Seeking Advice on Child Bit by a Dog

Updated on July 03, 2008
M.P. asks from Elmhurst, IL
30 answers

HI moms-

My two year old was attacked by my cousins dog this past Sunday, ended up in the hospital with stitches in his ear. I won't go into icky details, unless onw wants to know, but she and her husband never even apologized or stepped forward to offer to help in any way. My husband and I feel so betrayed, but we are not surprised they would act like this. I was told the night it happened, byher father, that her husband was very upset and concerned about what was going to happen to his dog. Then, while I was rushing my little guy to the hospital, they all went to a greaduation party...the nerve!
I was so upset and still am over this, however, I gave them plenty of opportunities to come forward and make it right...they apparently knew the dog was aggressive and couldn't be trusted. That makes me angry. Anyway, I need advice as to what some of you would do in reagards to accountability in this case. My poor son as been in the hospital, back and forth to the doctor, getting stitches out, and follow -ups. There is no decision made yet as to whether or not he will suffer problems with his ear or not. I just want prayer that he will not...only time will tell. Please, any advice you can give would mean so much. Of course, our son comes first before any of them, and the care he will need is our first priority, so. I just need advice on this from other family's. Thank you so much. p.s. my son is doing well, still has some pain, and I even think he has dreams. He wakes up crying and is so upset in the middle of the night, and it's been since this has happened to him. He loves doggies! We love him very much and will do anything to make sure he is taken care of now and later...I feel like they should pay. Shame on me (not very christian). Sorry. :(

thank you in advance to all,

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So What Happened?

First of all, I want to give all the moms a big hug and thank you for all your Prayers, thoughts, concerns and advice regarding my sons attack. He is doing wonderful, so far no fear of dogs. It does seem he may have had a nightmare or two, however he has been around a couple dogs since, including our own, and shows no to little fear. He does protect himself with his arms when they come up against him, but he is fine otherwise. I think this will pass with our support. Thank you all so much for all the responses and personel e-mails about this, it has helped me so much. You don't even know. I have struggled with this emotionally just because it was family, but I am over that aprt. Now I just want to see my son taken care of, as I have wanted from the begining. I feel no regrets getting an attorney involved to assure that happens the right way. I do believe all ties with the family will be cut after this is all said and done, but I believe with my hear that is and was God will. We have many troubles with this family before, just not treating me or my sons right, and this was the last time for that. I am so blessed to have my family and friends (including mamasource), and I couldn't ask for more. I know this is only the begining of what is to come with the claim, but with Gods strength, we are on the right path. Thank you all again, and God Bless all!! :) You all are awesome!!

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L.

answers from Chicago on

I realize this is family but the short answer it the dog needs to go. One way or another, it isn't okay.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I used to work for an insurance company handling dog bite claims - I'm glad your son is doing well. I know how traumatic this experience can be. Where did this happen? At their home or yours? They are definitely on the hook for your son's medical expenses, and if they have homeowner's insurance, you should also get some pain/suffering compensation under the liability portion of the insurance. Find out from them who their insurance carrier is, and file a claim. They don't need to give your permission or do it for you. Go ahead and call the 800# for the carrier and file it yourself. You don't necessarily need an attorney - find out what the policy limits are, and let the insurance company make you an offer. They might want to see what type of scarring, if any, results, prior to make an offer of any kind. Make sure you take photos of your son's injury, and the progression it makes as it heals. If there is any scarring or permanent disfigurement, the amount of compensation will increase. Keep good notes/records of all the events, doctor visits, and any issues/problems your son might have as a result of the dog bite (including nightmares!). All of these things strengthen your case. Definitely contact the police to get a report filed, and possibly animal control. Was the dog up to date on his shots? I would be happy to answer any questions you might have. Good luck!

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I would call them ask them if they wanted to talk about the incident. If the response is good then go and talk about everything and try to get it out and resolved so family life can go on. If they talk tell them your health insurance company has asked about a homeowners policy that should be responsible before your health insurance(which by the way may be likely that your health insurance won't pay before homeowners). If they are reluctant to talk it out tell them you need their homeowners policy and go for whatever you can get for his injury, however do not sign off on it as paid in full until you are satisfied with the offer for the injury. Also any extra funds received for this should go into an account or college fund for your child. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Chicago on

I am so sorry for what you are going through with your son. It sounds very difficult and emotional. But as far as recourse I would discourage it. It is TERRIBLE what happened but there's nothing to be done about it. You are under a great deal of strain and feeling so much empathy for your little guy that you are right to be outraged at the "people" responsible. It's a natural grief response. But these people are family and to sue them or go after them for money just doesn't feel right to me. While it's awful this happened to your son it sounds as though he's expected to recover. And while a fear of dogs is very sad, especially when he loved them so much, it's not something a judge will hand over money for.

Now, I do think that when/if the medical bills come in for his treatments you should make copies of them and ask your cousin to pay for them. That is perfectly acceptable and worth confrontation. But make sure you can have that conversation without blowing up at them. If you can't, send them a letter.

As far as their lack of understanding or empathy that's so unfortunate and makes everything feel worse. But it sounds to me as if they are simply irresponsible or young and don't have any idea what to do. If you can calmly suggest that an apology to your son would help you all heal then by all means teach them how to help you. But if all you are going to do is be angry and yell at them I don't recommend turning this into a family battle. The ripples of negativity and division something like this sets up in families can be very destructive.

Your cousin probably loves that dog as much as you love your kid. I know it doesn't feel the same to you but it might to your cousin. Or they could just be heartless rude people. Either way take the high road. It was an accident. Yes they should have handled it better and yes they've been insensitive. I'm not on their side but going after them will only cause your anger to fester. Forgive and forget and move on with your lives.

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N.T.

answers from Chicago on

I am really sorry that your son was bit! best of luck with a speedy recovery and best wishes for no problems with his ear in the future!!!!!! shame on them for allowing an aggressive dog near your child. I hope you the hospital made you report the attack.

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T.P.

answers from Rockford on

I would call animal control and get them involved. Did the hospital report it? They should have, if not call and find out if they did. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I will pray for your little guy and your family. I hope that your cousin comes around and does the right thing.
Take care.
T.

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A.F.

answers from Decatur on

Hi, I'm a veterinarian. Sometimes kids are a bit rough with dogs, but dogs should either be tolerant, or the owners should keep them away from strangers and children. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but owners should be liable for anything their dog does. I have put dogs down for far less. Usually the owner has some say, especially if its the dogs first offense and the owners promise to be more careful. I know you're situation is a little hard because the dog's owner is family, but I would be upset if it were my child. You should definitely contact animal control, and potentially a lawyer.

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S.G.

answers from Bloomington on

The dog owners should take responsibility for their dog's actions. That is only just.

The dog needs to be reported to protect other children in the future.

Most municipalities in IL have a 2 strikes your out policy with dogs. This is to protect people. It is not a personal issue with your relatives.

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

I did not read all the responses, so if I repeat I am sorry. I cannot tell you how sorry I am about your son. That he was bit by a dog that his people knew was aggressive is outrageous. They should have put him in another area when people visit. It is not the dog's fault he has bad people owners. But having said that...I say get an attorney. They sound like very shallow people and will probably find it hard to understand why you are so upset. Your son, and his emotional health is worth the fight for medical bills and counseling. Also, I am sure you know this, but have your attorney wait until the final word is in on the ear issue before settling.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

Firstly, ask God to help you see them with His eyes and to help you with forgiveness. Do not expect this happen overnight! I would be outraged and irate myself. I'm so sorry this has happened to your little boy.

Second, forgiveness aside, I would cut ties with these people, period.

Third, that dog is a danger to others and it would behoove you to call the local police and report this. The dog needs to be put down. Ignorant and irresponsible people like that ought not have animals anyway.

Fourthly, if you are so angry you can't speak to them but want them to know how awful this has been for you, send them the link to this page and let them read about it!

I will say a prayer for your son that he experiences healing, not just physical but emotional as well. Praise God for protecting him from serious, permanent harm! Katie

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R.A.

answers from Chicago on

that is terrible! i cannot believe that they let an aggressive dog around children in the first place, but to not even apologize or do a follow-up call!!! talk about un-christian and not family-like!
i would send them a bill for the er, doc, follow-ups, etc. if your insurance is amazing and you haven't had to pay anything, i would send a bill for the time and gas that i had to give up going to the er, doc, etc. i would include a note that very bluntly said something to the effect: this is a bill for the damages that your dog did to our son. it is still unclear if further work will have to be done on his ear, but we will send a further bill if this is the case.
if you want to say something about the hurt feelings, i would do that separately so that the two aren't misconstrued (ie, so that they don't feel that if they apologize they don't ahve to pay). paying for this is the very least they can do, and in most cities/states, that is legally what they have to do.

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D.C.

answers from Chicago on

First of all, I love animals, especially dogs. I have two big dogs, (German Shepherd and Lab/Boxer mix). I also have a 22 month old and one soon to be 4. As much as I love my dogs, if they ever bit my children, after I recovered from the shock (the dogs LOVE these boys), I would put the dog down. Sorry, kids can't defend themselves.

I hope you reported this. In some cases the dogs are automatically put down. I would also let your cousin know that you are reporting this, because wouldn't you feel even worse if this dog bit someone else's kid because you let it go? Just my opinion, but these people are NOT responsible pet owners, heck, they're barely even human beings after the way they brushed off this incident.

I would NEVER go to their house again and I would tell them how you feel about the indident. And if you don't want to, give me their number....LOL

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Whenever a child is bitten by an animal, that animal is supposed to be quarantined and watched for rabies. I think thay should be held financially responisble for your son's hospital bills. They are lucky you are not pressing charges against them for knowingly having an aggressive animal around a child. You are very kind. I would not be so understanding. Especially since they have shown no concern for your son. Please explain to him that he didn't do anything wrong and that some doggies (not all) are not nice soemtimes and that he doesn'thave to be afraid. it might take him sometime, but keep reassuring him. I will keep your family in prayer.

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A.B.

answers from Peoria on

I agree that your cousin has not handled this situation with any tact or family loyalties. I also agree that they should be held accountable. Have you contacted an attorney? Even if you don't see it through you should consult with one because if your little guy has problems down the road (and I pray that he doesn't) it could become very costly. I pray that everything works out and that your little one has no adverse reactions. Please keep us posted!!

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S.

answers from Chicago on

Hello. First of all I hope that your son is doing better. My daughter got bit by a neighbor's dog 2 years ago and had to have stitches (in her tush) so I know how traumatizing it is for you and your son. Here is what I did. I found out who the neighbor's homeowner's insurance company was and contacted them. THEY are responsible for the doctor bills and follow up, etc. They will also be responsible for therapy bills if that is necessary. After all of the bills are collected and treatment is all completed, the insurance company will make a settlement offer to you. You can either take it or hire an attorney. Usually the offer is fair so if you consider hiring an attorney, remember that the attorney will keep 1/3 of what they collect.

I wish you and your family nothing but the best.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

I am a dog owner to a pretty aggressive dog. She's never really bit anyone, but she lunges and barks and snaps to scare people. She's been through training after training, we even called specialists. Nothing has worked. However, because I know that she's aggressive I dont allow her to be in situations where there could be a problem. Once a dog attacks a human, they're done for and will absolutely do it again. County laws are first offense, is a fine, etc., second offense they get put down. Your cousins should be and legally are responsible for any and all medical bills. If they're mad at you because they cant figure out how to control their dog, then they are wrong. Im appalled that they didn't go to the hospital with you and instead went to a party. They are supposed to be family. Do what you can to get your son around NICE dogs asap. He may have developed a phobia, or at least could, so the best thing to do is "get him back on that hose" so to speak. Good luck and i Hope the best for your son.

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J.D.

answers from Decatur on

My grandson was biten in his daddy's home by the family pet.The grandma decided on her own to have the dog taken away and put down rather than question later.At the time Myles was only 2 1/2. He required the assistance of a plastic surgeon for the stitches as it was fairly deep( 2 layers of 30+ stitches total!!!) Myles immediately went back to daddy's looking for the dog. Since then they have gotten another dog and he has gotten bite or scratched by this dog, 3 times in about a 2 month period. The first time it wasn't deep enough to require a stitch but they glued it in case. The 2nd time it was a nasty scratch down the side of his face around his ear. The 3rd time they decided he needed a "stitch" cuz he was boy!!!! Needless to say,my daughter wasn't happy with it happening again so quickly,so she called Animal Control and pushed the issue. The first time they wouldn't do anything as he didn't require stitches as the 2nd time as well ( and neither time was "A bite").They quarantined the dog the last time at owner's total expense and allowed the dog back in the home as he was cleared of rabies,etc.
Anyway, an answer to your question,my grandson is a dog lover too and went right back to the dog. Surprisingly,he didn't have nightmares from any of the attacks. we ourselves have 4 dogs in our home but he has been raised with 2 of them from puppy and does well with them.
My suggestion is to turn to the animal control in your area to assist with any questions. And of course,if he went to the hospital,the doctor or staff shoud have caled in animal control anyway.As far as bills and the like it should be paid by the family's homeowner's insurance. If animal control hadn't been contacted for whatever reason,they should be notified now.
And whenever there is something of this nature,it is scary for everyone involved. The cousins should apologize at the very least. They are probably afraid of the consequences ( as they should be) and deserve to lose the dog at the very least. Kids are too innocent and deserve better. Good luck and email me back if you want.We can always chat more about it. J.

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C.P.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, if this happened to us, I would report the incident to the police right away. I know they are family, but since they are unwilling to take action on their own, you need to. What if this dog attacks another child? The owners clearly are not interested in training the dog to behave properly. I don't think they or the dog should be given the benefit of the doubt or a second chance. I love dogs and all animals, as does my entire family. I grew up with pets... But this is not acceptable. I really hope your son's ear heals and that he gets over the attack with time. I feel so bad for your little guy! My prayers are with you.
Also, that family should be covering ALL your son's medical expenses related to this incident. Another reason to report this to the police right away. Surely they have home owners insurance. I cannot believe that they haven't already volunteered to pay the expenses!

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Wow...this was like reading about what happened to me. When I was 10 I was attacked by a friend of the family's dog. I had to have reconstructive surgery on my ear because it was ripped apart pretty badly. The friend was given opportunities to help pay medical bills, and take care of the dog properly. When none of that worked we found out his home owners insurance would cover it. I know you may not want bad blood between you all, but for your child's sake and the safety of other children I would get a lawyer and make sure there is a court decree that the dog be put to sleep. The one that attacked me also attacked 3 other kids and bit through it's owner's face (which is when he decided to put the dog to sleep, go figure). I feel kind of responsible for that because when the judge asked me what I wanted done I told him I thought it should go to a junkyard or something. (I was little and didn't want the dog put to sleep myself. I love animals and thought it was the owner's fault for raising him that way). I appeared one time in court, and rec'd a pretty sizeably settlement that put me through college. Think about your child and no one else. I strongly believe an aggressive dog is just that, and once it has the taste of blood it will bite again.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Thank goodness your son is doing well. This could have ended horribly.

I could be wrong, but I thought doctors and ER people were required to report dog bites to the police. Regardless, you should report it yourself.

Call your cousin and tell them how you feel. That you feel betrayed by them, that you're reporting the bite to the police (if it hasn't already) and that you feel that they should pay for at least half of the medical expenses.

Unfortunately, their actions already indicate that they feel that they've done nothing wrong, and they will resent you reporting the incident. Let's face it, unless your cousins take responsibility for this, the relationship is damaged and not reparable. You don't have anything to lose by confronting them.

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

I couldn't agree more with Carolyn and she put it so nicely! I would report the incident to the police and move forward trying to seek re-imbursement on medical expenses. I know that this is family but they are being unreasonable. If they had showed the slightest bit of remorse and taken action, you might have a better feeling that they would do all that they could to ensure that this wouldn't happen to anyone else. You have incurred a lot of medical expenses as a result and you should not have to pay for this.

I hope that you and your baby recover from this soon and that you find peace with this whole mess.

Good luck.
N.

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M.2.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M. P - I feel awful for what your little boy went through this past weekend! I am also shocked at how 'lightly' your cousins reacted as well ... have they even called to see how your son is which is the least they can do! We are dog lovers (as is our whole family) but if one of the dogs ever attacked our daughter (or someone else) it would definately have to go. We were at a friends house last summer and they have a huge black dog (not sure what kind) that when let in the house went right for my then 2 year old daughter and as soon as I saw that dog coming I picked her up and the dog ended up getting my leg! That was the first time I had been biten by an animal and I couldn't believe how much it hurt ... I can only imagine how your little one felt / feels!!! Fourtunately the family was concerned and did call to see how I was the next day but I can assure you my daughter will never go there again. I'm sorry I have no good advice for you I just wanted to let you know that I hope your son's ear heals fast and also that you shouldn't feel 'un-christian' about not wanting to just let this entire situation be forgotten about! Good Luck!!!

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

Frankly, I think you are right. They were negligent and callous. Family or not, I think you should at least file a civil suit against them. They didn't try to warn you against his aggressiveness and couldn't have cared less that your child was hurt. Make them pay!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Just so you know, you are entitled to have your medical expenses paid by their homeowners or renters/condo policy. That is what guest medical and liability coverage is for.
The insurance company will not be happy with the fact they have a dog and probably exclude any future claims. That may bring to their attention the fact their dog is a huge liability exposure to them.
As far as how you feel about them, forgive them, it is not worth your body feeling negative feelings. That only affects you and not them.
Do not go to their home anymore and take the chance of subjecting you or your family to any further attacks. Dogs that have bitten or attacked are very prone to do it again. That is why they are afraid for their dog. If you press charges, they may have to have it put to sleep. That may save another child or person from going through what your child is.
I would keep my distance from now on. See them at other events, and not bring it up again.

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

First of all I would make sure the dog was removed from the home. This dog sounds agressive and what if he/she attacks one of the neighborhood kids next time? Then I would go after my cousins for damages. When it comes to animals and children there is a fine line. I don't like small dogs coming near my baby because you never know what they would do.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm a dog lover. I have two German Shepherds that I love dearly. I grew up with Shepherds and my Mom has had Rott's and now Great Danes. That being said, my one dog (Sydney) is aggressive and protective of her home. I know this, I've done extensive training with her and I knew long ago that she was to be kept away from kids. When people come over, my dogs are put away. They are OUR dogs and no one needs to be around them (unless they want to). I was concerned when we decided to start a family, but (thankfully) both have never, ever done anything but lick our boys. Lol.

Ok, that being said, IF either of my dogs were to bite someone, I would have taken action immediately and I would have paid for ALL bills. I (or hubby) would have gone with the to ER. Whatever it took. I would have reported it to my insurance company if the bills were more than I was comfortable paying myself.

Your cousin is absolutely wrong in this situation and at this point I agree with another poster that the relationship is already damaged. So, do what you need to do to get the medical bills paid and your son all the care he may need (which I know you are doing). Your cousin and her husband are responsible for paying for this. And, quite honestly, I wouldn't care what turmoil it caused with them because I wouldn't want my kids around people like that.

Good luck and I wouldn't hesitate to contact a lawyer if needed. I'm not a "sue-happy" person. I work in insurance and I see enough BS lawsuits to drive me nuts. BUT, this is a case where someone (cousin) is so wrong and not willing to accept responsibility. They may need an urge.

T.

I wanted to add that I write this assuming that the dog wasn't provoked in a manner that would justify a bite. And, by that I mean actual physical harm to the dog. That would change my feelings a bit.

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

I, too, am a huge animal lover - so my first instinct (in this situation) would be to call the police and report it. If this is the first instance, the dog may not have to be put down - it's possible they could take the dog away from your cousin and put it with a family that is willing to train it properly. As to your son, I'm so sorry this happened! I have a small dog myself, and am trying to conceive. My small dog (a 25 lb JRT) is extremely attached to me & my husband and I sometimes worry how he will b if I am carring for something other than him. We have taken him to training and talked with a personalized trainer and his vet to help prevent this - but that's the difference between responsible pet owners and, well, not responsible pet owners. My husband and I, though, have already said that if the dog should ever bite - he would be gone (given to another family) because our children will always come first. You said your son may be dreaing/having nightmares about this - I would talk to your doctor about it. I'm sure it's normal, but it could have traumitized him to the point where he may now fear all dogs! If that's the case you may want to try and take him to a child psych who could help him with that issue. Your cousin should definately take responsibility for what happened! I agree with the other M. that said that your cousin should be paying for all your son's medical records as well. If the police ask why you waited to report it, just tell them you got so caught up in your son's health that you forgot and someone pointed it out to you. It shouldn't matter how long you waited (give or take a few days), but I wouldn't wait too long. Like the other M. said too, what happens if this dog attacks again, and its another child. Your son is in my prayers - I hope he will be ok!

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

I feel the same way. If that had been one of my dogs I would be there at the hospital and offer to pay. I would have turned it into my homeowners insurance and they should do the same. One time when our dog was a puppy he got a hold of my mom's false teeth. I paid to get them fixed. We all had a good laugh on that one. I know when it is family it can get sticky, but I agree, the care for your child should come first. I will keep him in our prayers and wish you luck.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, so sorry that this situation has been taken so lightly by your relatives. Sadly, many people believe that, if they apologize and say "I'm sorry" that they have admitted fault. Shame on them - it is their concern! I'm a Christian too. That said, yes, they should be more compassionate and should take financial responsibility for the injury that was incurred. I hope your little boy heals quickly and that someday, his fear of dogs goes away. How sad! Prayers go out to you! I bet you're a great mom!

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, M. P. I'm glad to hear your son is doing fine now, but I'm sorry to hear about what he went through! Have you talked to them about them paying for your son's medical bills? If they refuse, then I would see a lawyer. They're financially responsible for what their dog does to others - person and property. They need to learn that now.

As for their rude behavior... You know, I have to admit I'm responding to your question after getting a bit heated with my sister when she hung up on me. I went out with my aunts for a couple drinks (it was the first time in 10 months that I've been out for a couple drinks), and she right away asked how I paid for that (I spent $12, but I guess since I don't really have any income I'm not allowed to spend even that). So I'm all hyped on people being rude and calling them on it (she hung up on me when I called her on it). Tell your cousin you feel hurt that after the incident, their only concern was what would happen to the dog rather than how your son is faring, and, to top it off, that they went to a graduation party after like it was no big deal. Do they have kids? Ask them how they would feel if the situation was reversed. Sounds like someone's lacking the empathy gene... And, if your cousin hangs up on you like my sister did, then you can do what I did and send her an email. If she reads it, she reads it. If not, well, no love lost? Definitely do what you can to get reimbursed for medical bills and, if you have to get the attorney, pain and suffering.

M.
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