Seeking Advice for Hopeless Situation

Updated on April 19, 2007
M.F. asks from Mount Ephraim, NJ
13 answers

i have been asked to leave my parents house (dv) but my duaghters could stay i see them everyday i am living with a man that is verbally wereing me out i dont make enough to afford an apartment but i make to much to recieve welfare (TANIF) i have called every number i could find and that was given to me i have been turned away from shelters i dont know where or what to do.

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So What Happened?

thank you everyone for the advice and yes there was more then what i was telling you. about a week and a half ago the man i was living with beat me i went to he hospital had a concusion when i told my parents about it the next day they said what was i going to do i asked if i could come back and stay for a while and they said no they said that i might be better off staying with him and working it out well i didnt listen and i lefi am staying at different friends houses and i am trying to get a one bed room apartment please pray that i get it and can make the bills 665 a month is still high for me i only make 800 a monthbut anyways thanks

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T.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

M., If I knew where you lived I could probably make a suggestion. I have a room for rent, but I live in Butler. I would work with you as far as the rent goes. If you'd like to talk, My E-mail is ____@____.com.

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F.V.

answers from Lancaster on

Not to sound smart, but why wouldn't you leave the man that is abusive for the sake of your children?? That makes sense to me. Never choose a man over your children!?! There are great men in this world hun. Your priority should be your children not a man.
Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

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A.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Dear michele,
There is a place that I know of it is called millstream apartments and they are low income and go by what you make.It is near the base but not on the base.THE KIDS there go to cblamb school.i will try and get you the number if you would like.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am so sorry.
What about checking into section 8 housing if you have that in your area?
Have you talked with your parents? You need to leave that "man" and I pray that you can do it soon.

Hugs

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C.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Try the women shelter of beaver county they don't turn anyone away, plus you can take your girls. I've delt with them for a few years and they are wonderful people i think you will like them alot. I'm not sure of the number but if you do ###-###-#### and ask for beaver, pa then teh women shelter they will give it too you.

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E.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You are still young enough for Job Corps - jobcorps.dol.gov I think the cut off age is 24. You can get job training at no cost if you qualify. Some locations also provide housing while you are in training.

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D.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi, I volunteer at the Lighthouse in Southern Butler County and they have shelter available for people who are in hopeless situations. I am not directly involved with the housing day to day activities, but you might want to call their and explain your situation and maybe they can help you out.

Thanks
D.

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A.P.

answers from Johnstown on

In the state of PA it is against the law for low income houseing to not rent you a apartment at a resn. rate. I went thru the same thing... Call your local WIC office and they will be more than willing to give you all the information you need! Good luck and dont give up! Its out there waiting for you just need to keep on looking!!

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C.D.

answers from Lancaster on

Hey I might be able to help but tell me a little more about your situation. what area are you in, how much is your monthly income and will you be taking your twins with you. I can search the web, did this for my 25 year old daughter who has a verbally abusive husband who was in the same situation as you, except she does not live near me she is 2 hours away. So let me know those answers and I can see if there is any kind of housing out there to get you into, or maybe an emergency shelter for batter women. Thank god he is no where around
C.

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Y.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

You can always look into roommates or housemates. That usually cost less but it might be harder if you are trying to have your girls with you.

Good luck.
Y.

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M.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

M., I am sooo sorry for your situation. I was recently divorced from an abusive jerk, but it still hurt horribly. Divorce stinks! I am living with my parents too, and it has taken a while for them to adjust to having 3 children in the house. Open communication with them is sooo important. I'm hoping you may be able to stay with them until you are more ready, but it sounds like you are living with someone.

I'm sure I won't be the only one to tell you that this guy needs to be set free. Abuse, whether verbal or physical, is totally not OK. Take it from someone who has been there and absolutely did not want to leave (I know it is crazy, but you are not the only one). I finally left because he was so awful to the children and was on drugs. It is so hard to let go, but if the ex is out of the picture, then just keep on going. It will take time, you are the strong one who needs to keep it together. What if the ex decides to pop up and want custody?

I would get rid of the new guy and stay with your parents. Set up "rules" and schedules with them so that they are not feeling like built-in babysitters. MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU NEED TO BE LIVING WITH YOUR TWINS NO MATTER WHAT. They need you more than anyone else including that guy. Again, if your ex gets the idea he actually wants to be a dad, and the kids are not with you, you are screwed, the court may decide he should have them.

This is a serious problem, but not hopeless! Keep working, stay with your parents and get rid of that new guy. Focus on the kids and you will be so much happier!

Hang in there and good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,
It's not hopeless, it just takes time. You need to ask yourself why you were asked toleave and really assess where your parents are coming from. I don't your whole situation, but maybe there is something you need to change in your actions. Do you get to visit with your girls? Whatever you do, don't play the victim. Otherwise you will set yourself up for failure. Write yourself out a plan to get to where you want to be. I say write it because you will be able to realize it better and stick to it. I'm not trying to put you down, but my guess is that you wouldn't have left your girls there if you didn't trust your parents. Depending on where you live, there are places that can assist with living expenses even if you don't qualify for welfare.
I hope that your situation works out for you.

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

It is called low income housing and I know for a fact that right now in delaware there are openings. What you have to do is go online and goggle it by putting in low income housing in delaware, it will pull up a listing that gives you numbers and places, although it will take a few days at least you will make it out okay. Get away from a loser that does not care for you and you're children. It is not worth being abused.Get him away from you're daughters because they will see it and think that that is okay.

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