Seeking Advice for Good Age to Have Another Baby

Updated on November 16, 2006
A.M. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
14 answers

My daughter is going on 10 months old. My husband and I are thinking about having another baby. We want them to be close in age.

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

The sooner the better. I have a 1 and 5 and it is so hard to find something to do for the both of them. having them closer you can also have them share there stuff.

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

There is no "perfect" time to have the next child, but we also wanted ours close together, and they are 17 months apart. Boy and girl. They are great! They are really close and play pretty well together. We get 2 of some toys (balls, trucks, trains) because they are very possessive of toys, but that is getting easier as they get a bit older (they are now 2 1/2 and 4). We didn't get to reuse clothes, but we do reuse pajamas, and my daughter refuses to wear her cute pink shoes. She finds her brother's old ones with the flashy firetrucks! I love that they will never remember a time when the other wasn't there. We didn't rush the first one. We still picked him up when he needed it, and we got a second crib and some new baby toys so my son wouldn't feel pushed out by the baby. Each of my children is different and it can be hard not to compare them when they are close together. It definitely has its challenges, you spend more time playing referee, and they each want 100% of you sometimes, which is not possible, but it is so wonderful, too, to watch them play with each other, and make up games and have them cuddle up on each side for storytime.

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R.

answers from Dallas on

Just a comment. My husband and I have been married 16 years and our two girls are 8 years apart. They were both planned and they love each other very much. They rarely fight because they have such different activities. The oldest is now 14 and the youngest is 5. Yes, I go from teenage trials to kindergarden woes, but it just reminds me how quickly the years fly by. So I want to encourage you that whatever timing works out for your family will be special. There is no one perfect time or age.

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D.

answers from Dallas on

Short intervals between births are more commonly associated with negative impacts on the second infant's health. Conceiving within 6 months of a live birth increase the chance of premature birth by 40%. Statistically, it is recommended to conceive the second child between 18 and 23 months of the previous live birth. Is is presumed that the additional time gives your body the opportunity to replenish and that could have a lifelong impact on the second child's health. I think your kids will or will not be close based on the way you parent them and their natural tendency to be alike/different. For every parent that says their kids are close because they have a small difference in age, you'll find another that says their kids aren't close because of the same thing. I'd try at 18 months.

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,

I have two boys and they are 18 months apart. It has been wonderful! The older one is young enough so he's not jealous - he just enjoys having a baby around. It's also been nice because we're still in baby-mode anyway. We didn't get used to having an older kid and then have to re-learn the baby stuff. I think it'll be wonderful when they're older, too.

Good luck! C.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

A., I got pregnant with my daughter when my b/g twins were 10 mths. old. In the beginning it was a little hard, but we have our routines down, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The twins play big brother/sister with her, and don't completely understand everything, but it's fun to watch them learn. Just like with any siblings they will fight, but that's just a part of growing up. I fought with my brother, and we are 4 years apart. The closer in age the more they will have in common the older they get. You are young, and your health is on your side. I'm a mother to three under the age of 2, and I'm getting ready to celebrate my 38th birthday. I think it's a decision that you and your OB-Gyn should make depending on your health. Best of luck to you!!

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M.F.

answers from Dallas on

Ours are 22 months apart and it was a pretty rough first year after the second was born. They're great together now though! (age 3 1/2 and 19mo). If you want them close, under 3 yrs is best. After that, they're too far apart to have much in common. My two can still play with a lot of the same toys, and I don't have to worry that the older one has tiny toys that are a choking hazzard for the little. AND, I like that all this toddler/preschool business will be OVER with at the same time.

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest daughter was 11 months when I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter. The second pregnancy was not planned and very unexpected. My daughter's are 19 months apart and it has been AWESOME! They really have been a blessing. My oldest daughter is the other "little mommy!" she loves to help me the younger one (and always has since her birth). Now my oldest just turned 3 and my youngest will be 18 months on Nov. 18th. They play really well together. I highly recommend having babies close together now. I was 26 and 27 when they were born!

Good Luck,
N.

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi A.,
I have a 24 month old and a 6 month old, my boys are 18 months apart and it is working out great! My older boy is still young enough that he is NOT jealous and wants to help and protect "Baby". It also makes for a good routine... still have 2 in diapers, carseats, toys are still big enough that not many pose a choking hazard. Also, the highchair, bathtub and carseat rotation (older moving out, younger moving in) is working like clockwork!

We have just had very minor issues due to age, my older son wants to touch the baby’s eyes and lay on top of him while he is trying to crawl. He was helping us with the first rice cereal meal last night and gagged him with his little spoon :-) Live and Learn!

Good luck to you!
E.

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W.

answers from Dallas on

Now is a good time to start. I have three boys. 91/2, 7 and 6
The two youngest are really close. You are young and SAHM. Have the next one soon. When they are all in school you'll be happy.

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K.R.

answers from Dallas on

I am 28yrs old My girls are 2 yrs apart and that is a good age they get along very well and the clothing is so easy they can share each other its like having twins when they are close in age

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A.

answers from Dallas on

I am a 29 mother of three- ages 3, 2 and 2 weeks. My oldest two are 16 months apart and the youngest two are 22 months apart. My 3 year old and 2 year old are very close and are great playmates. I love having them close together!!! Do it now while you still have the energy!!!! lol
Good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Everyone thought I was crazy to get pregnant when my son was 9 months old ... let me tell you, it was the best move I ever made. But with that said should we have another one I will wait till my daughter is 2. Not that I regret it, but I have been pregnant what seems like for 2 straight years ..and think I deserve just a little longer break! ;-)

GOOD LUCK!! You will know when it is right .. regardless the main point is you and your hubby want another one ... do what your heart says!

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Y.D.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 children that are 21 months apart and we really wouldnt have it any other way. The first couple of months were an adjustement for us all, but now things are really working out well. I am glad we had them so close together.

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