Scared to Send Her to School

Updated on August 13, 2009
A.G. asks from Houston, TX
26 answers

moms, i've feel i've messed up, i've been homeschooling my daughter all her life, she is now 6 and about to start 1st grade. She knows her alphabet, reads a bit but not fluently, other than that she is advanced in her math and can count to 100, she is very mature, i feel a little too mature. Her knowledge of life and common sense are surprisingly fantastic. I am worried about her reading, and time is running out.

I reallllllllly don't want her to end up in the special classes just because one facet of her education is lacking.

realistically what should i expect?

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So What Happened?

thanks moms, i have copied down her sight words and we will go over them. she knows probably 20 words, and how to sound out and write all her letters, i was undetr the impression she was behind, but yet i know no other 6 year olds besides her. I forgot to mention that the reason i am nervous is because i know for a FACT i haven't given enough time to her home school lessons, we have a new baby around here, 9 months now, and the new one takes more of my time than i anticipated., thank you for all your lovely responses. most of you made me feel comfortable entering her into school.

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L.B.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I would not worry about this,if she needs extra help so be it. There will most likely be others also.

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

She is right where she needs to be! By the end of first grade she will be fluently reading just fine. My daughter was just starting to sound out words at the start of first grade and by the end she was reading short chapter books. There will be kids starting first who do not have even that under thier belts. She sounds like she is in good shape.

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T.L.

answers from Austin on

Children start to learn letter sounds and begginers reading is 1st grade.As long as you practice w/her continuiously she'll be fine.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

Quit panicking!! They go to school to LEARN-and kids at that stage are ALL over the place with regards to reading. I remember my son's Pre-K teacher really wanted him to be held back because he wasn't interested in reading or his letters. He did just fine in Kindergarten but was not really reading by the time he got to first grade. Just wasn't interested. Somewhere between first and second grade he took off. At the end of second grade he was reading fluently-a real surprise to me! In third grade on the Iowa skills test he scored in the 98 percentile for both Vocabulary and Reading Comprehension-he was reading at a 6th grade level. He's 17 now and his room is scattered with the most amazing assortment of books- he loves to read. I think reading to your child is the most important thing you can do to help her along. And - I do have a dyslexic child- they don't even start "special" classes for delayed readers until the end of 2nd grade usually (unless there is a HUGE problem evident earlier) because so many kids are at so many different levels coming into first. Remember - Kindergarten is not required in Texas so there may be kids in your child's first grade class with NO prior instruction. Be kind to your first grade teacher and give her lots of support- she has an amazing task ahead of her!!! (And personally I think so many people/school systems focus on teaching things early rather than well, that sometimes the information is presentd before most kids are truly ready to receive it.) Good luck!

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S.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi A.! I taught kinder for 5 years, took 2 years off to stay home with my 2 daughters and am going back to teaching kinder this school year. By the end of kindergarten we expect children to be phonetically writing and reading (such as writing the word balloon "balon" because that is how it sounds) and reading easy read, predictable books. Please don't be worried, it sounds like you have done a wonderful job and from what you have said she is exactly where she should be. Your child's first grade teacher should not expect her to read fluently yet, that is part of the curriculum for 1st grade. Relax and just make sure you are keeping up with her teacher and helping her with her homework at home. She will do great!

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Relax. Most first graders can't read yet. The teacher will be working on the steps to reading in first grade. Social skills and common sense are huge, huge advantages to a first grader. Congratulate yourself on helping guide her successfully in that area.

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D.C.

answers from College Station on

My youngest finished 1st grade last May and I agree with Laurie. I had a lot of apprehension and he did just great!

Plan on doing as much reading in the coming year with your daughter as you can. Don't hesitate to ask the teacher for book recommendations. My son's teacher gave us some very nice easy-to-read paper books and it was (still is) fun seeing (I mean hearing) him recognize more sight words and be able to "read to me". It turned into a fun way to show how it was to show how much more of a Big Boy he is becoming.

My son is actually doing some writing! Most of it is mimicking what he sees on TV shows and hears from his older brothers! I enjoy watching him explore new words.

Communicate with your teacher! Take the first step by asking for a Parent-Teacher conference early. Even just getting a chance to voice your concerns and hearing what he/she sees in your child. I'm willing to make a bet that you will hear the reading won't be a problem, that your daughter is making good progress, and even how best to help from home.

Good luck!

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Mom, take a deep breath. Your daughter sounds like she is going to do great! First graders are all over the place in reading. Some are still not reading. If she is behind in her reading (which I doubt she is), I am sure she will catch up in no time.

She is probably very mature, but wait till she gets to school and meets children that have older siblings! Or children that have siblings that have special needs. They are also very mature all in different areas.

I was a PTA President at an elementary school. I saw all sorts of families. The kids all did great in these new situations, it was the parents that had the most emotional reactions. Do not let your child see or hear you expressing any sort of anxieties about any of this.

Instead focus on how well she is going to do and how much fun school is. All of her new friends. Having a wonderful teacher and classroom. Getting to eat in the cafeteria. Getting to take music, art and gym classes.

Remember to take a picture the first day of school, maybe on your front porch with her backpack. At the end of the day, see if you can also request that she get her picture with her new teacher. Try to do the front porch photo every year. It is fun to look back and see her posed in the same way all through her school years.

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M.N.

answers from Longview on

I am sure she will be fine. I don't think she wiil end up in a special class. The first graders are beginning to read and progress all year long. I truly feel she will be fine.

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D.H.

answers from Houston on

They aren't really reading when they go into first grade yet. Maybe a word here and there. I would not worry. By the end of first grade she should have learned quite a bit. If she's picking up things well there shouldn't be a problem. You can also check online for the school she will be going and see if you can print off the site words for kindergarten and first and that should help. That's mainly all they are doing at the beginning. I have 3 children all in school. So hopefully that helps. Calm down and everything will be just fine. Just be sure to help her when she gets home from school at least at the beginning so you can get a better idea of where she stands in her class.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

It sounds to me that she's right on track. My 6-yr-old daughter is also entering 1st grade. She went to Pre-K part-time and Kinder last year. She can count to 101, knows how to read a little, etc. Pretty much exactly as you described your kiddo. The first 6 weeks involves catching all the kids up to the same level (remembering what they did last year) anyway, so if she's behind in any subject, she'll catch on quickly. Unless she is having severe learning deficit--and it doesn't sound like she is--the 1st grade is not going to put her in any 'special class'. I don't think you need to worry.

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N.K.

answers from Houston on

A.,
Are you considering placing your daughter in Public school? Well, if you are, (if it is a good school) they will work with her and get her to the level she needs to be. Don't worry so much, she is only 6 yrs old. she will be perfectly fine. My Daughters are 9 and 7 and my oldest has always had reading problems, but they work very closely with her so she doesn't get too behind, and it helps.

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T.F.

answers from Austin on

In my opinion RELAX! Kids learn so fast she will do great in first grade! I have a 6 yr old going into first grade as well. Enjoy them. Its kind of like moms stressing about potty training.....I dont know many 20 yr olds that are not potty trained or dont know how to read! Enjoy her!

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S.G.

answers from Corpus Christi on

My son will be entering 1st grade this fall. School has changed so much since I was in school. I just would like to share with you what he learned. I was very surprised how much is actually taught in Kindergarten. My son's classroom had a small class ratio. My son reads very fluently and so do most of his classmates. Amazing progress from the beginning of the school year.

They were taught to record ideas in writing on a regular basis, measurements explaing halfs and whole parts etc, mastering uppercase/lowercase letter writing, reading calendars such as the days, weeks,months. recognizing shapes in real life, History like holidays explaining and identifing them, historical figures. Science was taught by learning technolgy used in homes, identifing and describing. All the kids got computer time playing on starfall.com. Math, adding and subtracting, word problems. Art was taught by learning about Van Gogh, etc. I could go on and on.

A real eye opener for me. I'm very happy with the curriculum at my son's school as it keeps my son very challenged and the school is not private. Good Luck, children are sponges and have so much potential, have faith.

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T.V.

answers from Houston on

She's just starting formal school, it's not a big deal if she's gifted in math and other skills she won't be penalized she'll be encouraged in her reading and chances are she might have an extra reading class which she'll enjoy. Make sure you stay involved with her teacher, she'll be fine.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi A.,
Don;t worry, send her to school. She is "not behind" in her learning and she will catch on very quickly. Especially since she is as bright as you claim.

If she struggles at first you can help her- she will be fine.
good luck and blessings

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

First of all, she sounds more advanced than my son who has just been promoted to first grade at the best promotion requirement when it comes to reading. He struggled hard to get there. So, I wouldn't worry about her reading level at this point. If she struggles, they won't put her in special ed classes just because of that. They might provide a tutor for extra help, only because the teachers don't have time to provide that smaller group help that is needed many times. My son did this and it didn't bother him at all.

Secondly, you, the parent, have rights to what classes your kid is in. No child can be put in special ed, ESL(English as a Second Language), bilingual, or any other programs with a parent denial letter. Your daughter has no mental retardation or learning disabilities I presume. Therefore, she would not even be a candidate for testing for special ed. And, even if she did qualify, you have the right to refuse the help. They are required to provide the opportunity. You are allowed to deny it, in most cases. I think the exceptions would be for students that are severely handicapped and could not function in a typical classroom environment. Everything will be all right.

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G.B.

answers from Houston on

I found some free kindergarten exit tests online for my daughter. I homeschooled her for K and wanted to see if she was ready for 1st grade. One of them is from a Muslim school I guess---I just disregarded the religious aspect:
http://www.dpi.state.nd.us/title1/resource/select/math/te...

http://www.iqracenter.com/exams/Final_KG_Exam.pdf

http://kindergartencce.wikispaces.com/file/view/K+Math+Di....

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.-

If I'm understanding you correctly, you are sending your daughter to public school for 1st grade this fall? My son just completed 1st grade in Conroe ISD and based on where he was when he started 1st grade I'd say your daughter may be slightly behind, but not to any extreme. A lot is going to depend on your district so my suggestion would be to contact the principal of the school and talk to her/him. Even if just via email, she may be able to help you feel more confident about your daughter going to 1st grade. To my knowledge the schools no longer have "special classes" just because a child is slightly behind. To get any kind of special help in schools these days you have to be diagnosed with a learning disability and even then it's hard to get services (I know, I have a son who does not qualify for services even with a diagnosis.)

Does she know the common sight words? You can find them at http://www.theschoolbell.com/Links/Dolch/Dolch.html

She'll most likely be working on these throughout 1st grade but you could give her a head start.

Good luck!
K.

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D.J.

answers from Austin on

Don't worry about her reading . . . all children develop their skills at differnt rates and it sounds like she is in the "superior" classification of all other aspects of school (for 1st grade).

My daughter was in public school all her school years and, due to what we the school system finally agreeded was dyslexia, she didn't read "fluently" until at least 3rd grade but was NOT put into any "special ed" classes.

YOu will be amazed when she starts "not-at-home" school, she will probably jump righ in with if not aheaad of the others.

If you are concerned, just keep an eye on things and keep in contact with her teacher/school. . . they are always happy to see a concerned (not blaming) and supportive parent.

Deep breath, she will be ok and so will her reading skill.

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

i am homeschooling my son also, who is 6, and we have just started first grade. we are doing a highly respected curriculum (bju press). i can tell you to not worry at all, the first 3 weeks have all been reviewing the first 30 numbers, writing them, saying them, drawing them in the air, adding one and subtracting one.
language arts has been learning colors and color words, letters of the alphabet and reading words such as it, on hat cat etc.
dont worry at all, she will not be behind in any way.

you could continue to homeschool also, there are so many support groups in the area.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

Relax!!!
I am a Kindergarten teacher in the area. I understand that you are worried. If your daughter knows her alphabet, is reading a little, and can count to 100 she is in good shape. Some students will know more some will know less. Be sure that she also knows her letter sounds. Some areas that are overlooked by parents for literacy are phonemic awareness:rhyming, unblending words, sounding out etc. This is very important. There is also a list of words called the dolch sight words. These are the most common words in the english language. The first 25 words are memorized at the start of 1st grade at our school. It would help her even if this is not a requirement. The words are very simple a,at, the, like...They should be memorized because they do not follow traditional phonics rules. From what you have said I would be very surprised if she is in special classes. Don't feel that you have messed up!
The reason I would generally not recommend home-schooling is for the social development. Many children are mature and grown up in adult company but can have trouble comunicating, and sharing with other children.
Go with your daughter the first day and try to meet the teacher. Tell her your daughter's background and tell her to please let you know if she has any concerns. Teacher's are your biggest ally. The teacher should be able to help you.
Personally, I think she will be just fine!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Just curious- have you considered continuing to teach her at home? Every child has different strengths and weaknesses and you can help her grow at the right pace for her if she stays at home.

My girls are 6, 5, 4, 2. They have always been at home as well. My 5 YO is a WONDERFUL reader. She can read on a second grade level. My 6 YO has a harder time with it, though. She is great at math! I can ask her "If you had one quarter, a dime, a nickle, and three pennies, how much money would you have?" My 5 YO can't do that.

I know there's a myth that every child has to know the same things as the other children of the same age, but there's only one reason for this- the traditional school system which has never been proven to be more effective then schooling to the individual, only more EFFICIENT. After all, one teacher cannot teach a class of 20-30 children to their specific needs. YOU CAN!! I can guarantee you that there are children in every classroom who can't read as well or doesn't understand a math concept or zones out during history and geography. We are all unique with special talents and interests and homeschooling is the BEST way to encourage them (and to help with the weaknesses!)

At the end of the school term I printed a first grade entrance exam off the internet. I administered them separately to my 5 and 6 YO. They passed 100% with the exception of understanding the values of the coins. My 6 YO understands it, and I'm working with my 5 YO. It's my expectation that they will both be on the first grade level when the new school term begins, but they will still be at home.

S.

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K.C.

answers from Houston on

You are right that reading is very important and something to consider. If she is close... has some sight words, and can sound out some words on her own, she may pick up on the rest very quickly once in a classroom environment. On the other hand, at 6 you might consider enrolling her in kindergarten instead of first grade. Lot's of moms hold their children back a year to help them be more mature and more successful in school. You may find it to be an easier transition and there are a lot of benefits to being the more mature and advanced kid in the class... In Texas kids are not required to be in school, or homeschooled, until the age of 6. This website may be helpful!

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/168757/prepare_y...

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

When my daughter was in first grade they had to know how to read a little bit, but mainly know their sight words. You can buy a pack of flash cards at wal-mart and practice them at home. I found them in the same isle as the leap pad stuff but at the end of the isle in a little red box that says beggining sight words. I kept almost all of the stuff they had to do in kindergarten and one of those things was a list of sight words that they had to know, but I only have the list till February of the school year. but they are: "I, am, like, can, me, a, see, too, to, my, you, said, for, the, we, are, he, at (and at words like cat, rat, bat, sat etc.) go, so, day, all, out, up, it, and, on, in, look, like, is, do, what, where, but, got, they, had, was, of, went, then, were, she, with, her, that, have, has, when, there, as, his, one, pencil, teacher, book, and the names of the colors and numbers up to ten. I think that if your daughter can read and write these words she should be ok. I also kept some of the story books made of paper that they had to read during the year. I can scan them and email them to you or I can fax them to you if you'd like so you can have an idea of what they are reading by the time they go to first grade. Just send me a message with your info and I'll send it as soon as I can. Good luck and I wouldn't worry, it sounds like she'll be ok as long as she reads a little.

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

www.starfall.com is a great reading program (free!) that your daughter can use that's fun and can move her quickly through basic reading levels.

It sounds like you've already started doing a wonderful job preparing her for life. Please remember that reading level is not necessarily what grade level is, and you are not a failure for not having a fluent reader before entering the first grade. Fluency comes with practice and there are so many skills involved, not everyone is wired to master this at such a young age. My guys read fluently at different ages (not all in the first grade...) and I was glad for the extra time homeschooling gave us for mastering this out of the public eye (grandparents were enough :)

I've found that the times I have most anxiety (like what you've expressed) are when I anticipate my child will be compared to others, and fear them coming up short. I don't think this is something that is exclusive to home schooling, however.

I had to laugh when a friend sent her children for the first time after spring break, just as everyone in the public school was cramming for the TAKS. Somehow the school gave this mom the impression that they "caught her children up to speed" in the few weeks before he took the test...it was like she had totally discounted all the hard work she did, and learning he did, that went on before he went to school. (He ended up doing quite well from what she said and she took no credit.)

I know reading experts in the AISD, if your child does need help I know they'll be really professional and helpful. I think everyone is pretty sensitive to labeling...I'll leave that for someone else to say whether they feel this is around.

As for me, my guys are going to a grandma down the street, who is making them read before playing the wii.
Just helping her practice in fun ways will help with her confidence and you with your fears.

Blessings to your new adventure!

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