SAHM Suggestions

Updated on July 30, 2008
S.F. asks from Grapevine, TX
22 answers

I have a long story, so bear with me. I stayed home after my 3rd child was born to do the SAHM thing. Did not do so well. I HATE to clean- but I have found flylady, so it's bearable :o). I frequently had the kids in front of the TV while I was cleaning or organizing. Then the youngest started walking and getting into everything. I about lost it and got severly depressed. My DH and I decided I needed to go back to work. I am an oncology nurse and am good at what I do. Plus I enjoy it.
Since then activities for all 3 kids have become more and more difficult. My DH has a very demanding job. He works a ton and even when he is not a work, it's not uncommon for him to have frequent phone calls or be stuck on the computer for hours while he fixes something at work. We talked and decided that it was time for me to stay at home again. I resigned my job that I loved and everyone will be going to school in the fall (The youngest will be 4 and start 5 day preK).
Given all of that I am in somewhat of a quandry. I still haven't figured out how to keep everyone/thing clean without ignoring the kids for long periods of time. When I was working we hired someone to clean, and all I had to do was pick up. Plus I never worried about the heavy duty stuff. I figured I would get around to it eventually. I'm still working on what to do with them during the day. I don't have anything organized, it's too hot to be outside long. And I have no idea what to do for fun with them that is fairly cheap. We are going to the dollar movie tomorrow and we swim everyday. So what does everyone do? I feel like my kids are couch potatoes. Most of my friends work or are an hour away.
The other issue is that I can't sleep. I figure it has to do with the fact that I'm not on my feet for 8-10 hours a day anymore. But I'm falling asleep at 2 and 3 in the morning, and then waking up at 7 am. So of course I'm exhausted and really don't want to do a whole lot.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

If you can afford to stay home, then working it seems like you should be able to afford a part (or full time - even live in) nanny / housekeeper kind of person... someone who can transport the kids to some of the activities and do light housekeeping while they're at school and you're at work.

It's just a thought - but I know that, staying at home full time, I get a little nuts. I'm a better mom when I'm working - and my kids are happier.

Oh - and have the little angels help you. My 11 year old can do anything in this house that I can, except work with chemicals... my 5 year old can make his bed and run a mean vacuum, and my 2 year old can put his toys in a basket. They enjoy "working with mama".

S.

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H.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hey Shelly, Have you looked into a MOMS club!! MOMS stands for Moms offering moms support. It is a group of stay at home moms that get together for playdates, moms night out etc. I think the website is momsclub.org if you wanted to see if there is one in you ares. I belong to the MOMS club of southwest Fw and I love it. I am also learning to let my house go a little bit. I have a son who is 18mon. and my daughter is 6wks.so for awhile my house will just have to be a little messy.

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P.B.

answers from Tyler on

Sam's carries a LARGE block of construction paper and scissors, glue, crayons, etc. are all REALLY cheap right now at Wal-Mart (back to school). These are always fun.

Also, turn OFF the TV and tell the children that if they can help you clean up (pick up the toys/clutter), you will play a board game with them. OR even offer to read each one of them their choice of book.

They are all old enough to at least HELP with some kind of light housework. I suggest that you start a chore chart with your kids so they can help you tackle the small stuff and free your time a bit. Here is a copy of a post I submitted for another mom recently:

"I have a child with special needs, but we implemented a chore chart for him that might help you with your youngest.

Silverware - after the knives and unusual utensils are taken out I put it on the counter above the silverware drawer and call him in (you may want to use a step stool). Worth 1 credit (explained below).

Towels - the wash clothes and hand towels are his domain. Also the towels that button onto the cabinets in the kitchen (great motor skill to button). Every 5 towels are worth 1 credit.

Pick up - Picking up toys after playing (working on doing this without being told). Worth 1 credit.

Trash - taking some smaller bags out to the large can and putting a fresh liner (bag) into the can after it is taken out. Worth 1 credit per 3 cans.

Dusting - my older son usually does this, but every so often the yonger one will grab a Swiffer duster (I love these things) and walk around dusting everything (chairs, toys, people, etc). I award 1 credit for effort.

Homework - This is usually only used in the school year, but we also reward for reading in the summer. (This can be for your older daughter.) Worth 1 credit per subject/page of homework (1 credit per 20 minutes of reading).

I do not pay an "allowance". I pay on "commission". If the child does chores, the child gets paid weekly for what is DONE. Once the child has earned enough to buy something, we take a trip to the store with the money (this also teaches the value of money). I have assigned 5 cents per credit (I'm cheap). My older son just recently asked for a raise. LOL

Please google: Dave Ramsey

His book is EXCELLENT and will go into more detail on this principle."

Blessings,

P. <><

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

S.,

Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Being at home full time after working full time takes getting used to. It took me a year to figure it out and now the idea of working full time stresses me out. :)

I noticed that you have received a lot of advice on keeping the house picked up, so I will try to address the "what do you do?" part of your question.

I have 2 girls (4 and 14 months) and summers are hard b/c there is no real routine/schedule. Here are some of the things we do to spend our day (without too much tv):

1. Check out the DFW community calendar for a schedule of things around the metroplex. You can find it here: http://www.town-mall.net/community/events-july.html.

2. If there is a mom's group near you check it out. I am involved in MOPS and in a local group called SMILE. We don't do everything they offer, but it has been great to meet other moms who are in the same boat I am and it's been great to have scheduled events to go to if we want.

3. Instead of the tv, we turn on the radio. We get XM radio through our tv, so I turn it to Radio Disney during the day. It's nice to have some music on that we can all listen to (and doesn't sound like little kid music). Plus we dance around to it or I clean to it while they are playing.

4. Play outside in the morning. We go to the park or play in the back yard as much as we can in the morning. This can get boring me, but I try to do some of my outside chores while they are digging in the sand box. we also play with chalks and bubble, and we paint the fence with water. It can be a lot of fun.

5. We have kids over a lot. I will have mini-parties for my oldest and her friends. Some themes we have are a bring you own toppings pizza party (I supply crust, cheese, and sauce), cookie decorating party, unbirthday party where each guest buys something at the Dollar Tree (so it only costs $1), wraps it and every one gets an unbirthday gift, slip-n-slide party, book party where guests bring their favorite book and we read them (I supply snacks), and before we got grass in the yard we had a "see how dirty you can get" party and gave prizes to the muddiest kids. A couple of weeks ago we had our second annual diaper and wipe dinner where we feed you dinner (hot dogs and such) and you bring a pack of diapers and wipes for the community pregnancy center.

6. Volunteer. I know that seems weird to do with a preschooler, but my daughter and I go to the local food pantry and sort canned goods, restock the shelves, and get bags ready for families when they come in. She is learning how to serve/help other people and we both feel really good about giving back to our community.

7. Look for free places to swim. We visit Granbury's city beach quite a bit. It's free and so much fun. If you live near a lake there are usually free beaches to play at. Sometimes there are even trails to walk through. We use to do that a lot (I am not sure why we haven't done that this year. hmm.).

8. Also check out local YMCAs to see what they offer. A lot of times they will let you visit 2x for free. We went and climbed the rock wall in Benbrook one after noon and then went the park next door for a picnic. It was a lot of fun. I have also asked the neighborhood fire department if we could see the trucks and the inside of the fire station. They are usually very excited about showing the kids (and you) around, and the kids love it.

I hope you get inspired a little bit. We do still watch tv. I don't want to make it sound like we don't. The tv is on until we finish breakfast, then it's the radio until nap where they can watch a cartoon before nap. Then it's off again until before bed when they watch another cartoon to settle down a bit.

Good luck and have fun!

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Sister you need to chill out! You're going to drive yourself nuts along wth your kids & your spouse. We have all know that feeling but you gotta pick your battles.
Read this poem & remember to keep things in perspective.

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I'm a 54 year old stay at home, homeschooling mother of 10 children, well, the 10th will be official when we adopt him, he's our foster son, but lives here just the same. Three children have left our nest, although the college son is home for the summer, so I have eight living here at the moment. We do not have a tv in the house.
I get up in the morning, get everyone breakfast, then at nine o'clock, everyone helps me pick up and clean. By 10, we have a fairly clean house. The rest of the day, I pick up as needed, do laundry and whatever else comes around. We live on a small farm, and we raise animals as well.
My advice to you is to join flylady, that will help, and to declutter, declutter, declutter. That doesn't have to be done in a day, so make a deal with yourself that you will spend a certain part of the day cleaning, and the rest is YOUR time.
I do not entertain my children. I talk to them constantly, read to them at certain times of the day, and include them in what "I" am doing. They have their toys, their school, and a farm to keep themselves busy. If they dare tell me they are bored, that's it, they get a chore. I may have to direct them once in a while, but I don't entertain them. On Fridays, we go somewhere - the library, the museum, the zoo, or something, and some of them have music lessons, but mostly, we keep ourselves busy here at home, where we are supposed to be, doing useful activities.
I could go on and on, but just remember, your children are more important than the house. Turn off that tv, get them reading and moving, fill those minds with useful stuff so they will grow up with good character.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Being a SAHM is actually a pretty special time, but I do understand the weird feelings from not working anymore. Before getting married, I worked in chemical plants/refineries doing 84-91 hours a week for weeks at a time. It felt very strange to do a "normal" job after that. Then my son, born 6 weeks early, was in the NICU for 2 weeks and I just switched gears.....I didn't want to give him over to anyone else to watch, and became a SAHM. I loved it in one sense, but it was very taxing in other ways because we had no family/friends here (new to the area at the time). I found that a local MOPS or MOMS club gave me an outlet for hanging out and talking to adults again. My husband was working 5 1/2 days a week so we made sure that when he came home on Saturdays, we had fun family time. On Sundays after church I took a job at Babies R Us (just 6-7 hours of work a week, lol) and that gave me a little time to do my own thing and not be a mom or wife for a few hours, to talk to adults, etc. Later, I got a part time job at a daycare so that I've got my son right there, but I'm working and bringing in a check, too. Perhaps you can get a part time job in your field??? Especially during school hours when 2 of your children will be at school.....you could maybe work just a few hours during the school day while your youngest is in a preschool so you can have the best of both worlds. That's what worked for me, at least.
I go to Tom Thumb or the library to get the latest copy of Suburban Parent (free) and spend 30 minutes going through the whole thing and putting stuff on the calendar of things we'd be interested in doing. Some we make it to, some things we don't. But it gives options on days that you find yourself stir-crazy. I would take my son for a walk in the morning (in his stroller half the time, and I let him out to run around when we get to a playground or park)---this is time that I'm getting some exercise, he's getting out, and we have "chats" about whatever we're seeing or whatever comes to mind. We do this every morning before it gets too hot. Then we have little activities we do on a regular basis, on a semi-schedule so that we're not locked into anything, but we have a basic idea of things to look forward to and things to prepare for. (Like a neat little art project from Family Fun that I'd like us to try, or an outing to an event, or quiet time to read, etc).
As for cleaning, my son just turned 21 months old and he helps me a lot. If you are thinking "this must be done by this time" then life will stink, but if you can remember that you are building a relationship now with your children (if you wait too long for relationship building it won't happen or will be very difficult), then you can laugh at the cute stuff. Doing the laundry, he helps me throw colored clothes vs. whites in stacks, hands me the clothes from whatever stack we're doing to put in the washer, and he will cry if I don't hand him clothes (1 or 2 at a time) from the washer so he can put them in the dryer. When the clothes are dry, he puts the basket down in front of the dryer and puts it all in the basket so I can fold it. When I'm doing a declutter sweep of the house, I give him his pumpkin bucket (trick or treat) and he puts his toys in it and runs to his room to put his toys back in his room (I don't sweat hot wheels and toys in the living room until it's time to get my mess put up too, lol). Something very special about watching a 21 month old running to his room with a bucket of toys and stuffed animals in arms to put away. He loves to push the swiffer around, and of course I let him. I figure that even if it's not a perfect job, he can get some of the dust and stuff! I also give him a swiffer duster because he loves to wipe things. I have had to purposely refrain from fussing at him when I've caught him shaking juice out of his sippy cup so that he can wipe it with a towel....I figure if he likes to clean, I won't discourage that!
I would plan to do the heavy cleaning (toilets, mopping, etc) during naptime. The light easy stuff can be done as a family (at least mom and kids)and have some happy music going while you do it. You can teach the kids to dance, sing, and have fun while they do "blah" tasks. You can talk to them and have them talk back to you. And when the chores are done, you can go out for an icecream or cuddle up and read together. The TV I would discourage, as much as possible, though my son does watch Pinky Dinky Doo and Sesame Street (from 7:30 to 8:15) while I'm making breakfast and packing my husband's lunch. It takes time and creativity, but you'll find your groove. Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

I just have one child and I get that way too.I am part of a play group and I love it.You can go to meetup.com and type in what you are intrested in and your zip code and it will pull up any groups in that area.The playgroup I am part of is the Kangaroo Kiddos but there are a couple of others so look around also the play area at the mall is free, visiting pet store,science spectrum,jumpin jungle,putt putt,swimming,and if you join the lubbock fun club they will email you fun things to do around town for you and the kids.Good luck hope this helps a little.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 children (7,5,3,2). I have 2 suggestions for you. First, include them in the process.
Along the lines of flylady(which I love), we do all the cleaning together. Mondays, we bless the house together and it only takes about 20-30min w/ everyone taking on a job. The 7yr.old vacuums, the 5 yr.old mops, the 3 yr. old cleans the glass and empties the trash cans, and the 2yr. old and I sweep and dust. Everyone takes their sheets off and clean out the magazines and newpapers.

Then Tuesday-Friday, we do the zone cleaning together 10 min. pick-up/declutter, 10min.- go down the cleaning list.

Second, lower your expectations a little. They are only this age once and you will never have this time to spend with them and build relationships with them again. Play board games, pretend, read books, Build tents w/ the sheets on Monday before you wash them. I also do "stations" that I started doing when there were only 3 and I was pregnant w/ the 4th. Make a list of 4 things they enjoy doing but make one of them spending time w/you whether it's reading or playing a game or cooking or just talking. An example of our list would be: Playdoh, Computer, Mommy time, Room Time. It can change each day. Then they choose wich one to start w/ and every 15,20,30 min.(whichever works for you) they switch. Everyone gets time w/you. I found this one-on-one time to be invaluable. And w/3 you will still get a time to yourself.
Hope these help.

Don't look at cleaning as something to do in spite of your children. Look at it as something to do with your children.

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H.G.

answers from Dallas on

Have you ever considered a playgroup? They're free and there is good comraterie (sp??) It's nice having female companionship. I found my playgroup on meetup.com
Once you get out and about, you probably will sleep better. It will also wear the kids out.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have 2 boys (15 mo and 4 yrs). During the day our house does get messy but my kids have fun and that is so important to me. We make cards, paint/do tons of crafts (that get thrown away), cook (my 4 year old LOVES to help do dishes and play in the water), swim, go to the park (yes it's hot...but kids are inside too much these days!). We have friends over ALL the time. The kids love it and if the mom comes then I have a friend to talk to. If the mom doesn't come then I use that time (with my 15 month old around) to mop or dust or clean. It's not immaculate, but it's clean enough to keep my husband happy.

This summer we have also started going thru closets together. We make it a game - my 4 year old gets to sort the stuff by color or person in the family or even by letter. They have helped me 'declutter' - the key is to make it fun. We do this with laundry, dishes, etc. It also has really helped him learn his letters!

Even when I clean the bathroom my kids 'help'. I throw my 15 month old in the bathtub with a little water and a washcloth while my 4 year old 'organizes' my makeup drawer and I get a good 30 minutes to do the hard stuff while we are still in the same room together.

Every night about 5p we have a 'HURRY...Daddy is coming home' massive clean session. We make it a 'race' to see how fast we can get everything picked up. My 4 year old loves it because I run around acting crazy. Even my baby has figured out 'clean up'...not to mention it raises my heart-rate for a few minutes :)

My sister-in-law had the same problem...her hardest obstacle was getting them away from the TV. She negotiated with them. Let's ALL work on organizing the game closet and then we can have 1 hour of TV. Now, she gives them so many projects during the day that they aren't even asking for TV. Hope this helps!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

I've discovered that being a SAHM is just as expensive as full time daycare when you consider activities,electricity,eating out and groceries bills. Your older ones will start school soon so you will primarily be entertaining the 3 yr old soon. Mine are 2 and 6 mos. I hate to clean as well so I have a lady that comes once a week for the deep scrubbing and then I just pick up the rest of the week. So that it doesnt get too expensive, I have her do only certain chores rather than clean the entire house. For example: kitchen area,vaccuming,trash, and bathrooms only. Things like picking up toys,laundry,bed making,etc, I do myself. She comes for about an hour so 25 is all we give her. Its actually very easy for her b/c she just walks over after she's done cleaning our neighbors house which she does for 75.
So you might consider finding something like that for the cleaning issue. Put an ad on craigslist saying something like"seeking cleaning lady in so and so area"- and go on to say that you want someone to just stop by on their way to another job to do just a few chores rather than a full cleaning.
As far as the TV, you can put on educational dvds such as brainy baby(mines favorite is the Meet the ... series). I only know the ones for babies and toddlers so you may have to search amazon online for educational videos for older children.
Joining a free playgroup is great too. And weekly activities such as the Little Gym,ice skating at the mall(for the older ones),story time at Barnes and Noble or your local library,Kindermusic,etc. Take them to run errands with you. Leave the house. Get a slip and slide for your back yard or those fun play sprinklers. The indoor playground at the Galleria tires mine out in about 20 minutes. :)
Get a Wii!
My kids poop me out just as much as I poop them out. Once Ive put them to bed and relax in the bath for "quiet time", I can barely stay up long enough to read one chapter of my latest chick lit novel.

ps- videos for older children!
http://www.amazon.com/All-About-John-Deere-Kids/dp/B00067...

http://www.amazon.com/Scholastic-Video-Collection-27-Bund...

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

S.,

It took me a while to learn that a clean house does not necessarily make a "home", and this comes from the mind of a neat-freak. lol I LOVE to organize and clean- it truly brings me joy- and it used to drive me nuts when everyone else (kids, husband, dog, and cat) would make a mess, but I've prayed and tried and tried for patience, and I think it's finally paying off. lol

I've taught my kids to put things away since they could hold some attention span ;), and my husband has really done TONS better about leaving shoes or something here or there, since we talk and have little pow-wows.

But honestly, don't let it get in the way of you enjoying your life and everything in it. Yes, it's nice to have a nice, clean, neat house, but it's okay that you get your (and the kids' clothes) out of the laundry basket to wear, instead of the closet.

We've begun to adopt the frame of mind that "too much mess means there's too much stuff." It's pushed us to clear out things that we don't need and get it out of our house.

I do love Fly Lady, and it does work. Best wishes!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 4 - almost 5 and we do art activities together.... and I also spend time going through some of these PreK/Kindergarten workbooks I have -- most are on preK/K skills (letters, writing letters, sounds of letters, spelling, shapes, etc) and i have another that is on cutting skills -- he loves that one -- he gets to cut out lots of different shapes (using a safe, Kindergarten scissors) and he practices his hand motor skills -- great for improving handwriting skills.

I often times place newspaper on our entire coffee table (it's a big square) and we break out the watercolors and we paint several pages from a watercoloring book or just on plain construction paper. and we talk about our pieces of art! :-) Fun!

We also go on neighborhood bike rides -- that are more like "i spy" adventures than exercise. so i don't get all bothered if we stop several times to look at bugs or rocks.

enjoy this time!! your kids are only this young once and this time flies by so fast!! Soon, they'll be older and won't want anything to do with mom and dad. I'm savoring every moment of it!!
We are so blessed to be able to stay home with them! Many moms wish they could do this!

also... don't obsess over how clean your house is.... at this season of your life... it's ok if the floor a little bit dirty or you don't vacuum for a few days. let it go. this is life and life is messy -- and it's in those every day moments - just sitting next to your child on the sofa - that you get to see something spectacular or you learn something new about your child.

btw, the workbooks I have I found at Barnes & Noble and Mardels. They are really fun! kids love them!!

sorry -- forgot to mention:
about the sleep issue! I'm not on my feet 8-10 hrs a day either, but I still get a great night's sleep. My guess is that you don't exercise?? Daily exercise (1 hr a day) will help give you energy in the day and tired at night! Join a gym with a childcare room (kids club) -- it's worth it! LA Fitness has memberships that start as cheap as $30/month. Exercise is one of the top most recommended solutions to sleep deprivation (rec'd by sleep therapists) -- they also say to have a wind down time 30 min-1 hr prior to bedtime... no TV, no reading. TV should NOT be in the bedroom! it's too stimulating! sometimes reading keeps our mind going and going -- so don't read directly before bedtime. also, don't eat bedtime snacks -- they give you energy.
I don't know where you live but i take this 5:45 am yoga bootcamp class and it's great! I feel energized for the day and I've done a great workout -- and I'm tired at 10 pm -- definitely by 11 pm i'm in bed!

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

To become organized, you will have to create a daily schedule and break up things to do in the morning and the afternoon. This way you can look at say Monday and know that it is laundry in the morning and vacuuming a bedroom in the afternoon with making dinner. The more you do this the better you become and the house WILL look great. Write me and I will give you pointers. I had this happen to me many years ago when I stopped working and moved from Arizona to Canada. It worked so well that I put dinner in the oven, walked to the park and let the kids play and hubby would pick us up and bring us all home on his way home from work. I know that won't work with your hubby's schedule but it is an idea. Good luck to you. The other S.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

With children the ages yours are, you won't have a organized, neat clean house all the time. The trade off is having the children and enjoying them while they are at this age, before you blink your eyes they will be involved with school activities, friends , etc. and not at home. Have them play outside, and not in front of TV or computer. Go to park, have them help with meals, they have a lot of kid friendly cook books, a nd yes it will be messy, thats how they learn, but it is fun to get in the kitchen and cook together, if you aren't uptight about a little mess. With kids your age, I don't know why you don't think you are on your feet as much as at work (ha) anyway, try going to bed and reading or something relaxing 30 min. earlier, then the next night or two maybe 45 min. earlier until you are in bed by midnight at least, and you'll be ready for the day.
Have fun, I had four, and I wouldn't trade the mess I had for a clean house and not enjoying them for anything.
Also try and find someone you can have a (coffee) break with in t he afternoon that has kids, having a break with another mom was a lifesaver for me to let them play and us visit for a bit and then you're refreshed to get back to task of mom, and wife.

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

Get the kids involved in helping you clean! Try to make games out of it (Who can get their toys where they belong the fastest?) Let them help cook and set the table too! This way-you aren't ignoring them...you are involved with them AND you get some help!

Something else that is good is a cleaning co-op. Get with another friend during the week that has kids that play with your kids and that is also a stay at home mom. While the kids play and have fun, you and your friend clean your house (a thourough cleaning), then your home is more managable the rest of the week. Then you do the same at her house on a different day of the week. You take Manday and your friend takes Thrusday.

Good Luck!

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T.L.

answers from Dallas on

S.....

I so understand where you are coming from. I was a SAHM after baby #3 and #4 and hated it so I went back to work. Then, this past September, I came back home. This time I truly LOVE it. Now, my kids are 5,6,9 and 13 and it's a little easier.

Involve the kids in cleaning, especially their rooms. Of course, they won't be perfect like you would do it but it gets them in the habit of doing it. My 5 and 6 year olds make their own beds, clean their room, put away their shoes, their dirty clothes and they each have a cubby in their closet for their "special" things.

The kids play all day off and on....but I don't allow SEVERAL toys in the living room. They mostly play in their rooms and hall.

During the week, we go to the library at least 3 times, we go to the free movie twice a week, we go to the park and we go swimming. We watch family movies together on the TV. When they get out of hand, we have "rest" time and usually the 5 and 6 year olds will fall asleep.

I wash clothes at least 3 times a week b/c it's 6 of us. I try to get it all done during the week because I hate laundry on the weekend. So, generally M W F. The key is to fold and hang up right out of the dryer. If they sit for too long, it becomes days. And fold and put up standing instead of sitting.

When cooking, I let the kids watch a learning show / video so I can get it done. While they are eating, clean as much of the kitchen as you can.

When school starts, it will get MUCH better. Do all you can while they are in school. And you'll have one at home with you part of the day so that should be fairly easy.

If you have any questions offline, contact me PM anytime. I'm full of suggestions that I've found to work well. It's just too much to write.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

One of the things we like to do is go to the library. Our library (and all the ones I've ever encountered) have reading programs and story time, sometimes a craft time - things like that. The kids can find books that they are interested in then take them home and read them. You can find books in the children's non-fiction section that have fun activities - simple science project type things - that you can take home and look through the books with your kids and learn about the thing (say, a volcano) and then do a little science project/experiment with them related to it (like make a homemade volcano.) It can be a little messy sometimes, but the kids love it and it can be educational too. You already have lots of other good ideas too, so I won't go into anything else.

As far as keeping your house clean goes, I have a theory on that. Kids are only small once, so enjoy your time with them. Have them help you clean, but don't stress over it. When I was 8 I could cook a simple dinner on my own (mac'n'cheese usually, or something on that level) and I could do the dishes, clean the bathroom, pickup and vacuum the living room and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Now, granted I'm sure I didn't do a terrific job, but I did a lot to help around the house (my mom was pregnant with #5 at the time, and I had to help a lot). That being said, my kids both help with the laundry and my 3 yr old (almost 4) helps with the dishes, loves to "vaccuum" (more like push the vac. over random areas of carpet, but he's learning) and is learning to help clean his bathroom, and of course, he picks up his toys or else they get taken away. He also tries to help cook as much as he can.

Good luck

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S.K.

answers from Lubbock on

S.,
It sounds like you are really dreading staying at home but I think with a little organization you will eventually love it. As far as the cleaning goes, while your kids are in school is the time to clean. Make you a chart and clean something each day, if your wash a load or two of clothes each day while doing something else....like cleaning the bathroom...it won't be an overwhelming chore.
I don't know where you live but I have a small home daycare and we do an activity every morning(outside my home). It may be just going to the park. We have lots and lots of parks to chose from and they are all free. The libraries all have storytime and in the summer have lots of free things...just this week there was a magic show(the kids loved it). I have had swimming passes(not this year all my kids are small) but we do have a large wading pool in the back yard. We have lots of museums and my kids love going to these and they are all FREE. But I think it is not what you do it is the factr you are spending time with your children and they will remember this. Oh yeah, I have a pass to the Science Spectrum(which has a big playroom) and we go there when the weather is bad or hot and just hang out and it has lots of neat stuff to do. I hope this has given you some tips and I wish you luck and happiness with your wonderful children.

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

You'll just have to learn to let the house go a bit. My house is picked up but rarely spotless. Spending time with my son is more important. Get your kids involved with helping. Let them help with the laundry, dusting, etc. They may not do it perfectly, but at least they are helping.

One thing I've found myself doing is just turning the tv off. I don't have it on all day except in the morning to listen to the news. It's really helped with my son's attention span & the electricity bill.

My son & I are out and about all the time. We go to Going Bonkers, bounce houses (Pump It Up, Bounce World, etc.), mall playground, parks, zoo, & other places like that. We also go to lunch with some of his friends at Chick-fil-a once a week in order to play on the play equipment.

I've also had my son in gym classes at Win Kids since he was a baby. He takes classes about 3 days a week. He loves it!!

I've also gotten a bunch of cheap games at Wal Mart that we play regularly as a family, & we also play the Wii during these unbearably hot afternoons.

If you have the kind of schedule we do, then you'll be itching to fall asleep by 9:00 every night like me. :) Just remember why you're staying home...for the kids.

I have a friend who's a nurse with 3 kids all under 3. She is my play partner & does all this stuff with me...even the classes at Win Kids. She still works 1 night a week while her husband watches the kids. So it is possible to do this! Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,

You have gotten alot of advice, so I'll keep it short. It's probably too late for this summer, but this fall would be a great time to look into getting your two oldest involved in scouting. There is always something for them to do and usually during the summer, they can attend daycamps or actually go to camp. My girls did this when they were growing up and they loved it. Plus, Scouting teaches all kinds of good qualities, from responsibilty to taking care of our environment!

If you live close to Mansfield, look into their activities center or the YMCA on Cooper would probably have lots of things to do! Good luck and don't worry too much about that house, even though I know how you feel, about it driving you crazy...but if you invest a little time to teach them to help you now, maybe it'll pay off when they are teenagers!! :)
D. G.

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