Questions About Breastfeeding

She is way tooo young to be crying it out... it just wont work for her. Also, if she is tired, let her nap. Babies dont have schedules at this age. I dont know how close you live to GBMC (in Towson) but there is a Mom's Group called Mother to Mother every Tuesday morning from 10ish to 2ish (I say ish because people are in and out the whole time) It is run by a lactation consultant named DeeDee and she is AWESOME!!! There is free valet parking and you just go to the lactation station and they will lead you to the room where it is held. You can ask any questions about ANYTHINg and commiserate with other moms who are going through the same thing.

I just wanted to suggest a book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. She talks about all of the things mentioned and has a very loving, but logical view of things. She also does not advocate letting a baby cry it out, but also doesn't think it's such a good idea to hold them until they fall asleep (then they don't learn to put themselves to sleep). She offers very straight forward suggestions. Anyway, if you're looking for a "manual" it's really helpful and doesn't take long to read. Good luck. One way or another you'll work it out and everything will be fine.

Hi J.,

Good for you for hanging in there with the breastfeeding. I too, breastfeed my little girl who is now 5 months old. I breastfed my other daughter too, who is now 3. My 5 month old only feeds for maybe 10-15 min. and is completely full, most of the time. However, I can tell by the evening, I am not producing enough to fill her, so I supplement with one bottle of formula a day. We are up to 6 oz. a day now. It is not abnormal for a child to eat for that length of time, in fact, she may be getting more milk than you think and very fast; especially since you are beginning to leak right before she is ready to eat. That usually means that you are engorged and she will fill up quickly. Leaking is totall normal. Your breasts get on a feeding schedule, so when you get close to feeding or even miss a feeding your breasts will fill up as though they are ready to let down. I still leak because my daughter's sleep cycle changes so often. During growth spurts, she may eat more as well. If she seems content for 2 hours, count your blessings because not all breastfed babies go for that stretch of time. My older daughter ate nearly every 1 1/2 hours and didn't sleep through the night until she was 7 months old. I do find that supplementing at night helps the baby to sleep at longer stretches and now she is sleeping through the night.

As for letting her cry it out at 3 weeks of age, I personally don't think that is a good idea. Don't get me wrong, I use that method now with my 5 month old when I know that all her needs have been met, but at 3 weeks of age, they need that bonding time with you. I'm sorry if your not getting sleep because she wants to be up with you for 2 hours, but just know that it won't last forever. I actually cherish that time because all is quiet in the house and it is just "our time." You will miss those times as the baby gets older. I don't really have any advice about it, except to bond as much as possible when you have those quiet moments together, especially skin on skin contact.

I hope all of this helps you. And I hear you on the manual, it sure would make this process so much easier.

Take care & God bless,
D.

Hi J.

DONT BE ALARMED!!All that you just said is normal. As long as your baby is gaining weight she's fine. The better she latches on and gets use to feeding, the less time it actually takes for her to eat. 15 mins. is average. She's probably eating more than she was before and thats probably the reason for you leaking before its time to feed her. It could also be your milk coming down which will also cause leaking. It may also have to do with how much you drink. I've heard the more hydrated you are, the fuller your breasts may feel.

As far as her sleeping at night, she's on her own schedule which is backwards for us so the best thing to do for now is just get sleep when she sleeps but don't worry, she will change her sleeping pattern and will be up more during the day and sleep at night.

I'm sure your being a great mommy!! I hope my advice helped. Take care!

I am a stay at home mom of 2 girls 19mos and 3mos.

My daughter had her days and nights mixed up, too. In the day time I opened all of the blinds in the house and turned all of the lights on. I kept her in front of the window during the day and after about 9 or 10 days she started sleeping about 3.5 hours at a time at night. Breast fed babies do not sleep as long at night. She will start to sleep longer as she gets older. My daughter also would not sleep well at night if she did not sleep well in the day time. I think she would be over tired and that made sleeping harder for her at night. She's still like that if she doesn't get her nap! She also had to have her diaper changed if she was wet-even a drop, or she wouldn't sleep. My mom says I was the same way. You can learn how to change her with minimal disturbance so as not to wake her up. If she gets up at night it helps to keep the lights off and maybe just rock her or sing to her. We had a night light in her room, so I didn't have to turn on the lights. I wish there had been a book about my daughter, but the thing about babies is they are all different. I know it may be hard right now, but as she grows and you learn what works for her you will be so amazed! It sounds like everyone else has breast feeding covered. I truly hope this helps. The best advice that I had for my daughter was to trust my instincts about her. Good luck!

hi, i am a first time mom to a 2 month old boy and i had lots of concerns when i first started breastfeeding too. according to what i've read the hindmilk comes in after 10 min. of feeding, so sounds like you are fine there. do you swaddle your baby for sleeping? i did mine at first, then stopped and started again recently as i realized he must feel cozy as he fell right to sleep like that. he still gets up 3-4 times a night to feed, but goes back to sleep after. i'm not second guessing when you said she wasn't gassy when she wakes at night, but i also figured out that sometimes you have to burp for a long time & switch burping positions. i highly reccomend a la leche book (they are online too) for breastfeeding concerns and "what to expect when you are expecting" first year for tons of useful supportive info. i think you'll see your baby will eat more and get into more of a routine in weeks to come. remember, it's a whole new world for her to adapt to. good luck!!-T.

J.-
Learning to breastfeed is not as easy as one would think. There are so many things to worry about. You are right for asking advice to in order to continue breastfeeding your daughter with as little worry as possible.

The best advice for you right now is: Call a local lactation consultant. Get a professional involved as soon as you have a breastfeeding concern!

Three week olds are notorious for growth spurts. This could be a simple, reasonable explaination, but please get it checked out face to face. You will feel so much more confident.

A great book is the Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins.

Also--A three week old cries out of necessity. She needs something. By resonding to her calmlywhen she cries, you are teaching her that you will be there. She will learn to trust.

You sound like you are doing a great job as a new mom--keep it up! :)

Good luck & Call that consultant!:)
A.

She's only 3 weeks old. It takes time to adjust to the outside world. That includes day and night. Make night time as dull as possible. Don't turn on the lights, but do tend to her. Three weeks is far too young to let a baby cry by herself. You can't spoil a child with love. It is a basic need.

If she wants to be held, then hold her. If you need free hands, try a sling or a wrap. That way she can feel secure next to you.

As for the foremilk/hindmilk thing, most of the time you can tell by the diapers. I've heard a lot of people talk about green poops when there's an imbalance. Make sure to feed from one breast only until she pulls away, then offer the other. I see that you're in Va Beach. We have an awesome LLL here. Try giving them a call and double checking things with them. They're always happy to help. If you can wait, there's a meeting Nov 15 I believe. It's the 3rd Thursday every month. If you'd like to know more about it, send me a message.

As for the leaking, it's possible that she just ended her growth spurt. She's probably not really eating less, just a bit more efficiently. If you're worried about her not getting enough, offer the breast more. If she's not hungry, she won't take it.

3 weeks is a time for a growth spurt. She will want to feed more frequently to help you build your supply so you'll make more faster at feedings later. This pace of feeding should go away in about 3-4 days, and then go back to normal. Just feed the baby when she's hungry and don't watch the clock so much. My daughter got so good at draining the breast, she would be done very quickly and be satisfied. The leaking is also normal. Increase time between feeds so you're not leaking as much. This too is normal when going through a growth spurt. Your body will regulate things in a few days.

It sounds like you're doing a great job! Hang in there.

A.

As babies get older they may not need to feed as long. Try keeping her on one breast for as long as possible so she can get the hindmilk - really there is no way of knowing for sure weather she is getting it or not but its worth a try. Everything you stated seems normal stuff. As far as her waking up at night. My son did that, it is really frustrating. In the middle of the night all you want to do is sleep. Just keep the lights low, don't stimulate her in anyway, don't talk to her, don't change her diaper (unless its poop of course) she will eventually get it. As far as your breast leaking, you are probably just producing more milk now. I hope it helps. Good luck. Just remember she will eventually sleep through the night and be much more independent. Until then just cherish the moments.

I know letting a baby cry it out is a controversial topic, and I first want to say that I am not against that but 3 weeks is way too early. If she is crying she needs something, even if it is just the comfort of being held. Crying is the only way a baby has of communicating their needs to you.

Breastfed babies do eat more often than formula fed babies. And it is highly unlikely for a baby at that age to sleep more than 3-4 hours at a time. It is possible that if you are waking her up throughout the day, she is getting over-tired. Being over-tired makes sleeping difficult for infants, just as it does for adults.

I don't know what to tell you about the milk issue except to ask if you have tried pumping? After she has had enough to eat, try pumping until you feel your breast is empty. You then will also have milk saved up so someone else can share feedings while you take a much needed nap, bath or just time to yourself.

Is she sleeping in your room? If so, try keeping her near you to where you can reach in and let her be reassured that you are there when she wakes. Being in her own room this young may be scary and lonely.

first of all, check how many wet diapers you have to change in a 24 hour period; if you change 6-8 soaked cloth diapers or 5-6 disposables per day, the baby is likely well-fed. a newborn (up to 6-8 weeks) will also have frequent (2-5 per day) dirty diapers. check your baby's frequency of nursing---newborns nurse every 2-3 hours, generally, although this will vary through the weeks and will be more frequent during growth spurts. check your baby's weight gain; not how much she weighs necessarily, but simply that she is growing and staying plump. newborns need not be super-fat, but they should look healthy and "filled-out". is she alert when awake? newborns sleep a lot during the day, but it may be intermittent and have no set pattern. this is normal. waking at night and wanting to be held is also quite normal. babies expect and NEED, both physically and mentally, LOTS of human contact. they do not distinguish between hunger for milk and hunger for love, because both needs must be met for normal growth and development. if your intuition tells you that she is not nursing long enough at a time or effectively, try keeping her on you in a sling or front-pack during the day, and offer her nursing whenever your breasts feel really full or you are leaking. (leaking is normal and varies a lot, especially as your milk supply adjusts up & down for baby's growth needs.)encourage her to nurse for a while by settling in with her and continuing to keep her at the breast. i assume that you are not supplementing with formula or water bottles...any type of supplemental feeding can disrupt a baby's nursing. try sleeping with your baby through the night, or from the time when she first wakes at night. it makes nursing much easier and helps the baby feel safe and happy. finally, remember that newborns go through a long period of adjustment---some do have a "sleepy" phase around this time, or get their days and nights rather mixed up. trust your body, your baby, and your own intuition. keep nursing, or offering the breast. encourage her to nurse on both sides at most feedings. everything you have described falls within the spectrum of normal newborn behavior. if you still have worries, go to your local la leche league group for support---they are excellent, far better than most pediatricians and parenting magazines or books. my daughter was exactly like what you describe, and she is a perfectly healthy girl now. i nursed her for years and wouldn't trade the experience for anything. feel free to message me with any questions...

J. - I am with everyone else - don't let her "cry-it-out" she's way too young. My suggestions would be to pump the excess (it's nice to have an extra supply) and don't wake her during the day. Don't ever wake a sleeping baby. Even during the day. I read something yesterday that I loved, "sleep begets sleep" and oh is that true! If she's only sleeping for a few hours at night, it may be because she's only sleeping for a few hours a day. Babies of 3 weeks need A LOT of sleep. Check the books, but from what I can remember it's around 18 - 20 hours a day. Good luck!!!
PS - I wish there was a manual too!!!! But that's why we're all here.

She is only 3 weeks old. You have to give it some time. She is probably getting an adequate amount of milk but if you want to double-check, weigh her. Usually, your pediatrician will let you come in to weigh the baby if you want to use a more precise scale. As long as she is gaining weight, she should be fine. None of my children really got on a decent sleeping schedule until at least 6-8 weeks. And then they would only give me 4-5 hours a night. I would pick her up, hold her and do whatever necessary to comfort her at this point. She needs that. Sleep will come.

J., first thing...relax. :-) Everything your experiencing sounds normal. I have a 4 month old son who is breastfeed also. I read a lot of books and talked to numerous friends/family who are nursing or have nursed their children. First, my breast still leak a lot around the time that my son eats or if he has missed a meal, they will leak. Its normal. For most women, we will produce more milk than our baby needs. Your body will eventually adjust to how much milk she needs and you probably wont leak as much. Second, try drinking a cup or two of chamomile tea around 6pmish. Its great for her gas and also might help her sleep better. You can even put a drop of tea in her mouth (obviously cool tea not hot) using a medicine dropper. Its like a natural gas drop. It has a relaxing effect and she will get some of it during her feeding. But if all else fails, hold her and dont let her cry herself to sleep. She is too young for that. ALso, try swaddling her when you put her down. She clearly is still looking for a snuggly fit that closely resembles the womb. Lastly, if she is producing 5-6 wet diapers and roughly 3-4 bowel movement diapers a day then she is probably getting enough to eat. When you go for your 4 week appoinment, if she has not gained enough weight then your pediatrician will likely recommend that you bottle feed or supplement with formula. Either way, she will be fine!

Best of luck,

S.

Congratulations on your new little girl! Babies at this age tend to have their days and nights mixed up. During the day you can keep things brighter, at night keep it as dark as you can and speak softly only when you have to. Don't let her cry it out, it won't work for her at this age. There really isn't any schedule to follow with a newborn, that comes later. What I did for my second child that worked for me (and it won't work for all) was I kept him in my room for the first few months. When he needed me, I'd just pull him over to me to feed/cuddle/whatever and I could catch some rest while I was taking care of him, then put him back in his bassinet afterwards. I never spoke to him unless I had to calm him down and I rarely had on more than a night light. It was so much easier than with #1 when I would be up to her room over and over each night. The other thing I found with him is that sleep begets sleep. The more he slept during the day, the better he slept at night. Every baby is different and this won't last. There is a Mothering Matters group in Towson run by St Joseph's every thursday at 1030 that helped me out at that stage.

Hi
Three weeks old is still brand new to the world. Please don't let her cry anything out. She still has several weeks until she starts to even sort out day and night confusion. Your job right now is to foster trust and bond with your baby. The way you do this is by being immediately responsive to her needs - no letting her cry this young. When she cries, feed her, hold her, rock her, change her diaper, etc... If she still cries and only is comforted by holding her, than you or your partner may need to be up for 2 or more hours at night holding, rocking, and being with you baby. You should invest in the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" as well as The Baby Book by William Sears.

Regarding Breastfeeding - you should connect with a lactatiaon consultant who can observe your breastfeeding and see if the sessions seem long enough. 15 minutes might be long enought at this age. The hospital where she was born might also be able to do pre-feeding and post-feeding weights to see how many ounces she is getting per feeding session. Don't give up, keep feeding on demand (whenever she cries - i.e. no scheduling her feeds), let her set the pace for know. You may also look into finding a la leche league meeting in your area.

Best of luck
T.

Babies eating and sleeping habbits will change. If your baby is falling asleep while feeding it's because she's extremely comfortable and you may want to try switching breasts during feeding more often so that she can't fall asleep. I don't know anything about foremilk and hindmilk to be honest with you. If she's waking up during the night and not wanting to go back to sleep something that may help is whatever blanket you wrap her up in at night, sleep with it for a couple of nights so that it smells like you. She may be able to sense that you're not as close by and this helped out with my son alot. It may take the place a bit of you holding her. I'm not a fan of the "letting babies cry themselves to sleep" either. I don't feel like they are old enough for that to work at three weeks old. It's perfectly normal for your breasts to leak. Mine used to randomly from the time my baby started breast feeding, so I'm surprised yours are just starting! Mine used to leak all the time and whenver other babies cried! Honestly your breasts leaking shouldn't cause her to eat less. Probably what's happening is you're producing more milk to accommodate her eating, she's eating more quickly and in turn it seems like she's eating less. Everything sounds normal, but I can understand why you're worried!! As long as she's gaining weight and looks healthy I'm sure she's perfect!!

I never heard of the 2 different types of milk that you are talking about. But I do know that sometime it has something to do with what you are eating. Check what your diet consiste of and see it that has anything to do with why she is eating less. If you are eating heavy food that is low in that she needs she that could be a reason why.

It could also be that she has a small stomach. My daughter eat every three hour like clock work. I was so glad when she got about 2-3 months so I could add cereal to take up some of the slack cause I was in a lot of pain. But she would sleep for 2 - 2 1/2 hours then eat and 3 hours later it would start all over again. Some nights I would sleep with her on the couch so when she woke up I could just start feeding her and didn't have to get up. My son would just eat for like 30 - 35 mins and sleep for 4-5 hours. So it depends on how much your childs stomach can consume and then how quickly it goes through her.

Her sleep: that's normal. Keep in mind for 9 months she was in the dark do she developed her own pattern. She is only a few weeks, it take months to train a baby to sleep through the night. When she transistions to cereal she will start sleeping a little longer because of the heaviness of it. Just like when you eat pizza with all the toppings.

As far as the leaking, that is normal. Expecially if she is eatting less. Your breast are use to producing a certin amount of milk so the size of the milk pocket has grown to accomadate that. Buy her eating less your breast still have milk left in them when the "refill" begins causing the over flow/leakage. Don't worry just go to RiteAid, Walgreen, or CVS and get the pads that you put in your bra to collect the liquid. If her pattern continues the production of milk will slow down. And a few months after you stop all together the production will stop... all most stop :)

Hope this helps.

P..

Wow. You really need to read Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child. First of all, a three week old breastfed baby is only going to sleep a couple hours at a time anyway. From 3 weeks to 6 weeks you will notice a great period of alertness you havent' seen before. this is hormonal. By all means, LET your baby sleep when it needs to. That is one of the biggest misconceptions that the more you keep them up the longer they sleep. NOT AT ALL THE CASE. Sleep deprivation in a child of that age will raise cortisol levels (stress hormone) thus making her get LESS sleep. So, it is very natural for what your child is doing right now with being more alert. Let the baby sleep though during the day. The average child that age needs about 16 hours of sleep a day!!! In fact, she will only start to have scheduled naptimes at about 3 months old. The hardest time to get through is 3-12 weeks. The alertness will get worse and peak around 6 weeks, then it will gradually subside. Most babies will be sleeping much better at 3 months. At this stage, you should not be letting her cry. This is a really hard time for you and the baby at this stage, and this book really recommends doing whatever pleases your baby til you get to the 3 month mark. They are not "working" you at this stage, so letting her cry may just end up setting you up for failure. It is NOT a good idea til she has reached that 3 month time frame. It is very important for her to learn to trust you.

As far as breastfeeding, make sure you are keeping her on one side (right or left) as long as possible (at least 15 minutes) to make sure she is getting hindmilk. Usually, if they are getting only foremilk, they will be on you every 45 minutes or so, they will be very gassy, and their poop is a greenish cast. To make it simple, keep her on one side at least 15 minutes. Try to stimulate her if she is dozing by rubbing her back, toes, chin, or cheek. If she wants to sleep beyond this, just let her. Don't go to extremes to keep her up.

It is very normal at this stage for you to leak just before the feeding, particulary if she is starting to get fussy. The body will produce the milk even just with her crying. (It is a psychology thing called classical conditioning) Chances are you are producing enough milk. If she is going to the bathroom several times a day, you are fine. I think around this time my son was going number two almost every time he ate, and he always had a pee pee diaper. Not all kids are this way, and it changes the further along you get. A really good resource is the La Leche book, The Womanly Art of breastfeeding. I looked at that a lot til my son was about 6 months. You have to take some of it with a grain of salt, they are really preachy about breastfeeding and it turns some women off. Just use it as a guide about what you should expect at each stage.

In addition, you will notice as the baby gets older she will get far more efficient and empty the breast faster. So meal times will decrease. Do you have a lactation consultant at your pediatricians office? They are wonderful!

You have gotten lots of good advice from those who have already posted so I won't reiterate their points. Just wanted to say that I think you are doing great - especially to be asking for advice when you aren't sure what to do. The truth is that none of us has all the answers and this is exactly what this site should be for!
I have breastfed two children and it wasn't easy for me either time. I worried about weight gains and milk supply and what was normal and what was not. My youngest didn't sleep through the night and continued to feed every two hours until she was seven months old! The sleep deprivation is definitely a shock to the system especially when your own body is still trying to recover from childbirth - a traumatic physical experience in and of itself! But you will get used to it and it will eventually pass.
(If you and your daughter can master the side-lying nursing position when she's a little older, you will be able to doze a little bit while she nurses during the night. I say when she's older simply because we didn't even try it at night until my daughter was bigger so that she could better control her own body and keep herself on her side and so that I would not worry so much about falling asleep and rolling onto her. At three weeks old, babies are still sooo tiny!)
Trust your instincts and just love your baby as much as you possibly can. It sounds cliche but it's true that they grow up so fast that before you know it, her first birthday will be here and you will miss those newborn days so much!
Hang in there and God bless you! :-)

Great responses- just to add my .02 quickly:
1) I remember that around this time, my daughter started to speed up her nursing and was told that as long as my daughter nursed for 10 minutes or longer (on one breast), she was getting to that "hindmilk" just fine.
2) I (like other folks) really like Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for its description of the sleep/wake patterns (or lack of patterns) of babies. It helped reassure me that nothing was "wrong." Good luck!!!

J.-
For the first 3 months it is hard to "spoil" your daughter by picking her up everytime she cries. These first few months are crucial to your daughter bonding to you and it helps when you respond to her needs. For the first several weeks, my daughter slept on my chest or next to me in her bassinet. It did not make it harder later when I moved her to her crib.

Also, my daughter was what I called a "snacker". She feed every two hours for about 15 minutes for the first few months. If your daughter fed longer than that before, the leaking is from your over supply. It takes your body 1-2 days to catch up with your daughters needs. You can wait it out or pump which will keep your supply up. Your daughter is eating just enough for her. Also, the "before milk" is only for the first few days after you give birth. After three weeks, you are producing the "after milk". Hang in there, you are almost to the point where it gets really easy (nursing,that is). You'll be an expert before you know it. Good luck!

J.

You are obviously flooded with good advice, so I won't bother to tell you all my stories. I just want to say that I am proud of you for doing everything you can to take care of your little one. Hang in there - eventually you will get used to the sleep deprivation, and then eventually she will sleep through the night and you will wake up in a panic wondering what happened.

Rest when you can!
S.

One way to know if there is a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance is if bebe is having green stools. Typically this isn't a problem though just from "short" feedings. Your baby is up at night b/c she doesn't know that it's night and she doesn't know that night is for sleeping. She's hungry every 2 hours b/c breastmilk digests in about 90 minutes. Try feeding her more often, at least offering, in the evening before you'd like her to sleep for a longer strecth to maybe "tank" her up so she'll sleep a little longer. Really, that's a thing you'll just need to wait for. She's still a pretty new little one. The leaking is pretty normal right now b/c your body is adjusting to meet her needs.

The website http://www.kellymom.com/ is a great source of information as well as http://www.mother-2-mother.com/

Good job feeding your baby Mommy!