PTSD Help

My father, Vietnam. My mom says that even today it's not unusual for him to have nightmares. It can get better, but I don't think it ever goes away. For my dad, talking to my mom helped him. Having someone to just listen and understand and not judge. My mom retired from the Air Force (he was Air Force as well) shortly after they married (to avoid being deployed to different locations). She may not have seen combat, but she understood the military mindset.

He needs to seek help and needs to keep seeking it until he finds something that works for him, he is not alone. Really, so many have come back damaged beyond what can be seen. For some Vets it's people therapy (support groups), some get therapy pets, some need medication, some need to revisit the location of their trauma while civilians. There are options.

Elaborating on the post that says if someone doesn't want the help then move on for your own sake, please don't do that. People may logically(sometimes)understand they need help but being emotionally and psychologically able to ask for and/or accept the help is an entirely different thing. Please do not ever give up on this person.

I am speaking as someone who has PTSD.

My friend with PTSD has a service dog, who was thoroughly trained to respond to the slightest reaction to stress, before the friend even, and helped provide comfort at those times. Very, very helpful.

Have you checked out something called mindful meditation? I watched a documentary on returning military where they used this technique and it was a lot of work but seemed to help a lot.

My brother was one of the first ones to go in with the Army at Desert Storm.

He is messed up. Granted.. he was never 100% in my book from growing up with him... no motivation, con artist, no interest in school or doing better for himself and family but wants to live like a king. Things don't work that way in the real world.

A couple of years ago, he went off to an inpatient program in GA for 6 weeks. I can't tell you if he is better or not. He did end up getting a companion dog that goes everywhere with him.

He does not look sick, I know he is as lazy as they come, I do know and respect that he went through a huge ordeal therefore I don't know everything. I base my info on how he was growing up and how he pretty much is the same way to me.

I know I sound very harsh toward him but if you grow up with someone who you know is a con artist, then I can't help but think he is taking advantage of the government as well. When my dad could not afford his diabetic meds, my brother gave him a whole scenario of how he could trick the government into getting it free. So, that says a lot.... NO, my dad said he was not going to con anybody for anything.

Seek counseling for yourself. Get some answers for you like the 12 steps or Alnon (sp). This will give you more insight into the world of your spouse.

The tough love approach will not end in a good result. Make sure all firearms and such are out of the house. If he is still in seek help for the military or go to a VA clinic and ask. I know that he has got to want the help. Do seek out others that have this issue so that he can possibly talk to them.

There has got to be a light at the end of the tunnel that is pleasant. Just hang in there a bit longer. Ask for help so that you can get away and rest as you are the caregiver. Don't get lost in the the situation.

Many big hugs to you and yours. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

the other S.

PS I don't know if you can do a 72 hour psychological commitment or not if he wont' comply. It may be the only way to help him get a grip.

Keep us posted.

I have a colleague who is a Vietnam vet, who came home with PTSD, cancer, agent orange poisoning, and host of other conditions. He had the nightmares and the rages, the headaches and the other stress conditions.

Have you been reading anything about epigenetics? It is an emerging and highly promising science that has shown the effects of severe stress and trauma on the actual functioning of our genes. That is, while it doesn't change the DNA of course, it actually changes the switching in many of the cells so that they don't function properly. This has massive implications for many autoimmune diseases as well as those who have suffered trauma. In fact, those epigenetic changes can be passed on to the person's children. There have been many studies - here's just one on the offspring of Holocaust survivors. http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/descendants-of-...

So if trauma can affect the way the cells function in children, imagine what it can do to those who actually experienced the sights, sounds, fears and legacy of combat.

My friend got tremendous results by working with epigenetic super foods and cellular nutrition to repair/reverse the epigenetic damage. He is got of all his medications (I think there were 19) prescribed at the VA. While he's not entirely "free" of those memories, and he still sits in the chair against a wall in a restaurant (as many vets do), he has his life back. He's a vibrant and cheerful person, active and healthy, cancer-free and headache-free.

I honestly don't see how tough love will make any positive impact. This is a significant mental health issue. Probably the best thing is for him to connect with other vets who have worked their way out of this hole with good support and perhaps a different nutritional approach. It's more than "eat healthy" but food science and encouragement/networking can help a lot. But I don't think it's within your power to make it happen without outside help.

Please Google 'support group for ptsd spouses' and find a group near you.

Back in the day they used to recommend EMDR therapy for PTSD.

Unsure of the results for combat PTSD, but it's worth a google.

That and LOTS of patience.

I hope you have a good support network for yourself too.
If this is a spouse, know that you can start to see the therapist without the person and these appointments will be on supporting you and ways to get the person in treatment.

Good luck

((hugs))

I have no advice, having no experience at all with this. I just want to tell you that I feel for you and hope so much that things get better. Make sure that you take care of yourself - it's easy to lose that when you're trying so hard with a loved one.

Hugs, mom...

If s/he won't accept help. you can do nothing. Walk away for the sake of your own sanity and safety.

ETA: It's not a matter of "tough love." I have a loved one with PTSD. Until SHE decided that SHE needed help, it would do no good for me to make appointments, or to drag her to them. SHE wasn't ready to accept it.
I had to back away and let her figure out that she needed help. In her case, she figured it out when she attempted suicide, and while trying to slit her wrists, realized that she wanted to live and called me.

I agree with getting a service dog trained for PTSD. If it's that severe, I think it would more than be worth the cost.

be there and encourage them to keep the appts and go to them. hold their hand and drag them if need be. make sure they know how much you love and care about them and that you want whats best for them and those that love them.

Hello
One thing to do is to have a sleep study done! Please ask the doctors as well. Hoping all goes well. Good luck and don't give up!