Preschool Woes

Did you talk to the teacher about your child being scratched? It's appreciated if you follow protocol.... teacher first, director second if teacher couldnt satisfy you. Let them know you need more communication from them.... if you havent required it in the past they probably think you are fine with the way things are. Tell them that you want a report every day when you pick up your child if that's what you want, I'm sure they will do it as long as they can keep their eye on the other kids at the same time they are telling you how your childs day went. It's stressful to leave your kids in daycare all day, it makes you tense and nervous. Don't let that get the best of you.

It does not matter how much money you pay. if you are not happy then you are not happy. They do not know what good customer service is. Basically,it is like when you go to a restaurant or go somewhere like when you buy glasses. When you are spending a lot of money then you want to be treated like the money you are spending is important and that the place of business treats you like a valuable customer. If they are not providing the service you like and lack in communication then you need to take him elsewhere. If they ask you why you are taking him out then you need to tell them every thing you have stated here on mommasource. Good luck

Hi, W.:

Call the school and set up an appointment with the Director.
Have your goal in mind in what you want to accomplish.
Have all your documentation that ;proves your point of view.

Negotiate what it is you want and what they are able to give.

If the negotiation does not go well, give her notice when your child will be removed from her care.

Tell your child in simple terms what is happening.
Good luck.
D.

Hi W.,

I hear a lot of frustration in your post. I think, if you are finished with the preschool, that's fine, and as preschool teacher/owner myself, I wanted to give you a little insight to take to your son's next preschool. Some of this is informed by my work privately and some are observations from my years at larger preschools/daycares.

First, while parent/teacher communication is important, there have to be some understandings. One understanding I have with parents-- and I even have this in my handbook-- is that I will never discuss the children in front of the children. At pickup, my communication with parents is very cursory at best, just those quick "busy day today... she was happy because we had the big easel out"-- this sort of thing. I will send home a note if something important has happened, and if the child is hurt, an accident report will be sent home to be signed and returned. (This is both for parent information as well as my insurance records.) Overall, though, my families know that if they have anything other than a brief 'how was their day' question, they should give me a call later on.

You don't mention why you contacted the director regarding your son being scratched, however, this is something that's usually addressed to the teacher first. Directors are extremely busy, so unless there's an ongoing problem which is not being resolved, I always suggest discussing it with the teacher first, and then a note in writing to the director, asking for fifteen minutes or so of their time or a phone conference. (Please know, I am not excusing the person you are upset with, but just sharing my experience.)

My preschool currently is a small group of children, however, when I had a group of 8 toddlers, there was no way I could attend to my group and have concentrated conversations with parents. Next to drop-offs in the morning, pickup time is a huge transition for our groups. My primary job as a teacher is to be tending to the children who are present and need my help and support. From my experience, having a parent try to discuss something in-depth when I have a room full of tired kids who want to go home is a lose/lose situation for everyone. It's one of the most demanding times of day, and I would often ask parents politely "I'd be happy to discuss this later. Give me a call" or "It sounds like we should schedule a half-hour for a phone conference".

Also understand, too, that from the perspective of child educators, it's bad form to discuss the children in front of the children. We know that kids are listening, and sometimes these discussions have the potential to hurt the child's self esteem or to cause them anxiety. I've been approached by well-meaning parents with some topics that were not appropriate (from my professional point of view) to be discussed in the presence of the child or their classmates, who also absorb this sort of information and make their own judgments about the child in question. This is to respect ALL of the children in my care. And I can't discuss any another child's challenges with you, either, so if Bobby hits Suzy, all I can tell Suzy's family is that she was hit, what sort of first aid, comfort, and follow-through I provided. I can't tell them that it was Bobby, or what Suzy and Bobby's relationship dynamic with each other is, nor what sort of communication/plan is being made to help Bobby stop hitting. All I can tell Suzy's family is what is pertinent to their little girl in particular. As a teacher who is held professionally to confidentiality in these matters, I have limits on what I can share with each family and have to use my own good judgment in assuring that all the families are equally respected.

Me, personally, I never have parents email me. When we are in the midst of problem-solving, lots of emotions can arise and I need to see a parent's face or hear their tone of voice, and they need the same from me. Even parents whom I know outside of school are asked not to use email for school-related communication, but to call. The same goes with the preschool which my son attends. I've known the teachers and director for years socially, but all my communication regarding my son is either done in person or over the phone. This way, we get the best communication possible in real time.

I hope this provides a balanced picture of parent/teacher/director communications in this setting. One book you might consider delving into is called "The Essential Conversation" by Sarah Lawrence-Lightfoot. This discusses parent/teacher conferences for older children, and may shed some light on the subject for future insight.

Best wishes for your future preschool situations.

H.

Communication is vital. So is a happy child. I would make an appointment with the director and calmly and diplomatically explain how you feel.

I would also talk with other parents and see if they're having similar issues. If most parents would like a daily or weekly update on how their child is doing suggest that the school provide that info on a form. I"ve seen this done in several schools.

When I do have an issue and don't get a return call, I assume that the message got lost and call again. Is it possible that you're because you're expecting for there to be a lack of communication you find it?

Are you satisfied with the curriculum, the way your child is treated, and the mix of children? If so, I'd work at making better communication with the staff. Be friendly. Take time to chat when you drop off or pick up your child. When you have a question, such as when your child was scratched, talk with the teacher, in person, instead of relying on phone messages.

I suggest it's possible for you to improve the communication by being more forward and friendly. I'd at least try that before changing schools since your child is happy there. All preschools have their drawbacks and this one sounds like something that might be worked on successfully.

i'm sure you could find another school where both you and your child would be happy. If you're so disgusted you don't even want to go to pick your child up...it's time for you to move on.

Find another preshool.

I would find a new daycare. You should get a report from his teacher daily. And there is no excuse if your child was hurt by another child and your call wasn't returned. She called your hubby a liar??? I know here in Wisconsin Daycares are hurting because we have so many people out of work. But I would be looking for a new daycare.

I own and operate a preschool and I am saying FIND ANOTHER SCHOOL!!! I am so involved and hands on I will call parents from my home if there is an issue. NOTHING gets past me, or addressed. Owning and operating a preschool is a HUGE responsibility and something I do not take lightly. Is the director the owner? Prior to owning a school I worked for many directors who just didn't care. That is why I wanted my own center. Communication is VERY important and is necessary. If you are not feeling heard I can only imagine your child is not being heard as well. Look around there are top notch centers out there. Look online for parent reviews and maybe that will give you a better idea or where to look. Good luck!!

Communication is hugely important. Without it, you have no idea what is happening to your child all day while he is at school. It is critical that both the teacher and director respond to your concerns and communicate with each other if there are issues.

If I was in your situation, I would switch schools. Good luck.

First of all is it nursery school or daycare. Nursery school is normally 2 or 3 part time days daycare is longer. To me it seems they are more interested in your money then anything else. To call someone a liar is competely wrong in any type of school situation. Is the type of languge you want your child to pick up. I would pull my child out of this school immediately. Tell them why calmly. Tell them once you loose ground when you repeat yourself. I would look for a more nuturing enviroment.

Completely unacceptable, I'd be livid and already beyond the point of any further discussion with a preschool that operates this way...find another preschool.

I would find another school. My kids are both in pre-school, and my daughters class on dismissal, they don't say much but she is in a pre-k 5 yo class similar to K. So there are a lot of kids, but every time they have a question or a concern, or anything, one of the teachers calls me. If I have had questions I call the director and one of the teachers calls me back usually that day, at most the next day. In my sons class he is 3 and the teachers talk to most of the parents as the kids are leaving. They say what they did, if they had a good/bad day if there were any incidents, and have even mentioned illness in other kids to make us aware. In his class I have only been called once, because most of the communication happens on pick-up. But in both classes, I have a lot of communication with the teachers. I have spoken to the director on numerous occasions. And have received phone calls from the director at times for random things. I worked as a daycare director at one time, and I believe this is how it should be(lots of communication). If it wasn't I would leave. So definitely find a better pre-school. Good luck in your search!