Preschool Age? - Deer Park,TX

Updated on July 18, 2010
C.S. asks from Deer Park, TX
25 answers

I am a firm believer in staying at home w/children till school... I used to always think preschool started at 4, from when I was a teacher, that's what we recomended. Now it seems like everyone is starting earlier. Why? Is it just glorified day care for moms that need a 'break'. ???

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

i think they now realize that kids can learn much more than they previously thought. my son who is 2 1/2yrs old knows his numbers 1-10, is learning abc's and colors.

I could be wrong but it also helps kids with social skills and learning mommy will be back.

BTW what is wrong with mommy needing a break and sending there kid to a educational place.?

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A.A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Sometimes I think so. But I will say my little one is starting at 3 because of a speech development delay due to a physical abnormality that has recently been corrected. As a recently divorced single mom of a 3 and 9 year old I can't afford to stay home but in an ideal world (and according to the advice of my soon-to-be husband) I will be staying home with the new children unless they need specialized training like my 3 year old does. I hope stay-at-home moms aren't sending them to school early just so they can have a life. Their job is their kids!

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter will be 4 years old next month and she has already gone through PK-3 (two times a week just in the morning) and will be going to PK-4 this year (2-3 a week just in the morning). I am a stay at home mom, but do have a very part-time job that I usually do supply runs while she is in preschool, in the summer time I just bring her along like I did before she was in preschool.

The MAIN reason I had my daughter go to PK-3 is because she is an ONLY child and she needed to socialize more then the bi-monthly play group we were apart of and going to the playground 2-3 times weekly.
The SECOND reason is she loves to learn and we do a great job at home expanding her love for learning but she also likes getting away from mom and learn in a school environment with her school friends & teachers.
THIRDLY, you know what, when I do not have to do work while she is in preschool YES I love the break, and I can get the whole house cleaned and laundry started so I can spend the rest of the day with her instead of half focusing on the house chores and half on playing with her. I know I am not a perfect parent and need a break, preschool has been a way for her to enjoy learning and me to keep sane. My daughter and I are very much alike and we, at times, can push eat other buttons which creates a stressful house.
LASTLY you DO NOT have to put them in preschool, that is every families own decision. As long as they are ready for Kindergarten then preschool is not needed. Some preschools are glorified day care because the care givers do not have early education teaching degrees (so something to ask if looking into preschool in what degrees the teachers have) BUT most are a simplified SCHOOL setting with actually teachers with early education degrees.

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A.A.

answers from Waco on

Honestly, I think you need to analyze your beliefs a bit. There is quite a bit of judgment and narrow-mindedness in your question. Is this about what is best for you or for your child? Studies show and most experts believe that the QUALITY of the childcare situation is what matters most. That might be a parent or it could be a great babysitter, family member, nanny, or daycare center. Every family situation is different and every child is different. If you have a child that is gifted, for example, as a parent, it may be difficult for you as a parent to provide enough stimulation that is challenging for your child. A great teacher, on the other hand, might be able to provide what you cannot. I’m not saying this applies in your situation, but if you are truly a former teacher, you of all people should know that every child is unique. Yes, I am sure some moms do send their kids to preschool because they need a break. But ask yourself, what is so bad about that? Managing a household, changing diapers, loads of laundry… these can get a little boring after awhile and don’t really provide a sense of accomplishment for a lot of women. Is it so wrong to want a little time for yourself? Would you rather have a depressed, over-wrought parent taking care of little Johnny? For some SAHM’s, that is exactly what happens. Not to mention, little Johnny might actually get a few things out of going to preschool – things like social skills, developmentally appropriate learning opportunities, and educational activities. It’s a complicated issue and no two family situations are alike. Try to look at the issue from all sides and as a whole. Accept that what works for you, may not be what works for others.

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J.D.

answers from Austin on

Amanda, if a SAHM wants to send her kid to preschool, why is that bad? Not everyone can or wants to be the 24/7 supermom. Your "job" as a mom isn't just to be a mom but also to be a well-rounded and happy woman. A few hours to yourself, whether it be to do housework, do the shopping or whatever, is a good thing.

Of course if you don't need any time to yourself then that is great. But don't pass judgement on people who do choose preschool for their kids. Plus, the kids are learning a lot (at my preschool 3 year olds know all the continents, planets and so much more, it's wonderful).

For those of you who think it's glorified day care, you haven't been to my school!

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D.A.

answers from Houston on

I'm sure some of it is moms meaning well, and wanting their kids to learn as much as possible in the early years, when they learn so effortlessly. What they don't realize is that kids can learn just as much at home with their moms. You're right; it's glorified day care.

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K.B.

answers from Columbus on

No, it's not a glorified day care for moms that need a 'break', it's an outlet for kids who are smart and ready to start learning.

My daughter was 3 1/2 when she started preschool. She's very smart and independent she would have been absolutely miserable if we would have waited another year for her to start preschool. She went twice a week, half a day. She starts Pre-K in the fall, four days a week, half days. Some kids are ready at three and some aren't.

I think it's a bit harsh to think that people only take their kids to school for a 'break'.

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A.B.

answers from Houston on

I was wondering the same thing. I didn't even go to preschool. When I turned 5, it was straight to kindergarten, and I turned out fine. However, as a mom to a 3-year-old, I made the decision to put her in a preschool program two days a week, from 9 to 1:30 p.m. I really think it will be good for her to be around other kids in a structured envirornment, as well as learn how to separate from me for awhile. I have been at home taking care of her for three years, and she is very attached to me. Plus there is a new baby coming soon, and I think it will give her a little break from the chaos of that. Basically, It just depends on the child and the situation.

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A.L.

answers from Austin on

The same reason child-rearing books are so popular. People have moved. It's become increasingly uncommon for people to stay in the same town they grew up in, close to their parents and siblings. That sort of thing provided an automatic "village." Someone to help with the things you forgot. (Trapezoids? Counting by tens?) Someone to watch your child for an hour while you went to the dentist or OB. Cousins the same age, to provide socialization for each other. Someone who's raised and spent time with children and can offer advice and guidance. But most of us now have moved and spread out. We don't have that automatic "village" anymore. So we have to make our own. For a lot of us, that partially means finding an MDO or preschool we trust, that our children enjoy. If the kiddos learn something along the way, all the better.

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L.C.

answers from Austin on

No, it's for people who want to boost their child's education earlier, families in which both parents work, or single parents, as well as many other reasons, I'm sure.

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L.B.

answers from Austin on

Our family had wonderful experiences with play-based preschool that emphasized social skills as well as age-appropriate activities like encouraging pretend play, blocks, art, hands-on exploration, walks and learning about things the kids expressed interest in -- dinosaurs, ocean creatures, bugs, etc. -- but that did NOT emphasize formal academic learning. Our children formed friendships, had experiences different from those they had at home or on outings with us and developed wonderful relationships with some amazing teachers. There are widely different philosophies among preschools -- some focusing on social skills, others valuing academic skills, and many doing both. You're the best judge of what's right for your family. Not all preschools are created equal -- in terms of teacher/student ratios, activities, etc. There is a heavy emphasis at many schools on things like letters, numbers, etc., with the idea that kids who have that in preschool begin kindergarten with a head start. But many researchers believe that social skills are far more important at this age, and that nuts and bolts academic learning should come a bit later. If you decide to try preschool, be sure to visit several, watch the teachers and kids in action, and ask questions of the school and of yourself, to figure out what's right for you and your child. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I went to register my 4 year old for preschool today and a lady in line was saying she thinks pre school for 3 year olds and 4 year olds should be added to the public school system. I don't agree. Most people stated they send their kids for social skills. Is it the parents responsibility to teach that? I for one would rather my child learn how to socialize appropriately in my home with other children their age vs. in the school where not everyone has the same social standards. I understand the need for a "break" from kids. I have 4 young children. I just switch babysitting with a friend for a couple hours a week. I get the break, my kids get to play and socialize, and I get the benefit of not forking out money for someone to play with my child.
It is everyone's choice though. I for one don't want to rush sending my kid out into the world though because they grow up too fast.

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D.D.

answers from Sarasota on

Socialization. I think they learn compassion and sharing with the longer interaction. Also as a bouns he has recieved a great education. Mine started at 18 months for 3 hours a day 3 days a week (to a school not daycare) and loved it. He has his friends at school, friends from the park, friends from play group etc...Now he is 3 and he goes 5 days a week for 3 hours and still loves it.

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T.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I'm sending my son in August - he turns 3 in September. I'm only sending him 2 half days a week. My reasons are this: 1. He really needs the social aspect of it. 2. He needs to learn to have time away from me. 3. He is not doing as well with "academics" as I'd like (i.e. he's a little behind with oral communication, learning colors, numbers, etc.) and I'm hoping someone else can encourage him to try harder. I'm also a teacher (part-time) so I understand where you are coming from. When I taught kindergarten, I did think the kids who had multiple years of preschool had a leg up on the ones that didn't. I think everyone has different reasons for sending their children at an earlier age, but ultimately it depends on the child and the situation.

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

Yes and no. I used to feel the way you feel, but honestly felt pressure to put my little ones in MDO because "everyone else was doing it." Yes, I admit it! ....and my son seemed overly clingy to me. I chose to do this for social skills, not for early learning. I ended up putting him in twice a week/4 hrs a day when he turned 3. He really struggled with the transition! I wish I had of started him a little earlier, actually. He was a little behind on social skills; outgoing but slower on concepts like waiting in line, for example. Not that 3 yr olds have this mastered but let's just say there was a difference with him. This also allowed me to get things done around the house, and run errands w/o him (8 hours a week). So yes, I needed a break from my overly active son and I don't feel bad about it either! I started my youngest at the age of 2. Only 1 day/week. She's SO much better adjusted than my oldest was at this age!!! It could just be a personality difference but I feel certain the age I started them at definitely has something to do with it. Never cries when I leave her side, she's well adjusted and really enjoys going to school. This year she will go 2x/wk. I don't think it's unreasonable to have 8 hours a week to yourself. I don't know if you ever get a babysitter but I much prefer to have them in MDO than with a young babysitter (at least with our experiences with sitters). So, I do things like grocery shopping, cleaning, doctor's appointments, etc. You need to do what's right for you but now that I have decided to do this, I don't regret it for one millisecond! I'm so glad I felt the pressure, so to speak. :)

M.S.

answers from Columbus on

I had three kids in three years and we also moved 5 times before my oldest turned 10. When the kids were little, I belonged to a couple Mom & Child classes and also did playgroups. Once we moved the second time to another state, we found many kids their ages within the neighborhood. However, my youngest - a daughter - was only 2 when we moved from that neighborhood and I really had no one around to hang with who had a child her age. When she started preschool at 4, I realized I had not socialized her hardly at all. She was fine. She cried the first few days when I left her, but was fine by the end of the first week. But, as mothers do, I felt guilty. I hadn't done playgroups or any sort of classes at all with her. The boys had friends and both started preschool at age 3 , because it was offered where we lived at the time. I think it completely depends on the environment and circumstances. We had a surprise fourth child and it has thrown my world upside down. If I have a chance to put my daughter in preschool at age 3, I'll probably do it. All of my friends have older kids, are now working outside the home, or live far away. So, I have no one to get together with for playdates. Besides that, my older kids keep me busy with all of their functions and activities. It's just me and my daughter all...day.....long. AT least the older kids also had each other to play with when we weren't around other kids. We live in a small, rural community that has no Gymboree class or nice parks(actually ANY park for that matter), etc. I'm not saying my youngest doesn't deserve to have me to herself, but given an opportunity to get her around other kids her age, I will jump on it!!

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

I work full time and fell into the belief that the younger the better off they will be. My son was already in a daycare that provided him with a lot of socialization, but no schooling. So, at 3 years old, I enrolled him in pre-school for 3 days a week (just 2 hours each day). it was 1/2 way thru the school year when he joined because he had 3. Little did I know that when school let out, I had 2 choices have him repeat PK3 (which would give him a chance to go thru the 1st 1/2 of the ABCs), or move him to PK4 which would mean he would miss the first 1/2 of the ABCs). I chose to have him repeat PK3. In the end, if I had known better, I would have just waited until he was 3.5 and had him join at the beginning of the school year.

So, to answer your question, at least those of us that work full time, I think we just kinda get sucked in with the flow and if our stay at home moms are bringing their kids there, we tend to think that it is what it is.

Hope I helped from a different point of view.

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A.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I started my daughter the month before she turned 3 while I was a SAHM for socialization reasons. She did not behave well on playdates, and I really needed to get her in a setting where she could socialize without doing everything in her power to get my attention (usually by misbehaving) instead of playing. I was afraid things would get very much out of control if I waited. We started with 2 days a week (TTh) but the schedule was confusing to her. When I put her in an extra day and did TWTh, things went much better. Now she enjoys school, and I'm working again, so she's there full time.

I think personality of the child will determine the need to for earlier preschool. I have a friend whose daughter doesn't misbehave on playdates (and has plenty of them), and her quiet time in the afternoon was enough of a break for her, so she chose not to send her to preschool. Cognitively, she's learned at home everything and more she would have in pre-k, but she loves to learn and her parents have developed that well. I don't think she'll miss out on anything. You have to look at your own situation. What do you think your child needs?

My daughter was taught a lot of things in preschool, like colors, numbers, ABC's, shapes, and a little bit of introductory Spanish, but that's not why I sent her. I'd rather have them learning to take turns, wait in line, learn about friendship, and experience the world (i.e., they planted vegetables).

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

Unfortunately not all of us are lucky enough to stay home with our children full time. So thankfully there are structured pre school programs that are not just daycare. The day is full of learning activities, projects, songs and plenty of play time and socialization. Infants from 0-18 mos do not do a whole lot of structure, but once they reach toddler age 18mos + the day is pretty structured. Most pre schools also have part time rates for 2 days a week or more for moms that work part time, are students or would like their child or develop social skills etc.

Preschools/daycares have long had structured programs for toddlers up, the actual "pre school" class is for 4-5 years olds and helps them prepare for Kindergarten. I'm sure things vary from school to school, but this is how my son's current after school program is, and this is how the daycare/preschool that I worked in was.

My son also attended a Montessori preschool which worked out great for us since my son is exceptionally smart and definitely needed more stimulation.

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J.P.

answers from Jackson on

I felt the same way with my older daughter, and I regret it. She could have used the structure and socialization of a school setting. Now that she's in school she's overly talkative and wants friends more than to do school work. I think a lot of that is because she went too long without being surrounded by other children. With the daughter I just had, I will be sending her to a school not a daycare as soon as I can.

Good luck

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I went back to work when my kids were 2 and 3.. (part time 2 days per week)

my kids went to day care preschhool.. and it has been great for them.

they are certainly not learning algebra.. but social skills,, taking turns standing in line.. ABC... counting..

if they didnt learn this at 3 they could certainly learn it at 4... or even in kindergarden. I am a big fan of preschool.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm a working mom-we have 2 preschool aged kids who are in full-time day care. But, we have several kids on our street all the same age. 2 kids are at home with Mom, 2 are in day care. All are 4 years-old and within 5 months of each other. We also have several friends who do stay home with the kids who are also the same general ages.
There is a marked difference in social and educational abilities in the 2 groups (those in some kind of preschool/day care vs. those who are not).

If I were a SAHM, I would choose to put my child into day care ~2-3 times/week starting at age 2 to familiarize them with social structures, resolving disputes, learning new authority figures, and basic education principles.

We believe our 4 year-old will be reading before his next birthday (he just turned 4) based upon his proficiencies with his phonics and letter recognition currently. Most of that is attributable to the time they spend at day care on that curriculum (which has been since he was in the "Young 2's" class at day care).

For some of our friends/neighbors, it is a sorely needed break from the kids. Different personalities handle the stressors of kids better than others. For others, it's the focus on the other items I mentioned.

One of our neighbors would prefer NOT to have her son in preschool (wait until kindergarten), but she feels pressure from the other moms in the neighborhood to do the same.

Good luck with your decision.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Many kids go to preschool/nursery school for two years before kindergarten. I did, and I'm 43! My daughter (now 15) went to one year of preschool - 5 afternoons a week. I felt she didn't need to go at age 3, because I worked f/t and she went to a home daycare provider where there were 2 other kids her age. She had plenty of socialization and her academic skills seemed on target so I did not feel she needed two years. When my son (now 11) was little, I sent him at age 3, because I had stopped working for a few years when he was 1. He did not get socialization with other kids his age very much and his academic skills were not as advanced as his sister's, so he went at age 3 for two mornings a week, and then at age 4 for three mornings a week.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

pre-school is the new kindergarten.

In fact in many areas they now call it K4 instead of pre-school, so that would mean "pre-school" would start at 3.

Kindergarten used to be where kids learned how to behave in a group for a set amount of time, how to socialize, how to follow complex directions and how to begin to control impulses. Not anymore. If you don't know these things already IN ADDITION to the basics of sight words, simple math/counting and personal care a kid can really struggle.

My daughter's first week of kindergarten (5 years ago, she had just turned 5) they were given a list of books to read each week and a worksheet book report that was turned in each Friday. They had 2 or 3 "assignments" each night in various subjects and the ENTIRE school day was spent in actual school, going from subject to subject that even included introductory spanish. And this was just a public school.

There are a good many moms who have the time, ability, experience, stamina or whatever to teach them all the pre-stuff basics at home. There are a good many moms who, for whatever reason, can't. So, pre-school teaches the "what is school about" to your child before they are held accountable for behaving in school.

I also think, it's extremely valid for a mom to need a "break". You sorta said that like it was a bad thing. I was both a SAHM and a work-outside-the-home mom with one kid who is pretty well behaved. In order to really focus on your kid there are times when you need somewhere for the kid to go because you have to focus on something else at that time. I didn't want to be a mom who was doing laundry and cleaning while I parked my kid in front of the TV or whatever, so even when I was a SAHM my daughter went to a "pre-school" 3 days each week in the morning. That's when I did shopping, major cleaning, scheduled my appointments, sat and stared at the wall to keep my sanity whatever.

I think that experience was great for her, she built some really great friends and is very independent. We had NO issues with her crying when I left like we saw in kindergarten because she had a basis of expectation of what would be going on and since her experience was good it was something she looked forward to.

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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

As a teacher of young children, I think 3 1/2 or 4 is a good age for PT preschool. I would do a few 1/2 days a week even if you are a stay at home mom, This will help your child to learn how to play and socialize with other children his/her age. Learning how to interact in a more structured environment is good too for your child and starting to become accustomed to being separated from mom for a few hrs each week is something a child needs to learn too. THis way when kindergarten comes around in 1 1/2 yrs there is not a lot of upset. You mentioned taht you are concerned that preschool will be glorified daycare. It will only be this way if you don't do some research on preschools vs. daycares. Talk to other mom friends and see where their children have gone to preschool and what preschools they have liked and disliked. The next step is to pick 3-4 and set up an appt for a visit with your child. Tell the teacher you are chkg out preschools in the area and will choose one ne after your tour all of them. See if you can see observe what a regular 1/2 day involves at preschool. Ask lots of questions, meet the teachers, see the playground, get a feel for the environment and choose from there. We have even had parents who are in touring ask if they can sit in and watch, play and participate for an hour or so (with their child there) . A good preschool will allow this. Good luck mom.

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