Potty Training Help Needed PLEASE!!

Hi my name is F. and i know the feeling my daughter is about to be 4 and she is ust now potty trained! I did everything under the sun too! Got her hannah montanna panties candy, barbies you name it we tried it and nothing worked so i know this may sound yuck but my pedi recommended it! She told me sometimes kids dont feel like they have any control and that is one thing they so have control over so she said when she poops to let her sit in it! Not for a long time i mean if she comes in and says mommy i pooped i would just say well we should have pooped in the potty and would wait a min or two but she couldnt stand it! After about a week of this oe sat morn she woke me up at 8:30 and said mommy i want to wear my panties and i put her in a pull up that day and the next we put on panties and havent had an accident yet!! I have a son he is two and asnt really started to potty yet but i plan to do the same with him!! Hope it all come together for you soon!!

Ok, i had the exact same problem with my son when he was 3, he actually potty trained himself, but would notpoop in the potty either. We put a large poster board ( sticker chart0 right next to the potty on the wall. We took him to pick out his own stickers, many different kinds. On his chart we put " kole's poo poo chart. He was only allowed to put his sticker on there when he pooped, and was not even allowed to have the stickers for any reason. We actually had to make it a whole family ordeal, and when he did poop, we would sing that he went poo poo in the potty to a cha cha tune. It took about a week, then he was all into the sticker thing... We still have his chart..lol... And he is almost 7.
Good luck

I know you've heard this before, but honestly, until he's ready, he's just not going to do it! THink of it like walking. Some kids really early, some kids late, but eventually they will all walk. You can help them and guide them and provide support with starting to walk, but until they are developmentally ready, they just aren't going to. Some people tell you that their kids were potty trained at young ages, and in some cases, maybe they were, but in most cases, I've seen, it's the parent who's really trained. I don't believe they are really potty trained until they go on their own intitiative. They may be able to keep their pants dry all day, but if Mom is taking them every 30 min., they aren't really getting that urge and going. It's the same concept of people that brag that their 1 year old knows the alphabet, but they are just singing a song. THey have no concept at that age what the song means, they are just repeating lyrics like you would "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", so they don't reall "know" the alphabet. I hope that makes sense.

My oldest son was a really late potty trainer. I got the potty and started doing all the "prep" stuff when he was 18 months old. He was a couple months past 3 before he really even tried. No matter what I did before that mattered. He was 3 1/2 when he started preschool and was just finally in underwear, and even then, most days he had that "baggie" of wet clothes waiting for me when I picked him up. I was so frustrated! I believe it was around Halloween / Thanksgiving before he stayed dry all day all by himself (he was turning 4 that following February). It was a couple months after his 4th birthday before he stayed dry at night. He's now 6, and still has maybe an accident a month at night, but never during the day. I racked my brain and tried every bribery tactic in the book. He really loved going up in the attic with daddy to look at the Christmas decorations, so that worked for a while. I also did a potty present for a few months. I wrapped up a small toy in the bathroom and put a grid on it. Every time he went, he got a sticker, and when the grid was full, he got to open it. I started with 5 stickers on the present and added 5 more to work for with each gift. I am not sure the presents really did much, but he was 3 1/2-4 before I believe he was developmentally ready to get it even though he's a very bright kid.

That being said, I hated every minute of the potty training struggle with my first, so with my second, I kept putting it off. He'd see big brother go and watched Daddy. And he'd go when I'd take his brother in public. I would just tell him good job, and never really made an issue out of taking him potty. Maybe I was in denial because of the stress my first put me through. :) He was still soaking his diapers at night and all day, and I just didn't want to deal with it yet, so I had told myself this summer I'd pump myself up and we'd go for it. Well, one day in January, out of the clear blue, my 3 year old told me he wanted to go potty. And he did. He stayed in pull ups for the whole week and I was still skeptical that it wasn't for real because there is no way it could be that easy. Not when #1 was so impossible. Sure enough, a week later, he never once peed in his pull up during the day or the night. He went completely on his own. I guess he was ready to do it.

I've rambled on now, but the point of my story is to not stress about it now. Your son will eventually go potty. It has nothing to do with intelligence or anything. When he's ready to go, he'll go! Don't let the stress of what other kids do get you down or make you feel pressured!! Every kid is different.

Okay, this is going to sound weird but I've known several people who say this works. Now that the weather is warming up, let him play in the back yard with no pants or underwear on. Put a training potty outside with him and let him know he needs to go in the potty. It will take a few messes before he gets the idea but generally kids catch on pretty quick.

I had trouble with my last son who is now 4yrs old, I also have two older sons 15 & 13yrs old. I had to take him to potty 30-45min after he ate, let him sit there for 15min and make it our story time; because that was the only way I got him to go defecate in his potty.

I COMPLETELY understand your frustration! I don't know if I have any real advice, but I want you to know that you are not alone. I have a 3 1/2 year old son and we are in the same situation. He learned to pee pee in the potty right off the bat, but we are still struggling with the poo poo thing. I posted a question on here about 2-3 weeks ago about this very thing, and got some great advice and much needed support, so I am just writing to tell you to try your best to remain patient and know that all things pass!! I tried the Miralax advice, giving him a little every morning to make sure that his stools were soft, and he did actually go in the toilet about five times! I just knew that we were done after that, but then we took a trip and he hasn't gone poopoo in the potty since. It is frustrating because now I know that he can, he just doesn't want to. So, I am back to square one also! Really, I do just think it is a timing thing, they will get it when they get it and there is very little we can do in the meantime other than remain patient, consistent, and encouraging! Good luck, and God bless your efforts!

T.

My oldest daughter was exactly the same. By 2 1/2 she could pee like a pro . . . but BMs were an entirely different matter! Please don't compare him to what other kids are doing and feel you need to "compete." I agree with your pediatrician that he'll do it in time . . . as frustrating as that may be to you. Ultimately, the reward system (not bribes!) did kick in with my daughter, not long after her third birthday. We hung a chart on the wall where she would get a sticker for each time she BM'ed in the potty, then after a certain number of stickers she would get a small reward. The ultimate reward, when she completely stopped going in her pants, was a bike (although such a far-reaching and distant reward usually doesn't work with most kids). Once once we had switched her to big-girl undies, I refused to go back to diapers or Pull-Ups. I kept hoping that the unpleasant feel of it in her underwear would convince her to start going on the potty (it didn't!) but I figured at that point that Pull-Ups was just enabling her. Good luck!

If you figure out the trick please share it with me. My son is 3 years old and he has no problem going pee in the potty but when it comes to poop he just won't have it. It's not like he doesn't know when he has to go potty because he goes when he wants, but for some reason he won't poop in the potty. He waits till he's done it in his pull up and then comes to me for a changing.

Sorry mom I just go postal! Just kidding, my daughter took a long time (she was potty trained by Age 2 my son was potty trained by 18 months)and I just made a huge deal of going to the bathroom in the pot. We had potty parties and i took her to the bathroom constantly.

Every child is different, so don't worry about what all the other kids are doing. My son did the same, much later with the (poop) in the pot than the pee, he is very young yet. Just act thrilled when he does go and don't make such a big deal out of it otherwise. Sometimes I would put my son on a potty chair and let him read one of his little books about the time I thought he may need to go, and then he would sit there a bit, & if he went he got some raisens or a few chocolate chips, if he didn't we just went on about our business and didn't make a deal out of it.

I have the same problems with my son who just turned 3. I have found that he just doesn't want to stop what he is doing to use the potty. I have also learned that it is very common for boys to be too into what they are doing to use the potty. My son's doctor said the same thing, he also said that there will be a huge difference now that he is 3 and I have noticed him starting to tell me more when he needs to go even if he isn't making it there. Good luck to you!

We used the book "Everybody Poops!". My daughter also trained very easily with "tee-tee", but would hold her poop for several days. We were told about this book and after the 2nd day of reading it, she was pooping in the potty. And we haven't had any accidents at all since.
Just FYI for others: we also used the book "My big girl potty" when we first started training. It was great! (It also comes in "My big boy potty")
Good luck!

I am a SAH mom too (9 children)youngest is 4. Hooray all are potty trained. I firmly believe that each child has a unique readiness age. As you have figured out the more difficult challenge is control of where, when, and how to have BM's. Pressuring a child who is not ready can actually complicate the issue for them. I tried a variety of things to set my kids up for success like pretty/or fun/ or musical potties, book/toy baskets only for use while on the potties, rewards etc..) Anything to encourage them! Limit dissappointment for "failed attempts", and celebrated a willingness to try. I say things like "Wow, everything is working today and God sure made your body good." Keeping it simple and setting a routine is great. Right after breakfast is helpful if your schedule allows. Best wishes to your family and may God Bless your efforts!

I have 2 boys and neither one of them were fully potty trained until almost 4 years old. My youngest was easier to teach but my oldest was a handful. It is true that one day it will just click with the child and it will just happen.

I don't have any other suggestions than just be patient and it will happen.

Has your son seen his dad sit on the toilet? I had a good friend a number of years ago whose son would not do poop in the toilet because he thought you had to stand to so and he had not figured out how to stand and poop. Seeing dad sit did the job.

I must say I agree completely with your pediatrician. They know when they are ready and I have discovered that NOTHING will change it! I have 4 kids. My 3rd & 4th are 20 mos apart. When I found out I was expecting my 4th I wanted to have my youngest potty trained before I had the baby. Just like you, I tried everything...unfortunately nothing worked. She understood the concept but just wasn't ready. One day, it hasn't been too terribly long ago, my daughter woke up put on panties and began using the potty and has been wearing her 'big girl panties' ever since. It was over a year ago that I began working with her on potty training...so be patient. She is now 2 1/2. I hear that boys are much harder than girls. My oldest 3 kids are girls my 4th is a boy! I can tell you they are all differnt, but one thing was the same...it was on their time...when they were ready.

My answer to most potty questions is Anola Frankel's "Once Upon a Potty"-- get the book AND the DVD. There is a version for girls and one for boys, so look carefully before you buy. Also, get him a doll and tell him it is his job to babysit this little brother or sister doll. At different times of the day, tell him that the dolly needs to potty, #1 and #2, and ask him what needs to be done. Make sure he tells you in his own words and brings the doll to the potty, wipes, etc. Also, when he does go in the potty that first time after all these strategies, have a big boy potty party. Have him mail his pull-ups to the babies that need them (fake this, of course). You can also have the baby pull-up potty fairy mail him a box of treats in return for his extra pull-ups. All of that combined with the book and DVD, which has a catchy song that the kids respond to, should hopefully speed up the process! Good luck!
BTW, while I didn't need ALL of the strategies above, i've pieced them together from various people who've had more difficulty potty training their kids (usually boys for some reason)... but hey, drastic times call for pulling out ALL of the stops, right?? :)

E.~
I totally know how you are feeling. My son did the same thing when he was little. Unfortionatly your pediatrition is right... It will happen when he's ready. My son was "Pee potty trained" from the time he was 28 months. Everyday like clockwork he would bring me a pamper (just to poop in), have me put it on, then he would go into the bathroom and close the door. He would come out when he was done and have me take the pamper off and put his undies back on. He didn't go poop in the toilet until he was 32 months old. 4 months before his 3rd birthday. I tried everything also. Bribeing him, making him sit on the toilet until he went (which he never would). I tried telling him that there weren't anymore pampers. I would hide the pampers from him. Nothing worked, he would just hold it. Which in turn made him constipated. I was so frustrated with him. I would get angry with him and then feel bad when he would cry. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't go. During this time i found out i wasn't the only person this was happening to. 2 of my friends had the same problem with their sons. After talking to the Doctor, I backed off of him for alittle while. I let him continue doing what he was doing with the once a day pamper. All the while asking him if he wanted to go in the toilet but not pushing the issue. Then in Nov. of 2004 we went to Hawaii to visit my sister. The day we were leaving he had loose stools. While on the plane he couldn't hold it. I took this opportunity to make him go on the toilet. I told him that i didn't have any pampers and he had to use the potty. He didn't want to go in his pants (which he never did)so when we got to the bathroom he went. He whined alittle but his body took over and he went. When he realized it was ok, he was good to go! The rest of that trip was awesome! The whole time at my sisters he used the toilet. The day we got back home he tried to bring me a pamper. I told him that those were for his baby sister and that he didn't need them anymore. He agreed and all was good. All i can tell you is be alittle more patient. As my one great friend told me, "He's not going to be a teenager in pampers." LOL It will happen for him. Just watch and wait for the right moment. I hope this helps you. I know it was alittle long. Oh, also, i never used pull ups. They do nothing but feel like a pamper to them. He wore regular underwear. Good Luck to you!
L. :)