Potty Training - Newburgh,NY

Hi M.,

It's great that she already knows when she has to go, that's one step in the process taken care of. As for getting her to actually go, a couple of thoughts. First, I never used any kind of rewards system and I do not believe in them. Rewards make it seem like using the toilet is something they can choose to do or not to, and that it's something they are doing to please you, as opposed to expected behavior. The reward for using the toilet is that you're not sitting in poo and pee anymore, and you get the privacy of using the bathroom rather than public diaper changes.

Neither of my kids ever made a deposit in a potty. It was the worst waste of money ever. I would go directly to the big toilet. But at 2.5, if she's not ready, wait a month or two and try again.

What is she wearing? Disposable diapers? Pullups? At this point, if you make a switch to cloth diapers, or heavy cloth training pants with a waterproof outer layer or plastic pants over them, this may give her the motivation to use the toilet. Since she already knows when she has to go and apparently doesn't mind going in her diaper or whatever she's got on, if you switch to cloth and going in her diaper leaves her feeling very wet and uncomfortable, this is when she may decide the toilet is a better option. Good luck

Bought one of those expensive talking potty chairs for my
granddaughter and all she wanted to do was play with the music. Would not sit on the potty. My daughter bought an
inexpensive seat that sits on the toilet seat and she potty
trained in a few days. It has a hook, so it can hang on the
bathroom wall next to the toilet. My grandaughter likes to get
the seat and put it on the toilet herself. Also whenever she
would say something to the effect of having to go, I would
quickly get her to the toilet, put her on and stay right there
kneeling down in front of her. She is 3 now and has been trained since 22 months!

I would suggest you stop ALL pressure regarding the potty and let her decide when she is ready and also WANTS to go on the potty. Let her know that when she is ready she can use the potty, it is up to her. Now it is just a power struggle that she can win every time. You also don't want to create a negative experience around the potty, let her control it (as she already is). We as parents can get hung up on "it's time", believe me she won't go to college in diapers and as my mother use to say "pick you battles". This isn't one that you can win. I would also suggest you have a conversation with her and tell her your sorry if you pressured her and let her know that it is up to her, whenever she is ready. You can offer the potty, but let her decide when she'll use it. ALSO, I found it helped with my son to be around other kids using the potty, it made him want to be "included".

Hi M.,

I know everyone thinks that 2.5 is too early but it is a great age for her to start. I am a nanny of 6 yrs and have been the head toddler teacher in a daycare for 2 years, one thing I know about is potty training. LOL I believe if they can tell you what they want to eat, drink, and most of all tell you no potty they can comprehend "going potty". The way to actually know if they are ready is if she is using less diapers or sleeping through nap without wetting the daiper, if she is doing that she is certaintly ready.

1. get a potty seat that goes on the big toilet, if she is scared/cries take her to the store with you to pick it out, now they have all the characters on them like Dora or Elmo, she will love that make it as fun as possible.

2. No rewards, no time outs or punishment if she doesn't go. That doesn't work.

2. Don't switch to pull ups or underwear, that will confuse her, stick with what you have.

3. Take a weekend or do it when you can be uninterupted, not have to travel all over and just be home, so she can get a routine for a day or two/three. You have to be committed to it.

4. Don't make her sit on the potty for long periods of time, take her if she doesn't go but sits on the potty, then let her get off.

Here is how to do it:

The best way to train, at home, is to take off diaper and train them without anything on but a shirt. Why? Because at the age of about 22 months they develop the ability to be able to hold thier pee and poppies, and she needs to learn how she feels right before she has to go, that is the best way for her to know.

It also helps you to find out what she does when it's time for her to go, every child does something, some kids go in a corner, so kids won't sit down, some stand on thier tip toes, some start to cry for a diaper, etc.

The most important thing that I do and it works, it to be consistant and take her every 45 to 50 minutes. Why? Because if you do that and keep introducing her to it over and over and you keep interrupting her play or activities she will get to a point when she will just tell you because she won't want to stop what she is doing when she doesn't have to go. She figure I'll just tell you instead of you asking me over and over.

Once you get that down you will know when she has to go but a child is not potty trained when they can't tell you they have to go and you have to constantly tell or take them for them to go. So try not to have playdates at that time, kids tend to forget about the "feeling" when playing with other children. And remember she is learning so there will be accidents, but it is so worth it. i have trained childer that are as young as 1.5 year, honestly, so it is so possible.

NOTE: Sometimes it is easier if you get them to go poopies first, plus it's easier to tell when they need to do that.

If you need any other advice on it let me know.

Hope this helps.

K. B

i'm having a similar situation with my 3 yr old boy. oddly enough he keeps asking to sit on the big potty. i will be buying a seat adapter for the big potty and try that. i have had to "get tough" and when he says he doesn't want to sit on te potty, i just bring him in there and usually he is mostly okay.

It doesn't sound as though your daughter is ready. Both of my girls (now 6 and 4 1/2) decided on their own when they wanted to start sitting on potty. I wouldn't push it b/c it will definitely backfire. Are you using a seperate potty on the floor, they're usually the least scary for small children. My first daughter potty trained in a week at 27 months and my second daughter trained in the same amount of time at 37 months, each kid is different. She will let you know though. Don't worry, she won't be in kindergarten in pull ups. Don't expect her to sleep through the night when she first trains either she'll be up every few hours wanting to try, or you'll have to use pull ups. Both of my girls where trained for at least six months b/f they slept in undies. Good luck, it's hard, but definitely don't push it, she's still young.

Dear M.,
Many children have a fear of the potty. Especially the type that sits on the toilet. Think about how scary it is for a toddler to see the water swirling down into the depths of nowhere. I suggest trying another type, like the small kind, just their size, that sits on the floor. Also, it's important to make potty training fun - give them a reason to want to go. A book or a toy is a helpful friend to get them to sit and go. And a huge hug afterwards helps too.
Good luck, W.

she just isn't ready yet, same happened with my son, he gave all the signals but couldn't relax, he wanted his diaper to go potty.

Reeses pieces candies and m and M s worked really well tho,
but not until about 7 months later.

Keep in mind you've told her that for the past 2.5 years that the diaper is where she should pee and poop, now suddenly you're telling her that she has to pee and poop in the potty. This is a huge change for a child that age. Give her time, work with her, consider going diaper-less and don't punish or praise regarding the potty. Just keep talking and suggesting. When you have to go, say "I'm going potty, you wanna sit and read a book with me?" or something like that.

Good luck.

We used a reward system with our girls. Perhaps, you can try rewarding your little one with stickers or m&ms just for sitting on the potty (this is a good way to introduce the potty and get used to the idea). Maybe you can let her put her favorite doll on a "pretend" potty to show her that the potty isn't scary. If she is still hesitant and won't sit on the potty at all, I would wait for a month or so (don't even mention or ask her to use the potty for the whole month) and then try again. I would not try to force her to go on the potty though because then she will think of it in a negative way and it could take longer to train her. Hope that this helps.

Hi M.-
My son is 2 1/2 and is doing the same thing as your daughter. He tells me pee-pee, or poo-poo. I have the same battle with him. What I have been doing now is reading one of his favorite books while he is on the potty. It's a battle to get him there, but when I tell him I'll read his favorite book, he usually puts up less of a fight. I have one of those portable potties. When he goes potty I let him choose a sticker to put on the back of the potty (right now it's Elmo) He only gets a sticker when he goes. It seems to be working so maybe you should give it a try.
Hope this helps-
K.

Don't feel bad my daughter will be 3 1/2 next month and will not go. She will sit on the potty seat and even the adult seat with the baby seat on it, and still nothing. She sits on the potty like a half hour too. I actually put it in the living room cause i know she likes to watch t.v. She tells me when she goes to change her diaper. I got her the pull ups, she wasnt confused. Whatever works for you, let me know.

Hi M.,

Potty time is hard. Do yu think she is really ready. Most kids do start at 2 1/2, but I found the more the subject is pushed the worse it gets. You could try a potty chart. And tell her teacher at school. I was a toddler teacher so I am very familiar with the potty. Consistancy is the best way to go. What ever is happening at home , she does at school or daycare. Everytime she has to go take her to the potty and if she pees on the potty she gets a sticker. Some kids don't like stickers and you may need something else.It's up to you and her as to what her incentive to use the potty might be. Good Luck! Hope this helped.

If it's too stressful for the 2 of you, then let it go for awhile until she's emotionally more ready. Physical signs aren't just the only signs of readiness. It's ok to wait a few more months and then approach it with some fun rewards to see if she is interested. Sometimes seeing some friends who go ont he potty might motivate, but that's different for all kids. Good luck, and as many MD's say, she won't go to kindergarten in diapers.

It sounds like she's not really ready. Give it a couple months and then try again.

Hi-
I'm training my almost 3 yr old now and what I have learned is that pressure backfires--big time. It has to be relaxing, to the point where it becomes her idea. Try having her sit while you read to her. If she doesn't want to, don't make a big deal about it and try again later. We just bought big girl underwear which we will try in a few days when we can hang out outside all day. I'm hoping that she will be upset if Dora or Cinderella get wet, and want to go on the potty! Good luck, and remember, it's frustrating for all involved so keep it as light as possible!

STOP! She's not ready! Let her lead you, if she hates the potty and you keep her on it you're setting up a negative experience...you'll both be miserable! I say stop for now and when she wants to go on the potty you'll know..she'll tell you and she'll train quickly when it's her idea!(mother of 5, 4 trained one still too young!) If you want to get her a potty or a seat keep it out so she can see it in the bathroom but don't mention it unless she brings it up first...keep the door open when you use the potty so she can see the routine...don't make it a big deal and it won't be one! Best of luck!