Potty Training - Portsmouth, VA

OK, I have two kids and two different solutions that worked for me. For my son, blue toilet bowl cleaner did the trick, we had tried everything and then when we went to my sisters he discovered he could change the water to "green" and it was a game for him, so we got it at home and Presto.

My two year old daughter would not go "number two" in the potty and was literally screaming. I couldn't bribe her with stickers or her favorite cinderella snacks. However she is truly a girlie girl and painting her nails as a reward did the trick! Now we goes like a charm!

As much as you may not like it you need to get her in underwear. Once she pees on herself and feels how yucky it is she should be more inclined to go to the potty. With my son Jacob I had to get rid of the pull ups they are just glorified diapers. When he peed on himself I made a big deal about how awful it must feel to be all wet and how much better it would be to go on the potty. It really worked. Pooping was another story I had to offer treats to get that process really rolling. I hope this helps. I know it's hard hang in there.

go ahead and put some underwear on her and let her have accidents. she needs to feel just how uncomfortable it is to be entirely wet. pull-ups (i think) are just for night time. m&m's or natural m&m's (a bit pricey) from whole foods are great rewards - really amph up the successes and call people like the we achieved world peace. get the "potty power" dvd and after 2-3 times, girls really "get it". sing the song with her, it rocks! hope this helps.
N.

L.,
Your daughter sounds a lot like mine. There were two things that finally worked after I tried everything you did. First, I did a potty prize box. I decorated a shoe box with princess wrapping paper and filled it with prizes and candy. Everytime she went potty she got a potty prize. There was a time when she would go a little just to get a prize but I figured she was going so that was the important thing. Once we got the potty part down then we worked on pooping. That was a little harder b/c it took more time to go and she didn't want to stop playing long enough. So, the second thing I did was I bought somehting big (these were fairy wings) that she had been wanting for a long time. I hung them in the bathroom where she could see them but not get them. I told her if she could go poop 3 days in a row w/o accident she could get the wings. After that worked for 3 days I did a Barbie (4-5 days) by then she was getting the hang of it. Also, I made a MAJOR deal about her going poop. It really worked. Good LUck!!!

I used an E-book called Potty Training in 3 Days and it has worked wonders. My son has been potty trained since 18 months with the help of this book and other friends have used it with the same success. If you do a google search I'm sure you'll be able to find it.

Hi L.,

There is a SAHM meetup group that may have some help with what you need.

The website is SAHM.meetup.com/

The Norfolk Attachment Parenting Group may have moms that deal with your concerns and be able to give you some suggestions. Hope this helps. D.

Have you tried the POTTY TRAINING book(s) by Gary Ezzo. They run only about $10 - well worth it. It lists all the signs of readiness for children and then walks you through the process of training them which varies for each child - between 1 and 10 days. Not bad! He has a lot of insight and works with others that have great backgrounds with children. Good luck! :-)

Hi L.,

My son went literally from absolutely no desire to sit on the potty one day to fully trained the next. He got a rash and cried when his diaper was on so I told him he could run around naked but he had to tell me when he needed to go potty. One day naked was all it took and he was in big boys the next day. NO PULL UPS. Good luck!

Take her out of pull ups altogether unless for nap or bedtime. You will have to do some extra laundry but it should do the trick. My yougest was 3.5 and also showed no interest although she knew what to do and when to do it. It took 3 days once I put her in Big Girl panties. Pull Ups are still too much like diapers and they can't feel the wet. Good luck - I know how frustrating it can be.

Dear L.,

If you can stop everything else you are doing and spend a week with this child at home, being near them wherever they are playing and so forth, and observing their behavior. Watching for any signs of discomfort, you may suggest they go to the bathroom as often as it takes for them to arrive in time to begin experiencing successes and creating a routine so that they can recognize the signals their body is giving them. It worked for mine, but they're all different.

Your daughter may be reverting to "baby" behavior since you have a baby in the house. My daughter responded to books about being a big sister. There are lots of great stories on this site about parents working with toddlers that have babies in the house.

As for potty training, I let my daughter have accidents in her underwear and immediately gave her a bath/rinse cool enough to be uncomfortable, to clean her up. It didn't take long for her to feel like going to the potty was better than getting a cold rinse.

Someone else wrote this and I may try it with my son if needed (he's only 5 months right now):

I bought a baby doll that pees and my son had to teach the doll how to use the potty. He was 3 at the time so he had a firm grasp on the HOW, he just chose not to use the potty. We made him reward the doll with tootsie rolls when she used the potty. He had to give the doll his tootsie rolls and he did not get any unless he used the potty. Well, he did not like having to give the doll his tootsie rolls so he quickly decided that he better use the potty like he was supposed to or the doll was going to "eat" all his candy. He honestly started using the potty in 45 minutes and he continued to do it from then on. Since then I have loaned the doll to several friends and they have all been successful with it. You can buy one of the dolls at Kmart for about $10. Good luck and let us know how it turns out! Oh and by the way, the doll used the training potty because she could sit on it without my son having to hold her on the big potty.

My daughter will be three next month. She did the same thing your daughter is doing. I just had to keep taking her every hour and ignoring the fits. She would sit for 5 minutes. If nothing happened, I put her back on the potty 15 min. later. You just have to be patient. My daughter now goes with less arguments and is so excited when she goes potty when we praise her. I gave up on the stickers. We just do high fives, and verbal praise. Oh! We also took her to pick her own panties. Every morning we remind her not to get "Pooh Bear", or "Blue" wet. Good luck!

L.,
I am a 43 year old mother of a 6 year old daughter and a5 year old son. We had the same problem with our son when he was 3. All the articles say don't push, but my doctor gave me some really good advise and I am going to pass it along.
If you know that she know when she needs to go and just is not doing it then it is not a potty training issue it is a control/power struggle issue. Only you the parents can make this decision. However, once you really think she knows, but is just not doing it then buy her some regular underware, not pull-ups. On a day or 2 when you do not have to go anywhere tell her she is a big girl and is going to act like one and as a reward she is going to wear big girl underware or go without any underware at all. When I did this to my son he screamed and cried and begged for his pull-ups for about an hour, and I just ignored all his pleas and went about my business. After that he put on the underware and only had a few daytime accidents. He stayed in night time pull-ups until he was 41/2 and by then they were dry everymorning so when we used up the last of that pack of pull-ups we didn't buy anymore. I hope this helps.
P. G

There are so many potty training ideas out there. Each child is different and what works for one may not work for another. However, from my experience I have to agree with many of the other moms and say stop using the pull-ups except for naps and bed time. You will slowly want to wean her away from that as well after she has mastered using the potty during awake hours; starting with her nap time. When using the big girl undies there may be frequent accidents at first, I found that devoting up to a week to stay home was helpful. Living in the country made it difficult to get far without using the pull-ups just to get to town without an accident. Staying home allowed us to focus on the training and deal with any accidents quickly.

Good Luck!

Sounds like she can do it! Try a "naked day." Turn up the heat and let her go without pants for a day and see how she does!

Hi L.. Potty training can be a real pain. I'm a mom of 2, now grown with kids of their own, so I have 3 grand-children ages 7,5 & 3. This suggestion has worked great in our family and I hope it will for you. Take her shopping for "big girl" panties. During the day let her wear them. Tell her if she wets them she has to wear them (this may sound cruel, but make her wear them for a little while.)
She will love the feel of the panties instead of the bulky pullups. It shouldn't take too long for her to start going potty like a big girl. Let her wear the pullups at night until she has gone a few weeks waking up dry or until your comfortable doing away with them. Don't forget to praise her when she goes potty. Her greatest reward for staying dry is her comfort. Good luck and God bless!
K.

My oldest, who was dry at night at three, but still having frequent accidents during the day when he was 4, finally adapted when we had him stay in the kitchen and basement only for play time. I knew he had the ability to stay dry for long periods because he would wake up dry after naps and at night. So his toys were in the kitchen and the play room. If he had an accident he changed his underwear and cleaned off his legs. No pull-ups. I guess he got tired of changing his clothes. He started to recognize the sensation that he had to go to the bathroom earlier and earlier until he wasn't having accidents. I tried really hard not to react emotionally. I didn't reward him or punish him. When he went on the potty I praised him and told him I was proud of him. When he had an accident I calmly told him to go change and get cleaned up. He's nine now- we survived. The second one trained herself in a couple of days and the last one is still an infant, so we'll see. I know it's hard when you're sure she's capable, but not interested. Good luck!
D.

If you've been going at since the summer, you probably need to take a break now for at least a couple weeks. She could be stressed out from it being the topic of daily living. Plus she has a new sibling.

I can understand how frustrating it is having to buy diapers/pull-ups for two at a time. However, I truly believe kids set their own time table to this developement. It's the one thing they have total control over.

Summer and warm weather are right around the corner. You could try again then and it may seem like a whole new thing.

I agree with Crystal. Its best to take a laissez faire approach with this one. I imagine that its probably a pain to change 2 sets of diapers but the no pressure route is the best. Unlike most, I dont favor the sticker or reward thing. Pooping and peeing in the potty or toilet is a natural thing for big people to do and Im not going to give an incentive for it.

If youre deadset on getting this done,though, I would like to suggest not using pull ups but just regular panties. That way she'll feel wetter than the pull ups. It will take about 3-4 days with LOTS of accidents. But at the end of the week, she'll be most likely potty trained. Accidents should be handled in a causal manner and to tell her "I know that when youre ready you'll go to the potty".

Good luck.

I hate to say this, but really, I swear this will be the best thing you can do, ignore it. If you can, use the cloth pants, they used to be called heavies, if not pull-ups and completely ignore it. If she uses the potty use praise and positive reenforcement. I also got my son the following book and a baby borjn potty seat. I read him the book in just like any other book, he just like it. Then left the potty seat (which they talk about in the book) in the main living space. One day (about 3-4 days later) he was playing with his trains, stopped, got up and went potty. Another thing if you have a few days to do it, let her be naked for 2-3 straight days. It's different to them if they have an accident. I recommend staying in one area that's easy to clean at first, like the kitchen. Really, pushing will cause her to push back because she will start to realize it's something she can control over you and don't punish it cause HUGE issues and will be much longer. I know it seems defeating, but trust me if you just go with this for a week or so, she'll most likely be potty trained much sooner than if you push. Here are the amazon links for the book and the potty (which comes in several colors):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000CSBP18
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0689874235

My turning 2 year old is almost potty trained (minus the complete understanding of the wiping afterwards concept) and all we did was take her pants off and put the potty in a common area of the house. We told her to use the potty when she needed to, and have only had 1 accident in the 2 weeks we've spent training.

Might try that?

L.,
As a mother of seven I understand this problem. There is an old book called "Toilet Training in One Day". It is a method that was developed in institutions for the developmentally delayed. You have to stay home with your daughter alone for an entire day from wake up to bedtime. You figure out her favorite drink and food. An example, twinkies and punch. EVery hour you offer a little bit of the forbidden food and drink nothing else. You actually sit with them like a little tea party and then go to the bathroom with them talking to them all the time. Don't make them feel like they have to commit to actually peeing but they need to agree to sit on the tiolet or potty seat. They are just having a pleasant day with you. Again and again until they have trained themselves to go at will. They begin to learn to relax their bladder at the act of actually sitting on the pot. Just like every other woman that goes into the rest room with her friends at a restaurant and feel like going at the first mention of restroom from a female friend. It really does work.

B.