Pottry Training Soon-to-be 3 Year Old Girl

Updated on April 25, 2008
R.S. asks from East Haddam, CT
5 answers

My smart, capable, early walker, talker and just about every other milestone, is proving to be a tough study for potty training. She can remove a wet diaper, wipe her bottom, and put a new one on!! She has a nice spot behind our couch where likes to work out the #2's- when we have guests/company she goes up to her room---how thoughtful! She knows when she poops and requests diaper changes as needed...but..Before you respond, understand this: I have tried letting her do it "when she's ready," big-girl undies, pull-ups (2 different styles)promises of chocolate, skittles, m&m's, a ferrari...we've tried praise, being tough, tried a little potty, tried having her watch mommy, tried having her watch daddy, tried peer pressure (ALL her friends are potty trained, even the younger ones), tried appealing to her gentle nature with stories about how much happier your poop is when it can go swim with it's friends...seriously, I'm losing it and I'm done giving her "her time" as I feel it is truly a matter of sheer laziness...anyone else out there with an unmotivated, slacker pre-schooler that has potty success stories??

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So What Happened?

After a pantless weekend (such a different meaning now with children...) we have been consistently going on the potty! Even dropped a #2 this afternoon. She's managed to stay dry when away from the house and is doing quite well! Yay for tough love and hooray for cold turkey! I'm now using all the "how to potty train" books for toilet paper...at least this way they'll be good for something! Ha!

More Answers

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J.P.

answers from Boston on

I think you must be talking about my daughters. We are going through the exact same thing. I am beginning to wonder if it has anything to do with new babies? My youngest was born in November 07. I am going to try going cold turkey, next week. Big girl undies, and constant trips to the potty. Wish me luck!

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

I'm a big fan of going "cold turkey". take away the diapers and pull-ups and put her in undies. it also helps to let her go nakie when you are at home and can catch her going pee and then make a mad dash for the bathroom. there's not much more you can do. It sounds like you've tried it all.

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C.G.

answers from Boston on

my daughter will be 3 in august and i am having the same issue. i have tried everything. her potty has been sitting in the bathroom since she was 18 months! but i finally came to realization that i think i am more stressed over it because of the pressure of seeing her friends already conquering it. and what do other parents think of me not being able to train her. we as moms(all of us do it) tend to compare same age children. i finally got comfortable with my parenting and realized that this is her last thing that she has control over with me. she is hanging on and if she needs that right now, it's okay. financially it sucks especially that i have a new baby on the way, but in the big picture, it's really not abnormal. good luck and i bet when we both stop asking, they will come around!

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R.B.

answers from Denver on

Hi R., one of my best friends had the same experience, her daughter battled her until she was just shy of her 4th birthday! My friend tried everything you did and it was so frustrating for her. Her daughter was the only girl in swim diapers in her swimming lessons, and even that didnt deter her. She finally gave up, said to her daughter ( who by the way was such an easygoing child in every other respect) ok you do what you want, stay in diapers. the VERY NEXT day, her daughter said she was ready to use the potty and from that moment on did. It was a battle of wills, pure and simple, and on this one my friend just had to concede. Every day she had been saying , if you choose the potty today then you can have new playdoh, that was her daughters obsession, so when she finally did she gave her a huge new set of playdoh. Maybe you can try a big reward like that, say to her that when you do choose the potty you can have x. Maybe buy that already and have it in sight but not within reach as extra incentive. good luck!

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C.P.

answers from Hartford on

If there isn't a time issue you're working with - for instance, is she going to go to a daycare/preschool for which she needs to have her potty-learning down pat? - then I think letting her do it in her own time is still a good idea. My daughter started to learn how to use the potty at 2, then changed her mind and didn't start again until she was 3 1/2 yrs old.

I finally figured out that it was a control issue with my daughter; the more I (or my mother) asked her if she needed to use the potty, the more she refused to use it. I finally instructed EVERYONE in the family not to mention it to her. Even if she was doing the "potty dance", we didn't say a THING. Then, I sat down & explained to her that SHE was the Boss of her own body. She decided when and where she was to Poop & Pee; I told her that it was important for the health of her body that it be allowed to get rid of it's waste at least once a day...and that her skin would be MUCH healthier if it didn't have waste sitting on it several times a day & night, every day & night. She thought about this - said "Okay", and immediately started using The Big Potty. :)

I don't promise this'll happen with your daughter, but it is a good idea to empower them by telling them why you are hoping they will learn this; and I did find that Bribery and Peer Pressure were useless things to try. Bad examples to set, too.

Good luck!

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