Pee-pee Potty Trained, but Won't Poop in the Potty!

Updated on January 08, 2009
L.A. asks from San Antonio, TX
8 answers

I am so proud of my precious daughter, she is 2yrs & 5 months old & we just spent the extended new year weekend (Fri - Mon) potty training. We had nothing but accidents Fri - Sunday, then Sunday evening she finally made pee-pee in the potty with 2 accidents following, then two consecutive successful pee-pees in the potty. Then on Monday, no wet accidents! She told me when she had to pee the whole day! Well on Sunday, she pooped in her panties & she didn't have a bowl movement yesterday (mon), hasn't had one today either. The problem is that she does not want to go poo-poo in the potty. She asks for a pamper or pull up (she is wearing panties during day, pull up at night). I feel so bad, because I know she HAS to go, but doesn't want to in the potty. I almost caved in to putting a pamper on her so she could poo, but I didn't want to reverse all the hard work we did. I've tried bribes, candy etc., I've sat their and gone myself (gross, but willing to try anything) to show her that mommy does it & it's safe, normal & ok. When she pooed her panties, i dumped it in her potty to show her, that that's where it goes & that's where she should poo just like she pees. I've tried to tell her that it's ok to poo in the potty, I've sat with her, but she is just not having it. I do not want her to hurt herself, make herself sick, as she is prone to constipation & we have to ocassionally give her mirolax. Any advice would be so great & appreciated. Help moms! What can I do to help her to be ok with going poo-poo in the potty?

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V.H.

answers from Houston on

You are doing so well. Deal with the poopy panties, she will get the hang of it. She will get better as time goes on. Have her clean the poopy panties, when its not real,real bad.
You may have to throw away a pair or two, you never know. All kids are different, my son would make poop to the potty then pee in his pants! Around 3 is when they really get it all!!

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

I understand this problem more than some, and know how frustrating it can be. Hang in there, it takes time to get them to understand it's ok to let the poop go in the toilet. I'm not saying this will be your problem...but it took me 2 years to get my daughter fully poo poo trained as we call it, because she's peed in the potty since she was 2 years and some months old (most the time we would use underwear, unless in public, then we'd use pull-ups...but when we used them at night she would just wait all day and then poop once she had her pull-up on for the night...it's a double edged sword). My daughter is especially strong willed and very independant, which did not help us a whole lot.

From my experience looking back...if I were you...just keep your cool, even when you want to explode, because that was my downfall with my little miss, and it made things very difficult for a very long time! Just encourage her, let her know accidents happen and then show her where the poop goes. Also when she has an accident don't humiliate her for it...just have her clean up her own mess the best she can first, before you help...for a lot of kids this will be enough insentive to poop in the potty and not the undies...for others you just have to find that one thing they can't refuse...like candy, junk food,stickers with charts, toys, trampoline, a dog, a cat, or trips to chuckee cheese,you get the idea. For us, it was a blasted FISH! I even asked her if she would poop in the potty to go to Disney World...but nooo it was a fish (I'm not complaining about the fact the fish was cheaper...just that it was as simple as a fish, and I wish I knew sooner). I guess you can tell we tried just about everything...and for 90 percent of kids, candy would have been enough. In our case since she was four, it was a power struggle, mixed with a lot of mistakes I made in the beggining like lossing my temper...Sooo I guess what I'm trying to say is be as patient as you can and don't compare her to the progress of her friends, it will drive you nuts. Good Luck, and if you have any questions, you can ask me what worked and didn't for me (hind sight is 20/20).

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

Don't give up on her!! And don't cave to the pull up either. Just tell her when she has accidents that is gross and poo poo goes in the potty. it takes at least 6 months to potty train a child. just tell her she is a big girl now and she doesn't need diapers. Tell her the pull ups are night night panties(that's what i told my daughter).

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K.T.

answers from Houston on

Don't force her!!! My SIL potty trained her oldest TOO young, and has a 6 year old that still has accidents - mostly poop. I probably was a little late, as I waited until summers to potty-train, so both of mine were 3. The upside to being patient is that there were very few, if any, accidents. I wouldn't scold or punish her. I would rather change her into a pamper than have to clean poopie out of underwear (my least favorite) Accept what she has accomplished, praise, praise, praise her, and the rest will come when she's ready.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

it takes a lot longer for many kids to poo on the potty. esp. since she is prone to holdiing it in, i would just let her poo in a diaper and not try to rush things. many many children are not ready until 3.

K.N.

answers from Austin on

Hi L.: My daughter developed a slight poop in the potty fear. I remember hearing about a coworker's toddler who was having "fear" issues towards household objects (the smoke detector, electrical outlets, etc.) and our health insurance helpline suggested letting the child decorate the object with stickers. So I let my daughter stick as many of her favorite stickers as necessary on her potty (just not on the seat or inside the bowl). I must say it did help alleviate her poop in the potty fear... Although, honestly she didn't get over it she was more like 2 year and 9 months. Your daughter might need a couple more months to embrace it...? I just kept giving the same message and reward incentives (I made a toy chest, kind of like the toy surprises at a dentist office when candy no longer held a fascination) until it clicked.

However, I will also add that we don't have constipation issues. I did notice some children's fiber vitamins a few days ago at HEB (in the organic section, not where the regular vitamins are; I ended up getting the calcium version). It was one of the Animal Parade varieties by Nature's Plus. You might want to start her on some of those (all natural fiber) supplements... couldn't hurt especially if she is prone to constipation. Also, my daughter actually prefers water to milk and juice during meals. Maybe if you up your daughter's water consumption that will also make her more regular. My point is this: My understanding is if your body is properly hydrated (and you are not constipated for other reasons), you physically can't hold poop inside indefinitely. The muscles of the large intestines are designed to move waste through and expel it... preferably with your conscious help but that is not necessary. As long as the wastes aren't hardened, your daughter simply can not hold it inside indefinitely. So if you focus on ensuring she is not constipated, she will have to go ever 2-3 days...

I assume also that, when you refer to potty, you mean her little plastic one? If you are trying to get her to go in the big one, wow... That might be too big of a hill for her to climb initially (e.g., getting over the fear of pooping and the fear of the big potty which is bigger than her and noisy). My daughter is now comfortable on the "mommy potty" at home but still has a potty fear in regard to public toilets.

Also, when she had her 1 poop accident in her princess panties, she watched me throw them away. Message was clear: we throw away the princess panties if you do that. She didn't like that they got put in the trash... She's a bit protective of her princess, dora, mickey mouse, doggy/kitty decorated panties. It worked (so far).

Good luck! -Karen

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M.H.

answers from Longview on

hi L. most kids are scared to sit on the potty to poop. they sometime go and hide. i say, just take your child and show her the potty and tell her this where we go to poop. i never scolded my kids i just kept explaining over and over.i raised 5 there all grown. i also had a pre school and child care. i hope it works for you.
aloha....M.

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R.B.

answers from El Paso on

I wish you luck we are trying to potty train my 31 month old son and 18 month old daughter. I have really bad constipation problems and my kids are headed in that direction (yes I drink lots of water 100+ oz a day) My problem is from surgeries and scar tissues. We are letting the kids have a diaper to poop. Then they have to get changed.

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