Overwhelmed

You have a right to feel overwhelmed. You must tell your husband what you need - he is not a mind reader. On his days off ask for a couple of hours of help each day. If he's away 12 hours a day it does not leave a lot of time for him either. You definitely are not getting enough sleep. Can you arrange a couple of the Mother Mornings OUt at a local church? This could be a big help to you. With another baby due in November you are going to need more rest as the pregnancy progresses. Try to simplify as much as possible now. You may be doing more housework than is absolutely essential. Put awy anything that takes time to dust or makes cleaning harder. When you cook, make enough for 2 or 3 meals and freeze them where you are not cooking every day. Make an effort to getting your son to bed a little later and to sleep later in the morning. I know it would be very difficult to do your job with the baby awake as you could not give it your full attention. Is there a teenager in the neighborhood that could come over after school for a couple of hours a few times a week and let you either work or nap? You are going to need this help even more after the new arrival. If money is tight are there any expenses you can cut to give you a little for babysitting?? V.

I too am in the same boat. I live close to North Myrtle Beach. Not too sure where you are from me since I just moved here, but if you're close....we could hang together and vent!!!! I have an 18 month old daughter and a husband who works over 60 hrs a week. We've moved 3 times in 22 months to THREE different states. I've been in SC for a month now and I'm so tired! We went home for my step brothers wedding last week, and my mother watched our dtr so we could attend the wedding. It was the FIRST time we've been out since she was born! We've never been out to dinner, or had a date night. I feel like I'm losing my mind too! No friends, no family around, it sucks! You need to ask for help from your husband. You need to work out some sort of schedule so you can get some rest. Why does your son wake so early??? When does he go down? How long does he nap? Perhaps adjusting his schedule a bit, might help yours. Keep in touch. I'm always around if you want to vent. I feel your pain.

Good-God-of-Moses woman - you feel like a wimp??? I got overwhelmed just reading it through! Men can be wonderful, but they very seldom mind read - tell him you are exhusted, ask him to take your son and go get a three hour nap! You are depriving your brain, your body, your baby on the way of at least 2.5 hours of rest a night - that adds up! If for some reason,(like maybe you've convinced him you ARE superwoman) he won't help, go to your doctor and discribe all this to him/her and ask for his/her help explaining it to him. When I was pregnant I needed MORE sleep not less. Honey youv'e got to realize YOU need as much if not more consideration in the family as everyone else and YOU have to claim it. There are no winky buttons and prizes for being supermom - just exhaustion, frustration, mental breakdowns and saggy, baggy eyes ;o) - seriously, give yourself permission to take a break!!!! Read "Lights Out!" and "The Wendy Complex" if you need more convincing - better yet - take a nap (with noise protectors, in a dark cool room and the phone off)!
Best of luck,
Nat

N., you have every reason to feel overwhelmed. I felt tired just reading your to do list. Reason to cry? Hey, your pregnant and have a toddler. Add to that a husband that does shift work while you do part time work and it is a wonder you are even sane.

When I felt that way, I sat down and wrote a list of all the things I have to do daily. Then I showed it to my husband and asked which one of these he could take over. Please notice I did not say 'which he could help with'. The house and kids are his too so he should be working with you. Start planning 'ME TIME'. Put it on the calendar. Pick a time that Daddy is home and awake and then stick to it. What you do with your ME TIME is up to you but I suspect at first it will just be sleeping.

With baby #2 on the way, you need to establish this now. If you don't take care of yourself you will not be able to care for your family.

A little about me:
Empty nester of 4 kids who is very glad I had my children while I was young.

You really need some mommy alone me time. You need this time at least once a week for at least a few hours at a time. Without this time you are not able to "recharge" and be the mom you want to be. You need that time for the sake of your marriage, your family and yourself. Sit down and explain to your husband that you need this time and set up a scheduled time every week to do this. Plan it so this way your husband is prepared. Make it the time he is awake 11:00 to about 1:30 or so. Needing this time does not make you a failure as a mom but not taking the time will make you fail because it will refresh you to be a better mom and wife. You were a person before you got married and had kids and you still are that person. Don't put yourself on the back burner. Good Luck

Sounds like your husband has only 4 hours, before he goes to work again. If he has weekends free, that would be a good time for the two guys to pack up stuff and to go off to the park and all.
During the week, is there a church nearby that has Mother's Morning Out or that type of drop-in program? Your son is old enough to benefit a lot from being with other adults and especially kids his own age. It may also help him to transition to the new baby and all the changes that a new sibling entails! S. B.

I do not think you are off your rocker! You have a very full plate! Then adding the pregnancy, I thought, WHOA!!! I understand that you are between a rock and a hard place with your husband's schedule...wanting to support him and his hard work at work, but I also think (especially with you pg.!) that he should also support you! Especially now! You need naps and rest time! You two need to sit down and make some sort of schedule where you both are getting enough sleep. Yes, we women due tend to wear all the hats, but we also need to share the responsibilities when needed, like now, with a baby, and one on the way. My husband tells me he cant read my mind, and to tell him when I need help. Maybe that is the same with yours! Good luck and congratulations with the new baby!

N., it is absolutely normal that you are feeling overwhelmed. True, some people handle much more than that and seem to get by, but I can remember being a young mother with two small babies and feeling overwhelmed at the time and looking back, I'm sure it was because everything was new to me and I, like you, was not getting enough sleep at night to feel rested enough to handle it all. Having a baby around is time-consuming (putting it mildly) and being pregnant now adds to the degree of difficulty in handling all your responsibilities. This, too, shall pass. Nothing remains the same, everything changes except God, so this phase of your life will eventually change to something else. You CAN get through this. Organization is the key to control of your life right now and from what you write here, it looks like you have handled that part of it fairly well thus far. You seem to have a schedule for you and the baby and your work. It does sound, however, like you need to involve your husband a little more. So many young wives seem hesitant to tell their husbands what they need and this can lead to added stress and unhappiness. Try telling him that you are feeling overwhelmed and ask him for his help. He is, after all, one-half of the parenting mixture in your household and neither of you should expect you to fulfill 100% of that parenting responsibility. Because he works does not give him an "out". After all, you work, too! Most of the time, if a wife asks for help, she will get that help. So ask him and go from there. A lot of times, the fathers tend to think the mothers are home, so they must handle it all by themselves, but that's not reality -- it's a dream world that used to exist years ago, but in this day and age, fathers participate, fathers help out, fathers shoulder more responsibility other than just providing a paycheck. Besides, you provide a paycheck, too. You deserve and need his help, so do not be afraid to ask for it, and do not feel guilty for needing help. If you could do this all by yourself, what would you need a husband for? You are in a partnership, so call on your partner and let him do his part. He probably is unaware of what he needs to do for you and your child(ren). Most men are, sad to say, completely clueless in these things. It's not their fault -- it's their chemical makeup, a part of their brain that has not yet been trained to see the need and fill it. So you have to help him by telling him directly that you 1. need help, 2. expect him to be that help, and 3. appreciate every little thing he does in response to fulfill that need. And don't forget, in talking with him, that sugar truly does work better than vinegar to attract flies. In other words, talk to him not in a blaming tone, but in a tone that says, "you are wonderful and you had no idea, so now I'm letting you know this little secret -- your help is needed" tone. Let him take over completely so you can start your evening work earlier and get to bed earlier. You can do it. Hang in there and good luck!

It is very normal for you to feel overwhelmed and like you want to cry. You NEED to get some help from your husband or friends or family! Its not healthy for you to be sleeping 5.5 hours, especially while you're pregnant! It also sounds like you really need to have a heart to heart discussion with your husband on how overworked you really are. Try to approach it not as a whining session, but more like here's the list of what I have to do daily/weekly...here's what I can get done and still feel sane...this is what I need help with. At the very least, ask for him to get up one hour earlier (ie sleep 7 hours and get up at 10 instead of 8 hours getting up at 11) and take your son so you can nap for an hour every day, or at least once a week. It sounds like daddy needs to spend more time with his son anyway. Just for you reference, and an additional idea of how to handle things, I am a SAHM. My husband works long hours too (typically 12+ hours/day M-F). I don't get the housework done all the time, and I don't have a job outside of taking care of my daughter. Each evening, my husband helps with our 8 month old daughter while I finish dinner prep and do some other cleaning around the house for about an hour. We also sit down on Sat morning and figure out how we can both have time to do things we need to get done while the other watches the baby. I get several hours on the weekend days to do what I need to do, no baby attached. Good luck to you as you sort this out. I hope you can get some help and some rest soon!

I feel overwhelmed with my 18 month old sometimes and I don't work. Sometimes it can be stressful to feel cooped up at home. But I'm lucky that my husband who works fulltime helps with doing chores, and helps with our little one. He is the one to get up for her when she cries most of the time and first thing in the morning, change her diaper and give me the 10-15 minutes I need to get going. So this is in his blood, thankfully. He is really considerate. But I also communicate when a day went well and I'll do more of the care giving until she's in bed, or if a day went bad and he'll take over. Communication is key. The workload of providing care to an 18 month old should be more equally distributed(particularly with you being pregnant) and the stress should be equally felt if it is there. Honestly, men should do more when their partner is pregnant because you need the rest. Address this with him or it will only get more overwhelming when the second child comes.

I know how you feel!!! Mine is away on a carrier right now so it's just me and the two little ones. They're five and two. We just went to six flags and he says he's jealous as he's about to go scuba diving in Hawaii. Ha! I've found myself wanting to find a corner or the tub, and just sit and cry. Let it out!!!! It's not much but it will help relieve some of that built up tension. I love my husband to death and he loves the kids to death but he wasn't the best during the pregnancy or during the early months. I wanted to have a postpartum depression moment but I couldn't because I was the only milk factory in the house getting up to pump every three hours and feeding in between. You just need to speak up. I tried to let him do the right thing but he tells me that he just doesn't get hints. That I needed to just come out and say what it is that I want. Try making a schedule for you and your family. Your son is not too young for a schedule. I'm sure he was on one for feeding when he was younger. Put that nap time for yourself on the schedule while your husband is up or do your accounting work during that time. Let him know that this is what you should do for your son between this time while I'm doing work. Even schedule certain house work on certain days. I've become one of those once a week cleaning moms. The kids help pick up their stuff around the house and we make sure that it's in their rooms even if it's not in the right toy bin, LOL! Then on cleaning day, they know they have their movie while I'm cleaning and they try to leave me alone. On top of everything, I still have a hard time falling asleep when he's not here so I'm still trying to build up the hours of sleep every night. Congrats on the little one on the way and good luck with everything else. Just remember it is okay to take a moment to stop and scream, cry or both. ;)

N.-
First off I just want to say you are not off your rocker! I know I have felt this way plenty of times and I am sure everyone has at some point. Two things that have worked for me- ( I am a mother of a 2 year old and a 9 month old). 1. You need to sit your husband down and have a talk with him- to tell you the truth- he probably does not know that you feel this way. When I talked to my husband about it- he did not know I was feeling overwhelmed, they just don't see things the way that we do. 2.When you son takes a nap- you need to take a nap also!! Don't worry about the housework- it is not going anywhere and will get done whenever you have time. You need to take care of yourself first otherwise you will be no good to your son or your husband. Especially being pregnant- I am sure you are exhausted. My OBGYN actually gave me that advice- (Don't worry about the housework!!!) If it gets too bad then tell your husband that you just can not do it all. When your second baby comes- it will probably get worse before it gets any better- but you need to try to put them on the same routine- so that you can nap when they are napping!!! Also-if your anything like me- I can't stand for the house to be messy and it was hard for me to nap when it was- but I do it and it is so much better- and then I do the housework a little at a time- I will but the kids in their jumpy seats and turn on a 30 minute video and go to the laundry or wash the dishes- and I might even find time for a shower!! But- really the first thing you need to do is let your husband know how you feel!! Do you have any relatives or friends close by that can help? Don't be afraid to ask for help either. I know what you are going through- so just hang in there and it will get better. Let me know how things work out.
S.

While your husband is there (and awake!) from 11-3, you need to tell him that you need a nap, then take one! Men don't generally think to offer these things but if you let him know that you need it, he should oblige. You especially need to take care of yourself right now. It will also be a good bonding time for your husband to spend that quality time with your son before number 2 is born.
Good luck!

Dear N.,
YES feeling overwhelmed and actually crying (not just wanting to) is normal when you have little ones, especially when you're pregnant.
I'd recommend asking for what you need, specifically. ("Honey, would you mind taking "son" to the park for a while so I could take a nap?" or "Would you give 'son' his bath and putting him to bed tonight so I can get started with work a little earlier?"). In all fairness...he won't know what you need unless you ask.
The idea of him starting to take over a part of your son's care now will help when the baby gets here, since you will have to tag team them at that point.
The idea that you could wear all the hats all the time is NUTS (but not all that uncommon I'm afraid!).
Also, you really may want to think about doing your accounting work earlier while your husband cares for you son. You need to take care of your health (which means at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night....especially while pregnant and nursing) or you will be no good to anyone. One of the best things that ever happened when my daughter was an infant was that I had to work weekends, which meant my husband was on daddy duty full time at least one day a week. While it was hard for me to leave her it strengthened their relationship and made him so much more confident. I think sometimes dad's don't do b/c they feel a little like they don't know how b/c mom's do it all the time. One more thing....if he does whatever it is you asked him to do...live with how he does it and say THANKYOU, even if it's not how you would have done it. Otherwise he won't be likely to do it again. (For example, I leave for work early in the morning so my husband does the morning routine...my little ones sometimes wear some pretty interesting outfits that he picked out...but they are dressed and fed and happy so i don't get to complain).
Lastly, think about what they tell you on an airplane...if the oxygen masks drop down put yours on first....and then take care of others around you who need help.
Hope this makes sense...I haven't had my coffee yet :-)

It is normal...you are overworked and tired and maybe some baby blues. Some fathers will cooperate and get involved other do not. If you can afford it have a baby sitter come over one or two days a weeks for the time you can afford so you could have some help and some time for yourself even if only to take a nap and catch up on your rest. Do you have any family that could give you a hand?

Call if you need someone to talk to Ms. Yvonne ###-###-####

You're not off your rocker - not even close! You are HUMAN! Tell your husband exactly what you posted here. He won't know if you don't tell him what you need. Men aren't very good at picking up on subtle clues, as I have learned from personal experience...
Try to hang in there, get as much rest as you can & keep a close support system. You're going to need it. With another baby on the way, things really aren't going to get any easier.
But above all else, TELL your husband how you're feeling!
Best of luck to you N....

Dear N.,
oh I feel your pain! My husband and I worked split shifts for the first 16 months of our son's life-- he was working second shift like your husband and I was supposed to be able to go to work in the mornings (but always late because my husband would sleep in because of his work schedule just like yours) and then I was making up the difference by working from home after I put our son to bed-- doing the same 5 hour sleep thing that you're doing right now. At some point I couldn't handle it anymore. And because I wasn't good at asking for help (not in a way that my husband was receptive to anyways! always too late-- after I was really frustrated and angry) the stress just built up until I was super resentful and angry (and probably overreacting because of a lack of sleep) and my husband was actually withdrawing more and more rather than stepping up like I needed him to because it wasn't exactly a pleasant situation for him either!
I agree with the other comments that your husband might be able to help more from 11-3, but I also know from experience that it is hard to demand that he spend his little free time taking care of your little one, especially if he's working long hours at a stressful job-- second shift is really hard, since all of your "down time" (time to relax or to get something done around the house or to run errands) is all before work rather than after work-- it really messes with some people and is definitely h*** o* family life. I would instead suggest that you find a pre-school or part-time daycare to take your son to in the mornings (or alternatively maybe you could find a neighbor or someone to watch him-- I just think it might be easier if it's out of your house so that you have some space for a minute). That way you could get some work done in the mornings, have a chance to have family time or share duties at lunch/early afternoon and then still have one-on-one time with your son all afternoon and time for yourself (and a decent bedtime!) in the evenings. You and your husband could even share the duty of taking your son to and from the sitter's-- you could take him in the morning and he could pick him up at lunch. That way the boys would also have their one-on-one time and it would be easy for them to go to a park or out to lunch together, giving you that extra half hour or so to yourself.
For the longest time I didn't accept or look for help from outside because I thought that we should be able to take care of everything ourselves, but after having gone through a major family crisis (marriage counseling, separation, the works!) we've figured out that it's much wiser to get help where we can so as to be able to concentrate on the important things in life. I know it might feel like that would mean that you'll be spending less time with your son, but if you're better rested, the time you'll spend together will be even better quality time. Also, your son is the perfect age to start spending some time away from mom and dad and to learn to socialize more (not to mention that it'll be great for him to learn how to share before the new baby comes! smile) And I know it's hard to decide to spend the money on childcare too when you're used to doing the job yourself and it is so expensive! but you're spending the money so that you can work (so hopefully the money balances out) and for your own sanity (which is really worth the dough!)
I know I'm going on too long, but I empathize so much (the whole situation just sound SO familiar!) that I just have to say again... hire some help! You're worth it. It's part of prioritizing so that you can do everything that you need to be able to do to take care of your family. Your son will probably really enjoy being out of the house and with other people once he gets used to it and it will take some of the stress off of you so that you can take care of yourself and the little one on the way and will help ensure that you don't take your feelings of being overwhelmed out on the two that are around and mean the most to you (your husband and son). Ask for help from your husband, but really hire outside help because it sounds like his plate is probably pretty full too.

Good luck! A.

N.,
You need to express your needs to your husband. I think asking him to take your son out of the house so that you can nap or do whatever you want to do freely & without interference is a wonderful idea! HOWEVER most men NEVER ask their wives the one question they would ALWAYS like to hear from them & that is "what can I do to help?" My husband is retired & I still work full time & although I have hinted & have asked him to ask me "what he can do to help" he still will not do it. So in order for him to get a few things accomplished around the house, yard, & in the community, I leave him written lists or e-mails. Husbands LOVE to accuse us of "nagging", & our "nagging" could so easily be avoided if they would ask us DAILY that one simple question. If they did ask us that question, & we didn't give them any "assignments" & we still were frustrated, then we would only have ourselves to blame. You need to be assertive in a tactful way using phrases such as "I need" & "I would like". Good luck & I hope that you get the response that you want & need.
N. in Marietta

All I can say is bless your heart! And I am in the same boat only my son is 2 1/2 and my baby girl is due in November also! You are definitely not off your rocker. Husbands just DON'T get it. I don't even have a part time job to keep up with and I feel overwhelmed alot of times too. I just get really tired and frustrated with myself for not being able to keep up with everything. One thing my husband does do is about every 6-8 weeks he takes our son on an overnight to his dad's house and I clean my whole house and then have some time just to myself. It keeps me sane. They have a great time and so do I. It's a win/win. Maybe you could do something like that. Or maybe on dad's day off you could suggest they spend some father/son time together for a couple of hours going to ChickFilA for lunch and to play or a picnic to the park (if it's not stinkin' hot!). Also, if you know of a local church that does a Mother's Morning Out program that you can bring him to 2 mornings a week. (I think they start with school though). I remember 16-18 months was a tough time for me but it actually got a little better for a while until he turned 2 1/2 and the past 2 months have been VERY challenging. Anyway, just a few ideas I had and just wanted to let you know you are NOT alone!!!!!

I feel like you just said it exactly how I feel!
I am a FT working mother with an 18mo old beautiful smart little girl who is really starting to test me, a loving husband who works a lot and I think is still in mind a bachelor, and an 17 yr old nephew who moved in about 10 mos ago. I was at my breaking point a couple of weeks ago and I feel I have yet resolved it. I feel like I should be superwoman yet my body, and emotions don't feel the same. I have decided not to have any more children until my little one is at least 4 or 5 for that same reason.
My husband does very little and the only person I have to give me a break is my parents, whom I feel guilty for calling on so much. I really feel for you especially with another on the way. My feelings have taken such a toll on my marriage and life in general. I am not the same person!
I wish I could give you some encouragement and comfort but just know that you are not alone and we are not superwomen and there comes a time when our husbands are going to have to get up off there duffs and help. Mine takes more naps than I could ever dream of having in a week. He has only gotten up with our little girl probably 1 time since she was born. I can relate with the lack of sleep. She is in daycare and I still feel this way I can only imagine how you feel being at home all day!

Howdy N.-
You quite simply cannot function on 5 1/2 hours of sleep nor should you ever be made to think so. I am a HUGE proponent of people getting enough sleep, water and nutrition. I am the mother of a 10 month old and I get nine hours of sleep a night and if I don't, I am tired all day. How much do you sleep when just left to your own devices? That's how long you should sleep every night and never, ever feel like you are a wimp or guilty about it. (My husband naturally sleeps for 8 hours, the average ) I am not sure what you can do to rearrange your schedule but do it quickly and get in bed by 9:00.
Sorry I am such a preacher on this but lack of sleep and stress all lead to poor health, unhappiness, weight gain, and lots of problems down the road. Americans as a whole do not get enough sleep and there seems to be some kind of pride in overdoing it. Don't buy into that! You can get all you need to get done in 16 hours a day ... and if you can't then something's got to give. I wish you wide awake, happy, relaxed days. If you need a pep talk, write back and I'll give you my phone number and a few hours break from your son.
K.

I wish you could "accidentally" let your husband see what you wrote here. It would probably be very enlightening for him to see it in this format. I'm sure pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep have a lot to do with your feelings of being overwhelmed. I have five children and work from home doing accounting for my husband's business, so I have some idea of how it can be. You may want to try www.flylady.net. It is wonderful and can really help you feel not so alone. It also is a big help in figuring out how to get it all done. (supportive and free...the best kind). I wish you the best.

You are not alone. I think most mother's feel this way, but just won't admit it. I think you and your hubby really need to talk about how over whelmed you are. My husband is a workaholic too, but he still helps me out around the house. But we had to have a talk to get him involved. He didn't just step up and do it. Keep in mind that men will do exactly what you ask them to do. No more and no less. They are not like us and will do things that need to be done, because they see the need. They will just wonder why you haven't done that. Not realizing you haven't sat down all day to eat your bon bons or watch Oprah. So don't expect that. Tell him what you need and when you need it done. That is how they operate.

You need to let him do the task without critizing him about how he does it or go back and redo it the way you like. This will only discourage him and he will stop helping out.

Let him know that you are drowning and that you need these tasks to be his responsibily, henceforward, and not just for today or for the next two weeks.

I found that if my husband did the laundry, ironed uniforms, provided dinnner 2x's a week (I don't care if he brings it home, or fries it up in a pan, I just don't want to have to be responsible for dinner), and take the girls to school and pick them up from their afternoon activities. (I will pick them up from school and take them off at thier activities.) Just doing these few things helps me out a bunch. While they are in thier after school activities I can go home and get dinner ready. And some days get my youngest started on her homework.

So you need to get him involved or ask for a maid that he pays for.

Make a list of things that you need help with and let him pick out a few.

I hope you have a guy that will hear your disparation and come to your rescue. Best of luck with the new baby and your juggle with life.

We all need a little help.

I am not even working and feel that way sometimes, luckily me & my husband have already been through the rocky part and he listened, give your husband a chance to listen to! It's amazing what happens to them when we catch them on a listening day LOL cause we all know it mostly goes in one ear and out the other with them! Maybe it would help if you started keeping a daily diary of everything you do or have to do and keep it posted where he can see it i/e refrigerator, not for "him" persay but so you can keep track of your day, if he asks. but you def need to take ALL the advice given to you and take a break, a walk, take a nap or a bath, but do something for yourself so that you dont end up resenting yourself or your family.

Hi N.,

First, Congratulations!, and Second, welcome to Motherhood. :) It is very understandable to feel overwhelmed sometimes, especially during pregnancy. I hope you have a serious heart to heart with your hubby and tell him how you are feeling, and that you can't do it all by yourself. It's not good for you or the baby to put yourself through this much stress while you are pregnant. I'm sure he would be glad to help you out if you just tell him what you need. Sometimes you have to be pretty specific with men, they can't read your mind, and sometimes aren't the most observant. What does he do between 11 and 3. Ask him to start a schedule where he can watch the baby for an hour or so, so that you can get caught up with work or just to have a little time for you. He has just as much responsibility as a parent as you do. If he doesn't have the time, ask a friend, neighbor, or family member that you trust to look after your little one (possibly for a fee) for you a couple times a week. Hope this helps.

It is totally normal.
Have you tried talking to your husband?
You know men can be a little slow and don't usually get hints well. You need to sit down and talk with him face to face and keep it simple. Most men like to fix things. This will give him a chance to be your hero. And make sure you praise him. Like you praise a toddler for using the potty. Sounds like going over bored but in order to get him to change a habit so big he will need the positive feed so that he knows that he has fixed something for you and is your hero.

Hi N.,

You need time for yourself!! Yes, it is very normal and it sounds like you take on all the duties yourself, maybe you feel obligated and responsible. But, trust me, you must ask for help! Your husband may pleasantly surprise you. Being at home is a full time job, then cooking and cleaning and your part time jobs on top of it make it very difficult! It took me almost 3 years to realize this. I have used a leadership coach and have learned a lot. Most importantly, don't feel guilty to ask for help and delegate. If you are having more children you will need to do this!! You need more than 5.5 hours of sleep. It sounds like what is happening is you are so tired and burnt out that you are starting to resent what you are doing and are getting frustrated. That is not good for you or your family. So be kind to yourself and make sure you give yourself a break! Do you think you deserve help or a break? That is important to ask yourself because if you don't think you deserve it then it's not going to happen.
I am passionate about this because I have been in the same place and started to get to the point that I wasn't enjoying what I was doing, even though I knew I wanted to be at home, so I hope some of this has been helpful!

Hi N.,

I think it is normal to feel overwhelmed when you are "wearing as many hats as you are." 5.5 hours of sleep would definitely not be enough for me ...especially to juggle all of those responsibilities. I don't have all the answers but one thing I noticed you said: "I wish my husband would say one day I will take him..." Well, one thing I have learned is that it is best to directly communicate to husbands instead of wishing they would read our minds and say something to us...even though it seems so obvious to us!!! Your husband is your help mate. He loves you and cares for you and is someone you should look to in times of difficulty. Plus, it the child is his responsibility too! I recommend you talk to him and ask for his support. And be specific about what you want. For example, maybe on Tuesdays and Thursdays you get an hour or two to yourself before he goes into work at 3pm...you two can talk about what plan will work best for you!

C.

Just remember that you are not superwoman. You need to have a long talk with your husband. You are going to be burnt out before your next child is born and then you may suffer with post-pardom depression and then all of you will be in trouble. You are not a wimp, you are just trying to do everything and that isn't right. You may have to let some things go.

It is very normal to feel overwhelmed N.. My daughter is now 7 1/2 years old and I took maternity leave for the first 3 months and I did alot of crying. I breastfed so I was constantly up feeding every 3 hours around the clock. My husband and mom did what they could to help, but when u breastfeed there is not a hole lot others can do to help except with the cooking and cleaning. Don't wait for your husband to offer to help if he is like 85% of husbands you need to tell him how you are feeling since he has not picked up on it already :)
P.S. If you are not doing so already; you need to nap every time the baby is asleep. Have a Blessed day.

It's normal to feel that way. And to help, you need to tell your husband what you need from him. A nap, a break from the baby so you can get some work done, etc. Tell him!! Also, it was suggested, find a Mommy's day out through a church to help give you some time away as well. Don't wear your hats at one time either!! Be a house wife for a few hours, then a mommy, then an accountant and sprinkle on the hormones right now too. You've got another one on the way and you need to figure out how to balance things. Don't feel guilty if you are doing accounting and the baby is awake either, a little indepentant play never hurt anyone (or even and Enstein video).

I've been in your shoes while prego and taking care of my (at the time)6yr old daughter when we had to move for my hubby's job of Recruiting Duty. I wore all the hats as well- mommy, housewife, cook, babysitter, soccer helper, homework helper, care taker of newborn, etc!!! And my hubby knew it but there was nothing he could do about his hours or his job unfourtantly. So I paced myself and only spent a couple hours with each hat including my self-loving hat!!!

Good luck, talk with your hubby and take it easy!!
S.

The answer to your problem lies in budgeting. If you are working part time, then part of that income needs to go to part-time childcare, which would be preschool. Bottom line. You need to get on a budget and cut out something to pay for this. Or one of you needs to get a higher paying job. Listen to Dave Ramsey for ideas (www.daveramsey.com). When I was overwhelmed I told my husband we could either hire a babysitter and cut out x from our budget, or he could take over y. He decided to go for the babysitter. So now I have 2 hours a week of babysitting.