Nervous About New Baby

Hi A.,
I have no advice, I just wanted to say that I could have written this myself. My daughter is 2 and I have another baby girl due in March. I also struggled with breast feeding and followed Babywise (LOVED it!!) but am terrified of what's going to happen with my second, and to my first while I'm struggling with my second. Anyway, I just wanted to say YOU'RE NOT ALONE!! I think we just need to relax, take a deep breath, remember that neither child will remember any of this when they're grown (that gives me great relief!) and try to roll with the punches. It's not easy, I know, but stressing out won't help either, especially with the breast feeding. And look on the bright side, by the time my baby gets here, you'll be an old pro and have all the kinks worked out! Best of luck to you!!
R.

Please don't worry. Everything will work out fine, you'll see. I have 4 kids, and with each it is an adjustment, exspecially in the beginning, when newborns need more attention, but it all works out, you'll see. Just remember to include your daughter in the everyday stuff. Like being a big helper for getting a diaper ect. Congrats and please done't worry. Schedules will change but Love will always remain.

Don't worry! Everything will fall into place. You are experienced and you will make it work. I think it's natural to have the anxiety. Remember the anxiety you had before you had your first? Did you have doubts? Sounds to me you made the first one work! :O) You will be fine. Always try to breast feed. Speak to the hospitals Lactation consultant to see if you can try other methods. If it doesn't work, you will do what you have to do.
Take a deep breath mama! You are on an adventure and you're going to do great!

Anxiety is normal!!! I went through this with all three of mine. I have three kids, 3yrs, 2yrs, and 4months old. There are days I think I'm crazy but I love every minute of it. I had a ton of anxiety which caused insomnia when I was pregnant with #3 and looking back I laugh b/c now we have our routine and it works for us!!! As far as the feedings go...I had to pump with my first child, he never latched on, but I never had a problem nursing my second and third baby. I had to stop nursing baby #2 b/c who took forever to eat...he would eat and fall asleep over and over...I would be glued to the sofa for an hour and it became very difficult and frustrating when my 16mo old would want something or even want to play. I switched him to formula at 5mo and life became so much easier. Then my oldest would hold the bottle with me and get so exciting with the idea of feeding his little brother. My 4mo is an excellent eater when it comes to nursing...she eats in maybe 10min and she's done. Don't stress about feedings and do what works. They're only small babies for a short amount of time and it's not worth the time stressing over the way they feed.

Good Luck!

Definitely speak to a lactation consultant, even before the birth if you like. I wish they gave breastfeeding lessons prior to birth cause it's not that easy. I got Shingles 3 days after I had my son and it screwed things up royally. It took 3 months with a lactation consultant before I was able to breastfeed exclusively again (I made up for it by nursing him till he was 2-1/2!). If for some reason you're not able to breastfeed as long as you want to, PLEASE don't beat yourself up - sometimes we can't control how our breasts and our children interact. My lactation consultant said most breastfeeding issues are because the child has difficulties (weak suck, high palate, etc), NOT because the mom is doing something wrong.

Be easier on yourself and take care. It may not work out the way you hope, but it'll work out! :)

A.,
I think it will really be okay. I was nervous too. The first child was such a transition! But the second child was easier for me because I was a seasoned mom. No more big surprises on what to expect. My oldest child did just fine. Just that you are aware that your little girl may have a transition will make it easier. Transitions are not bad, they are just a new learning experience.

Try to let yourself be excited because a second child means MORE love in the house. You will be surprised how easy and wonderful that love will be. Don't worry too much about following anything to the T. Let life happen. That you are a concerned aware Mom will help you and your family. I'm also betting that little girl of yours will love nurturing her new little sister.

Do you best to let your fears go. I think all will be great!

P.

I had the same fears when my second was born. It really was a lot easier than you'd expect. True, I wasn't able to sit and cuddle my youngest as much as I did my first, but he survived! It is hard, but you'll settle into a routine. My husband was very helpful and would feed the baby at times so I could spend one on one time with the older boy. He loved being the helper and the big brother. Don't try to be super mom either! My older son and I did watch a lot of TV there at the beginning, and he survived that too! I tried to correspond their afternoon naps so I could get rest at that time. For the morning nap, I'd get a little housework done and spend one on one time with my older boy then too. He loved playing board games, so we'd do that together. Good luck, and congratulations on your new arrival! It's really going to go smoother than you expect! My son had a harder time adjusting to me returning to work after being home for 4 months than becoming a new brother!

We were very fortunate with the birth of our second child (ours are 21 months apart), that the transition for our son was very easy. We'd talked to him a lot about having a new baby, and he took to her immediately. He still loves her amazingly now that they're both 21 months older.

Having that second child is tough. Just getting from the car to Target's front door will take twice as long.

I'd advise that you have your older daughter start helping you with things now so she has a routine that doesn't get too altered. it could be picking out her clothes, putting dishes away, whatever. I'd also recommend having special time with her (alone time with both Mommy and Daddy) now and keeping that after the baby is born. Spend 30 minutes a few days/week doing something just the two of you. That way, when Mommy or Daddy is tied-up with the new baby, you'll have a few minutes to devote to her.

Some people live on schedules with babies. I personally didn't. To each his own.

To put things into perspective, when my daughter was 7 weeks old, after nursing her, I found what felt like a semi-frozen pea around my collarbone. 4 weeks later, I was diagnosed with Hodgkins (cancer). There was no more schedule once I started treatment, and it became all about survival since we have no family to help.

The first few weeks will test your sanity. But, having two children that you can unconditionally love and who give you the same in return is the most amazing gift.

I hope you're able to take some deep breaths, get a few good nights sleep and enjoy all your life has and will offer in the next few weeks.

BEST WISHES!

The arrival of a new baby is always nerve racking, no matter how ready or how prepared you are! However YOU WILL BE JUST FINE and everything's going to work out how it's supposed to. Now that I have 3, I look back and think what a breeze having two children was and how hard I used to think it was. With 3 you are always outnumbered and it just seems there's NEVER enough time in the day anymore......but you will be fine with two and the girls will grow up being best friends that close in age. It's perfectly normal being nervous, we've all been there but try try try to relax and remember that everything's going to work out just fine and you'll soon be saying, "What was I so nervous about" : )
I'm one of those mamas who never truly "bonded" with my unborn baby until the day they were born and bonding with my second baby came so easy and natural (just like it did wiht my first) and I know at this point you probably feel like you can never love a chlid like you do your first, but don't worry because you can and you will, there's no question about that! : )

Take a deep breath and go relax, good luck to you and best wishes!