Need Support and Advice - Menifee,CA

Hi Jami,
I tried to breast feed with both of my kids. With my first, I got a staph infection while in the hospital and I was on some pretty heavy antibiotics. That and the stress of it all, I wasn't able to breast feed. Well, with my second baby, I started it and I found it stressful. I would nurse her for what seemed like hours at a time. I mean she would go and go for like an hour and a half. Then she wouls sleep for very, very long spans of time. I was worried that I wasn't giving her enough either. I finally went to see a lactation specialist 2 weeks after she was born. This was after I had many breakdowns, and cried a lot. It turns out, I wasn't giving her anything. She hadn't gained any weight, not even an ounce in 2 weeks. It was awful. That day, I started pumping and supplementing and gave her a bottle. SHe ate like there was no tomorrow, and she has continued to eat. Imagine my horror though when the nurse told me I was practically starving my little girl.
I pumped for 10 weeks and during that time, I did have to supplement with formula because I didn't produce much. She wasn't a good sucker so that is why I had to bottle feed her. I felt a little like a failure as a mother, but once she started eating regularly, she was like a brand new baby. She was perkier, and slept more regularly. I was able to relax, and once I knew she was fine, I was okay. I know that breast feeding is supposed to be so natural, and so good for your baby, but I have 2 very healthy children and one I didn't breast feed except for a few days and one got 10 weeks of breast milk. My children are bottle fed, and I have bonded with them just fine, and they are no healthier or less healthier than some of my friends kids who were breast fed. You have to be comfortable, and completely relaxed to breast feed, and if you aren't there is no shame in it. You are doing good. Keep trying, but please don't feel like you HAVE to do this.

Jamie,

Congrats on your new baby.

Yes, yes, yes, it get's so much easier! You DO give, give, give a lot at the start of your breastfeeding relationship. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and wonder if "this is how it will always be". I've had two, they are 3 and 5. One breastfed until 2, my second breastfed until 3. For me and both of my kids, I'd say the first 9-12 weeks is the getting to know you/working on the supply and demand stage. It really does take at least 9 weeks for things to get to some sort of a routine. As for how much milk you are making. This can be a vicious cycle.. you think you aren't making enough so you work yourself to the ground pumping and giving baby formula - then you really aren't making enough. The best thing to do during the beginning is to nurse on demand. I used a hospital grade pump w/both of my kids just to try and store some in the freezer "just in case". I was never able to get more than 1 oz, pumping from both breasts for at least 30 minutes! Nothing will get the milk out better than a baby sucking on your breast. Some Mom's can pump a lot. Some can't. It doesn't mean you aren't making enough.

In the end, if this is not what you want, than you need to make that decision. If it is what you want, then seek help with the other kids, seek up from an LC, seek help from where ever. It is possible to breastfeed your 3rd baby and still be a great Mom to your other two, oh and a great wife.

You are very stressed now which won't help your milk supply. This should be a wonderful time for you so if things aren't working out, then change them.

I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide.
M.

Hi Jamie, it sounds like you need a hug! I know how hard it is to breastfeed, but I want you to know that 98% of women can make it work if they stick to it and I think there is a good chance you're in the 98%. If you do stick it out, this will be the most satisfying, rewarding and gratifying thing you have ever done. I can't explain the bond you will have with your baby. It is so so special, and I never thought I would say that. Early on it was so hard, I was having every problem under the sun, but finally one day, I was able to relax and from there on out it has been great. It is not only easy for me to do, but I don't even think about it. You will be able to feed and calm your baby anywhere, and the convenience of breastfeeding is so awesome. If it doesn't work out this time, it's not the end of the world, but I have to tell you, you will be missing out. That being said, a few of your other concerns... yes things will start to even out, it may take a month or more, but it will begin to settle into a pattern. Just know that she will not starve herself, and as long as you feed her when she wants to feed, your body will produce enough milk, and you do NOT need to pump. But don't supplement with formula, or you won't produce enough. The amount of wet and dirty diapers indicate that she's doing just fine. In the beginning it will be stressful and irregular, but after a month it should be more well established and that is a small price to pay for the ease and convenience you will have later on. Plus those special moments that you know only YOU can comfort and feed her and she will know that too! I know I sound like a fanatic but I honestly want every mom to have this experience because it is one of the sweetest parts of being a mom for me. Good Luck and hang in there!!

Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you but wanted to say that I am in the EXACT same situation as you right down to having 2 other little ones who I was not successful breastfeeding with. My new baby is a few days younger than yours but I am having many of the same concerns. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk or need support - I think like one poster said we both can be successful, it just may be a little harder than it is for some ppl. Good luck to you and think positive!!