Need Help with the POTTY!

Sounds like she is not ready. My second son did this, I put him back in diapers and gave up...he trained himself in a week. My third son started the same behavior so I gave up faster and he also trained himself in a week.

Good luck!! I know how frustrating this step can be!!

Hi G.! It may be time to take a break from the potty for a bit. I had a similar experience with my daughter, when I backed off of potty training, within the month she told me she wanted to use the potty and wear big girl underwear. No accidents, with the exception of ONCE and that was at night. She quickly got the hang of it when I let it go and let her do it herself. It makes it worse when we get upset with them so why not put her back in diapers or pull ups and let her do it herself?

Is she otherwise healthy? My friend had problems potty training her daughter...she kept having accidents. At one of her checkups they found out that she had a UTI and that was why she kept having accidents. She had to go on medication to get it to heal.

Honestly I would just put her back in diapers or pull ups for a while and see what happens. You and your daughter don't need the frustration and it will all work itself out when she is ready. I say this because I tried to potty train my daughter about a year before she was ready (LOL) because one of her friends was potty trained. After a while I gave up because it was too frustrating and upsetting. Then one day my daughter was splashing in the pool and suddenly got out and told me she wanted to use the potty. So we went inside and she did. We hadn't talked about it in weeks so I was very surprised and excited. I asked her if she wanted to try wearing underwear from now on and she said yes. We had one accident in the first couple of days and that was it! She was 3.25 years old which I thought was pretty old for a girl but it was when she was ready so what's the big deal anyway? She turned out just fine. :)

I agree that I don't think she's quite ready for the whole deal. In my house, wearing big girl/boy undies wasa priviledge. If they stayed dry in their pullups for a certain amount of time then they got to wear big kid undies but not before. My kids didn't like "being a baby" in pullups so it worked pretty quickly. If she just doesn't care either way than she really isn't ready and you're just stressing yourself and her out over it. Try pullups and keep going on the potty but if she wets them don't make a big deal about it just remind her that she had really cute big girl panites to wear when she's ready. Good Luck!

It's not that you're doing something wrong. It's that your daughter's bladder muscles just aren't totally strengthened yet. She's only 3. One of my 3 year old triplets is going through the same thing. He's 3 1/2 and can hold it for long periods on some days. Other days he has dribbles. I found if I tell him to go in between when he goes he has less dribbles. They're still there but less frequent. I have him go as soon as he wakes in the morning and nap, and before he goes down for nap and night. He sometimes does his own dance letting me know he has to go. He marches in a circle, my daughter does the left to right foot shuffle, and my other triplet just out right grabs himself, lol. But have her go before and after meals, before and after heavy play, before and after you go somewhere, etc. I think the less she has in there the easier it will be teach her muscles to hold her urine in. Most of all, be patient. When she does have an accident, have her clean up the mess and stuff. This is not a punishment but is her responsibility to take care of herself.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

Don't be mean, don't be crazy! Everytime it happens, stop what you are doing and calmly teach her how to wash them. At first she will like the extra attention, but, eventually she will be disturbed because you are interfering with her activities. And, she will learn how to wash them and, while you may be required to supervise, at least she'll know how to rinse them out!

G.,

It sounds like she's not ready. I'd put her in pull-ups. If she really is ready and it's a will struggle, she'll get over it quickly and come out of the pull-ups. Some 3 yr olds aren't ready. Just let her go at her own speed. Good luck.

G.,
You know your daughter best. I would tend to think with 4-6 "incidents" per day that perhaps she is not quite ready. I know she understands the concept but the putting into action part may need a bit more time. I STILL have to remind my son to pee (he's 5!) They're just so busy they don't want to stop what they're doing and go. Try not to get frustrated--she'll defintely pick up on that. Dig deep for patience!
But the potty training express is already in motion! I think putting her back in pull-ups would be taking a step backwards. Maybe just use them at night. I did for my son and O. night while he was getting his jammies on he told me he wanted underwear at night and he never looked back!
O. strategy I've heard of is to keep them naked from the waist down while they're at home so they can quickly get on the potty. At least keep her clothes easy-off stuff! And keep the potty handy to where she is playing. Good luck.

Calm yourself down. If you are getting upset and frustrated, she will pick up on that. You aren't doing anything wrong. My oldest daughter, now 8 years old, didn't finally catch on and be fully potty trained until she was 4 years old. Just relax and stay consistent in having her visit the potty on a regular basis.

I know when I potty trained my daughter it helped to let her run around our apartment without any panties on and I had the potty in the room we spent most of our time in. I know it may sound odd but it worked. She knew that when she had to go it was right there and she learned pretty quick and she didn't have any accidents. She also knew that when we had company she had to wear panties and use the "big girl" potty. I also didn't wear pull ups or padded training pants on her, she would always soil those.

I hope this helps.

Try rewarding her when she makes it and not getting upset when she doesn't. Sometimes any attention from mom is good. The reward system worked for my daughter and I noticed that when I got upset with her, she seemed to have more accidents. Sort of punishing me for getting upset with her. We finally made it through. She is fully potty trained now at 3 1/2. Honestly, I don't know what finally did the trick. I know that rewards with stickers helped, but it was more a matter of she was finally ready to do it on her own. Your daughter may not be ready yet.
Hope this helped. Good Luck. Keep the faith -- IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!

We set a timer for 45 minutes, then 1 hour, then 1 hour and 10 minutes. We used the oven timer which was loud enough for us all to hear, and she couldn't reach it. I would set her on the potty and she went, and couldn't get up until she peed. I also found some things for her to have only in the bathroom. We set up a tv tray thing for her to use to do a sticker book or whatever on so that she was comfortable enough to sit for a few mintues at a time. The first 3 or 4 days were hard, because she kept getting down even though she hadn't done her "business", so we just kept putting her back on the potty. Once she understood that she was in the bathroom until she went, she did her thing and moved on.

A tip - Don't watch, stand out of sight and listen. My kids are funny about this, so I stand outside the door.

Also, if she is waking up dry, then she is ready to potty train, and if she can't hold it through the night, she may not be ready yet.

Good luck!
-C.

In my opinion yes you are imaptient and rushing things. You can't potty train a child I don't care what anyone says, the kid does it when they are ready. I am a stay at home mom and potty trained 2 of my kids by 3 1/2 with no further accidents becasue I never pushed it, my middle still isn't trianed at 5 but she has Autisma nd that is another story altogether. Other people made all kinds of comments that had I listned I would have been upset and stressed out.

I think people push their kids to poty train on their schedule then get upset with each accident. I had a trainer potty and allowed my kids to stay in pull ups until they had no accidents all day, I did the same at night. I told then they would be big kids when they wore panties and had no accidents. I worked in day care centers years ago where they kids had to be potty trianed by age 2 and MOST of the kids had constant accidents becasue they werent ready. Very few kids are ready that young.

Hi G. -

I really doubt you are doing anything wrong. Just keep encouraging your child with praise (that worked best with my oldest). Also - implement mandatory potty breaks for your daughter. It may help her realize that feeling that she needs to go. Sometimes kids are just "too busy" to "waste" their time using the bathroom. Another thought - Try the lined training underwear if she is only going a little bit. It will spare you from washing full outfits.

I know girls tend to learn how to use the potty sooner. Good for you for getting her before age 3. My oldest wasn't fully trained until about 3.5! I didn't force him too much to use the potty. But, once he did - he was about fully trained in less than one month. I have a younger son (almost 2.5) and he isn't showing too many signs that he is ready to use the potty himself. I would love to get him out of diapers sooner - but I wonder if pushing him now will just make the whole potty training process longer..??

Best of luck to you!!!

I disagree with putting her back in pull-ups or diapers...you've aleady come this far, why turn back? I thought I'd suggest what worked for my nearly 3 yr old daughter. Set aside a few days where you have no major plans and can stay home. Dress her in a long shirt or dress, then simply take her underwear off (naked from the waist down) during the day. My daughter said she was "ready" and asked to wear big girl underrwear, but was having some small accidents as well. As soon as I tried the bottom half naked thing, she was trained in 2 days with NO future accidents for 2 months now. I didn't feel like I was "pushing" her into something she wasn't ready for, because like you said, she understood how to use the potty. I believe this method helps them "get it" about how their body works. I could almost see a switch click in her brain when she got that pee needed to go in the potty instead of all over her & the floor. (She never did have an accident on the floor while naked, but I think it's normal if it happens) I didn't even need to remind her to try the potty, or put her on it at certain times....she just walked over to it whenever she had to pee or poo. The only thing I ever said was "remember that you don't have underwear on, so if you need to go, run to the potty!" I had a potty right in the play room (and even outside by our swingset) at first, then moved it closer to the bathroom as she got more used to using it. We do still use pull-ups at bedtime, but usually have dry nights.
I know it can be frustrating, but keep your patience with accidents and REWARD for good efforts/dry days, etc. We wrapped several small gifts and told our daughter she could have one at the end of every dry day. She was very inspired by the unknown gifts, and loved unwrapping one each night. We phased out the gifts by changing it to every week, etc.
Hope this helps and good luck to you!!

Hi G.,

I had a similar experience with my son. I know he was ready, he just didn't care. Now, at almost 5, he still has tons of accidents (at least 2 or 3 per week). I have found that reminding him to pee has been the best way to prevent accidents. I sent him to the bathroom every hour or so until things improved. It often felt like I was doing all of the work, but it's better than going back to diapers. Just keep reminding yourself that this will all be a memory before you know it.

N.

Hi G.,

With both of my girls, I used a sticker chart. Just get a sheet of paper and mark off a grid. For every day that she can go with no mistakes, she gets a sticker. After so many stickers(2-3 to start then 4- 5 and so on), she gets a prize. Just make sure you start off with stort term rewards so she has something to get excited about and wants to keep working on the task. And the prizes can be simple dollar store finds or a special treat or something that she likes to do, like her favorite movie or something. Within a few weeks she should be good to go.
Let me know if it works: ____@____.com
GOOD LUCK! R.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. It does get frustrating, but she is catching herself before she pees all over the floor.
My daughter is 3 1/2 and as soon as I hear the word "toilet" either we both run or I tell her to run and I will meet her there. (She has gotten much better about pulling her pants & underwear down and lifting her shirts up.) Still, sometimes once she is sitting, her underwear is a little wet.
If you can notice her grabbing at her crotch or squeezing her knees together... take her. I get in trouble when I ask her if she needs the toilet and she denies it. (...and I accept that response because I am busy.) It is clear she does or will soon.
She's working on it; she'll get there. (Thank goodness our girls are past that phase of hiding & denying when they dump in their diapers. Remember that how many months ago? haha.)

I understand. I have a 3 year old little girl too. She still wets even though she understands all about the potty. She will be in pre school next year and I am hoping that when she sees other kids in her class going potty, that she will want to too. Peer pressure can sometimes be a good thing. Also, I've learned that each kid will do things in their own time. I remember hearing a Dr. Phil show saying that by kindergarten, most kids will all be doing the same things. The years getting there are what varies. Don't worry, she will get it eventually. I know that my little girl will too, and someday this will just be a story I tell her when she is grown-up. "Oh, child, it took so long to potty train you. It's drove me nuts. Thank God, I don't have to go thru that again. Ha Ha". It will be a good laugh later, even though it is anything but funny right now. I am a married 30 year old mother of 3. I have a daughter who is 7, a daughter who is 3, and an 8 month old son. Good luck!

We had the same problem. If I asked, do you need to go to the bathroom, the answer was always NO. We used the kitchen timer. Set it for every 1 1/2 to 2 hours - or however long you think she needs between bathroom breaks. This seemed to work since it was the timer telling her it was time to go to the bathroom and not Mommy or Daddy. Our older daughter had accidents off and on until she was four so I feel your pain.
Good Luck

Big ((( Hugs ))) to you mama , this is a tough thing to deal with and a tough age for your LO ( little one ) to convey to you why she is having accidents.
My oldest ( who is now 5.5yrs ) had the same problema and we just paitently worked through it with her. I know that is easy to say when I"m not currently in your situatian, but I had several docotors and also a child phycologist stress to me that making a big deal about it to my LO would only make things worse , instead you should focus on when she gets to the bathroom on time and has no accident and make a huge happy big deal about it. If you would like to talk more or have more advice from a mom whos been through it before feel free to send me a email/message.
I was a young mama too , I had 2 under 4yrs by the time I was 24 , and now I"m a mama of 3 ;)

Dear G.,
Don't worry! My daughter went through the same thing and now my son. Once they understood and wanted to use the potty & underwear having to stop play was not part of their plan. Both my children went through the wet undies period until they learned to stop play to answer their bodies needs. Both my children have done "the pee-pee dance". I use to ask them a hundred times a day if they needed to go potty and then get so frustrated when they pee'd on their clothes rushing to use the potty. UNTIL, I backed off and told them they had to take care of any pee accidents they had. I left out the hamper for them to put wet clothes into, I left out undies and dry pants, and when this supply was used up, my children helped me with the laundry and I left out paper towels and cleaning clothes for any pee on the floor. This way, they took control of responding to their bodies signals and understood that clean undies and pants get dirty and need to be washed. Good luck and relax, your daughter will get it and learn that taking a few minutes to respond to her bodies needs will save her time to play.