I have a 14 week old, a pre-schooler home during the day. My newborn won't seem to sleep unless I am holding him and rocking him. When he is asleep and I lay him down, he wakes right up. It leaves for no free time during the day. I am doing this alone as my husband is serving in Iraq, so nighttime is the only time when everyone is asleep, but by then I am exhausted. Any sugggestions?
I am new to this all as I am used to working and going to school..feel like I am losing a little of myself.
Ok i am writing this way don't know how else to ask the questions to everyone's responses. I had a sling thing...and he was down to my knee's. I followed the instructions and it seemed it didn't work. He is 15 pounds and the front carrier I have hurts my back it seems i still have to use a hand to hold him up. I just looked at everyone's links and I want to know if there is a place to purchase these instead of online. I don't want to have to wait weeks for it to come by shipment.
Thank you for all the advice. I do have a swing...he seems to like it but for a short while. I don't mind rocking him, but my house and my preschooler are getting little attention. I feel like I am letting them all down.
Also, I do co-sleep with him, but my preschooler doesn't nap so I have to convince her to lay down with me, and well that isn't working either.
I am not trying to complain! I just need assistance.
Have you tried a swing or putting him in a car seat to sleep? Some babies like to be elevated a little. Also, are you still swaddeling him in blankets? My son liked to be swaddled for a long (months) time. If you need a swing I am between Cleveland and Akron and am done with mine. No charge if you can come pick it up.
Here is what I did in your situation. I took a blanket and wrapped my baby up so her arms and legs were in side it. Kinda like a papoose. I think it made her feel safe(like in the womb). As soon as she fell asleep she stayed asleep as long as she was wrapped. The only other thing I can say is do not pick up your baby as soon as they cry cause then they not be able to soothe thenselves. Let your baby cry for a little bit, then a little more. You have to break the cycle of your child feeling like they have to be by you every second. This will not only help you and your other children, but it will help your child with learning how to self soothe themselves. I hope this was helpful. Also my husband is in the Navy. So if you ever need someone to talk to while your husband is gone, I'm here. I remember when my husband was gone and how hard it was. Take care
When my granddaughter was a couple of months old, I had the same problem, so did her mom. Lay the baby down and she was awake in just a short while. My daughter was visiting us from Arizona and she showed me how to swaddle the baby. I thought the baby would fight against it, cause it restricts their movements, but she would smile the whole time my daughter was swaddling her. Worked like a charm. She would sleep for hours. Try it, it worked for my granddaughter and my daughter said she used that method on her now 9 year old son for around 5 months after his birth.
My daughter said the doctor out in AZ told her that babies are used to tight quarters from the womb, and are actually terrified of the total freedom when they are trying to sleep. Also, when their bodies jerk when falling asleep, an arm or a leg, it feels like they are falling and scares them awake, like we do when our leg jerks as we fall asleep. The swaddling keeps their arms or legs from jerking, so it doesn't wake em up. :)
hi tonya, its bad when babies dont have good sleep patterns,have yu always held this baby since birth, maybe his stomach hurts, colic.and the warmness of yur body helps him. my daughter cried all the time couldnt sleep and whenshes three was put on ridlin. she still is very active.first have the dr look at baby so yu know all is well. next id put the baby back in bedafter ive seen it feed and diapered,it might cry for while but i think it will soon stop.place a warm toel or baby cover under the sheet when yu put him down, but not hot. im wishing the best for yu, M.
i would try a swing with a blanket in front
This is sooo common and normal. Newborns have an instinct that they need to be protected and will wake up as soon as they are not with the protector (the adult). Get yourself a sling, actually I prefer a baby wrap. There are some really great ones out there on the internet. Google baby wrap and you will find all kinds of pretty patterns. It's not as hard to learn to use as you might think. I virtually carried my babies everywhere until they were moble. I really believe this is what they need for normal healthy development. Because of carrying my babies so much, they learned to balance and got stronger torso muscles early. All three of mine could sit up before 5 months.
During times when you really need to put your baby down, I found a vibrating bouncy seat works well.
Hi Tonya,
I have a 19 month old and a 7 month old, I totally relate to what you wrote.
For one, I used the baby bjorn and you can buy it at any babiesrus, I am pretty sure that Target also carried it. It frees up my hands so I can do dishes etc. I still use it just now he prefers the floor often since he's crawling ;) So know, this is short lived.
Also, do you have a swing? That was a lifesaver for me. I have a portable swing you can have if you want to pick it up. It's at my mother in law's house in Noblesville
Maybe your older child can have "quiet time" in his/her room when you nap the baby. My son would stay asleep in if I slept him in my bed. I passed him to his crib at 6 months and had to let him cry then and now he self-soothes and takes 2 naps a day, goes to be at 8pm through 7 or 8am ;)
Amy
My son is about the same age. He also loves to sleep when being held. A friend of mine let me borrow her "miracle blanket" and let me tell you it was a miracle. He sleeps thru the night and takes great naps. It can only be purchaed on line at miracleblanket.com, but it is worth it. It is a swaddler blanket. He loves it and it has given me some rest at night. It will be my new baby shower gift.
I would say to definitely try to take advantage of naps during the day, especially if your 3 yr. old still naps. Sleep when the little ones sleep. Try a sling that will snuggly hold the baby against your body to keep him content, but at the same time will leave your arms and hands free to try to get some stuff done around the house. I know it is hard!!!! All four of my children were that way. Just as soon as you think they are sound asleep and lay them down, and before you can even very cautiously pull your arms out from underneath them and they are wide awake!!! It is frustrating but just try to keep in mind that he will only be an infant for a brief moment in time and that although it is frustrating try to savor every minute of him needing you to hold him b/c before too long he will be too big for you to hold!!! I also know how you feel doing it on your own... with my fourth child, my husband worked out of state half of the month and spent the other half driving back and forth. It is rough but don't worry... you'll make it through!!! Not much help... but hopefully knowing that someone else has dealt with the same problems and made it through will be words of encouragement.
My son was the same way. I ended up buying a baby carrier and carried him on my chest until he was about three months. This way I was able to wash dishes and fold cloths. After that I carried him around on my back until he was able to sit up himself. At which time I would put him in a walker/exersaucer or the high chair and gave him toys to play with while I got things done.
Co-sleeping might be a good idea for you. Also how far do you have to go to put him to bed after he's asleep? Moving a chair into his room could help, the less you have to move him the better. Also waiting 5-10 minutes after he's asleep can help too, just to make sure he's good an asleep.
Good luck.
I would get a carrier too.....
There are a few places to try and find one you like. Also try www.thebabywearer.com for advice on how to use one. I have a few different types if you would like to try before you buy. you can e-mail me at ____@____.com and we could meet up somewhere! Good luck A.
It's so hard, isn't it? I used to have this grand social life, being the head bartender at Pieres. Once I became pregnant, it seemed like all of a sudden I wasn't getting any calls from my friends that I thought were good friends of mine. Then, once I quit working, 2 months before my second was born, it was like I'd fallen off the face of the earth. On top of all that, I had gone from being a partier, to finding out I was 2months pregnant one January, having a baby in August, finding out I was pregnant when my first was 6 months old, and then having another. I was in total "mom shock". I was totally exhausted, totally alone, and was facing the trials and hardships of motherhood. My fiance, then husband, was working from 8 to 8 every day, so I was the only one taking care of the babies, and at night was the only one getting up with them. So, I feel your pain. It's hard, and you're absolutely right, you do start to feel like you're losing yourself in the shuffle.
The best advice I can give you, is no matter how much of a nuisance it may seem to commit to and actually participate in, I would join a mom's group. My favorite one is mops, because it's twice a month for two hours, they serve a great breakfast, and there are wonderful child care workers there that watch the children while moms are able to enjoy some "me time". It's wonderful and extremely inspiring. The meetings are structured, although we have PLENTY of time to sit and chit chat too. It's so great because all of the mothers are mothers of preschoolers, so we're all in the same boat, facing the same obstacles. I'm in one at Emmanuel Community Church, in Fort Wayne, off of Hwy 24, after you pass Homestead Road headed toward Huntington. You should really look into it. I've tried play dates before, actually was in one in Denver that I liked, but one thing I didn't like about them is that it still isn't a break from the kids. When you are basically a single parent, what you REALLY need is a little time to catch your breath. During play dates, you still have to watch the kids to make sure everyone is behaving, serving lunch to everyone gets a little hectic, and I just never left feeling relaxed and refreshed. With mops though, all you have to do is show up, and being only twice a month, it's not such a large committment that you're not feeling the motivation to go all the time. Look into it, and I'll tell you what, I don't know if you live in Fort Wayne, forgot to look first, but if you do, and you'd like to check it out, please let me know and I'll get you some registration forms. I've felt and been in the position you are in and know how hard it is and sometimes you just need someone to reach out and pull you back into "life". There's a registration fee of $20 and then it's $40 for each semester, they break it up into two of them. If money's tight with your husband away, I'll be more than happy to cover the costs for you. Just get out there and let all those women help make you feel like Tonya again. Once that happens, believe me, all the stuff you're frustrated with at home will become much easier because YOU will be happier and feel more like yourself again. Plus, they have GREAT speakers at mops that have all KINDS of advice! Email me if you want more information! Or if you just want to vent or chat.
Julie
I know exactly how you feel about losing a little of yourself. I felt the same way. My daughter wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her and she cried all of the time. I finally found out she had an allergy to milk. I think if you got a sling you would save yourself a lot of grief and back pain. I would put my daughter in it and then you have your arms free and can do things around the house. When you walk around with the sling on it is very familiar to them like when they were in your belly. I am so sorry that you are on your own. I was in a similar situation, my husband traveled for his job and was gone wed. thru Sunday every week. I at least had a companion for 2 days a week. It gets very over whelming sometimes being alone with a baby. My heart goes out to you and your family. Invest in a sling!!
good luck
