Need Help with Clingy Child

If you can afford it (it's hard to justify when you aren't working...believe me, I know!), I would recommend putting him into a parent's day out program for a couple of days per week if you can. This will give you a break and get him some interaction with other kids his age to play with. My daughter loves "school". Of course, next year, she will actually be in pre-school, but she loves to play outside and do art in her parent's day out program and she has friends that have moved classes with her for the past couple of school years, so she's very close to them.

Beyond that, I would recommend insituting a 1-2 hour timeout for you every weekend where dad stays with the kids and you get out of the house (this is key as I'm sure you know...if you don't actually leave the house, they will find you!). You don't have to shop or spend any money....it can be as simple as taking a book (I know...what's that??) and reading at a park somewhere, but it gives you an hour or two to think, pray, read, or just generally spend time with your own thoughts and recharge. It helps a lot and it isn't that much time for your hubby to step up to the plate and give you what you need to be a good mom. I know it's tough, but he'll adjust when the baby comes. It will take some time and some extra love and attention from your husband and you. Good luck to you and congrats on the new little one.

S.,
Sounds like you have a two headed problem: a kid who is worried about Mom leaving (separation anxiety) and a kid who is mistreating you (and incidently the new baby). For the separation anxiety, I would remind him constantly of where you are going to be and what your expectations are for him. I would never let him sleep in my bed (I know you are tired, you will be more so with a wiggly boy in it). "Mommy sleeps in her bed, X sleeps in his and I will come in and get you for breakfast.)" You may have to stay in his room until he falls asleep for a few nights, but it will be worth it.
RE: assurance. I would choose to find time for activities with him that you initite: play doh, building towers that he can knock down, playground time. This gets rid of some of his energy and he revels in the attention.
A 30 minute video should allow you to take a shower, especially if he never gets TV any other time.
For the hitting, jumping, punching, wrestling: firm and consistent time outs. "No hitting, this is a warning. If you hit me, you will be in time out. do you understand?" Firm, eyeball to eyeball. Then get a time out chair or rug and put him on it for 2 minutes. It should be in the same room where you are so you can see him and he can see you. He needs to learn that now or you will be protecting the baby from the same assaults for the next 2 years. I think he is jealous and fears that the new baby will get his mommy and he won't have one.
I don't think this is unusual with boys, but I do think you need to take concrete steps. I am sure he is tuning in to your anger.It will help him if you get it out in the air. He needs to have clear expectations, be rewarded for good behavior, and in time out for the undesirable. Also, I am not a fan of adults wrestling with children. I know this is a minority view, but Dad might want to try another way to be with him. Catch, books, walk etc.
Good luck with this!

Hi S.,
The number one thing NOT to do (not sure if you are or not), is to use the baby in your belly as a reason not to do things with/for your son. IE, do NOT say, 'Don't hit my belly, you're hurting the baby!' or 'I can't pick you up right now, it hurts the baby' or 'I can't play right now, the baby needs to rest.' He sounds like he may already be getting jealous of the baby without ever having seen the baby, so try to keep conversation about the baby to an absolute minimum when he is around. Make it about YOU--'Mommy is much more comfortable when you sit next to me instead of on top of me' with no mention of the baby or your belly. Secondly, buy or check out from the library every book you can find about becoming a big brother and read them to him over and over. My oldest was the same age as your son when my 2nd daughter was born, and the best book I found was one written by Mr. Rogers. I read it to her every day for those last few weeks and I could see her really thinking about all the issues she was going to have to deal with when her new little sister came home. It also gave her the positive side of being a 'big'--she could already do lots of things that her little sister wouldn't be able to do for a long time! Try and give him some sort of incentive to stay in his own room, in his own bed...is he still in a crib or has he transitioned to a 'big boy' bed? We did this for my olest a few months before her sister was born and she was very proud of the fact that she was in a 'big girl' bed. We also let her choose some new decorations for her room, the sheets and comforter, etc. Just do everything you can to make his room appealing. Also, make sure you have a nice, comforting bedtime routine that you stick to EVERY night. Try to keep in mind that, at 2 1/2, he may be having lots of really big fears and anxieties related to your pregnancy that he can't yet verbalize to you, so his actions are the way he is conveying his emotions. He needs lots and lots of reassurance. In addition, he is naturally at a stage of development in which he realizes that he is getting bigger and is capable of doing many things for himself and by himself, and that he is his own person and not just an extension of you, but that can be a really scary thing for a 2 1/2 year old to handle, so he naturally latches on to you for dear life. This would be the case whether you were expecting another baby or not--it is a normal part of development, with some children experiencing it more profoundly than others. It may just be that this developmental milestone combined with your pregnancy have totally overwhelmed him. I recommend that you take a good parenting class that will help you to cope with having 3 young children and all the challenges that will bring. Best of luck to you and your family!

it just sounds like you need a break - my 6 year old boy still hangs all over me, and just gave up climbing into my bed a year ago. he shouts MOOOMM all day long, i love him desperately, but sometimes i need a break from him - then i miss him lol.

sometimes you need a mothers day out program, or a day at grandmas, you need to recharge your batteries - i am also a sahm, with 2 children, and i homeschool also - its tough, and sometimes you get to the end of your tether, but i guarantee you if you take a break once a month, or every other week, you will put everything in perspective.

I don't have any advice but wanted to tell you I am in the same situation you are. I have tried everything to get a break and it doesn't work. I will be looking at what responses you get to see if it will help me too. Until then, good luck.

S.,
I to have a 4 year old boy and just had a new baby. This what I did..
1. mom and me time- cuddling on the couch with boundaries ( mommy needs you to sit beside me not on me)
2. OUTSIDE PLAY- I have a fenced back yard and i would sit in a chair with my belly, and say "mommy likes that you are playing like a big boy" Thank you for letting mommy rest!
I know that it is not a comfy couch or bed where you would want to be. It was hard!
3. My son is JO- i would say Jo can you help mommy? And most of the time he would love too. and if he told me no that was okay too because I asked. I would have him push the clothes into the dryer, have him hold the trash can so i could get the bag out. or just help me find something even if I knew where it was. he always felt needed.

my daughter is now 7 months and he is very helpful! I have 2 other children ages 10 and 7!