Need Advice on Worrying

To some extent, these worries are normal. As a therapist, my rule of thumb to whether something is a problem, is if it is interferring with your everyday life or if YOU view it as a problem. It sounds like you do, so I would suggest either getting some counseling to get these thoughts under control, or at least read some on cognitive-behavioral therapy and thought-stopping. These are proven practices to help people move past irrational thoughts. It takes work, but this is something that you can learn to control.

Good luck to you!

I do the same thing! I think about what I would do if my husband died, if my kid fell in the bathtub, if someone broke into the house, all kinds of stuff. I usually do it at night when I'm going to sleep. I catch myself and, like the other lady said, I purposefully imagine something nice. What I want to do at my ten year anniv, what my kids will look like when they're grown. I sing a good song and I pray. If there is a specific issue you can address like the swimming pools, do it right away, don't let it ferment in your mind. If you find that these worries are actually constraining your actions, like you wont go on the trip because of the worries, that is the time to go to a doctor. I'm fine and controlling it now, but every one of my maternal aunts, and there are four, and my mom are all on anxiety meds. One wont leave her house even with the medication. So I figure I might have to find a better way to deal maybe later in my life. Sorry, that's probably not what you wanted to hear, good luck!

Hi J., all this worries are normal, it's just the matter of how you deal with it. Healthy precautions is good motivation to educate yourself (not to rely on others), for example learn how to act in emergency situations and think ahead of the time maybe to have on hand some things that will help to avoid possible danger. You've got some great responses here. I would strongly oppose to the advise to take any medication though. Why would you want to numb your senses? Don't you want to listen your mother intuition when it will speak to you? There is other ways to get yourself together, not go to the stories and drag yourself into panic. Did I tell enough in my other posts about yoga? Well, I hope my message not falling on deaf ears....
Best wishes, M..

I did and do the same thing. The first thing I do is stop the scenerio in my mind. It takes a lot of dicipline but you need to change the subject in your mind. Be strong and refuse to let negative thoughts in to steel your joy. Do not give these fears power over you, refuse them and fight them. Make sure your taking good vitamins and do your part about creating a safe environment. What I mean is does the home have locks high up on the door or a chime leading to the pool know your going to have to keep a extra close eye. I would also take the oppurtunity to start giving him or her swim lessons start and educate your child on pool saftey. Take a deep breath, give up the stress and try to enjoy your trip.

My MIL has a very similar issue and she is on medicine for it now. Call your doctor.

Good, I'm not alone! I have similar worries and I really don't think it has anything to do with my health or vitamin deficiency. I just think that we, compared to other people in "La-La Land" are in tune with reality, we know that this world is not a paradise. When we watch the news it's always, "Someone broke into a house and killed an entire family" or "Kids are found dead in a pool", so of course we have reasons to worry. I don't think it's ever going to go away, but you can deal with it. And the way to start is by talking to your kids about what to do in dangerous situations and trusting in them.

Hello J.,

oh dear, being a mother is comes with worries and I know I'm guilty of worrying too much too. in the case of the pool, it's valid. you don't think there is enough security in place to keep your baby safe. how about you take one of those doorkob things to kid's can't open the door? talk with the other mom about your concerns about the pool and your 3-year old. do not dismiss your worries/concerns. You're not thinking of something far fetched.

Other things you can do is to make sure you're taking your vitamin/supplements specially vitamin D and vitamin B-complex. try and get some extra rest (easier said than done) what I've done sometimes when I find myself turning into alfred hitchcock, I purposely imagine something nice. think of your daughter graduating from highschool (valedictorian). think of being in a beautiful park, think of the times you read to her. imagine her playing scrable or her beating you at checkers/chess/monopoly, etc.

get some lavender oil. put a few drops on a tissue and keep it with you. you can also can drink chamomile tea at night to help you relax.

also at sprouts they have st. john's wort, and valerian and one is called moodfix. they even have some homeopathic sublingual tablets (specific minerals) ...no lithium. none of these will make you drowsy or spaced out and you may not need them every day. maybe on the days you're ovulating or during your monthly cycle, etc.

Above all, pray and read the Bible. good luck and God Bless! ~C.~

Perhaps you should consult with your doctor about this. I know that everyone is different but this could become crippling where you can't and won't go anywhere. Yes, life is full of what ifs but you cannot let that stop you from doing and going places and enjoying life. Get help before you actions rub off on your teenager and toddler in an unhealthy way. The other S.

J.,

I can totally relate to everything your wrote! I've been wanting to ask the same question on this board. The 'worst case' scenario with my kids has always haunted me. My husband is also laid-back.

My situation may be worse than yours. I am currently suffering from depression and panic attacks and in treatment.

I would suggest just maybe talk to a counselor if your anxiety interferes with you enjoying life.