My Son Was Pretty Much Potty Trained.. but Now He Isn't.

Updated on March 18, 2009
R.R. asks from McKinney, TX
10 answers

I am wondering if any other moms have dealt with something like this. My younger son just turned 3. About a month and a half ago he was completely trained to poop in the potty by himself all the time. He would sometimes wet his pullup but he was totally pooping in the potty all the time by himself without me ever having to even be involved. For over a month I litterally didn't have one dirty pullup to mess with. Life was good. Well about 3 or so weeks ago, I think he may have fallen off the potty or something because he has gone completely back to pooping in his pullups and will NOT go to the potty. It's like he just rewound the clock and is not trained at all anymore. I am so frustrated because I keep trying to get him to go in the potty but he seems to have no interest. He seems to be scared now. What do I do?? I know he can do it cause he was doing it for over a month by himself. ANy suggestions on how to get him back in the swing of things?

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

My 3 year old just did the same thing. We were using regular underwear not pullups and he was only having pooping accidents but I would have said he was completely potty trained. I didn't even have to ask him if he needed to go....he just went on his own. I was thinking maybe something happened at daycare but I never found out what happened, if anything. I guess 3-4 weeks went by where we had to start from scratch. We would ask him every 30 minutes or so if he needed to go potty and put him on the potty. Most of the time it was just peepee but it got him used to sitting again on the potty. I did reward him with some sort of small candy but only if he did #2. I believe it has been about a month or more since this has stopped. So far so good. He has had very occasional accidents with the peepee but thank goodness no poopoo in his underwear. I don't know why this happens sometimes but they will get potty trained, you just have to be patient which can be difficult at times. Us moms want to analyze everything! Good luck:)

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

I'm so sorry, this is so frustrating but very natural for children (especially boys) to regress. I have b/g twins and i had them potty trained at 26 months, but my son has regressed a few times since, while my daughter is 100% even at nighttime. My first suggestion would be to put him in underwear, except for nap and bedtime. My son still will pee if he has a pull up on, but will not wet his underwear due to the discomfort. If he poops, just cut it off and throw it out. Now when my son(now 3) has an accident, i talk to him and if he does it again within a day or so, he goes to time out. I know they are still young, but this a tool that children will use to push you, just like throwing a tantrum. Of course I don't do this if he just has an accident (usually once every 6 months), but only when I know he's just simply not going to the bathroom. Take away the pullups while he's awake and make sure he knows you're serious. Maybe even letting him pick what's for dinner or favorite snack to help motivate him.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

R.,

My daughter did the same thing, but around the age of 25 months. She had both pee and poop down and then one day, she just turned it off and started using her panties again. It drove me crazy! I couldn't figure out what had happened. I did a little research and the only thing that made sense to me was children are reaching milestones and once they accomplish one they move on to another and forget about the previous one. Just like when they learned to crawl then they move on to walking and they don't really crawl anymore once they can walk. Once they have mastered potty training they forget about it and move on to something else to master. So, what I did...I got her up one morning and put her right on the potty and got all excited when I told her that every time she goes pee or poop in the potty she gets an m&m and if she is dry she gets another one. So, every time she goes to the bathroom she could get a total of 3 m&m's. She was so excited about it and I was too. I made such a big deal about it every time we would go to the potty. I would make up songs and jump around the bathroom and dance. I'm sure I looked dumb, but it worked. In about 3 days, we were back to being potty trained. And now a few months later, she is great. Every once in a while she will ask for her m&m's, but not often. And when she does, I will give them to her. Good luck and hang in there...I know this can make you go CRAZY!

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L.F.

answers from Amarillo on

R.,

I am wondering why he was still wearing pullups when he was potty trained? I have always been told as well as whole heartedly felt that would allow them to regress...I had my daughter in panties at least part time before she was completely potty trained. For us, it took longer to convince her to have a bm in the toilet, but once she was wearing panties all of the time and she had an accident in her panties a time or two, boom...she was done. She as well as so many others (I am told by friends & family) don't seem to like the thought of soiling their big-kid undies nor do they like the feeling of it as I would imagine there is a big difference between underwear/panties and a pull-up/diaper. Also, my daughter has always been a child of clock work so to speak - she has a bm typically the same time every day. If this is true in your case...even if it is say just in the afternoon, start trying to set him on his potty to sort of "catch him before the act" kind of thing. When we were finishing up potty training I really leaned pretty heavy on being a big kid, not wearing pull-ups, etc. I hope this helps!!

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Rachael, one thing that worked for my DD was to tell her how much the toilet LOVES to eat poo! Yum! The toilet would MISS her poo if she didn't go in the potty and would be sooo hungry (totally gross sorry but it worked for me!)I always would 'feed' the toilet the poo from her pullup if she went in her pants, and whenever I flushed poo down I would say, yum yum yum the toilet is so happy :) Best of luck. K.

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T.Z.

answers from Dallas on

My suggestion would be to get him out of the pull ups and into regular underwear. Pullups are the same as a diaper in that the child doesn't feel wet or uncomfortable. Maybe if he could feel wet underwear, he might get back to the potty. Also, another good game to try is putting Cheerios in the toilet so he could make a game of it and make it fun.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son was potty trained and then backslid twice before it finally stuck the third time. The first time was at 2.5 yrs (we started late due to new sibling and moving), and we did a sticker chart and had him earn prizes. Each time he used the toilet he got a sticker, and after so many stickers he got a small toy (think dollar store!). We also used many potty training videos from the library and books. He loved these, and still sings the songs occasionally! Then he got the opportunity to earn a *big outing* (we went to Wiggly Town) if he stayed dry/clean for a week. After the big outing he slowly backtracked - not scared, but I think he just found it too inconvenient to stop playing. We tried to get him back on track, but after awhile we just gave up because it wasn't worth the contention and energy. We tried again at 3, but this time he only got stickers - we knew he could do it and wanted his motivation to be internal, and not for prizes. Again, he slowly backtracked. Our final attempt was at 3.5 yrs, and at this point it was a control issue. We had a talk about being a big boy, and I explained that he is responsible for using the toilet. We made it very inconvenient for him to have "accidents." He only got one pair of underwear for the day. If he went in his underwear he had to clean everything up (followed up by me later of course!), and then he had to wear a pull-up and wait in the laundry room while his underwear were washed and dried. It was all very matter-of-fact. No yelling, no lecturing, just "clean up your mess." Wonderful suggestion I got from Mamasource! If he had a true accident (tried to make it to the bathroom, but just missed, and was very upset) we forgave it and moved on. It only took 2 times sitting in the laundry room to keep him potty trained for good! If your little guy is truly scared, I would stick with an incentive system - stickers, jelly beans, M&Ms, whatever motivates your son. You may want to consider taking a break for a bit too - sometimes the pressure is too much and counterproductive. Either way, I would stay away from pull-ups during active potty training.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds pretty frusting. Have you tried just putting him in underwear during the day? My child is a bit younger - 2 1/2; however, I noticed a substantial difference in her willingness to go potty when we removed pull-ups from the equation. Just a thought - may not work for your child and you may have already done this. Good luck!!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

YES YES YES!! Mine turned 3 in Dec and right before his birthday, he just stopped poo pooing in the toilet. He still isn't going in the toilet, and we're at our wits ends. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to keep checking back to see what responses you get.

I do have to question the pull ups too now that I look back. We were doing underwear all day and even nap time. The only time he didn't wear underwear was at bed time. Unfortunately we've had to move back to pull ups at nap time because that's when he tends to relax and have his poopy accident most often. He's holding it in so he doesn't go for some reason.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

Some kids at this age you can talk/inquire etc. and others you can't , but in a very non-confrontational voice as why he is scared to go potty. It could even be that he was constipated one time and it hurt, and now is scared or like you said fell off. If you tell him while (cleaning him up) what a big boy he was when he went to potty, and now yucky, does he like this in his pants, tell mommy next time, and I'll go with you to potty next time and set by you, and everything will be o.k. and see if this works. A lot of time a child will go backwards a bit on potty training, but hope this works.

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