My Son Is a Picky PICKY Eater!!!

Updated on September 17, 2008
C.B. asks from Bellevue, NE
14 answers

I'm sure mine is a pretty common problem overall, but not in my family or in my circle of friends, so I'm at a loss. My 14 month old son all but refuses any food that is not extremely familiar to him. Here is what he will eat: yogurt, fruit of any kind, some veggies, cheerios, goldfish crackers. Occasionally he will eat babyfood, but again the only baby food he eats is: sweet potatoes, squash and fruits. Every once and awhile, he will eat pizza and gnaw on a piece of steak, but really that's it!!! His babysitter and I are completely at a loss! She does a great job of exposing him to different foods, but he pretty much refuses. If you push him to try something, he gets angry and cries and throws whatever is on his tray. He's super skinny (in about the 1percentile) but healthy and smart and always a little ahead of the developmental curve. Other than this feeding issue, he is a happy, funny and charismatic boy.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the support and advice. I am, by nature, an analytical person, so I always think I should be doing something more or that I'm doing something wrong. I'm going to just hang in there, keep exposing him to everything, and hope he becomes a little more adventurous! It was nice to hear that other moms have experienced the same things and it has all come out okay!

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C.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Extremely picky eaters may have tactile defensiveness. Reflex integration therapy can support sensori-motor organization of the mouth. C.

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H.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi C..
I don't have any advice on how to get them to try new foods. I'm lucky that my kids have never been too picky. All I wanted to say to you is. . .Teagan is really doing okay! I looked at the list, and for a 14 month old, he seems to eat a long list of foods. I have friends that are WAY worse off. So give yourself a pat on the back. If it makes you feel better, my youngest has always been in the 10th percentile for weight. People used to question me about it. That was annoying. She developed faster with speech and just about EVERYTHING else compared to her older sibling. So, just don't worry so much. When Teagan is a little older and can reason, you can try some bribary to try new foods. :) For now, maybe introduce and small amount of something new on the plate. Don't make a big deal of it, and if he doesn't try it, move on. Eventually he WILL try something new. You can reward that behavior then. Good luck to you!

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G.G.

answers from Appleton on

Hi C.,
My son was/is also a picky eater (he's now 24 months and doing MUCH better)...but always, always offer new foods. Offer what you know he'll eat..and then offer at least one new thing at a meal. It does take many, many trials before a child will try something sometimes (10-15) or more (in my son's case). But always offer because if you don't..he will never eat it. The biggest thing I learned is: offer it in a large variety of ways. Ex: I've tried offering peas (he hates any veggie)..so what I did was. One meal: I offered steamed peas (frozen ones); one meal I offered cooked canned peas; one meal I offered straight frozen peas (straight from the freezer..I know it sounds weird but he liked it adn their actually pretty soft); one meal I offered pureed peas that I blended up; one meal I offered freeze-dried peas (look on justtomatoes.com). And I kept on trying those different presentations until FINALLY..he will eat the freeze-dried ones, the frozen ones, and SOMETIMES cooked peas. Make sure with any food that you are trying that you think about different ways to present it. Different temperature, different look (ex: sliced apples vs apple chunks vs canned apples, etc , etc). Many times my son will eat a food a certain way and not another way (ex: cut up vs whole vs strips). Try mixing foods with similar textures (ex: a scoop of veggie puree dipped in yogurt..again, I know it sounds gross but it works sometimes). And DON'T give up. It's alot of work sometimes with a picky eater..but you just keep trying and varying the food presentation, and sometimes with certain foods I just didn't even try for a month or two..and then I would try it again (always trying different presentations/textures) and then he would magically eat it :) And then..the next day he wouldn't...haha. But I'm just trying to say..keep trying! You're doing great! Good luck.
G.

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S.P.

answers from Omaha on

What has always been recommended to me is to continue to offer a variety of foods but to not worry overly about it right now. He is still pretty little and will likely go through this for a while yet. Continue to offer, and model to him with your own food selections, a variety of healthy food choices. So long as he is healthy and growing, he is probably OK for now. If you are really concerned you can check with his pediatrician regarding whether he should be getting any vitamins or supplements to his diet.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just keep offering different foods and the same ones he refuses over and over. It takes 15 exposures or more for kids to develop a taste for certain foods. Also some kids will have a very limited food list while others will eat anything. It is not your fault. Kids with sensory processing issues are especially sensitive to food texture, temperature, taste and smell. My son falls in the picky category...won't eat any foods mixed together (like stew, casseroles), sauces (makes hiding vegies in spag sauce impossible), cooked vegies (but he does like them raw or frozen as long as they are still icy), or meat. He is skinny but extremely active and healthy. It is frustrating at times especially when a food he loves suddenly becomes disgusting to him and he won't touch it anymore. But we just keep trying without allowing it to become a battle.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi C.,

I am also of the perspective that your son is *not* a picky eater. My god, he eats "fruit of any kind" and "some veggies"!

You are already doing everything you can--offering him different foods. Continue to do so on a daily basis, but don't push anything on him. He may stay a picky eater, or he may become more adventurous, who knows.

You can sort of switch up the foods he is eating. Goldfish Crackers come in whole wheat, and there are cereals out there that look like Cheerios, but they're different grains. In the meantime, keep giving him those great fruits & veggies that he loves, and count your blessings that he's eating them!

B.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just keep offering foods. At this age, he's not picky, he's just seeing how much control he can have over the situations in his life, and if you start now by jumping nad making everything he wants in the kitchen, soon you WILL have a picky eater. I'm in the school of picky eaters are made, not born, and if you continue to cater to his every whimper in the kitchen now, you'll breed yourself into a short order cook. Make the foods, serve him teh foods, and let him eat what he wants. Serve one familiar food on the plate with one or two new foods, or foods he has refused in the past. But give him the plate, the fork, and let him eat. Don't throw the food on his high chair tray, give him a plate, and a fork, and let him feed himself. He'll eat more this way, and can easier regulate what he wants and how much to eat.

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A.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was blessed with the picky eater and then the carnivore, which is when I finally realized it was not anything that I was doing. I never MADE my son eat anything that he did not want to, so he sometimes ate a lot of junk food (he nursed to 3.5, so he got nutrition), but he could eat half a cookie and then just quit! I can't do that!
(See cookie--eat cookie. There is no stop.)

My oldest is 7 now, and we are now able to talk about what food is healthy and what his body needs to be strong. It's hard to rationalize with a toddler.

I am also a Special Ed teacher, but it was not until one of my co-workers brought up Sensory Integration Disorder did I really start to get a handle on what all was going on with my son. He was/is happy and health--just a little less focused and very active. Everyone will recommend "The Out of Sync Child," but I prefer "Raising a Sensory Smart Child." It's a much more comprehensive, less clinical resource.

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N.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

Sorry your having such a hard time!
I consider my 16 month old a great eater some days and a picky eater others. Here is what we do. I give him three or four different diced veggies for lunch and dinner, he is big on variety :) (Some things he likes whole...like green beans. He loves them whole but is pickier if they are cut up) If he doesn't seem to be eating them I give him something to dip them in...honey mustard dressing, ketchup, yogurt dip, sour cream and salsa to name a few. He loves to dip his food! I also give him pureed sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and squash alot. While his molars were coming in he did not want to chew anything so we did alot of purees, he is now back to his regular eating habits. You just have to keep offering things over and over and over again! Also during his picky days I will give him a smoothie...1/2 cup milk, 1/2 banana, 1/3 cup raspberries is a favorite.

I hope things get better for you fast! It can be very frustrating at times but he won't starve himself. Just remember that the Dr. looks at the whole week not the day so if you have a bad day just try again the next :)
N.

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C.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi, C.!

You know, this sounds not all that bad. I (literally) just finished reading an article about this very topic that was published in the NY Times. It has some good ideas: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/15/health/healthspecial2/1...

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M.J.

answers from Green Bay on

Hi C.

My son Brendon is a very picky eater so I know how you feel . He is very skinny but is healthy and happy . All you can do is offer different things for him to try . And just have a back up that you know he will eat . Do not let people tell you to not offer what he likes if he does not eat what new things you want him to try . That will just stress you and him out more . The only thing I would try is take the baby food out . He does not have to chew it and the tabel foods he does . That may have some thing to do with his pickyness too . Just keep trying new things and keep in mind he may just be a picky eater his whole life . Good luck

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P.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

There is a cookbook out by Jerry Seinfeld's wife especially for moms whose children are picky eaters. I believe it is titled "Deliciously Simple", but I'm not sure of that title. It offers recipes where you can slip nutritious ingredients into the food so that children get well-rounded meals. I bought the book for my daughter, and she has used it to get her boys to eat things they would not normally eat. It may be something you want to look into. Good luck!

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

You should definetly read the book "How to get my child to eat but not too much" by Ellyn Satter

As far as his weight goes, has he always been at the 1 percentile? Unless it's new, don't worry about it. If it is new, your doctor should address the issue.

Offer the foods you want him to eat both likes and dislikes. Don't force him to eat. It will only make him mad and rightfully so. Would you like being forced to eat something? Even if all he does is look at the new food, he is exploring it. He may need to see the same food 20 times before he will eat. Don't give up and read the book.

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J.A.

answers from Omaha on

It doesn't sound like he is a picky eater after the list you gave! I have very good eaters (I was an extremely picky eater and lived on PBJ and chicken soup through most of grade school) I have a friend who has two girls age 4 & 7, and they are picky eaters, yet she doesn't expose them to anything new or give them the best version of what they do like. (High in sodium etc) If he is eating fruits and veggies, that is great! What else are you wanting him to eat that he doesn't?
Are you nursing? If you are I wouldn't worry about it at ALL, as breast milk is the best of nutrients you can give and he will eventually be on solids and processed stuff the rest of his life.
My catch all is Ask Dr. Sears, he has NEVER failed me!
Good luck and know that this too, shall pass... parenting is a series of changes.
Enjoy your little one in the meantime!
J.

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