My Sister Suspects Day Care Provider Drugged Her Son

If he's never been to daycare, then he's probably just tired! Going to school, preschool, daycare, etc. REALLY wears kids out -especially when they're not used to it. He's probably gotten about 8 times the activity and exercise today that he usually gets with the grandparents.Both of my kids were basically walking zombies the first few days they started an all-day preschool program -they couldn't wait to get home and go to bed (and this is not like them at all). When they were at home and I was at home, we were VERY active -outside all the time; always going to jumpy places, parks and other activities, but preschool still wears them out. Maybe he's coming down with something. I have to say -I find it a little strange that she would just automatically jump to the conclusion that they must have drugged him! That's extremely serious.

I think she may be a little overly dramatic, but if she feels that strongly, she should take him to the hospital.

I use to work in a daycare. I worked there for about 5 years. The employees are not supposed to give the children meds without the parents permission. However, we had two employees who worked with two year olds. Whenever they would put the children down for nap there were always one or two children who did not go to sleep. This use to upset the two teachers in that room so they started giving the children benedryl to make them sleep. When I found out I called dss and told them what I found out. So dss showed up at the daycare one day and caught them in the act. Come to find out one of the children was allergic to benedryl and had to go to the hospital. Both of them was fired and the parents pressed charges.

This is the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. He's 4.5 years old, goes to a new place, plays hard, gets excited and falls asleep during the movie. But she goes right to, "Oh Gee, he must have been drugged". Grow the heck up. Kids get very tired when they are in new environments. It's emotionally exhausting to see and meet new people, play new games, change the routine, get up earlier and drive to the new place.

Why would a provider drug only this one child and on his first day? You didn't say all the kids were sleeping. Even though you do go on to insinuate that many of the kids sleep in front of the tv there, it's most likely that this is a good provider that wears the kids out.

Do you have any idea how much of this paranoid nonsense goes on with people in regard to daycare!?! It's just maddening when people act this way.

Purple drink that tastes like candy could be 100% grape juice. I water it down because it's so sweet. And afternoon movies is an excellent way to wind down a busy day. Parents pay for a good place for their child to stay and rest, relaxation, and entertainment is as important to a day as learning and exercise are.

This situation is wrong. It's business libel unless or until proof has been provided. Business libel is illegal when anyone can identify the person you are talking about either through their name being used, or details about the person being put out there that allow other people to guess their identity. This is borderline since most of us would not know who this provider is. But there are family and friends and readers close to this poster that may know who it is. It's irresponsible and innappropriate to make these accusations with so little to go on.

I hope that this isn't a case of mothers intuition. If it is, then I'll be guilty of being too trusting. But we have to trust people most of the time. This world is hard enough to navigate without making people feel like we are walking in land mine fields everyday. That's how I feel in my chosen profession. I feel like people will come into my home and make snap judgments and then try to ruin my business and reputation just to get their jollies. It's posts like this that make me feel this way.

It seems kind of paranoid of her. Actually, it seems VERY paranoid of her. The other day, my parents watched my son the entire day. He has never been anywhere else more then a few hours. He was so drowsy on the way home, and fell asleep while he was eating dinner! He face-planted right into his food. Now, if you know my son...that's SO not like him. He is so active and busy and almost never seems tired. He certainly has never fallen asleep without our prompting. You sister's son was in a new place, with new stimulation, with other kids, and most likely just used energy he never has before. She should take him to the Dr. and chill out a bit. I mean, it's kind of crazy to jump straight to that conclusion. It's so incredibly unlikely someone would try to do that and get away with it. She can't just go around claiming they are drugging her son with absolutely NO proof...it could ruin these people. She does have NO proof. A drowsy kid is NOT proof.

It sounds like she is being quite paranoid. The child probably got all wound up playing with all the kids and got tired during the movie... it is typical behavior for kids going to a daycare, especially since he's not used to it.

However, if she is still extra concerned, she can go and buy her own drug testing kit from a pharmacy or take the urine to a lab if she wants to test it, or, if she wants to pay a lot of money, take him to the er.

Whoa.

Take him to the ER. Like now.
Just in case something else is wrong.

Right away.
ANd with the urine sample.
You can't keep it forever.

Could he just be really tired?
Did he nap today?
But as you said, this is not his typical behavior.
It was his first time at Daycare, too.

Did he hit his head or anything? Head injuries can cause drowsiness too.
Take him to the ER.

geeze, take it to his doctor I guess. maybe he is just exhausted from being there, he is used to being at home and daycares keep you busy and playing with kids, etc surely no drugging happened...that is crazy!

She can take him to the ER and have him checked out and have the urine tested, but she does sound like she is jumping to conclusions. And if she is already not happy with the idea of day care, it's easy for her to assume the worst. My DD is 3 and usually a ball of energy, but there are times she has been totally wiped out tired from whatever we did that day and ended up falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. A few weeks ago she was playing outside in the cold weather for almost 2 hours, then had a friend over for a play date. After her friend left she was playing with her play-doh at the kitchen table and ended falling asleep right there with her head on the table! If the day care was more activity than he is used to, I could see how tired that could make him!

EDITED TO ADD: if he is talking about purple juice that tasted like candy, my guess would be Kool-Aid...every preparation of liquid Benadryl that I have ever seen has been pink, or clear (if dye-free). Of course I would be livid if I knew my child was being given Benadryl just to make her tired and able to nap in day care. She can still ask the doctor if there is a way to test for it in urine. She can also talk with the day care director and just mention that her son talked about having a purple drink and she is wondering what it was.

Has anyone asked the daycare provider?

I bet he is just tired but if she really thinks that, she should go to ER tonight. Before she goes, I would call the day care provider and ask if they gave him anything and tell them that he is acting very sick/going to ER so she needs to know for sure so DRs know what is going on and avoid medication interactions.

I can't imagine why they would have given him something though....don't they want more business??? This doesn't make any sense. I hope it is just that he is tired from all the excitement. Good luck.

I want to believe that he is just very tired because he was just new in the day care and have lots of fun he could also have being crying and maybe that would make him sleepy.
At the end we (moms) know our kids best, so if she has the feeling that something is wrong I would follow my instints and take him to the ER , maybe they just gave him some benadryl if he wasn't do it well, which anyway if it is the case I would follow with the authorities and report the school and the care giver for not asking me about that.

Go to the hospital right now!!! I would not want to chance that. If I ever thought that someone drugged my kid there would be no question, already would be in the E.R. for sure. You can never be too safe!! Hope for everyones sake that he wasnt drugged. Best wishes! And keep us posted on what happened!

I'm sorry but that's a little over the top. He went to a new setting where he was probably running around playing with kids all day rather than at home alone with grandparents and no one to play with, of course he was worn out. I don't know if you can do anything with lab results where you collected the specimens yourselves but good luck.

Well my 4 year old when he is excited, plays hard, etc will just crash in the afternoon and this is a child that hasn't napped since 18 months old. I think it's silly that your sister would just jump to the drug conclusion...talk about paranoid. Although if I suspected my child was given or ot into to any type of drug you can bet your @$$ I'd be at an ER!

Oh, and when my oldest was in daycare the kids had to take a nap (even at 4) so I don't find it odd that kids in a daycare would be sleeping in the afternoon,

I did daycare for years. The children all played all morning. At lunch time I would feed them lunch at about 1130 or 12 after lunch we watched movies. It was not at all unusual for a "non napper" to fall asleep. This happens sometimes especially if they get a lot of good running around playing outside in the fresh air. I think if her only reason for suspecting this is that he was sleeping during a nap time its really jumping the gun.

I like Lynn M's answer. Is it an in-home type or other type of daycare? WHY would she jump to thinking her child has been drugged before thinking the child is sick? I would think that there are rules that licensed daycares follow - they do NOT give medication (I'm assuming) without permission from parents. They could lose their license and who knows what other trouble they could get into. It wouldn't be worth the risk. Purple juice could just be purple juice - cool aid, etc.

I'm more freaked out by her thinking her child was drugged rather than thinking he was getting sick. I'm glad she took him to the doctor either way. I hope it was nothing more than a bug going around, and if it was medication, she should definitely do what she needs to do.

I agree. If I suspected anything was wrong with my child - drugged, injury, etc. I'd be going straight to the ER.

That said, it could be a number of things, from new excitement and new play time to dehydration to just being bored with the movie. My DD fell asleep on the ride home from my friend's house today. I'm sure DD and their little boy played hard all afternoon (harder than she might at home) and that tired her out.

I'd also ask her what else made her think he was drugged, particularly. Have they ever had him in daycare before?

My daughter doesn't typically fall asleep during a movie (even when she's tired and it's bedtime) but it does happen occassionally.

Purple...tasted like candy sounds more like Dimetapp which can cause drowsiness.

Has your sister said anything to the daycare like "Wow Bobby never falls asleep watching a movie, how did you manage that?" and maybe add "Was he acting ok or did he seem like he didn't feel well?" and at least see what they say. She could even follow it up with "He never acts that way unless he's had Benadryl or Dimetapp." Don't accuse them unless/until she knows something but just test their reaction.

I agree with ER if she thinks something's wrong... if she has medical insurance that should cover it or at least a majority of it. She can ask them to check him for legal over the counter drugs so that they know what she's afraid of and not to just test for illegal drugs but legal drugs too. My daughter started going to my cousins in home daycare last august and loves it there. There's kids her age that she plays with and it wipes her out. She eats more over there and actually naps over there. When I pick her up at 12 on Mon and Wed she is tired and falls asleep because she had been playing with kids all day. They chase each other around the house and have a big play room they play in.

*Update

And I agree, I wouldn't take my daughter back if they were just giving her a ton of sugar and just having her watch movies all afternoon. Did she ask him later on how he liked daycare? My daughter is 2.5 but she will tell me if she isn't comfortable somewhere.

Did she take him to the ER? If I suspected something like that, I would need to have proof. What proof does she has besides him being sleepy and tired does she have? Is it possible that he was just really tired and that being in daycare for the first time was stressful and added to his fatigue? There is a first for everything, so I think maybe unless she has proof, she jumped to conclusions way too much. Why would she leave him with someone that she isn't comfortable with? Did she ask the provider how the day went or if she gave him any medication? It is very serious to accuse someone of such an action. I would encourage your sister to tread lightly and carefully to make sure she has the facts before she takes it further. GL!

M

I also thinks its likely he got tired from playing. Especially if he's never been in that type of environment. Or he is coming down with something. But I also agree, she is his mom and knows him best. So it is good she's looking into it. Hopefully, it was just a fluke and he fell asleep and was still droggy from sleeping.

Oh my word...I would flip my lid. No one knows a child like their Momma. Glad to hear she is taking her son to the DR today. Honestly, I probably would have taken him into ER right away for testing. If this whack job was crazy/lazy enough to drug the children in her care so they would sleep who knows what kinda drug she used. Even if if was benedryl there is no way to know if proper age appropriate doseage was given.

On the other hand it is all together possible that the woman runs a really tight ship and enforces nap time whether the kids are accustomed to napping or not. Perhaps her son played really hard with the other kids and just plain tuckered himself out.

Maybe he is just coming down with something. My 5 year old did this before he got really sick. It's not like him to come home from school and fall asleep for the rest of the night.

I just hope and pray that NO MATTER WHAT your sister will not be returning her children to that daycare. A mother's intuition trumps everything and if she thinks there is something wrong, THERE IS!

I am not sure what the test show, but there was a case here in NY where daycare workers gave children Melatonin to fall asleep, that may be something to test as well!

You don't say if this is a half-day or full-day program. For me, this would be good information.

And "paranoia" aside, as a preschool teacher and care provider, these are the things that stand out to me:

A rest time/quiet time should be a scheduled part of a child's day. All the children need this downtime.

I'm getting the feeling that TV is used as a babysitter. If children are falling asleep in front of the television, this isn't good. There should be designated spaces for children to rest their bodies comfortably.

If it were me, personally, I'd be looking for a higher quality of care. There are plenty of in-home daycares who pass state certification, have some curriculum and age-appropriate daily schedule. They might also appreciate the environment of a larger certified child development center, where there are co-teachers in each room and director oversight. This would create a community of eyes to watch over their child.

Lastly, this whole situation has ruined the trust for your sister and brother in law in regard to this provider. The death of a child is terrible by any circumstances, and for him to have lost his infant daughter at a provider's home is just awful. My questions would be-- has he been able to trust other care providers; has he had grief counseling/counseling around this? If they are able to find someone they *do* trust in the near future, this will be an assurance that he's getting more comfortable with trusting others, however, if this upset and suspicion (and I'm not saying whether it's warranted or not, because I do not know the 'truth' of the situation) continue with other providers, it would be helpful for him to find resources to help him heal.

What a hard situation. Your family has my sympathies.

H.

Added: I know that in our state, I have to have pre-signed forms for administration of medication. This means tylenol, motrin, (I even have a signed consent for sunblock), any antibiotics. I'm very by-the-book on this and always get adult verbal consent before giving any medication, and keep a log too.

I don't think you're paranoid but something I noticed about my own daughter is when she's exposed to new and exciting things, she tends to get worn out and pass out. If this is the first time her son has gone to day care, the more likely explanation is that he had a lot of fun, got worn out, and passed out.

But if I had any suspicion of drugging, I would not hesitate to get his pee tested.

They know their child better than anyone. If the actions were not normal then I say they have every right to be worried and upset. I would have taken my child right to the ER and had them tested. There are a lot of good day care providers but there are also a lot of bad ones too so it doesn't hurt to be careful and find out for sure to ease their minds. After the loss of your BIL 6 month old they would have every right to be on the paranoid side. I hope they get answers.

Well, at that age my daughters would regularly fall asleep on the car ride home from school. When they're busy all day playing with friends, learning new things, following someone else's rules, it is tiring for them! I don't know, I guess she ought to get the kiddo tested at the pediatrician if it will make her feel better, but this sounds like she may be WAY over reacting...

Please keep us updated with how the test turn out. I can't believe a child care provider would do this but I know it does happen. If the test are positive I would report her to the state. The other childrens parents need to be informed of this!

When it comes to your kids I don't think any parent can be too "paranoid". I'm the same way with my kids, and I just plain don't care who cares. They can do what they want with their own kids (or better yet, the ones who don't even HAVE any kids can quit being concerned with me being "paranoid" about mine and have their own to be wanton with). I hope that nothing happened, but if it did I hope the book is thrown at these people.

And I agree with the lady who said TV shouldn't be the baby-sitter. That is rediculous.

If she really thinks he may have been drugged, she should take him to be evaluated at the ER. And there they can take his blood and check his urine.

It seems like she is jumping to conclusions though if she is that worried I suppose seeing a doctor may give her peace of mind. Also a typical 1 teaspoon dose of benedryl is not likely to hurt a healthy 4 year old. The box says to check with a doctor for ages 4-6 but my ped. said it was okay even for my 2 year old. But why would any child care provider give a child medication unless they checked with the parent first?

My high energy 5 year old is tired after a half day of daycare/preschool. His class of 4 and 5 year olds still have nap time at school and most will sleep. I pick him up after lunch so he doesn't nap there. My son won't nap at home unless he is sick or very overtired (or sometimes in the car) but he is way more tired on school days.

If his behavior was so out of the norm, I woudl have gone to urgent care or the pediatircian immediately. Not necessarily because I assumed he was drugged, but because changes in mood or counciousness like tha tcan mean a lot of things - like seizures or concussion.

A mom knows her kid and should trust her instincts about behvior changes. However, I think it is wierd her mind went there first. If she doesn't trust the provider, don't go back. But that is a huge leap to make and a huge accusation. She should call the pediatrician and discuss it. But chances are he is coming down with something or he was just tired. Or they will want her to watch him to see if it happens again.

I'm sorry for your brothers loss, I'm paranoid and havent had that happen to M.! I would get it tested J. in case, since it seems to be a lower quality daycare anyway...they don't even have a tv at my daughters school, I'm not agnst it at home, but at school you're paying them to interact with them....also I agree kids get worn out after school and sometmes even monotone and kinda sad you left them there, or J. processing the day........but if all of her kids were like that I would be suspiceous, although benadryl has never had that drastic affect on my daughter

How awful. From your description these sound like home daycares, not a center. Are these home providers even licensed? So sorry to hear what your family is going through.

That is illegal. No one is permitted to administer drugs to a child for whom they were not authorized.
Call the county and get the woman investigated.

All I can advise is if they have any concerns, all they have to do is call the daycare licensor and report them. They will then be checked out. If the provider did nothing wrong, it will end there. However, I say MOTHERS INSTINCT is usually right!

I agree with the other mom, kids get tired when they are at a new place. everything is new to them, ppl, toys, faces, etc etc..so most likely that could have happened. but good luck and hope all is well in the testing of the urine.

To the person who suggested testing for Melatonin: that's really hinky for a daycare to give children for napping, but it's not really something you can test for. I have to give my middle daughter (8 yrs old) a small dose of Melatonin nightly in order for her to fall asleep due to her having sleep-wake cycle disorder thanks to her Autism. Melatonin is a hormone that the body naturally produces and is what makes you feel groggy and drowsy at bed time telling you that "you're sleepy." After you fall asleep, it's gone by the time you wake up. A child's dose is between .5 -to- 3 mg.

As others have said, some children do fall asleep at times that wouldn't be otherwise expected at other peoples homes. Sometimes because they're comfortable, sometimes because they're not feeling well, sometimes because they had a good hard playtime and are wiped out. I can't rouse my kids from those types of naps when it's time to go home from a play date even if it wasn't a usual nap time... especially if it wasn't a usual nap time.

Anyway, I'm guessing your sister knows how her child behaves after having Benedryl. Whether she ever finds out for sure or not, she's never going to trust that daycare again and that means she shouldn't bring her child there any more. If she does find out that the daycare did it, then I hope she reports it to authorities to deal with especially if this is a licensed daycare (with 2 or more children she must be licensed).

I'm just going to add this tid bit...my house is "conducive of sleep". Everyone says it. When people's children come over for a playdate or if I'm watching them, THEY ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP!! It's a big joke that I've got carbon monoxide or something because children that never sleep even sleep here. Not that I'm making a joke of carbon monoxide poisoning or giving benedryl but I just wanted to let your sister know that sometimes kids just wear themselves out and fall asleep!

This may be way out there, and I didn't read all the other replies to see if anyone mentioned it but if he was really drugged, it could have possibly been that purple drink. Something called purple drank (yes drank) or sizzurp. It's a drink people use to get high mixing prescription cough syrup (usually liquid hydrocodone or vicodin in it) and sprite or 7up and even mix a jolly rancher candy in there to make it taste really like candy. Just read about it online. Maybe a lil far fetched but when you mentioned the purple drink tasting like candy I thought of that. I would have gone straight to the ER too like others said. Have him tested for narcotics. If it's positive than I'd bet it's the purple drink.