My Mom Doesn't Listen to Me!!

when my mom did that i used to get all gunged up about it until i remembered talks we had when i was a teen.
i smile and in a voice polite as i can muster i remind her when she was a young mom and how she said it drove her nuts when my GRANDMA used to do the same thing to her. it took a while but she has eased up a lot. i love her and want her in my kids lives but she needs to respect me that she is granny but i'm mom and an adult and she belittles me when she does opposite of what i ask.

Even though the rash was just a heat rash, it is good that it opned your eyes to the fact that he might have allergies. My son has extremely bad food allergies, you name it & he's allergic to it. But we had to find out the hard way that he had these allergies. The first time he was rushed to the ER with a red rash covering his body and having a hard time breathing. They say there are certain foods that shouldn't be introduced to babies until after they are a year old. Then it should be given in very small amounts. When my son had his first reaction my mom had been eating peanut butter on a banana. She gave my son a bite of the banana that we thought didn't have any of the peanut butter on it. She actually checked the banana to make sure that there wasn't any on there. So the amount that sent him to the hospital in a panic wasn't even visable to the human eye. I hope that your son doesn't have food allergies, but you are right to worry about table foods until you know for sure!!
B. M

My mom did the same thing when she watched them for me to go to school. I dont have any other support and she was all I had so its either you let some things slide or you find another babysitter. You do what you have to. I decided to not let her watch mine at all. She started out giving them crazy foods and putting things in their bottles, which when they were with me, they didnt want their bottle because it wasnt sweet like hers and my babies didnt eat for about a week because of it. She would never tell me what she was doing. I gave her a detailed what not to do and what to do and she made it a point to do what not to do. Anyway, one time I picked them up and my son had welts on him, and she swears nothing happened and he never left his sight. I know accidents happen, its the point that I was not being informed. Anyway, I choose to sacrifice and put school off for the welfare of my kids and I dont have any help now. Even though she was a way for me to get a break, I am alot less stressed because I dont have to worry about her doing something crazy with them. I know exactly how you feel.

Hey, get a note from your dr or the nurse saying what is appropriate for his age!!! Just ask her, "do you want to hurt him?" i mean, i went through this with my mom-in-law...they reared us so they think they know everything. She was feeding my little guy corn flakes, and i freaked out b/c he could choke. She just ignored me, until he got one lodge in his throat!!! Well, i won that disagreement, but at what cost!!!seriosly, get specific instructions from your dr. Good luck!

There is nothing you can really do.especially if she does not listen,hey she raised you , she will not hurt him,You might just want to take him some where else for childcare if she does not listen

oh sweet heart let me tell u this my mother in law gave my 3 day old gravy well that was all i ever seen but i know what you are going threw . I may not have nothing to help but i can tell u what did she eat when she was a baby there probly was not baby food then ,,,

Try to use your mom's experience. As hard as it is to accept, she has had babies (or at least one) before. With my 1st baby - I did everything by the book - breast milk, formula, juice, water -nothing else until she was 4 months old. Then my 2nd - he had reflux so we had to put cereal in his bottles after he was about 2 months old. My 3rd (and last) he started sitting in a high chair with us at the table at 4 months and eating table food. He will eat anything and my oldest 2 are very picky. You are the baby's mother- nothing your mom does or could do can change that. It is tough - your mom sees you as a baby still. My dad was that way (I was 26 when my 1st child was born!!) He would overrule me with my own child when we were visiting them. Finally, i said Dad, I love you but this is my child, and you can't overrule me. I am the authority in her life. If you can't accept that, then we can't come over here anymore. - of course, that wouldn't work for you, as you need them to babysit but you might try calmly talking to your mom, get her to talk about her experiences when she was a young mother, and any interference she may have received from her mom or mil. Otherwise, just sit back and bite your tongue. Grandmas tend to spoil their grandkids, and as long as it isn't hurting the baby - you may just have to grin and bear it!

Good luck!

S.

You have to sit down and talk to her if she doesnt listen then you should consider other babysitting options

I'd have to agree with the moms who said get it straight from the doctor. People in our parents' generation look to doctors as the definitive source. Good advice!

S.

I don't know if you are paying your parents to watch Elias, But if you were maybe you would feel more able to have those boundaries in place. And if all else fells tell her the doctor told you not to give him food, and have a list of things he can eat and cannot

Dear C.,

I was in your position at one time. I was a new young mother and I wanted my son to be taken care of my way. That is why God gave him to me. However my in-laws thought feeding him adult food wouldn't hurt him. I used to get so mad. I would storm out and throw a fit!! They said it wouldnt hurt him, but in fact it did. A babies digestive system doesnt work like ours just yet, and it makes it harder for them to get rid of things like we can. So your looking at upset stomach, overweight, and maybe as you said food allergy. I have a total of two children now and even my second child was fed MY way. My baby, My way.

Their little bodies cant handle stuff like that, although some people seem to think so.

I am afraid that there isnt a whole lot that can be done with your mother, except for maybe you and your husband to split your work schedule. One days, and other nights. That way you can raise your baby properly. Plus save up and get the heck out of there. You will never be at total peace until you have your own place. Your baby feels your stress. Never under estimate your little one. Babies feel more that what you think.

Hope this helped. I will say a prayer for you and your family.

I have a mother similar to yours. Yes I realize she raised you and you made it alright but that isn't the point, right! Well I am suggesting what I did. Have a talk, try leave out the anger, and explain it to her, adult to adult. She isn't treating you like an adult with respect. My mother's main problem was grasping the concept of being a parent to me,an adult and not to two children my daghter and me. Explain your need to be heard and validated by her in this situation as your childcare provider as well as mother. Explain you are feeling taken advantage of and over looked. It is your child and your decisions are final. I suggest being clear and calm and respectful no matter how defensive she may get. remember you have an option to go else where if it isn't working out. We do what is best for our children first as mothers she can understand that I am sure. good luck... N.

My mother in law is that way. It makes me feel like she doesnt respect me as my child's mother. For example, she wants to pick her up this week and have a play date with another kid. I said that was fine as long as she sticks to the plan. Last time she picked my daughter up to go shopping and instead they spent the whole day with my mother in law's boyfriend's family! I told her that she needed to tell me if plans chenged and she got all upset because I have to know where my kid is at all times!!!!! I thought that was my job as a mother but anyway. MY mother, who is fantastic!!!!, lives in Nashville. She loves Babies!!! My daughter is two and my mom did everything I told her too to the T because she didnt want to piss me off plus she knows that every mommy is different and she didnt want something to happen to my daughter and it be her fault :)Anyway That could be another option of someone keeping your son if your mom wont do what you ask.

you might need to next time your child goes to the doctor, take her with you, and just ask the doctor about table food but then my husband did that and still didnt listen, but it can be more bad than good, we tried table food with my son, he stayed with a stomache ache, you may just have to have her go and the doc tell her how its not good, my parents did the same, but also your child will know if it wants it or not... my son quit eating baby food when he was about year old!

I know what you mean! My mother in law has done the same thing to me. I would ask her if she likes getting to keep Elias while you work...of course she will say "yes" that's when I would say well if you continue to feed him things that I don't want him to have I will have to find someone else to keep him who will respect my wishes. I don't mean that you need to be mean to her. You just have to let her know you mean what you say!Hope this helps, A.

C.

Welcome to TN!

My advice is to provide your mom with information from a Doctor about what is and is not good for a child at this age.

Moms tend to think that they didn't do things the way doctors advise now and their babies turned out fine so it must be ok.
I bet she has even said to you that your turned out fine and she isnt caring for him any different than she did you. Right?

If this doesn't work, thn I would seriously consider finding someone else to care for him while you work or find another job. I know that sounds extreme but I think she will always "run" things when it comes to him if you don't stand up for yourself now.

I UNDERSTAND! Right now my mom keeps Camden, our daughter - 11 mo. I have asked her to make sure she gets her morning nap at a certain time so that she is more on a routine and not to feed her certain things in the daytime. For me, the actual behaviors she is doing are not as bad as the fact that I have ASKED her more than once and she continues to do the things I ask her not to. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone! I had to really draw a boundary by telling her that I will find someone who will do the things I ask if you can't or are not willing. That straightened out the sitution for the most part!

Hi! C.,
Have you tried to have your pediatrician talk to your mom? My husband doesn't always believe what I tell him the ped. says regarding our very athletic 9 yr. old. Cell phones are WONDERFUL!!!! I called him right from the docs. office and he couldn't say a thing to argue. He just thinks I am overprotective, but I'm not. I just believe in doctor's orders.He is a lot better. On the other hand my mother likes to give me step by step instructions...say this or do that...it drives me nuts! I am 40 and have four children and one grandson. I finally told her I'm a grown woman respect me. Perhaps you can find another sitter for a few days. Make her think she won't be babysitting if she won't respect your rules for YOUR child. Just a thought. T. D

Well, they probably think they are just being grandparents...all gradnparents do that kind of stuff. But still, it doesn't make it right...he is YOUR child afterall. The only thing you can do is express how you feel about it and tell them if they don't stop then you will have to find different childcare with someone that will listen to your instructions about your son. That may sound mean, but if you worry about him like it seems you do then that may be the only option. I keep kids in my home and I always listen to the parents and how they want things done and we have a great relationship...I wouldn't want it any other way. I do treat them as though they are mine to a certain point because they are here so much (you kinda get to that point after a while)...but everyone knows that I am still just the babysitter even though I love them like they are mine.

Good Luck!!! :)