My Daughter Has Gone to Her Grandparents for 2 Weeks ... Need Help Coping.

You are about to be SWAMPED! Try to think back at fun things you used to do before children, movies, hiking, whatever, and do some of those things now that you will be unable to do later. Even if you don't think it will be fun at first, at least when you're with a 4year old who can't walk too fast or far, or with a newborn you can't take into the movies, you'll have memories and be appreciative.

You have gotten great advice. One thing to add - keep in mind all the wonderful memories that you are allowing her with her grandparents. Grandparents won't be around forever, and you are allowing her to spend this time with them. She is having fun, in good hands, and getting a different perspective on things from the grandparents.

I'm right there with ya girl. All mine are gone for the WHOLE summer. They are 4, 6, and 10, all girls. But for me I am in nursing school so it helps me that they are gone. I just can't think abou them being away or I am a bawling mess! Hang in there and find stuff for you to do. Projects around the house? Hobbies? Girls day/night out? Enjoy the time and know she's in good hands and getting great bonding time with family.

I did this when my daughter was 2. I gets easier after a few more days. Try doing things that it's usually inconvenient to do when you have her with you and you will have more fun. Go to the movies with your husband, or rent a movie she can't see and watch it over dinner. Won't it be nice to start a movie BEFORE she goes to bed? Get in bed after dinner and read a book until you're ready to go to sleep. Go have a pedicure. Go to the pool and just lay there. Go to the beach and just lay there or take a walk and enjoy not watching out for where she is. Try to think of more things you wish you could do more often and go do them so you can enjoy your break and time alone. Have fun!

Gosh, I know how you feel. But I remember that my son at that age would cry for me wherever he was staying and I had to go get him. But that's when he was attempting to spend the night at a friend's or at the babysitter's or grandparents'. But that's far away with your daughter. But what I did when my son went to camp for 6 days, I sat on his bedroom floor and took out all the toys that he no longer needed, put them in a tub. Took out all the clothes he had outgrown. Moved the bed and vacuumed underneath. Painted his room. And added a few new things to surprise him when he came home. That kept me busy when I wasn't working. It's those little things that you can't do when they're there because they won't let you throw stuff out or get rid of it up in the attic or whatever. Work on your picture album that you've gotten behind on. That's something you can never keep caught up on. Be sure to take pictures of her bedroom also, because it will change as the years go on. Go out on dates with your husband while you can. Reignite your passion together.

Enjoy some you time. The second little joy will really come soon and add to the usual crazy day. Take this moment to enjoy a book you've always wanted to read or an activity you've always wanted to do.
I have a 2 1/2 yr old that once in a while will go stay the night with my aunt (the in town Grandma) and I take the time to relax just that much more.
Two weeks will go by fast.

Hi T.,

Sorry to say that it doesn't get any easier. My 12 year old is with my sister for 2 weeks and I'm having the same feelings. It's like a limb is missing from my body. Prayer, AND the fact that I know she is well taken care of and having fun, is the thing that gets me through. I'll add you to mine!

God bless...

M.

I remember when I was 7 months pregnant with my son I had a really pretty bad sinus infection and truly needed to rest. My in-laws suggested my husband and my 3 year old daughter come to Virginia to stay with them for a week. I had never been away from my daughter and I knew I was going to miss her terribly but I felt so bad from being sick I agreed to the much needed break. I took them both to the airport and I had to fight the tears as they got out of the car. I cried all the way home ended up crying myself to sleep. I slept for nearly 12 hours! I knew when I woke up I had made the best decision for all of us. My daughter had great time with her Grandparents and I was able to get some much needed rest.
You need to go to the movies and watch sex in the city (you will laugh), get a manicure and pedicure, catch up with some friends even if it's just on the telephone. Put together some small surprises for when your daughter comes home. Get some of the things done that you never seem to have time to do. The time will go by so quickly and I promise you will not only get through the seperation anxiety but when the new baby comes you will be so glad that you had a chance to relax before the arrival.
Good luck and I wish you the very best!!!!!!
A. C. Mother of a daughter age 3 and a son age 16 months

Seperation can be hard but you definitely know she is having a wonderful time so keep reminding yourself of that. Get out pen and paper and make yourself a list of all the things you would love to do, never have time to do, want to do before she comes home, what are some old hobbies that went by the waste-side, you've got plenty to do before the baby arrives so do as much as you can now while your 4 yr old is away so that you won't have to take that time away when she is back. Plan activities for you to do after she returns home - Go to the library and start getting ideas for crafts, storytimes, games, etc. and gathering the materials you will need. You could easily have a full month of FUN planned for your family of 3 when your daughter comes home. How about that 14 hour ride home - Do some research and see what places you could stop for a picnic or some playtime to break up that long drive, come up with more fun car games. Journal: each time you are missing her and can't distract yourself write her a letter, then keep them all in a keepsake box for her to get in years to come.

Isn't it great to know that she is in good hands!?! My 6 year old is in MO right now and I must admit that I am getting a lot of work done! :) Now is a great time to get those things done that you normally don't have the uninterrupted time to do them in. See if there's something that your husband would like to do with JUST YOU! It's great to think of what you miss with your daughter and then you can plan to do it all when she returns. Every time that you miss her, you can be thankful that she is a part of your life - she IS returning.

C.
chandra4health.blogpost.com

You will need to focus on getting the things done that are hard to do when she is home. Try also surprising her when she arrives home with a new blanket or something. Use your time wisely so that you don't waste it on being depressed. Do things you don't normally get to do like going to lunch with a friend or run errands, so that when you get her home, you can just focus on spending time together.
Also, you can spend time reading a good book that you've been meaning to read, but haven't had the time for.
Take Care, the time will pass quickly and then she will be home.
T.

Okay -- just a thought...why 2 weeks? And why can't you return early and spend some quality time with your mom while grandpa takes your little one fishing? A few days alone with grandparents would be fun.....but I could never understand as a kid (or adult) why it had to be 2 weeks or a month with relatives? Deep down inside I knew my parents loved me - I jsut didn't understand why they wanted me away from them for so long -- although yes, having fun (mine was an aunt & uncle and my mom worked -- so rather than have us sit home all summer. But still I felt closer to my mom even when she was at work because she'd come home at night).
I would make sure my parents did not mind & I would return early. Who makes up these rules? My rule is to always always follow your mommy gut no matter what authority or no matter what anyone else says -- mommy instinct RULES!

I completely understand your feelings. It is hard to be away from our children especially for the first time and so far away. But take comfort in knowing that your precious little one is having a wonderful time with the grandparents and actually making a memory.

Get out of the house and treat yourself to a manni/pedi. You're "you time" if about to come to an end. It is the most important thing you can do. Go shopping, go on a date, have a romantic movie night with your hubby, spend some time with the girls. REST!!! If you have to pack your day full of stuff to do. I let my guys go with the g/p about 6 times a year and it was hard at first, but now I LOVE that time when they are away. It's good for all of us.
God Bless,
R.

I know the feeling. My daughter has been with her grandparents for 8 days now, we go pick her up tomorrow. But she has been away with them up to 12 days before. This time I felt so bored not having her home. I work full-time and so I am busy, but coming home and no one there was just painfully boring. I find myself going through kitchen cabinets and throwing out things we havent used in forever or closets. a few nights ago I began to feel the missing pains. I spoke to her and she was crying, she was fine talking to her dad but not with me. Makes me sad, but I know she is in good hands. There isnt much else we can do except know its fine and you are fine, and being pregnant you can use the quiet time! :) congrats on the 2nd baby and you daughter is in good hands....

I can understand how you feel this way esp if this is the first long distance trip away from you.

But, please try to enjoy this time you have to re-energize yourself and just pamper yourself.

To many time we moms lose ourselves in our roles as mom and wife. I believe that we have to take care of ourselves first in order to be great moms in the first place (not saying you are not doing that now).

I know I love the fact that we get a break from our daughter at least once a week ... when she spends the night with my mom. It is a god-sent.

I, however, can imagine just how sad one can be if that distance is further away.

Hugggsssss.

T. - I remember when my oldest (now 11) left to go with our church group on a camping trip during the summer. I drove about 3 hours to take her. Now I had 2 younger siblings still at home but honey it doesn't make any difference. The first born usually gives you all emotional "Mommy" moments - good and bad. I could hardly force myself to leave her that afternoon. But she had a great time and grew from it. Which is what we are supposed to do for them.

It just shows how deeply you love your daughter and you are not alone, you have a precious life inside you too.
Try to take this time to do something good for yourself, something you would not be able to do if your daughter was with you. Time really is short, she will be back before you know it.

Kind regards

M. F

You have already received a lot of great answers - I have no profound words to add. But - only to say, some day, if all goes the way you want it to go - you will be the grandmother taking care of your grandchild while your child drives away. And - you will know how hard it is for your child to go through this stage - and you will smile, because you will KNOW, the best one anyone can know (by living it yourself), that this too shall pass.

Follow the advice those who have advised you to divert yourself and treat yourself (this will be your last chance to spend time alone for a while!) - and - my babies are 38, 36 and 28 and - I am 1500 miles away from them (not by choice) and I still miss them sooooo much! But - that has us enjoy the time we do get to spend together all the more.

Enjoy!

Hey, T.~ God bless you, lil lady!! Sounds like you are a very devoted and caring mother. So, what did you do before your little one? Did you have any hobbies or like to hang with your girlfriends? This might be a good time to reconnect with yourself and/or them. Another thought- maybe you could organize photos or make a scrapbook that has to do with your daughter. This way you can be absorbed in a project, look at her photos, and in a way be with her in spirit. Good luck and keep your chin up- 2 weeks will pass be fore you know it!!

I know how much you miss her, I had to leave my three year old with my mom 500 miles away for a month while i looked for work and got a first paycheck to pay for his daycare. It just wasn't the same without him and I missed him so much. What helped was my mom made a littel website with pictures put up everyday and an audio clip of him saying goodmorning and goodnight to me, I also had a webcam that was constantly running so i could see what he was doing.

During this precious time you need to MAKE yourself have fun, take care of yourself. Get a haircut, a facial, a pedicure, go play tennis or ride a horse or go to the beach like you did as a kid, for you and not for the kids. Take this time to enrich your life with experiences all your own. you will be a better mom for taking care of yourself and perhaps this is the beginning of a great tradition.