My Baby Is Growing up...just Need Another Opinion...

I see no problem with it at all. She sounds like a great kid.
For her birthday take her out(just the two of you) for a nice meal, maybe some shopping and then get her belly pierced. I wish my mother and I had the same relationship you two have.
Happy Holidays!!!

It is just a piercing. The more you say no the more they want to do. I know because I did it. I'm 30 now and don't regret anything but I peirced everything that I could because my mom couldn't see. And you also don't know if she will try to do it herself and cause an ugly scar. Some places won't even do it if they don't think it will stay. Because she is so young it could grow out and also leave a nasty scar. Sorry to go on...

If you don't have a problem with it I would tell her to wait 6 mos - 1 year and if she still wants it then she can get it. The only risk of a belly button piercing is infection.

I would say no. I'm 27 and have had my fair share of pirecing. I'm down to only 2 left. my little cousin is 15 and her mother has let her get it pierced twice. Why twice you ask? Because they can grow out. It doesn't happen to everyone but it is VERY common. Basically your body rejects the foreign object and pushes it out. Also belly buttons have a high rate of infection. The get irrated by being rubbed on jeans and such and aren't infected but then the person thinks it is and puts stuff on it to "heal" it and make it worse. I know lots of people who have them and have no problems but I know just as many people have them and have all of these problems. She is still young so I'd have to agree w/ PP and say to ask her to wait. I'd even ask her to wait until she is 16 or 17. That way she is more mature and might be over the idea of it. If not it would be a nice "sweert 16" present. But of course in the long run it's up to you. Maybe if you decide to let her do it then make her look up info on it and become more knowledgeable on the topic before she gets it done.

Hi S.!

First, let me say that is sounds like you are a great mom with a great group of kids. It is wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your daughter, it’s great that you realize what a good girl & student she is and want to reward that accordingly, and I also think that it’s great that you’re giving this some consideration instead of telling her “yes” or “no” right away.

Second, I apologize in advance for how long this post is going to be, I guess I’m just one of those people that talk too much. I’m going to give you my opinion, the reasons for it, and then some options for what you and your daughter can do before reaching your ultimate decision.

My Opinion
If it were me, I wouldn’t let her get the belly ring. Ultimately, the decision is up to you and many others brought out some good points for both sides.
Here are my reasons why not:
-I think 14 is too young. Not because of the responsibility, but I just don’t think a 14yo should wear a belly ring or anyone under 18 for that matter. I don’t have a problem with belly rings…I just don’t think they’re appropriate for young/teenage girls, something about a teenage girl wearing one just rubs me the wrong way.
-With the belly ring could come the desire to start dressing to show it off. Are you ready for her to begin wearing mid-drifts?
-With the belly ring/mid-drifts comes more attention from guys. Is that the kind of attention you want your 14yo getting? Unfortunately, belly rings are “sexy” whether someone means them to be or not and regardless of their intentions behind getting it. Boys are already going to begin to show her attention and even more so with the belly ring/mid-drift. You want to be sure that she’s getting attention for the right reasons.
-If she wants a belly ring at 14, what will she want at 15 or 16? Will it begin to change how she dresses or acts, and will the way she dresses only get more provocative with age? Maybe not, but it’s something to consider. This may not be a precedent that you want to set.
-Belly piercings are a lot of responsibility and there is a great risk of infection. Personally, at 27, I wouldn’t want to take the risk of getting pierced and having to deal with infection…in fact…I don’t even want the pain involved in actually getting pierced. And I wouldn’t want to see my daughter (if I had one) get an infection and be in pain, uncomfortable, or have a scar.
-Her body isn’t done changing at 14. The piercing may be fine now and then begin to give her problems later on as she matures and her hormones change. I had my ears pierced when I was 7 and didn’t have any problems with them (I had my ears pierced in a doctor’s office…just one in each ear). All of the sudden at around 16 my right ear began reacting to earrings. To this day, regardless of whether I wear gold, silver, surgical steel, etc., if I put an earring in my right ear it gets red, swollen, itchy, and begins to puss.
-What about her younger sisters? If you allow this daughter to get a piercing…will the others want one when they are 14? This may not be a problem, but what if they aren’t as responsible. My sister and I (a year apart) were both good kids and we both had contact lenses…but my sister was never responsible with them, always losing them, ripping them, not caring for them properly. She even scratched her cornea once because she didn’t clean them properly. Even if your other kids are good kids, you may have one that just isn’t responsible enough to care for the piercing and ends up getting a bad infection…but if big sis got one at 14 is it fair for them not to?
-You said that “she is truly still a little girl”. But obviously she’s showing some signs of growing up if she wants a belly ring. At this age she will begin to grow up and change more rapidly. This particular thing (belly ring) is something that you may not want to rush in the “grown up” department. High school is a whole other world and brings out many new opportunities and possibilities that she didn’t have before (good and bad), and the school work will become more difficult. Things are going to begin to change for the both of you and hopefully it will be a pleasant experience. She is going to begin to grow up no matter what…but in this particular instance…why rush it?
-Why does she want the belly ring? If it’s for the wrong reasons, then don’t let her get it. Even if it’s for self-esteem, I think it’s a bad idea. True self-esteem comes from the inside, not the outside. I remember watching “The Swan” where they gave her one of those extreme makeovers. She felt really good about herself for a little while and then later she went on Dr. Phil and was saying how she still felt bad about herself and still felt ugly. Of course, that might not be why she wants it, but I just wanted to mention that.

About rebellion
Quite a few people mentioned that if she doesn’t get it now she’ll get it later or find a way around it. I just want to say that not every kid is rebellious; it’s really just a personality thing. If my mom told me no about something when I was younger…I just left it at that. My sister on the other hand would try to find every way to get around a rule or do the opposite of what she was told. We were raised by the same exact parents…we just had different personalities.
Just because you tell a kid “no”…doesn’t mean they’re going to run around being all rebellious. I believe that ground rules need to be laid down…I mean, we can’t go around just saying “yes” to everything because we feel things will be worse if they rebel.
Once kids turn 18, they’re going to do what they want regardless of what their parents told them. They’re going to get piercings, tattoos, date who they want, and dress how they want…even if their parents were lenient with them.
I just don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes for fear that your good little girl will turn into a hellion because you wouldn’t let her get her belly button pierced. That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.
Either way, whether you decide to tell her yes or no, below is the way that I would handle it if it were me. I think it’s a responsible approach and it keeps the communication with your daughter open and has her involved in the decision making.

Your talk with her
Set aside a time to talk to her, when it’s just the two of you with no interruptions (maybe pop some popcorn or have some ice cream while you talk), be sure there’s no tv or music on in the background that might be a distraction. Then the conversation could go something like this:
“I know that your birthday is coming up and you’ve mentioned that you want to get your belly button pierced. I want you to understand that getting a belly ring isn’t the same as getting your ears pierced and it can be more painful and you might get some infections. If I were to allow you to get this piercing it would be a very grown up thing, and because of that I’m going to ask you to help me make this decision like a grown up. (Now you would explain the things that you want her to do, make the list of why she wants it, the research, etc.) I know that this sounds like a lot to ask instead of me just saying “yes or no”, but getting a belly piercing would be a big responsibility. Now, remember, I have not made my decision yet…you may do all of this work and I might still say “no”, it’s up to you whether or not you want to bother doing this work. However, if you decide not to do any of this work, I will tell you now that the answer is no. Is this something that you are willing to do?”
(If she says “no”, then it’s not that big of a deal to her to begin with and it also shows that she might not want the responsibility of caring for the belly ring if she doesn’t even want the responsibility of doing the research. But if she says “yes”…tell her that you’ll meet again in two weeks or a month (however long you think she needs to do her research) and she can show you her research and you two can discuss it again.)

Do the research
I think it’s important for your daughter to do some research on her own to show her responsibility/maturity in the matter. But you still need to do your own research separately. This way if she does not bring you enough information or only went onto “pro-piercing” websites that weren’t as informative, you still have some backup information to show her.

The 2nd Talk
When you have your second meeting where she is to show you her “homework”, let her go first. Let her show you the different things that she wrote, what she found, have her read it to you and you can go over it and discuss it together. You may ask her to expound on what she wrote, such as if under “reasons why I want a belly ring” she put, “because it’s cute”…you might want to ask her what does that mean, explain it to me, etc. After you’re all done discussing the information that she has, now it’s time to discuss the information that you have. Show her your own info, websites, pictures, etc. that you have found out about piercing. Tell her what the doctor said, the piercing parlors, and others that you’ve talked to, etc.
Once you’ve both went over this info ask her if she still want the piercing and if she would care for it properly, etc. After finding out all about it, she may just change her mind and not even want the piercing. If she does still want it, then tell her you need some time to make your decision and you’ll meet again to give her your answer.
Why the 3rd meeting? Well, after you do your own research, you may decide that it’s ok for her to get the piercing. However, I think you should have time to consider the info that she brought to you. Perhaps some of the reasons why she wants the piercing may concern you, or perhaps she didn’t put a lot of effort into gathering the info. Some of what she says to you may cause you to change your decision. Or perhaps after doing your own research you decide that you don’t want her to get the piercing. You don’t want to just blurt out “no” after she spends the time gathering info and have a discussion about it. I think it is best (even if you’ve already made your mind up one way or the other), to take some more time. I think that she’ll feel that you’re really considering her work and treating her like a grown up and she’ll really understand about making informed, responsible decisions. This also proves as a very positive lesson for future decision making and she’ll remember it as she gets older and needs to make more & more decisions on her own. I don’t know if she’s the type of kid that would “bug” you for an answer, like, “have you made your decision yet? have you made your decision yet?”…if she is, then tell her that you won’t discuss the belly piercing again until your final “meeting”.

The Decision
If you decide no –
-Tell her how proud you are of all of the work she did researching (unless of course, she didn’t do much research…then that would be on your list of reasons why not). Tell her how proud you are of her for being such a good daughter and a good student.
-Now tell her that you have decided not to let her get the piercing and give her all of the reasons why not.
-Ask her if there’s anything else special that she’d like for her birthday. Or come up with another great special alternative for it, and tell her that you’ve planned something else very special for her that you’ll surprise her with on her birthday.
If you two are as close as you say, I feel that she’ll really respect your decision and although she may be a little disappointed, I highly doubt she’ll fly off the handle and begin to rebel.
-You also need to be clear with her about your decision. Is this a firm “never-ever” until she’s 18 and can get it on her own decision? Or is this a “not right now/ wait till 16” decision? If you do tell her that she can get it later…then you have to be fair and not change your mind about it later. More about this under “If you decide yes”.
If you decide yes –
-Tell her how proud you are of all of the work she did researching. Tell her how proud you are of her for being such a good daughter and a good student.
-Tell her that you’ve decided to let her get the piercing, but there are some conditions that she’ll need to agree to first.
-Now you discuss with her about keeping her grades up, her responsibilities for caring for it, the kind of clothes that are inappropriate to wear, and your limitations for the future (these things are all mentioned below).
-I would also make a “one time only” rule. So if the ring needs to be removed because of infection or because she didn’t uphold the conditions…it comes out and never goes back in. You don’t want to make a habit of the ring coming out as a form of grounding and having to have it constantly repierced.
-As silly as it sounds, I would even write out a “contract”. Basically you just make a list of all of the conditions that she’s to uphold and you both sign it. This way there’s no arguments later that one of you isn’t holding up their end of the deal. It’s also another grown up and responsible thing that I believe will stick out in her mind as she’s getting older.
-If you set out all of these conditions and ask her to sign the contract and she doesn’t agree to it, then that’s the end of that. I would also let her know that this “deal” is only good right now. She can’t decide that she doesn’t want to agree to it now and then a month or year later decide that she’ll sign it and get the piercing.
Perhaps you decided that she can get the piercing but that she must wait (whether it be 6 months or until she’s 16, whatever you decide)…then you will still lay out all of the conditions mentioned above (including the contract) right now. She’s to uphold the conditions up until she gets pierced and afterwards. If you tell her that she can get pierced when she’s 16 and at 15 her grades start slipping…then she doesn’t get the piercing at 16 unless she brings her grades back up. I would also be sure to mention attitude and behavior in your conditions. Unfortunately sometimes a kid that’s sweet as pie can turn into a back-talking brat when going they’re through puberty. Let’s hope that this doesn’t happen, but in the off-chance that it does…you don’t want to have to reward the smart-mouthed 16yo with a belly ring that was meant for the well-behaved 14yo. So be sure that she knows if she starts acting up in the meantime, the deal is off.

Mom’s Homework
1. Make a list of cons. All the reasons why you think she shouldn’t get a belly ring. Be honest and thorough. Cover everything from her age, to the responsibility, infections, and boys.
2. Make a list of pros. All the reasons why you think it is ok for her to get a belly ring. This would include all of the things you mentioned about her being a good student and a good kid, and any other reasons you would have for approving the piercing.
3. Make a list of conditions if you were to allow her to get a piercing. Grades must stay good, must keep her room clean, stay well-behaved, etc. If she doesn’t hold up to one or more of these conditions, the piercing comes out. I would also make a clothing list, of things that you find inappropriate to wear and won’t change just because of the belly piercing (If she doesn’t wear mid-drifts now, it won’t be “ok” all of the sudden just because she has a piercing to show off).
4. Make a list of limitations for the future, things that you won’t allow her to do (especially if there’s other things that she’s mentioned), such as no tongue ring or tattoos when she turns 16 just because she’s older and already has a belly ring.
5. Talk to her doctor/family doctor and get their opinion on the matter and any additional information they could give you on the subject.
6. Do research online about piercings, infections, etc.
7. Research local places that are an option for getting the piercing. Talk to the different places and get their feedback on it as well.
8. Do you know other adults or teens that have a belly piercing? Talk to all of them and/or their parents. Find out their reasons for getting the piercing, where they went, their experiences, what doctor they used if/when they got an infection, their reason for removing it (if they have), etc.

Daughter’s Homework
1. Write a paper or make a list of the reasons why she wants the belly piercing.
2. Make a list of pros and cons for getting a piercing.
3. Do research about piercings, caring for them, infections, etc. She should make a list of info, “bookmark” pages, and/or print out info to show her findings to mom.
4. Perhaps “interview” some people that she knows that have belly piercings.

An alternative “gift”
If you decide not to let her get her belly-button pierced, but you still want to do some special for her…consider this. Perhaps have a mother-daughter “spa” day. Go out just the two of you and get facials, a manicure, and pedicure. If it’s something that she’s interested in, maybe even take her to a salon for a new hairdo/cut and/or take her out and buy her a new outfit. Maybe even take her out to eat at her favorite restaurant or perhaps a nice adult restaurant that she may like to go to. I think it would be a great bonding time for just the two of you, she’s getting pampered, and she’ll feel like an adult. You don’t have to do all of it, maybe just pick a few things that she’d like…but it would still be special for her especially if you don’t do it all the time.

No matter what you decide…
You may have already made up your mind one way or the other. Either way, please don’t just go up to her and say, “I’ve decided no.” or “Yay! Let’s go get pierced today”. I think that the discussion and the research will be beneficial either way, for your daughter. It can either highlight the cons for her and she may change her mind (or at least understand “why” better if you say no)….or if you decide “yes” she’ll understand that this is an adult responsibility that she’ll have to deal with maturely. If you act all non-chalant about it and just go skipping off to the tattoo parlor…she may not understand the responsibility that will come along with caring for it. No matter what you decide this is a great way to teach her about making responsible decisions and show her that she can come to you about things and you will consider them and help her. It may sound like a lot of work, but I think it’s the best way to go.

Well, wow…I hope that helped some. I really do apologize for it being so long. I’m sure all of the ladies on here would like to hear about how you end up handling this…whether she gets the ring or not and how you went about it. You sure did get a lot of responses and advice here to think over. I wish you the best of luck and kudos again for being such a good mom with great kids!

God bless,
J. B
Beaver Falls, PA

P.S. Totally off the subject, but I have a girls youth group and Bible study that meet once a month and it’s for girls ages 12-18, there’s about 16 girls that attend right now. If you live in Beaver County and think that Rayiesha would be interested in joining us, just check our website and then contact me for more info: www.christiangirlclub.com

Belly piercings in my opinion are a minor evil compared to what else could be done...

That being said, here are my recommendations:

Understand the Ugly (read on).

Make sure that it is something she truely wants (no pressure from friends (bets, dares, ect) or others who are getting it done), I think 13 is a little young. Perhaps for her 16th birthday?

Have a doctor that supports the idea and will prescribe and antibiotic at the first sign of infection.

Understand it will get infected no matter what you do. Only the level of infection is controllable. Belly buttons are dirtier than you think. I have yet to meet someone who did not get an infection, and I got it both times.

I had my belly button pierced the first time when I was 19. I cleaned it several times a day as I was supposed to and applied the ointment. It never healed and was always slightly infected and painful. I had it taken out after 9 months (just before my son was due to be born) and it closed immediately. Fair warning: IT HURT LIKE A MOTHER ******!!!!! Wow! It hurt me so bad I was laughing hysterically. If your daughter can handle very large needles and a large clamp pinching the life outta her belly button, then she'll be fine. I was VERY queasy and a friend had to drive me home.

When my son was over a year old I had it repierced. I ended up with a massive infection (in part due to the young toddler I had hitting it accidently). The infection pocket was about half an inch off my belly and about 1 inch across. It was unbelieveable. Having a doctor that supports the idea and will prescribe a 10 day antibiotic if this happens is a definate plus to keeping the piercing. Until I had this massive infection and an antibiotic, my piercing did not heal. Ever since I have never had a problem with it (and it's often neglected at this point) and its been almost 3 years since I had it redone. It took it about 4 months to heal.

Once it heals I highly recommend her getting a bar. Navel piercings are done with a hoop that can only be removed by the parlor (for a good reason) so it is easier to clean and care for. Once it heals a bar is the best way to go and the parlor will help her chose one. The hoop gets caught on various items (a grand hazard, my son's finger actually got caught in it) and can get stuck facing one direction or another due to pressure from the clothes. I slept in a sports bra for a couple days to let it breath and to keep some of that clothing pressure off. Bars will sit flat against the skin and give her more variety in design. I do not recommend plastic. I have only used metal and have heard it is much better to use. The only time I have ever used plastic is when I had to have surgery on my wrist since the electromagnetic field in the room can pull it out ripping the skin.

I'm sure I was a little graphic, but people need to understand the ugly side of certain things, not just the pretty outcome. If she gets it done, she has at least a 6 month battle finding out if her body will keep it (the body can reject it entirely pushing it out).

Good Luck, I hope this was helpful.

as to your ? it is totally up to you but from my own experiences, i am only 23 and a mother to a 2year old. i have 13 tattoos and multiple piercings but my mother made me wait until i was 18 to get any. i think that this is the best thing b/c at that age you are old enough to make your own decisions. she is 14 now if you let her get this piercing it is going to get old soon and she will want more and more. if you make her wait and think about it at the ealiest i would allow it at 16 they aren't so spontaneous then. not only that but a belly button piercing is one of the most painful and hard to take care of. if you don't watch they get infected very easily. i would truly reconsider letting her get it done until she is older.

I have a daughter that will be 14 in feb also! We are going through the same thing and she is also a good kid and involved in plenty of after school activities. Anyway...my response is make her wait until she is 16 most places won't touch her till that age anyway. She still has growing to do too. When she reaches 16 take her to Dragon Moon Tattoo in Glen Burnie .. they will advise her and help her make the best decision and the are very sterile....so no infections!!!

I had mine peirced but I was 20 when I had miney done. I don't think its a big deal. Yes it does hurt. Its not permanant, if you take the ring out the whole will close up.

Please let her get the piercing! You have to be at least 100 pounds to get pierced. Mine took exactly ONE YEAR to heal, but it was worth it. There is nothing wrong with piercings and I believe that it is the same as getting your ears pierced. My daughter can't wait until she weighs enough!

Let your piercing Techician know if she has any allergies to metals. Typically the jewelry they use is surgical, so there are no issues, but you never know...
GOOD LUCK!!

S.,
First of all I think it's great that you're remaining open-minded!!! Just a couple more things to think about with a belly button ring. They are highly prone to infection. Your daughter needs to be responsible enough to clean it several times a day for at least a month. Possibly longer. Belly button piercings also take eons to heal. It will look healed in about a month, but actually takes up to 6 months (or more in some cases) to completely heal. Lastly, during the healing time, waistbands across the belly button are extremely uncomfortable. Granted most people don't wear those types of pants these days, just one more thing to take into consideration.

If you feel that your daughter is mature enough to care for the piercing... why not. Make sure you take her to a reputable tattoo/piercing studio. I've had all mine (tongue, eyebrow, belly button) done in regular tattoo parlors, and had great results with all of them.

Good luck!

I admire you open mindedness with your daughter. You are blessing to her if she can talk to you about anything.
I am not in favor of body piercings myself.

I would be a bit slow to commit to a body piercing just yet. Although she is nearly 14, you mentioned that she is still a little girl. Would she be able to care for the piercing? Would she be able to keep it clean? She is still growing and her body still has a ways to go before it is fully mature. A pierced belly button could get very stretched out and look deformed if she hits a very rapid growth period.

I would hold off until she is a bit more mature.
-B.

hi S.,
I was 14 when my mom let me get my belly button pierced. I actually got a bad reaction to the ring they used. I figured it out a few days after i got it. I actually had to use a GOLD ring for about a month or 2. I figured since i can only have gold in my ears then i must have to have gold in my belly button. That is just something to think about. Well GOOD LUCK.

S.,

I agree with some of the prev moms and some I disagree...Just from my personal experience I had mine pierced...Explain to her the ups and downs of getting this done, both times my body rejected it...then second time I got it done it ended up getting infected worst than the first time and kinda left a keloid in which in time went away, but still I think she is too young to have to go through that type of pain, not to say it's going to happen to her but it is that slight possibility...She is still too young to grasp the concept of the full responsibility that will come out of that...It's almost like caring for a newborn b/c it's so sensitive and will hurt at the mere touch of almost anything...At the same time it's good that you are considering it b/c I did mine only b/c my mom didn't want me to...so that fact that you can talk to her about things like that is great and she should respect your decision for what it is...don't set the boundary as in do it when you get old enough to take care of your self, b/c that what happened to me, so guess what I got 3 tattoos belly button pierced and the list goes on only b/c I was unable to get the support of my mom...

Also like one other mom said it draws attention to that area of the bottom b/c as soon as the weather breaks she will want to wear tops that show off the belly ring which will in turn bring in the wrong type of guy for her...Are you prepared for that? I say to think more about it but give her another 2-3 yrs, maybe it's just a faze she's going through and it will pass...

I don't see anything wrong with letting her get a belly button piercing. A ring can always come out and close up if she gets tired of it so no permanent damage done. It may be a fun bonding thing for the two of you to go together. Just make sure she goes some place clean with a good recommendation. 14 is a hard age and girls struggle with there self esteem maybe this will also give her a boost and make her feel more comfortable with her body. Good luck!

I have a 12 year old that is also pushing the limits to see what she can do. So I know your confusion. My thought on the situation is that belly button piercings are jewlery for your mid-drift. So most people want to wear clothes that expose the mid-drift - not sure if that is something you want her doing just yet.

They are designed to catch boy's eyes and say "hey look at how old I am (since you have to be over 16 in most states without a parents permission) and look at my sexy body"

My other thought is if you allow her to pierce her belly button at 14, what will she want to do at 15? My daughter wants to wear mascara - I told her no, she can't wear it until she is 13. Not that mascara is that big of a deal - it is just that once she conquors that rule she will be onto eyeliner and eyeshadow. So I hold her off as long as I can.

Good luck. I know it is hard especially when the kid is good and not in trouble.

hi S.!!

this takes me back!! well, honestly i with all the things that you said she likes to do, i really don't see a problem with getting her belly button pierced. it's in a descreet area and as long as you know her reasoning behind it - even if it's to show it off during the summer - then that's okay. i think making sure to talk to her about how even though she might not want it to come accross a certain way some people might percieve that piercing as something negative...and if her mind's in the right place then she should be fine....

keep the lines open for discussion and it's up to you and her, not your mom so much...
my mother didn't let me get a body piercing until i was 18 but i had alot of holes in my ears and the thing about piercings is they close up ;)

I'm 21 and have just started my piercings and tattoos. I waited until now because my father (what passed away in 2005) said it wasn't allowed while I lived under his roof and I respected that.

My personal feeling is that if you don't mind it go ahead. It may be better for you to take her to have it done rather than her having a friend or some back alley piercer do it for her. Research the establishments in your area. Make sure their piercers are certified and they use autoclave sterilization. Also mind the piercing, check it for her (she may have a hard time seeing it) and help her with cleaning, which may also be difficult for her.

IF you like it, you may also want to get it done yourself.

Yes, let her have it. There are a lot of ways she could get what she wants without your permission. She seems like a great kid that you have a great relationship with. This can only make your relationship better. You will both have a great time going to have it done. It will be great one on one time. Just make sure that you go to a reliable piercing parlor. Good luck. Merry Christmas...
A.

I also have a 14 yr old daughter that is requesting the belly button ring. I have refused it thus far because:
Who will see it?
What are you going to wear for people to see it?
To me, it looks to sexual...

I made the horrible mistake of letting her get her nose pierced. I thought no big deal, they have those nose rings that are so small you can hardly see it. I had a panic attack as soon as it was done and then wanted it out. She left it in, but not long before she got tired of taking care of it.

It is a personal decision but I think 16 is more appropiate.

Personally, if it were my daughter I would ask her to wait to make that decision until she is 15 years old. Not that she is going to be much more mature, just that she will have a year to think about it. Also, I would help her research belly button piercing, how to care for them and the possible complications so that she is clearly aware of what she is getting into. Once she is 15, if she still wants to do it, I would take her because I would want to make sure it is being done in a clean envionment. REMEMBER, this is just my opinion.

This is a very hard decision and you need to figure out what to do based on your own belief system and what works for your family. Good luck.
-Barbara

I think it's great that your even considering it! I really dont understand what the big deal is. When she grows up and doesnt like it anymore then she just takes it out! Of course you realize you're going to have to go with her because of her age and I'm sure all her friends are going to be jealous of what a cool mom she has!!

I have several friends with it done and as long as you look into where she gets it and go with her to make sure its a new needle it should be fine. My little cusion wanted it for her 15th birthday and my aunt said she would think about it and instead of just amber geting it i know that my aunt and her both got it for her birthday it was a great thing that just the two of them did to celebrate her birthday. Amber has a older sister who is always in give me mode and a set of 8 yr old twin sisters so it was something her and mom did together with no other kids. My aunt took hers out i think before she had surgery for a non cancer mass and the doctor told her it would close so amber took hers out to i think they are talking about doing it again for her 18th birthday next yr. i hope this helps.

i think she is to young for that piericing.

if she is responsible & does well in school i see no problem. it isnt forever.

I would say that she has to show a dedicated interest in it. I would suggest making her do some research- like even write you a paper about it, (I know it sounds like a lot, but this way she can be truly informed about what she is getting into) I would still probably wait until she was a little bit older- but that is just me, just because you want to make sure she keeps up with the daily maintenence. I agree with the person who suggested making her wait 6- to a year and if she still wants it, and she's done her homework and research, then she is more likely to be dedicated about it after it is done. Anyway, I would make sure you all shop around to a very reputable tattoo parlor, and I would see about having her sit in on someone else getting their bellybutton pierced, so she has a clear understanding of what it is like, and interview a couple of people who have had it done.

The bellybutton is one of the most high maintenence piercings. It gets infected *easily* because of where it is on your body and the way clothes fit. I know low rider pants are in style- but most regular style women's/girls pants ride up right there and it can be torture. You may want to consider letting her get the fake piercing for now, to let her see what it kind of looks like, and if it is something she really wants to have- all without the actual pain and maintenence. I still have a scar from where mine was- and it's been, hmm, about a decade, so while it is less permanent than a tattoo- it could still mean that she has remnants for the rest of her life on it.

The other thing I would have her do is really analyze why she wants it done. Is it because someone she looks up to at school has it? Is it because she thinks boys will be more interested in her if she gets it? Is it because she thinks it looks cool or adult? You all sound like you have a good relationship, let her be honest in her reasoning, however flawed it might be. Depending on her answer it might be a good opening to discuss some alternatives or better routes to get what it is she desires, without having to do a piercing.

Here are some sites about piercings...
Good info for teens on piercings
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/body-piercing.html

site with some pictures of infections
http://www.painfulpleasures.com/piercings_gone_bad.htm

AAFP site- shows the scarring possible if she ever gets pregnant, and other research about piercings
http://www.aafp.org/afp/20051115/2029.html

(in having her do homework- make sure she is looking at reputable sites- not just tattoo shop sites, ones that are associated with the medical profession, .org, .edu, see if she can't look through some online databased that the local community college can access her to, as well as see if the library has anything)

Also... do not go to a piercing shop that is in a beach town, or high tourist area- they tend to be less reputable. If you all go this route, and go into a shop and inquire, if they do not right away sound very professional, answer any questions, show you their qualifications/certifications/etc, and most specifically ask how old she is, and require you to fill out some forms with her, and basically make sure that this is what you want to do, legally... then leave and go somewhere else. Anyplace that is careless or breaks the law in regards to the age limits set is not going to be the cleanest. Make sure you can see the needles and jewelry coming out of the autoclave (the sterilizing machine) and watch them lay it out, and make sure they are wearing fresh rubber gloves and whatnot.

First off, I don't know if she can get a piercing at that age. Rules may have changed but I had mine pierced when I was 18, and I know at that time you could only get one as early as 17 with your parents permission. If she is able to get one, my personal opinion is to allow her. I don't think it's that big of a deal. A lot of people think it's to show off to guys, etc. but when I had mine done I really just thought it was cute and a lot of girls were doing it. It wasn't for attention and all of that, it was really just for myself. If she's a good kid, does good in school, stays out of trouble, you can make that her reward for that behavior.

I would go ahead and let her do it, under certain conditions and such.
1) Make a big point about the fact that you're letting her do this because she's such a good kid. Her grades are good, she actively involved in all that stuff, she stays out of trouble, she comes to you with anything. Make her really feel like it a reward for being the best kid in the world type thing!!

2) Do make sure that she understands how much it's going to hurt, how long it's going to take to heal, how much care is involved to keep it from getting infected. Oh and not to scare her off, but go ahead and find a couple pictures of infected belly peircings on line!!

3) Make sure she knows if she don't care for it, it's coming out! If her grades drop or any of her behavior changes for the worse, it's coming out!!

Last but not least in my ramblings... Let her know right then in there what you won't let her do... Like she may think, Ok I'm good this year... I'll keep being good and next year I can get my eyebrow peirced and the following year my tongue and the year after that a tattoo... If you have boundries let her know what to expect, or not expect in this case!!! Just tell her, "I'm letting you get this belly peircing, that doesn't mean I'll approve of a eyebrow next year" Or whatever your boundries may be!!

Good luck!!

I tend to lean on the side of *why on Earth is it so important?* and what's gonna be so super important next?

When I was her age, it was adventurous to get a second hole in one ear (and yes, I did it myself), then a few years later, I got a couple more ...

I've lways felt like piercings are like tattoos --- or lays potato chips <lol>. One is never enough and always a good idea to delay the gratification a bit, 'ya know?

Just my .02 though ;-)
A.

Hi S.!
I have a 16 yo daughter who flirted with the idea of getting her belly button pierced. I didn't see a problem with it. She eventually chickened out.
Personally, I don't see a problem with it. If you feel the same way, then why not? Is it because your mom doesn't like it? Well, she's not her mom! You are. If your daughter is a good girl and not getting into trouble, then give her that little "luxury" of a belly piercing! Happly Holidays!
AMH :)

If you feel she is mature enough I’d let her get it. Use this as another opportunity to encourage healthy lines of communication. Research it together and have her make a list of the pros and cons and weigh them both together. It’s a great way to show her good decision making and how it’s always a good idea to stop, think and do the research. Maybe she’ll decide to wait until she is older or maybe she won’t but if you look into it together she can’t say she didn’t understand the consequences.

I agree with some else's response before mine.
I think belly button rings are too sexual. She is 14, still a young girl who is entitled to the right of being a young girl and you need to protect that.
I would ask her to wait for a couple of years and then if she still wants it you can talk about it again at that time.

when i was in high school i begged and begged my mother to get my naval pierced. she said no. now at nearly 27 i am glad she said no. after i turned 18 i got 3 tattoos and several piercings. now i am glad she said no. i have a younger brother and my dad and his mom allowed him to get all kinds of tattoos and piercing before he was 18. i just think that is wrong. if i have a daughter and she asks me to get her belly button pierced i am gonna make her wait until she 18 like my mom did.

there will be plenty of time to grow up, why rush it?

I would let her do it. When I was 15 I was very similar to your daughter. A good kid who wanted to do something a little crazy. My mom was very open-minded and let me do it. Her mentality was that it was better to let me do that, than for me to go out and try to do something wild or crazy without her supervision and/or permission. I never had a problem with my piercing, and I had it for 5 years. You do have to clean it several times a day until it is healed, but if your daughter is as excited about it as I think she will be that won't be an issue. And if she does this with your permission (rather than behind your back) you'll be able to keep an eye on it just in case it were to get infected.

I agree with everybody else. I don't think it is a huge deal. My mother would and so would my MIL. Fortunately (for right now anyway), I don't have a daughter so this decision isn't in my immediate future...LOL. I too think it is awesome that you are considering it. I had my tongue pierced when I was 30 (yes, 30). The only reason I don't still have it is because I had to take it when having a C-section for the birth of my second child and the hole healed up before I could put it back in. I got my tongue pierced because I thought it was neat. I'm not into piercings, don't have any tattoos, and generally just an average everyday Mom of two boys. My mother was mortified, but I didn't do it for my mother. I say all this to say that you only go around once and as long as she is responsible enough to take care of it, I say go for it!!

I have a 13 yr old daughter who also wants to get this done.She will be 14 in June,she is in Jr high right now.Her father and i told her no.in no way will she get this done.We have asked her why she wants this done,she says just cause..Well i know for a fact alot of her friends have this done and i think thats the reason behind this.I told her if she still wanted this done when she is 16,i have no problem with this.But i think at 13,14 they are just too young for this,even at 15.Thats just me,but if its ok with you and her father,then why not.She is your daughter i would'nt worry what your mom says.Good Luck.