My 12 year old son, who is slightly overweight, sneaks food all the time. We have seen a nutritionist, and implemented her recommendations of always having fresh fruit and vegetables around. He can eat those whenever he is hungry.
I think he is bored when he goes for food. He will sit down for homework, and 5 minutes later I can hear him go through the cabinets, even though he had a good sized snack before getting started.
We have limited, if not eliminated, junk food in the house. We do eat healthy food overall, I cook every night, so he knows he'll get a good meal in the evening. He'll consider a P&J sandwich a snack, which I'll allow him to have mid afternoon, but not close to dinner. He'll always go for starches and sugars, but we have to have bread in the house (mind you it is whole wheat)!
I find myself policing the kitchen, and listening for the refrigerator door opening all the time. This is not what I want, but he doesn't seem to make healthy choices if he has the freedom to do so. Just now I found out that he raided a couple of chocolate bars that I had hidden in my bedroom. I am at my wits end.
Any advice?
The thing is whn you take away something from a kid they just want it more. I remember when my parents were very strict on me as a kid. As soon as I was an adult I went hog wild and did every thing I was not allowed. I revolted BIG time. Kids do the same thing. If you want him to not eat those foods then keep them out of the house for you too.
You're doing great, I think, at being on top of this and giving it your full attention!
But a bigger issue than the food: The fact he went into your bedroom uninvited and took something that belonged to you, not him. The fact it was food is irrelevant; talk to him about the violation of trust and discipline him for the stealing -- not for the eating, which isn't a case for discipline, I think. How did he know the candy was there? Did he root around through your things until he found it? That's troubling.
Absolutely, protein will make him feel fuller and is a great idea. The tough part with nuts and seeds and peanut butter, though, is that they have very high calorie loads even in quite small amounts. So while it is excellent for him to have the protein and healthy fats in nuts, for instance, he may want to chow down on a whole bag of them when a small handful would be enough in calorie terms. You may find yourself having to put nuts and seeds portioned out in baggies and only one bag a day available to him somehow. With peanut butter, dipping carrots etc. is fine but again, he will end up wolfing the whole jar (or lots more than he should, since PB is filling, somewhat sweet and tasty). I'm not big on PB&J as a snack -- does he make it himself, and do you know how much he's slathering on? Is it a half-sandwich or a whole one? Tuna is a good source of protein, or canned or packaged salmon servings. Go with the smallest one-serving cans and don't let him make tuna salad with mayonnaise, or have him use light mayo if he will only eat the fish that way. Beans are also a protein source and very filling. Would he munch on edamame or roasted chickpeas? Again--calorie load, so portion control is required and that sounds tough if he raids things..
You're already keeping the bad stuff out of the house -- Pat yourself on the back! Did you see the nutritionist alone or was he there? Can you find kids' nutrition classes or healthy cooking classes for kids to make the issue fun and not a burden? Hearing things from a third party can have much more impact sometimes than hearing it (for the 100th time) from old mom and dad.
Also a no snacking during homework rule could be good, with consequences for violations -- again, the violation is the getting up and opening cabinets, not the eating itself. In fact I'd make "no eating or keeping food in any bedrooms" a rule for the whole family and let him know you follow it too.
I wouldn't let him snack alone. You don't want him feeling you're hovering, either. Maybe find a way to read at the dining table while he's there, or walk around doing chores in the kitchen while he's eating in there?
School lunch is another issue. If you pack his yourself, you're fine, but if he's eating school lunch, wow, I"m still amazed how unhealthily kids eat when they pick the official lunch. Veg and fruit are available and kids do select them for their trays but then they gobble down the starchy entree and sides (and extra pretzels, and desserts) and leave the fruit and veg behind. I've seen that when I visit my daughter's school. So if you're not packing his lunch, do, but keep it interesting enough he eats it all and doesn't mooch starches off his friends or buy that extra pretzel.
Finally -- does he need more activities? I'm referring not just to activities to burn off calories but things to keep his mind from getting bored, things he would turn to at home that would be interesting enough to keep him from wandering into the kitchen.
Good luck with this. It's tough. I have to watch my daughter's eating too, because she does like to keep eating right after she's done with a meal, or she wants starches which want to keep controlled. Update us!
My 5 year old is a 'bored eater'... [groan]... I feel your pain there!
My best friends 12 year old is overweight. She sneaks food. They don't keep junk in the house, but she'll get it at friends houses or school. It's awful. Recently, she had a belly ache for a few days, so my BFF took her to the doctor. You know what the doctor said? 'Point blank, you're too fat'... My BFF was shocked (yeah, not great bedside manner), but you know what? It wasn't a surprise to her daughter!! BUT, since it was put so bluntly, her daughter called me and asked to take her shopping for a bathroom scale and a notebook to keep a log of what she eats (she wasn't going around her moms back, we're just close like that)... anyway, because the doc was so direct with her, SHE made the decision to want to change... she just needed to hear it from someone other than mom and dad first.
Hope it gets better!!
i second the advice to up his protein. let him have those PBJs! greek yogurt with fruit or nuts or peanut butter and a *little* chocolate syrup swirled around in it, turkey wrapped around string cheese, cottage cheese with honey and sunflower seeds.
it's very difficult not to food police. but try to breathe, to make sure that all or almost all of his choices must be good ones, and stash those chocolate bars better!
:) khairete
S. (who always has a stash of organic chocolate, all for me onesie)
I am surprised that not one person here mentioned puberty and the hunger that boys have!
Yes, you son is hungry, boys are hungry all the time... trust me, I have two of them!
At 12, both my boys put on some pudge and ate and ate and ate and then guess what?? THEY GREW! Now 17 and 19 they are thin, muscular, active and STILL EAT! My 17 yr old said "Mom I am hungry all the time!!" He comes home from school and the first thing he does is eat a peanut butter sandwich and downs the carton of milk... then another snack.... then dinner. No matter how much protein I offer he eats me out of house and home!!
If you say you are not limiting his eating by putting out fruit etc.... its the carbs they need! He will sprout and his body will thin out as you've said he is slightly overweight.
Wish we could put photos on these msgs so I could show you the short slightly overweight boys I had at 12 and the tall thin strapping young men they have become.
Yes. Make sure that when he eats, that he eats some protein with whatever it is. Apples? Dip/slather them in Peanut Butter. Celery, put peanut butter on it.
Not just fruits/veggies on hand... but nuts (almonds, walnuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds) and cheeses. Yes, these things have fat in them.. but it is the kind of fat that is "good" and more importantly satiating! Try it for yourself... eat an apple... you can still be plenty hungry when you are done, right? Now eat HALF an apple and a 1/4 cup of almonds or sunflower seeds... It is a lot more filling.. and the protein will KEEP him feeling fuller.
Same thing with the cheese. Or let him have yogurt! Stoneyfield farms has a greek yogurt (WAY healthier than any of the 'kiddie' yogurts or even the "regular" yogurt) that is chocolate! Offer him that. It is packed with protein.
Protein satisfies hunger and helps to regulate blood sugar levels which also influences hunger.
The body often perceives thirst as hunger so stay hydrated. If you feel hungry, drink a glass of water - wait 10 minutes- then see if you are still hungry.
Lastly, have you taken him to the doctor to have a full metabolic panel done? He could have a thyroid or parathyroid imbalance, his adrenal or pancreatic glands may have a problem, or he could even be in the stages of pre-diabetes or who knows what... it may just be a will-power issue, but I would rule out something medical before I went all food-Nazi on him.
I think you have received some great suggestions so far. I just want to say that, while it is very possible that is could be boredom, or puberty, it could be the early signs of an unhealthy relationship with food. It sounds like he has some unhealthy habits (using food for comfort, bordome, stress, etc.). The fact that he is sneaking the food, and "stealing" it from your private room, and that he goes for starches & sugars (typical "binge" foods) raised some red flags for me. I have a teenage step-son, and I grew up with a brother, so I know very well how boys can eat and eat during those growing years! It just seems that if he was just simply hungry he wouldn't be trying to hide it. I don't mean to alarm you, and I don't want to overreact to it either, but boys do develop eating disorders and it may be a good idea to get some more information about what to watch for and how to help make changes now to avoid future issues. A very informative website is www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. Might be a good idea to maybe continue meeting with the nurtitionist on a regular basis and see if there is more going on than just "hunger" and go from there. Again, I may be totally off base here, I hope I am. G
Good luck.
I second the protein suggestion. Fruit/veggies are healthy but not sustaining.
You might want to check out the book "Mad Hungry: Feeding Men and Boys" by Lucinda Scala Quinn. It is mainly a recipe book but also talks about boys' unique food needs.
Is he getting all the exercise and physical activity he can? This would help keep the boredom away, and help regulate appetite, and help with weight maintenance.
