My 1 Year Old Doesn't Sleep Through the Night.

Updated on October 11, 2006
F.D. asks from Spokane, WA
8 answers

My 1 year old son (9/14/05) has had a problem sleeping through the night because when he would wake up in the middle of the night crying I would give him a bottle to put him back to sleep (water bottles only). It got out of hand at around 9 months when he would cry hysterically until I plugged the bottle into his month. If I didn�t give in the crying would last anywhere from 1-3 hours each time he woke up! If it were just me in the house I would put up with the crying and sleepless nights until he got over the problem, however, I feel sorry for my poor husband who has to get up for work early in the morning.

Finally the other night I said enough was enough and decided to get rid of the bottles all together. He was already down to 2 bottles a day morning and night (not including late night feedings) and used a sippy cup during the day time hours since he was 10 months old.

On top of weaning him from a bottle we have moved him to his own room. He has been sleeping in our bed since birth. So far it hasn�t been too bad. The first night was a little rough. I laid with him in his bed until he fell asleep then slept the rest of the night on his floor. He woke up twice, once for about 1 � hours, the second 2 � hours. The second night (last night) I again laid with him until he fell asleep then moved to my own bed. He woke up just once but it took me nearly 3 hours to get him back to sleep. After he was asleep I moved to my own bed. He woke up this morning at about 7:30 am and instead of me going to his room I let him come to mine. I put him in our bed where he slept until 9:30 am.

I would like any of your thoughts on 1) weaning at an early age, 2) putting an end to late night feedings, 3) moving children to there own room after age 1. Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for you help.

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M.A.

answers from Portland on

I would reccoment a book called "secrets of the baby whisperer". She has an awesome sleep/transition technique, and it works well at any age.

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E.O.

answers from Anchorage on

When I decided to move my daughter from our bed to the crib, I had a hell of a time! At my wits end, Emma's pediatrician recommended I purchase the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber (2006 edition). I followed his guidelines and my 7 month old daughter was sleeping on her own, in her crib, in about 1 week. However, we have had some bad nights since then, but, as a whole, I have been really happy with our progress. At that time, I also weaned her from nightly suckling. Now, when she wakes up during the night, she will fuss for a moment, then put herself back to sleep.

Another thing we use is the Fisher Price Aquarium (it attaches to the side of the crib, sitting inside the crib). During the night, Emma can hit the button, and the aquarium will light up, play music, and the little plastic fish will swim for her. This is often soothing enough to calm her without mom and dad.

Hope that helps, good luck!

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I.R.

answers from Portland on

Have you tried using music? When my boys were young I had the same problem. I went and got a soothing mix CD and played the music as I put my son to bed, and when he woke up in the middle of the night. After a few days of playing the music he learned that when he heard the music he would have to go to sleep. When he would wake up in the middle of the night, I would just go and turn on the music for him and he would fall back asleep while listening.

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H.G.

answers from Honolulu on

hello
i am going thru many of the same things you are right now. my son is 11 months old and has been in his crib at night for about 2 weeks now. up until then he was in our bed. he is breastfed tho so no bottle issues here. he still does wake during the night to eat, some nights only once, other nights a few times. he is also teething.

the thing you need to keep in mind is that all three of the changes you are making are forms of weaning. weaning from the bottle, from your bed, and from night feedings. and weaning is a slooow process. you will just have to give it time, especially since you are doing all this at once. for me i decided to wean him from my bed first. some nights are great and others we are exhausted in the morning. but you just have to pick a method and stick with it. i don't let my son cry it out, so that means i am committed to waking up with him and comforting him back to sleep. for now, that means nursing, but in time i will also wean him from the night feedings. but i decided to do one thing at a time.

when i do wean him from the night nursing i plan to spend several nights picking him up and walking him back to sleep. and after he is used to that, i will just rub his back but not pick him up. hopefully he will eventually stop waking up or stop fussing when he learns that he doesn't get fed in the middle of the night. but we'll see how it goes...

does your son have some kind of object that he really clings to (stuffed animal or blanket)? some of the books say that if he has something like that it can help comfort him back to sleep. and of course make sure he's not too hot or too cold in his room. my son was waking up a lot and he won't keep a blanket on. so i started putting him in 2 layers of clothes and that seemed to help.

hang in there! hope you start getting more sleep soon!

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

A few things. It seems like a whole lot of change for such a little one to adapt to at once.

I really recommend the no cry sleep solution for both the night wakings (it talks about slow, subtle ways of getting them to self soothe instead of nurse or bottle to sleep) and the weaning issue.

If it makes you feel any better.... my daughter didn't sleep for more than an hour at a time until 15 months. So in comparison, your schedule sounds heavenly LOL

I think the book would really help you, and will be a less traumatic approach than what you've described. It was a godsend for us.

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J.

answers from Boise on

Hi F.! I know how hard it is to not get enough sleep.
As for your specific questions, I've heard that a rule of thumb is to make only one major change at a time if at all possible. I have found this to be true for my daughter. Kids struggle with change. And that whatever it is you have chosen for you and your family you need to be consistent so that the child knows what to expect.

Have you considered making the change from your bed to his own bed a little slower. For example, what about from your bed to a mattress on the floor of your room? It is a step toward his own bed but it is still familiar in sound and smell to him. Our daughter sleeps with us and has since birth (she's 18 months) we've had to make small adjustments as she grew and changed. At about 12 months, we went from a double to a queen sized bed. At 14 months, we added a mattress in our room which she sleeps on and we have our own. So far, with incremental changes, we have had little issue of crying fits and horribly sleepless nights. I personally, have found and believe that if and when she gets to a point of crying fits that I have pushed her too fast and I work on a compromise that works better for all of us. This happened to me when I decided that I should wean her completely within a month. She started screaming a lot at night for a couple of nights. It was too much stress on all of us. I had to change when I fed her milk and for how long and when I restricted her, when I fed her solids at night and but we were able to come up with a workable solution for all. In the end, she was closer to being fully weaned but she was no longer stressed so she no longer reacted with screaming and in fact started sleeping through the night again. I really believe that children need incremental changes rather than all and then nothing changes. I personally have a harder time with sudden and large change than gradual ones as an adult so how could my daughter deal well with it at an age where she has few coping skills outside of crying when she is in need. Dr. William Sears may be a resource for you in this area. If you google "Dr. William Sears" you will hit his web site. He is an experienced pediatrician (20+years) and father of 8 who advocates "the family bed" and gradual changes in parenting.

Good luck! J.

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N.S.

answers from Eugene on

I have three children and my best advice to you is to have patience. Even though your child has been using a sippy cup doesn't necsisarily mean he's ready to give up his bottle all together. My oldest who is now eight gave the bottle up completely before he was one. He was not interested in them once he learned how to use a cup. My fiercly independant middle child who is now three had a night time bottle until he was two and a half. He stopped wanting it when our third child was born and he started associating bottles with babies and didn't want to think of himself as a baby anymore. With respect to your child sleeping in his own room, this won't happen over night and you shouldn't expect it to. Have patience. It sounds like he's been sleeping with you and your husband since he was born so sleeping without you is a HUGE change. Add that to trying to wean him and WOW, to him,his whole world has been turned upside down. You may think about having him start out in his own room and then taking him to bed with you if he wakes up or having him fall asleep with you and then put him in his own bed when he is sound asleep. In my experience as a mom I've discovered that my child's comfort, security and happiness is the most important thing. Don't sweat the small stuff. The more you stress about your child wanting a bottle or sleeping in his own room the longer it will take him to do those things. Best of luck to you!

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D.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi F.*�*
I have learned the hard way of weaning my kids from the bottle. my 2nd oldest son was not weaned early, at 1 yr like it shuld have been, told to me by my pediatrician, due to this, he has had bad teeth from the bottle, he had to have all his teeth silver capped due to the milk and juice just laying around in his mouth, so also did the water thing, and well that seem to make him wet his diaper even more, and sometimes even so much to it leaked out from his diaper and onto the sheets, so had much more laundry to do everyday and changing of the sheets daily. he had all his teeth pulled due to his teeth not coming in straight and some not coming out at all, they had to pull them out and now he has braces. so I wenaed my other 2 kids at the age of 1 yr, they will cry and fuss for a while, but slowly figure it out,I then was told my my pediatrician and midwife they should now start to chew on brushes(tooth) so learn that when they or you start helping brush their teeth it won't be a big hassle, so wening at a year of 1 yrs old, is a good thing, and it worked for me, I also moved them to their own room, and left a t.v on or CD player with soft baby music for them to fall asleep to. and it worked out great for me, as I was always in and out of my bed, and felt bad trying not to wake up my husband, because he works all day long and leaves the house at 7 or 7:30am and works till 9 or 9:30pm but as well as me getting into a habit of waking up and checking on my kids every few hours seem to put their minds at ease to know I was always in and out of their rooms checking on them through out the night, and still do to this day, and still in and out of my bed nightly. my youngest is 8yrs old, it just seems to be a habit that I have picked up and can't seem to get rid of, there's always that thought in my mind to make sure they are safe and sound in their beds and still breathing, it never goes away, hearing to many things of kids disappearing in the middle of the night and no one knowing how or when, just terrifies me, so I'm still up and down checking on them. even now we keep a dog in our house and one outside the house, as we live over our home business of our kennel, we have many dogs that bark all night long, so that also doesn't help me sleep through the night, but I think your doing a good thing for your child.
Dee

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