Moms with Only One Child ( and Not Having Anymore) Plse Respond

Hi, I felt the same way after having my first child at 34. I still say that "one is enough" with a smile on my face. But, my husband didn't want an only child. So, when I found myself pregnant again, I just thought, "What the hell? I guess this is the way its supposed to be." I was so worried about having two children to care for and get ready in the morning (I work full-time). But, I have to say, that I love having two children. It would be a lot easier raising one child. It's like choosing to have only one friend when you could have two. A best friend is great, but having a second best friend is even better.

I'm a mother of a great 16 year old girl. My hubby and I decided when Alex was 4 that we'd stop w/her. For differant reasons...like financial, we were really happy w/our threesome, and still are. She's heading off to college in a year or so and since we only have the one child we will be able to pay for everything and that way she's not bogged down w/school loans when she starts out. But it's not just that we have a fonominal relationship w/her. She enjoys spending time w/us, not to many 16 yr old want that. The closeness that she and I share is so special to me, and I'm sure if there had been another child we would still be close but not to the degree that we are now. The only thing I suggest is really get her around other people as much as possible adults an d kids. Alex has also been involved in different activities thru her life like pee-wee soccer, dance classes, music groups, etc...and that got her around other kids and made her very well rounded. She really has never asked for a sibbling and I think thats the reason. She's a great kid very popular w/a very varied array of friends, and really found her nich in music and in her high school marching band she's found her "sibblings", Believe it or not but we also have found many people just like us with only on child and they tell the same story. So please hang in there and fell free to keep in touch with us for any question or support you need!

I have a daughter who is 4. My hubby and I had a stillborn daughter about 10 years ago. We am completely ok with having only 1 daughter. But that is a decision that you have to make yourself. My pregnancy was watched very closely with her and was very difficult emotionally for me.

We look at it as we are going for quality, not quanitity. lol But again, you have to make this decision for yourslef.

Hi,

I may not have much advice, but I can totally relate to your dilemma. I also waited to have my first child--I was 37. My daughter is now 2. I work full time so all the time I get to spend with her is precious to me. I love just having her in my life, but I often wonder if she'll be lonely growing up around adults. She does have a half sister who is 12, but she's only with us every other weekend. I know my husband really wants another child---he wants a boy so bad! But I don't know if another child is going to be right for me. I have my hands full with Nicole and working full time and keeping the house etc. I ask myself how I can fit another person into my hectic schedule. But I can't be selfish when making this decision. My husband does have a say in matters.

All I can say for sure is I love what my daughter and I have together---how close we are. Every night we hang out in our room and play together on the bed. We read or do puzzles, or she walks around the room in mommy's shoes. Then daddy comes upstairs and we all lay under the covers til night-night-time. Then we go to her room and I read a story and then it's lights out. By that time, I'm ready for bed as well.

It's a choice only you and yours can make. Just don't have any regrets either way.

T.,

I am a mom to an only and not having anymore - by choice.
I was in my mid 30's when I had my son and he is almost 4.
My husband and I have been married 7 years. I had a pregnancy that was miserable. If I had another pregnancy like that I would not be able to take care of my son and we have very little in the way of family help. In fact, shortly after my son was born, my mother had serious health issues and I end up helping her out quite a bit.
My son and I both were very, very lucky to survive the nightmare of his birth - the delivery was just one thing going wrong after another. In fact we survived and are have no health problems, thank God!
I CHOSE to have my tubes tied when my son was born and have not regretted it. Every once in awhile I see a little girl and have the urge to buy frilly pink baby clothes. It passes.
Seriously, I would not want the stress, mess, or expense of another child at this stage. I love that when I am with him I can concetrate on HIM. I waited a long time to have a child. Everyone else I know was younger than 23. I've been a SAHM and just recently went back to school(part time) to have an education that enables me to have a PART-TIME, flexible career. (I did the 80 hour week full time career thing...not for me anymore!) My son started preschool, 2 am's per week, as well so we are slowly easing him into the world. I love now that he is potty trained and we have a little break where we each go do our schooling: life is more balanced. We made BIG time lifestyle sacrifices to afford me being home. And by watching EVERY penny and not needing daycare we have done it and could afford my tuition! I love my life like it is. I'm almost 40 and ready for the child stage and for me to be out in the world some again, not another baby.
Yes it is just me, my husband, and son. We have time and money for THIS child...and his college AND our retirement. Three has always been my favorite number!

I know you only wanted responses from moms with only 1 child but I would say have another soon if that is what you want. The longer you wait the harder it is on the other child. I waited almost 6 years and that has hurt my daughter. She doesn't understand. She had me all to herself for so long now she just fights for me and my atteneion. She is almost 8 now and still we have some behavior issues that were never a problem before I had my son. But i am truley happy to have my children. They are my world.

T.: Hey there! Well, I am 26 years old and I have a beautiful 9 1/2 month old daughter. I was thinking about wanting another child when my daughter gets to be about two years old because my boyfriend (my daughter's father) was an only child and I see how he turned out. Even now, as an adult, he still "pouts" and "throws tantrums" when he doesn't get his way. I don't want my daughter to be like that. I want her to have another sibling to be able to play with growing up. I see how my sister and I are (we are 2 1/2 years apart) and I want that for my daughter. Now, on the flip side of that, the expense of having a second child I can't even imagine. Right now we are doing fine but struggling at times with money (we are STILL working on straightening out a family budget). I hope this sort of helps you out in your decision. We will probably wind up having another one but that's not going to be for another year or so. :-) GOod Luck in your decision!

I think it is your choice! For me, I have one child and really want at least 3 more. I think it is a personal thing between you and your fiance. I think it is nice for kids to have brothers or sisters to grow up with. I had 2 sisters and wouldn't trade the fun and bad for anything, all a learning experience (not that I had a choice on having sisters). But I also know only children who are very fun and just as happy about their past as me. So it really is up to you! Hope that helps a little! As a help to go towards no more kids, you are a little older and it may make it more difficult to have more kids. Of course, I do know women who had kids at 45 so it is really a person to person thing.

T. :)

I have been married for five years and have a wonderful one year old boy. I was always on the fence as to whether or not to have another child. I am a stay at home mom and love devoting all my attention to him. I can't imagine sharing my time or my love with another although I'm sure my heart would melt if the opportunity arose.

I grew up an only child and had no problems other than a very vivid imagination. I love life with my husband and son but don't think I want to add to it. I have a very low tolerance for stress and like things orderly and calm. Whenever I have doubts, I just look at my sister-in-law who has three kids; ages 7, 6 and 3 months, and am thankful for having my one. She never has time for herself, her house is a disaster zone and they are running around everywhere every minute of the day. It also doesn't help that her newborn is colic. She is the type of person who thrives off of chaos. I can't survive in that environment.

Aside from my personal feelings for having another, I was also diagnosed with Kidney Disease and having more children would not be in my best interest healthwise. My Doctor said that pregnancy could progress the desease and I would rather be healthy for my one than not being able to care for two. Even though my health prognosis helped me in my decision, I still think I would have chose to stick with one.

Many families are extremely balanced and happy with multiple children. I think you should decide what is best for you and your husband. Whatever you decide I wish much happiness in the future with your little girl.

Hi T. my name is K. I am a mother of a two year old little girl. She is my only child. I made the dicision a long time ago not to have anymore. I just think having two children would be hard to handle. Also I am like you I love spending all my time with my sweet little girl and I cant even began to imagine sharing my love I have for her with another child. She makes my life complete and I am very happy with just her.