Looking for Thoughts on moving.....again.

Hi J.,

two things i wanted to mention:
1- my husband had to work x-mas eve and day this year, and i was initially upset b/c that would upset our customary plans with my family. my mom was very wise and said: you have your own family now, so do you what you need to do to make it work for them, and we'll work around whatever you do. it was such great advice. this is your family now, and they come first.

2-my husband's from chile, so i agonize often over us not being near his family, and then i agonize over the idea of moving there and then not being near my family. there is no perfect solution. just try to find a healthy balance and do what's best for you, your husband, and your children. everything will just have to fall into place from there!

I live in Huntley. The school district is great and there are a lot of things to do with kids. The housing is affordable but we are about an hour and 15 min. from the city. My husband works downtown and his commute can be long, but our life in Huntley is wonderful. If you really want to stay in Illinois, then look westward otherwise I'd say go back to MI where you could be close to your husband's family. Just do what is best for YOU and your family and the rest of the family will just have to understand. :o) Best of luck!

I believe nothing is more important than family. You can find another suburb or town and find a lower cost of living.

The presence of family is so important when growing up. The security of being surrounded by people who love you cannot be replaced by a nicer house and "beaches".

A time will come when you will need your family to support you, and you'll be glad you stayed.

Hi J.- my advice would be to go for it and move to MI if both you and your husband are on the same page about it and if you're able to find work. I'm sure that your family will support your decision and not feel hurt-it's not that far away. Many small towns and beaches are beautiful in MI and I'm sure that you will have many visitors from Chicago! If you're happy about the move, your kids will pick up on that. Plus not having to stress about getting your kids into a great school district sounds ideal. I agree with another poster, it must be a great time to buy property in MI due to the economy.

My family has a cottage in northern MI and I wish that I could visit every weekend!

Good luck!

I just wanted to say I know where you are. We moved from IL where both our famillies (except his parents) live to IA where his parents live. Then we moved back to IL. Now we are moving back to IA, which is close to his parents but much furthur from mine. Eventually we had to figure out what was best for our family, which was our move to IA. My parents were not happy, but we have to do what is best for our family and our kids. I know what its like to worry about everyone else and what they're feeling, but you can't make everyone happy all the time. If it were me I would weigh the pros and cons and decide whats best for you.
Good Luck in your decisison.

I would move. The sooner the better, before your oldest gets too involved with school & friends. MI is not that far from Chicago.

just my thought -- the grass is always greener... make the best of what you have and know exactly what you're getting into before taking a big leap.

I think you should follow your heart. Both my sisters moved out of town when they were young. It was h*** o* all of us but we got through it. Now my niece is traveling the world and living in Korea. We only see her once a year and that breaks our hearts but she is happy , enjoying life and seeing the world and for that we are happy for her.
By the way where is that beautiful relaxing place in Michigan? We live in Chicago and have always talked about going somewhere smaller , more relaxig and layed back when we retire and Michigan is not that far. I would really like to check it out.
Thanks and good luck

You need to do what works best for your family , and if moving means you will have a better quality of life and your kids will go to better schools then that is what you need to do. I know it is hard to move so far away , especially when it means taking kids away from grand parents (I did it , living in VA and am from England), but deep down your parents will understand your reasons if you sit them down and explain it to them properly.

Good luck

Hi J. Go with your gut!!! If moving back gives you piece of mind than do it. You can't live your life thinking about someone elses feelings. They will understand. Just sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your family. good luck.

If you are a stay at home mom you could consider home schooling your children so if you decide to move you will not have the dilemma of having to move your child from one school to another. Here is one of the site that can give you information on home schooling your children. http://www.iche.org/
Illinois is a home school friendly state and there are thousands of families that home school their children for many different reasons. Our experiences were great. Our son went to a Christian School through 6th grade and then we decided to bring him home. We home schooled for 2 years and then he asked to go to public school for high school so he could do sports and choir, etc. Those 2 years brought are whole family very close. He is now 19 years old and we are as close as a family could be. I attribute part of that to the two years we home schooled.
Just a Thought.
S.

Hey J.,
Do it while you still can! Especially, if you and your husband agree to it. You have nothing to lose and more to gain.

All the Best!

I would make the decision while your kids are still young. Kids around 5-6 can easily make friends anywhere, I believe. Once they get a little older it will be harder for them to get adjusted. We moved a lot while growing up, though all w/in a small radius. The move in jr. high was hard, I will never do that to my kids. Try to make the best decision for your family & stay committed so you don't have to move the kids again when they're older. Good luck.

I am trying to understand what you are feeling. I see where you live and I am wondering if you are trying to move to Michigan or Arizona? If you are going to miss (just your dad?) or your family have you talked to them/him about it? Where is this simple life as I get three places? Michigan, Arizona, or Illinois. I think as far as school districts go you can find any school anywhere and when your children grow up they will find out what they want. I do not necessarily believe in this amazing school district stuff as I have worked in several and have had my children grow up and really, truly I do not think any college has ever asked oh by the way where is your school district? well, get the drift? Be happy. If your dad is older you might miss him and perhaps you will work out a compromise about spending a life where you can still see him. Good luck.! I know I didn't answer this. I am trying to find out what the question is. You only get one family. Does that help?

do what you need to do for your family. michigan was hit hard with the whole economy thing. very hard. so many houses in beach towns for sale, so many job losses! maybe it would be a good time to purchase a home as there are many foreclosures happening there. good luck!

The school issue is huge. My son is now in 4th grade. When I was single I loved living in Chicago, but after my son was born, the paperwork, uncertainty and difficulties with the CPS just didn't make it seem like the best choice for us and I did want my son to go to public school ( not like we could afford private anyway, lol).

My son spend kindergarten and 1st in the Oak Park schools, at a small neighborhood school that I loved- but when it was time to buy a house we just couldn't find anything we liked in our price range- and taxes there were outrageous.

We ended up with a nice little house in a small suburb- with a GREAT school. Although adjusting to the burbs was something of a change, having a garden, a neighborhood where everyone watches out for everyone's kids and a school with only 300 students and 17 kids in the class has made it totally worth it for us.

Right now your kids are little enough to make the transition easily. Elementary school starts to get 'harder' with homework, etc. in 3rd grade as a rule. We moved right before my son went into 2nd grade because we wanted him to have an 'adjustment' year to make friends and learn his way around before school got more serious. It worked out perfectly and now he is happy, well-adjusted and loves his school and our neighborhood.

Your family will miss seeing the kids, of course. But you work it out. My family is ALL in Ohio- but we go there for some holidays and my brother's family comes out to see us for a little vacation. My mom and dad also come out to Chicago and now that my son is old enough, he flies to Ohio as an 'unaccompanied minor' in the summer and spends 2 weeks with his grandparents, aunt and uncle and cousins, going fishing, playing chess with grandpa and just spending time with my side of the family.

Do what you really feel is best and remember that a good school system, one that has good teachers and opportunities from elementary to high school will be very very valuable for your kids as they are growing up. For us, it was the biggest factor in where we moved and it worked out great. Good Luck!

I know you don't want to "hurt" anyone in your family, but if they are not able to help, you have to seek your goals.
Make a decision and put your energy towards that goal. Anyone that really cares about you will be happy for your success. I'm sure they would love to see you happy and successful. Quit waiting to see what is going to happen, make it happen.
Call the housing department in your area, there are offers for buying a house that you may not be aware of. With an FHA loan. That goes for Michigan, too. Find a realtor here or in Michigan that knows about this federally funded offer.
Does the current owner have an offer already? The selling market is very bad now and the owner may not be able to afford the mortgage and taxes.
Once you have settled look for extra income opportunities and increase your income. There are many organizations in place for others that have been in your situation, you need to go out of your "close to home" realm to discover them.
Relocating and the added work to survive is always stressful for everyone. keep doing familiar daily habits to provide continuity for everyone.