Baby Gavin is still in the NICU. : ( They think maybe a blockage in his liver or gallbladder. They did an untrasound today but we wont know results till tomorrow. His direct biliruben is at a 3.3 . His total biliruben is under control now and he is not under lights.
Has anyone ever heard of this???
His dad got back this morning, so i took him to see him and he refused to call him by his name, because i changed the name from Xavier to Gavin. I love the name Gavin and not so much Xavier. His dad picked it out and i didnt think he deserved to name him bc of what he did.
Its really frustrating.
And now its 6pm and he was supose to bring the girls to me at 5 so he could see Gavin for a couple hours and feed him. i pumped for him. I just called hospital and they said they had to feed him. I'm really upset, he keeps being a jerk.
I try so hard to mke nice and its like he throws in my face. So frstrating.
I like the name Gavin.
I don't know anything about jaundice in babies -
I just wanted to congratulate you on the baby and send you a hug.
Next time, just go feed Gavin yourself - have Daddy drop the girls to you at the hospital to make it easier on you. Wish I was there to help.
God Bless
You're going thru a really painful time right now. For your own sake as well as the sake of the girls you must find a way to stop expecting your ex to do the things you want him to do. I urge you to get started with counseling. You deserve to have less stress in your life and the way you're reacting to your ex is creating even more stress than is necessary.
You cannot change him! You can only change the way you react to him. And you do that in part by the way you think and talk to yourself. When you're expecting him to show up on time, remind yourself that he never does and tell yourself to stop expecting him. Talk with yourself over and over about how he will not do as you expect.
The next step is to let go of the anger this creates. Ask yourself if you'd rather be right( by insisting he co-operate) or would you rather be happy (by expecting nothing.) It will take time for you to work this out. I urge you to get started now in changing the way you think and talk about your ex and his behavior.
I think you did the right thing by naming the baby your choice. I might perhaps have given him his father's choice as a second name but I understand if you didn't. He is not participating in the pregnancy and birth of this baby.
Plan on your ex always disappointing you and find a way to say, "oh, well, I know he's a jerk." and then let it go.
And please get some counseling to help support you during this really painful time. You deserve to have support. You can find support. You deserve to have a supportive husband but you don't have one and you can't make him into one.
If I remember correctly, you said you have very few friends and family to support you. The hospital will have a new mom and baby support group. I suggest that you join that so that you can perhaps make a friend or two with whom you can share baby stories.
Our newborn came home and then the jaundice set in. She was placed in the NICU for 3 days! It was heartbreaking having to leave her in the hospital and come home with an empty car seat.
Your child is under the best care in NICU, you keep pumping or Breast feeding if he can.. He will need as much of your milk as you can produce.
Yes, they also had to give our child formula, she just needed it for survival.
Rest, eat healthy and try not to let the dad upset you. (I know it is soo hard).. Your infant needs a healthy happy mom.
Just concentrate on being the best mom to your newborn, talk with him, rub his back and hands and cheeks, so he can tell you are there.
Tons of infants get jaundice as infants go on to be extremely healthy and if it makes you feel any better, our daughter did not suffer any brain damage at all. She is extremely bright and talented..
If you need or want someone to be with you, call your family or friends to go and stay with you. Schedule someon to take you to the hospital as often as you feel you can. I know the hours are terrible, but it will help you feel better.
I see so many posts from you, you really need a counselor. You still sound bitter, angry, depressed, not accepting the reality of your husband...this site is not helping you. He always drops the kids off late. This is not much different than any other time right? Try to enjoy this time with your new baby away from the big kids.
And I have to be the one to side with your soon to be ex on the name. I think both names are fantastic, which is not the point. But you have changed the name...and didn't counsel him first....I would be upset as well. You never voiced your indifference to him....it would have been better to talk about this months ago.
Stop worrying about your husband, and deal with your child in the NICU. You are talking about a child with a blocked liver or gallbladder, I don't know all about that but it sounds more serious than a dad not showing up to give a baby a bottle. Your child is more important than anything.
Best of luck to you....you will get through this!
Just try to remember that it is so much easier for us to point fingers at other people instead of trying to improve ourselves. I know this is a very stressful time for all of you but you can keep this family from experiencing undue stress by keeping a positive attitude. You just had a sweet baby who needs to feel love and support so he can continue his fight. I know an ex can be a poop but he was a poop when you were married so you can he is not going to change. That is pretty much a given. If he knows he can rattle your cage then he will do it as often as he can, Don't give him the satisfaction! Your hormones are playing lots of games with you right now but you need to make yourself strong because this will flow over to your children. Join some kind of support group or talk to a counselor. Sometimes just talking and getting things out helps so much. My little guy had jaundice so bad after we got home and I had to put him under the lights in the bed for about a week and he is doing great right now and smiles every day.
Gavin is a beautiful name. A boy named Gavin at my son's school just came in 6th in the nation on the national french exam. Don't know much about jaundice and bilirubens but it is very common. Doctors are very capable handling it as they see it so often. If there was something awful in the ultrasound you wouldn't have to wait till tomorrow, the tech would have alerted the dr. immediately.
Relax, drink alot of fluids and pump as much and as often as you can. That is your job now. He is in good hands and believe it or not so are your girls. You don't have any doubt that their dad doesn't love them even with all his other qualities so...take it easy and don't fret. I know it is easy to say but you will return to full force quicker if you get healthy and strong.
Congrats to you on the birth of Gavin!!
If I was your husband - I too would be pissed that you changed the name of the baby without consulting me...that's just rude.
Like MarW V said - you need to get into counseling...this post wasn't about your son, it was about your ex....
My first son had jaundice and was pre-mature. They put him under the lights for days (he was 6 weeks early)..his highest biliruben count was 12 and they doctors were frantically working to get it down...that was just WWWAAAYY to high and he was YELLOW....it was scary but it all worked out.
It really doesn't sound like you are trying to make nice - you changed the name of the baby without talking to him! That's not making nice in my book. You have sooo much going on - you need someone to help you. Please, please, please seek counseling so that you can get through this incredibly tough time and be the better person!!
