Do you have any suggestions of where to go to look for classes on Social Skills? I'm looking in to classes through the school district but my fear is that all they will teach my son is to "ignore" the mean kids. Well at some point you have to stand up for yourself. My 12 year old just doesn't understand the dynamics of making friends. (He is mildly Autistic) Maybe his being picked on is partly my fault, I've always taught my kids that they have to be nice and play nice, etc. I'm really frustrated and just need to vent I guess. My son is involved in Scouts so we have other social opportunities also, but he does have trouble there too.
Ideas??
Thank you, M.
Andy started middle school in 6th grade at 11. I thought he was going to be eaten alive. He is high functioning autistic as well. I figured he would tell me if he is having problems, so far he hasn't. He is now 12 and in the 7th. I don't think he will ever have normal friends until college where being nerdy and slightly off isn't held against you.
I think because your son is mildly autistic he does not pick up on many important verbal and non-verbal cues that kids emit all the time. That is where the problem lays. I do not think there is any class that can help a junior highschooler to fit in - it is a different world, with their own rules, behavioral codes, social pecking order. I would think that role playing would be the most helpful and also observing your son and giving him feedback.
Good luck.
I know doesn't it piss you off. You teach them to be nice and play fair and they do but the other kids don't. You have to find something he likes doing so he can get confidence enjoying it. Something outside of school. Maybe a karate class or a swimming class. A smaller class where you can keep a better eye. Sometimes that will help. I'd also contact your pediatrics and see if they can see who else might have a kid around your kids age with autism. Find out where they are sending kids for classes and therapy. If he can find a place in a group he will feel more secure.
I would also suggest working with the counselor at school, as well as any special ed staff to let them know your concerns. I am an inclusion aide at one of our local middle schools, and I do see this frequently. We do try to pair up the kids in classes to work together, and if possible, we don't put up with the teasing and bullying that often goes on.
If he has things he "likes" that are common to other students, that may help him fit in, also.
Start by talking to the school about Social Skills classes. I'm a teacher, and they offer some great programs for kids in my district. I have seen several of our mildly Autistic kids grow and even flourish in middle school due to Social Skills class. They work on role playing situations and giving students practice with choosing the right words in various situations. Hopefully your district has something similar. Good luck!
Aw, this breaks my heart, such a tough age. I would start with scouts, I don't know if they already have a standard 'curriculum' and program, but if they have some flexibility, maybe ask the leaders to work in some social skill sets, this way he could use them in action.
Otherwise I would read up on the tween years for boys and start there. Ask him questions to determine his issues and identify where he needs work. Role play with him while teaching him how to handle different situations. The best thing you can do for him is give him practice before he's in the real deal.
If he really needs a lot of help, maybe look into occupational therapy for him or work with someone who specializes in ASD. Good luck to you and your little guy.
A lot of the schools are teaching Peer Skills - my daughter's school is pretty big on it and so are a lot of the other schools around our area. You may want to contact the guidance dept of his school, as they may be able to help. It's ashame that we have to worry about teaching our children how to survive against the one's who really need the social skills. Best of luck to your son :)
