I think it is, by maternal nature, that women over-prepare when packing for their family trip or just an outing.
I think we have that "Just in case" attitude. In my experience, men are just the opposite. Even if you have room
for, let's just say, two extra towels when going to the beach, I've been told that is so silly to take things that are
"unnecessary". Really? Is it just me that is following my "just-in-case" preparedness quirk, or is this familiar to you?
It's also the age-old conflict of asking directions. I call that a "just-in-case" scenario, as well.
Or, when you are running late to an engagement, I like to give a heads up by calling ahead, out of courtesy.
He may think, they'll know when we will arrive, when we arrive.
I'd love to hear from any men out there. Not meaning to give guys a bad wrap. Just want to see if I am the one that
is crazy. Also, who usually wins in these conflicts. After all, men are the "head" of the family.
Edit: So when I say "win", do you get to call or do you just arrive late, not to disrupt his manhood?
So true! Women are more prepared than Men because we are planners and do have a just in case attitude built in. When men don't bring things, they assume they can just go out and buy it (the hunter/gatherer thing) and women conserve and bring things that we KNOW we may or may not need, but just in case.
I love this! I think J.K Rowling captured this gender divide perfectly with the 7th book when Hermione had her beaded purse/bag that had everything in it...including a tent. Sometimes I feel that my purse is that bag!
I don't think it is a guy v gal thing. I never over pack yet both my ex and my current husband over pack.
I never ask for directions unless it will effect efficiency. In other words if my figuring it out will take less time that asking then I won't ask. Troy won't ask at all but I think that has more to do with he hates bothering strangers.
Unless they would be specifically waiting for us I will not call if I am running late. Then again I am never late, I can't stand being late.
In our house no one wins, we compromise.
Your observations seem true between my husband and me. And between at least a few other couples I've known. My husb likes to travel light, will not call ahead for anything (although he's happy if I call ahead to have a take-out meal prepared), and of course, will not ask for directions. Keeps life interesting, doesn't it?
I think women, who do most of the domestic care, know that the unexpected does happen often enough that we expect it. And we're the ones usually expected to deal with the fallout, so we quite reasonably like to be prepared.
There's also a study that I think is related: males are far less likely to interpret some scenario as potentially dangerous than women do.
Oh my gosh.... my husband is like this with EVERYTHING!! Not "just in case" items. We'll be getting ready for going anywhere and he'll be sitting in the car and I'll ask: do you have the gift? NO! do you have this? NO! do you have that? No. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING??? NO!!! Then he gets mad at me because I'm so stressed because I end up having to get EVERYTHING!!! I've been married 18 years and it's always the same way! Lately tho I've just given up on expecting any help and I just get everything together. Setting my expectations a lot lower has helped tremendously!!! So to answer your question: I don't think anyone really wins.
No you are not crazy. He'll be glad when one day he needs something and you already have it available. I agree with the others on this too. In general, men don't think of the "what ifs" and aren't aware of all the details that go into preparing especially with babies and children. Although I have known some women that are way out there with this. I'd rather be prepared and think ahead. Was he a boy scout? Their motto, "be prepared."
I had to chuckle when I read this, my husband is the worst packer. He has the philosophy that you can buy whatever you forgot there. What? I hate that! You know darn well you will be in the hotel room without your favorite toothpaste and at 10 at night have to run out and get it! Argh.
Needless to say, I do not even entertain asking or discussing this with my husband as he would not EVER understand. I just quietly go about my business of packing for 6 people. I usually start a few days ahead so there are not freak outs.
As far as running late, my husband just does not do that, he is early if anything. If I am making him late, he will always call, he thinks it is insanely rude to blow that step off.
In short, he is the head of the household but I keep the peace. There is no need to discuss or even work through some things. I know he will not pack much, I just pack it and call it a day. I guess I do WIN. Ha ha!
My husband's job for 20 years in the military was logistitcs. So when I pack to go somewhere he will repack. If I try to load the van, he reloads it.
He double and triple checls everything and packs that second towel. He freaks when we are more than 10 minutes late and calls everyone he knows to let them know we are coming. He'll calls to confirm at least twice. He will check his Garmin on his phone even if we are going somewhere he has been before.
So because he takes so much energy to do all this I get my stuff packed and just get in the car.
And winning, haha. I always win, because there is a Walmart on every corner in America, so even of i did forget something I could just go buy it.
plus, in my family anyhow...I deal with the bdget, so I know if we have to go out and make that extra purchase, I have to figure out how to make the budget stretch AND if I need jeans or whatever because I didnt pack them, it will take me three days and $120 to shop for them, DH is done and back for 14.99 and in 15 minutes.
My husband also isn't great at packing, he leaves that up to me. (I always win!) I always pack things just in case and we've been glad to have those things at times! I also agree a courtesy call would be good manners, I never had that issue with my hubby. He may not think to call but wouldn't give me a hard time if I did.
