I Need an Opinion

Updated on April 13, 2009
B.K. asks from Flat Rock, MI
19 answers

So here is my problem. It's not a biggie but I just wanted to see how you all feel. In my husband's family all of their names start with J. Even the dog. Every name his folks suggest start with J. I don't like the whole "everybody's name starts with the same letter thing". I think it's cutsie and it's just not me. I've been able to name my first two boys names that don't start with J. I'm pregnant a 3rd time. If it's a girl we have picked a name that doesn't start with J. If it's a boy my husband is insisting a name with a J! I'm against it and we always fight about it. He say's my idea about not using a J name is "stupid". That of course really sets me off. What do you all think?

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for your responses! It really helped. Just FYI. Both boys middle names do start with J. I'm cool with that. I just don't want the first name with a J. I'm praying for a girl!! Thanks again!
Update again, got my girl and her name does not start with a J, it starts with a C. Thank God I got my girl!

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W.B.

answers from Detroit on

its up to you. every family is unique. My family all my 4 childrens names begin with at T, did that becasue I liked the meaning there all american indian names, no one else has names like there's.
good luck

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J.S.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think since you got to name the first 2 children names that you have chosen that do not begin with J then maybe you should just let him maybe name this child..maybe agree on a J name together..... me and my boyfriends name start with a J and i had my sons name with a J lol.....just to keep with the whole J thing... lol

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L.K.

answers from Detroit on

Hi B.,

This is a tough one. I would never let my family dictate what I named my child in any way, shape, or form, but your husband should definitely have some say in the matter. Something tells me that he would not be satisfied with a "J" middle name though, so maybe you can sit down together and try to find a name that you can both be happy with, and then PRAY FOR A GIRL!

My husband tried to pull something similar on me. Because I had my first baby shortly after I turned 40, and don't intend to have more, there was no way I was going to give in to what he wanted. He wanted to name him Ozley which, well, screw that! lol So I allowed that for his middle name and he was happy. So now my son's initials are AOK, but that's a-ok, I guess. : )

I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope you can find a compromise that you can both live with!

L.

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C.

answers from Grand Rapids on

My husband also insisted that all our children's names start with J since his did. I fought it for awhile, but then we sat down and we found J names that I liked and it was simpler to be able to just look through one letter section in the baby name books! However, I told my husband that if he insisted on the first name starting with J, that I had full reign on picking the middle name. It was a good compromise and I now love all of our girls (4) and their names. Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Saginaw on

Him saying it's stupid that you don't want to name it with a 'J', is as stupid as him wanting to name it with a 'J'. All I can really say is work on it together there's got to be a way for you both to come up with a name you both like. My husband and I had a problem with every man in his family has the middle name Lee well the name I like for the first name did not sound as good with the middle name so, a week before we delivered our lil guy we finally came up with a first name that went well with the middle name. But I told him this is the last child that will have that middle name and the next boy we have will have the first name I liked without the middle name being 'Lee'. Hopefully there is something you guys can do that will make you both happy, 'cause this is a very special time. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Saginaw on

I agree with the whole agreeing on the middle name that starts with J. Not sure what names you have picked out for the girl but you could always have her middle name be Jade and then he would get his j name and that's a really pretty middle name to have for a girl. My first born I picked out the first name and that starts with a j but I went with a name that I like and I let his dad pick out his middle name.

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S.K.

answers from Detroit on

This is YOUR LIFE, not your in-laws! Would your husband be just as supportive if your parents did the same and demanded a Q name? Drop the letter thing and pick a name because you LIKE it, not because of a letter. This is a control issue with your in-laws. You are in control. S.

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J.

answers from Detroit on

In my opinion, don't they have enough names with a J already?? It's a little bit much (to me anyway) that the dog's name even starts with a J, kind of going a little overboard. So I side with you, don't pick a name that starts with a J, don't do it to the poor kid. Be unique in your own way and pick out a name that you like and is meaningful to you. If it end's up starting with a J so be it, but don't just pick it because it starts with a J!
Good Luck!

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B.J.

answers from Detroit on

B., what's in a name ? Your husband having giving in to you with the first two children....come on STOP wanting to have your WAY and let compromise this thing. Thank God for a healthy baby and the name will be a blessing, think about it!!! Time is so short to be disagree on a NAME, right?

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D.P.

answers from Detroit on

If its not a biggie , give in and let him have his way . you got your way twice.
good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Toledo on

Hi B.,

I don't think that you are "wrong" in not wanting to name your child something that starts with a J. Sounds like they may have to many names with a J as it is! I say stand your ground and do what you want. I mean if that is what the grandparents wanted to do with THEIR family that is fine, but this is your family and you do what is right for you.

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J.S.

answers from Detroit on

I would see if some how you can agree on the middle name starting with "J". This way your husband can sort of get his way. If this doesn't work, let him know that you both need to agree on a name. Fair is fair.

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A.A.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think that both of you liking the name is more important than what it starts with. This is your family now, not the in-laws. However, your husbands opinion should matter to you, no matter how silly it may seem. Maybe because it seems to mean so much to him you could suggest starting the middle name with a J. Good luck on this one!

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S.N.

answers from Saginaw on

Well, since this is your third child, and you managed to get away with not using J names up until now, my thought is, maybe you can at least explore your J name options. His reason for wanting a J name might seem silly to you, but there are plenty of fine names that start with J, and discounting J names just for that reason seems silly too. These are his children too, and he should be able to take the lead on naming ONE of them. Just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

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R.G.

answers from Detroit on

How were you able to not use J for the first two kids? Id’ use that strategy again. Are there any J names you like? Maybe tell him you’ll only use that one J name or use a the J name for a middle name.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

Have to say I am on your side with this one. I never understood the whole same letter thing. I say be original.

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S.R.

answers from Toledo on

Hello, I don't know if your third one has been named already or not, but I thought I might be able to provide some useful advice. My husband and I just had number four. He wanted a name that started with "M" and I didn't like the idea. He picked the name and we fought about it until the day I was suppose to be released from the hospital after she was born. I put the name he wanted on her birth certicicate I absolutly Loathed the name and I thought it was a dumb name. I complained about her name alot and then I remembered something I had told the oldest daughter, "it doesn't matter what we name the baby because we are all special and we are all loved equally". I hope that helps!

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P.M.

answers from Detroit on

I get where you are coming from with it being cutsie, and a little corney. I have cousins whose name all begin with S, but to top if off they had to be in alphabetical order - good thing they stopped with #5 - Syndi! Your husband has compromised on the first 2, maybe you could on the 3rd? If your 3rd is a boy, he will get the honor of carrying on the tradition.

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C.L.

answers from Saginaw on

Well, marriage is all about compromise. If he has let you name 2 without a "j" it sounds like it's about time for his turn. Other than the whole family thing irritating you, you must be able to agree on a name that starts with a j or even has a j in it.
C.

PS, I'm partial to "Jack"

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