I Dont Know When to Have My Baby!

I think that might make her upset, remember this is a huge change for her also. Do you know any of her classmates parents? Maybe they wouldnt mind helping out getting her to school and bringing her to the hospital after school or something. Just my opinion.

Even if you have to have a medically neccessary c-section and if you have to have a c-section because you had one before that is not a medically neccessary c-section, you should still really let labor start on its own and then go in for the c-section. This insures that the baby is the one that picks its birthday, which is its human right. The baby releases a protein from its lungs that tell mom to begin labor. This is very important because before this time the baby is not ready. Its lungs are not fully mature and ready for life outside the womb before this time. This is why babies end up in the NICU with trouble breathing following scheduled inductions and c-sections even though they may have reached the so called "due date." I was a NICU Respiratory Therapist and saw it many times.
It is vitally important that you let the baby decide this. You are talking about not even going to your due date. You are running the risk of having a baby in the NICU for a couple of days following birth. This is a very selfish thing to do. Please don't do it.

Lisa

Why do you have to schedule the birth as a c-section? Is it medically necessary? If yes, than you have to do what you can to make it work. But why wouldn't the nurses/hospital staff be there to help you after your c-section while you are at the hospital? That's their job and they have more experience with it than your husband would, I assume.

If it's not medically necessary to have a c-section, then I would think letting the baby come when it's ready would be LESS complicated for you. Your husband can take care of your children, and your parents can come after work, or move their hours around so they can visit, etc. From your description of the hoops that you have to jump through for the c-section (unless it's medically necessary), you should try to relax, just have your baby vaginally when it's ready to show up, and your family can work out a schedule that works for everyone.

Good luck!

There is a lot of new research coming out that is proving that scheduling birth before 40 weeks can be detrimental to the child and leads to more NICU stays, more respiratory distress,rates of successful breastfeeding and even life long health problems. Why not just wait until you are actually due and then you don't have to worry at all about your daughter missing school. Or even better yet wait until you go into labor so that you know the baby is ready and then have your c-section if it is medical necessary (was your first a c-section? If so is this just a repeat c? If then it is not medicaly necessary for the health of your child so waiting is better. VBAC would be the best though).

First of all - I'm assuming the c-section is becuase you had your first by C-section and you have to do so with the 2nd?

As far as your kindergarten daughter going or not going to school or getting a ride from someone else - it's VERY exciting for the older siblings to go to school and announce the birht of "their" baby. I would try to find a wy to allow her to go to school for those last few days. Not sure why you don't want someone else taking her back and forth to school. It's not traumatic for kids - it's generally a fun kind of time - exciting, maybe a little nervous, but over all an exciting time. do you not have any nieghbors or good friends who would be happy to bring her back & forth to school?

And why does your husband have to stay at the hospital? I don't understand. You will be getting all the care you need from the hospital staff. Your husband needs to be with your kids once your childbirth is over. I had a c-section and while the first 24 hours were painful the hospital staff were there to help me when I needed help. You can handle the hospital stay like a big girl on your own and let your husband take care of the kids until your parents can get there.

With living in MO, we could - conceivably - have snow in April! It's been known to happen! So, I think there's a good chance that your school schedule may still be blown to pieces. The days of weather control are not here yet!

Sooo, how about some flexibility in your scheduling....or eliminate the scheduling & place your trust in God that all will work out? !!

& as for your husband being with you at the hospital....some of those things you listed....could easily be covered by the nursing staff - that's what they're there for! This would then allow your husband to care for your daughter & enjoy her graduation....& eliminate the need to try to rely on your parents.

I think she needs to be in school if only for that fact that she may be resentful missing the last few days ~ which are usually the most fun ~ b/c of the baby. You don't want to start out with her having bad feelings towards the little one. Can't your hubby get her to and from school on Monday? Yes, I get that you want (need) him home, but she needs him too and he can bring you the baby and you can sit and nurse or rock while he goes and picks up your daughter. I had 2 c-sections, and while they are not fun, you can still function.
Also, with my 2nd my due date was June 10th but b/c of my issues with my 1st they scheduled my c-section for May 31st. I went into labor and had to go in for my c-section on May 24th.

I know you already decided what to do, but I feel I had to agree with other posters about the need for a scheduled c-section. C-section is major surgery, and not to be taken lightly. (I assume you know this since you already have a little one) I just wanted to put in my 2 cents saying that babies come when babies are ready. Even if it's past "due date"...that's just dr's best guess, and it's not always right. Think how you would feel if your baby was delivered by c-section and his/her lungs were underdeveloped. It would be your fault...could you live with that? Not trying to judge, just want whats best for your baby.

Updated

I know you already decided what to do, but I feel I had to agree with other posters about the need for a scheduled c-section. C-section is major surgery, and not to be taken lightly. (I assume you know this since you already have a little one) I just wanted to put in my 2 cents saying that babies come when babies are ready. Even if it's past "due date"...that's just dr's best guess, and it's not always right. Think how you would feel if your baby was delivered by c-section and his/her lungs were underdeveloped. It would be your fault...could you live with that? Not trying to judge, just want whats best for your baby.

I guess it ultimately comes down to what works best for you and your family. It wouldn't be the end of the world for your daughter to miss the last few days. Also, I don't think it is horrible to rely on someone else to help out with kindergarten transportation for a few days. Maybe even your husband could leave the hospital to drive your daughter to kindergarten and pick her up (on Fri not the day the baby is born) and I"m assuming you would be back home by Monday so your husband could take care of transportation then too. It will all work out. Try not to stress out too much! You can only plan so much and you'll make yourself crazy trying to worry about it all. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Can you talk with her teacher and see how big a deal it is? If it were me I would absolutely pull her from school, UNLESS there was going to be an end-of-year party that she would be upset to miss. Even in that case perhaps it would not be a big deal for your parents to get her there for a few hours (?).

I would think that she would be so excited about the baby that the end of Kinder is going to be a blur anyway.

Good luck with everything - how wonderful!

I wouldn't want my child to miss school either,but you have to look out for your health & the health of your unborn baby I wouldn't schedule to early but not to late either just in case you do go into labor you must have a medical reason to you needing a C-section.Snow isn't over yet so there could be more snow days.Having him there for the C-section is great after that the help i'm sure is great but if he has to attend to the other child your going to have to put forth the effort to rely on yourself plus the nursing staff it is uncomfortable to ask but that is why they are ther & getting paid.Good Luck to your new bundle of joy you'll get it worked out you have to can't stop baby from coming

I guess you can do whatever you want to do about K and your daughter.
Just wondering why you are so set on a C-section...is it medically necessary?

The 23rd is a Monday, so you'd only have to have someone take her to school for Thursday and Friday. Your hubby and you will be home on Monday so your hubby could take her to school for you. I wouldn't have her miss the last few days. That's when they have the class parties/yearbook signing, etc.

Unfortunately, the baby will come when she wants to. With the change in schedule if you are depending on help from your Mom and Dad etc..you really are at the mercy of when they are available plus when the doctor wants to perform the C and when hospital has availability. Go with what seems to work best for everyone's schedule. That's what I had to do all THREE times.....Good Luck and Congratulations.

I would move forward as planned and ask your parents to take off Monday, or spare your hubby on that day the time it takes to get your daughter to school and back.
I may have misread this, but he'll be home with you the week after the baby and/or you'll be in the hospital with him there as back up?? If he can't be home with you I'd have him change his schedule to be with you at home and not in the hospital as there are nurses, etc for that time and you could really use the extra hands to run your daughter to and from school:)
Winter is just beginning for you . Growing up in MO, snow/ice can come as late as March affecting the school schedules (hello Saturday school).
Move forward as planned, let your daughter attend school as planned and work on getting help to minimize the disruption to her schedule.
Good luck and hang in there!

Why can't your husband take her to school and then come to the hospital? Then pick her up from school, take her home, and return to the hospital. Sounds like your Dad will be at home to take care of her after school.

This just doesn't seem like it's worth stressing over. Let someone else take her to school and pick her up. Perhaps a classmate's parent. Most people love to be helpful and feel a part of an important event such as a birth.

I suggest that she should not miss the last days of school. The teacher plans transition activities. My granddaughter missed the transition time at pre-school and she still commented about missing her teacher a couple of years later. She didn't get to say good bye in the ritual way that helps.

Later: I went back and read some of your previous posts. I suggest that you're making your life way too complicated. Find a way to relax and go with the flow.

You were on Lexapro for anxiety and you can't take it while you're pregnant. I suggest that your anxiety is running your life. Since you can't take meds, I strongly urge you to get started with weekly counseling. A counselor can help you put your worries in prospective and help you make more reasonable decisions in a timely manner. It really is too early to be micro managing your delivery in May/June.

You said you stopped Lexapro cold turkey. some of the intensity of your current anxiety could be fueled by stopping it without weaning yourself off of it. I suggest that you talk with a medical doctor experienced in the use of medications for anxiety about ways to minimize the damage.

Every time you start to feel anxious, take deep diaphragmatic breaths and remind yourself this doesn't have to be solved now. Perhaps keep a list of your worries so that you can discuss them with your counselor/therapist. Perhaps keep a journal. I've found that just writing down my worries helps me to let go of them.

Remind yourself that life will go on, no matter what happens. This too shall pass. That none of this is an emergency. Deal with one thing at a time. Talk with yourself to calm yourself down and remind yourself that brain chemicals/hormones are causing much of your anxiety and you can control what you do with those feelings.

They are done teachig new material by that time plus it's only kindergarten keep your scheduled date it will be fine if she's not there I don't know about your area but here kindergarten isn't required you don't have to put your child in school until first grade so I don't think three days is a big deal this young.

I don't know how well this would work for you, but what if you parents watched your kids as planned, but hubby just takes a break from the hospital to take her to school & to pick her up? Then he could be at the hospital the rest of the time. That might be a way to compromise!

Hope it works out for you!

oh my gosh this is funny. you are planning for May already and I have no idea what I'm even doing this weekend, lol!
I hope it all pans out as planned, BUT make sure you have a back up plan just in case... :)

Delivering a baby before 40 weeks is not bad or dangerous. Full term is conservatively judged to be 38 weeks.

I have had 2 c-births so I appreciate that you want to pick THE PERFECT DAY...But like many things in life, this sometimes isn't possible. I went thru a lot of hoops to make sure my first got to go to every "last week" event at pre-school when his little brother was born. He had been sooo looking forward to it.

I see you did not ask for input about whether to schedule your birth to begin with. I assume that medical decision is best left between you and your doctor and if you wanted input about that you would have phrased your question differently. I am correct?

So I guess the best you can do is pick the date that causes your family the least amount of heartache and let go of the needs that have to go unmet. No need to feel guilty over small things that will be forgotten quickly.

Just reading your question I feared for you that you would have a lot of responses about don't do the c-section, blah, blah, blah! I'm sorry for that because I know how hard that can be to hear. Some people just don't understand.

Anyway, I think this...it is not a huge deal to take your daughter out of the last 3 days of KG. She might be upset, she might not, but in 10 years, is it really going to matter?? NO! That being said, I do agree with others who said to maybe let your husband go and take her and/or pick her up from school and then return to the hospital. I support your need/want to have hubby with you, I did the same thing and surprisingly I had a lot of people say to me too things like 'why are you making him stay...!" That just straight up irritated me, so I get how you feel. But, having him jet out for a while isn't a big deal and even if you can't get out of bed just have the nurses bring you the baby.

In the end, I don't think you should change your c-section date, but I do think you may need to be more flexible with the school/husband issue. Either way, I think it's fine, so do what makes you feel the most secure and sane!

I think it is great to have your hubby there with you, but the nurses get paid to do what he is doing and you are actually paying them (or your insurance is) to do what your hubby is doing. But if he is happy to be there and help you then so be it, probably the only time that will happen, right? ;o) Anyway, schedule your C for the day you originally had. If your daughter misses the last few days of Kindergarten, it's no biggie. They pretty much clean the rooms, play games, watch lots of movies and turn in any books and recieve any papers the teacher still has and get their yearbooks. The yearbook you can get anytime during the summer. The staff is usually at the schools most of the summer since kids are constantly registering.
Another thought is maybe a neighbor can bring your daughter to school when they bring their child or she can take the bus. There was three days when my girls were in K and 1st grade that they had to take the bus, when before they didn't, and they loved it. When we moved into our house they were allowed to take the bus the next year and really liked it. Hope this helps some. Good luck and God Bless and Congratulations.

I didn't read all the responses, so I may be stating the same things over. My DH and I missed my Stepsons 8th grade graduation due to extending the year from snow days. I felt terrible, but it was for our honeymoon (planned months in advance around the original date of graduation). I still feel bad about it. As far as getting out of school early... my sister moved the end of last school year. She talked to the teachers and let them know the situation and the teachers made arraingements for them to miss the last few days of school. My neice was in kindy and the teacher said they weren't doing any major classowrk the last few days, so she wouldn't be missing anything. My nephew was in 2nd and he had a major test scheduled for the last days. His teacher let him take the test early so he could also miss the last few days. I would talk to your kids teachers and see if it is necessary for them to be there. Good luck!

Back when I had my kids, or at least the first several, there was no choice of C-section unless a problem was found, it was so fun to just find out when the baby came and to be ready and wait. I think if it was me that's what I'd do. I'd see when God sent the little one out into the world and whatever else will work out. I wouldn't take your daughter out of school unless no other choice at all and do things as 'normal' as possible for her and the family. That's just my thinking on it though.

I would not take my daughter out of the last three days of kindergarten for any reason - it's a big deal to finish your last day of the first day of school. How about your husband driving her to school and then coming to the hospital and a babysitter for the after school time.

I would leave the decision up to your parents. Let them know that she will have 3 more days of school, and see if they are willing to take care of it. If they really don't want to take her back and forth then she can miss, if they don't mind then let them do it.

Not to throw in another wrinkle but there is probably a big Kindergarten graduation that your daughter is not going to want to miss. My daughter almost missed hers and thought she wouldn't get to go to first grade if she didn't go (ha). I would talk with your parents and let them have that special time with her at the end of kindergarten. It is something they will both cherish. Talk to your mom, be honest. Plus... be flexible, you have a ways to go.

Wow, I couldn't finish reading some of the responses because I can't even believe some people would even ask why your hubby is going to be in the hospital with you... It's not like you made this baby alone and you don't have a choice about staying in the hospital. lol. My husband doesn't have a choice in the matter either. I am not staying by myself, bonding with our new addition. Our DD will spend it with her grandparents (she will love it) and we are having a planned c-section as well, which helps with the planning. If my daughter was in school I wouldn't hesitate to keep her out if it for 3 days if I had too, I would ask my hubby's parents if they could take her, but if they couldn't then I wouldn't sweat it. Just talk to her teacher beforehand. As for people implying you shouldn't have a c section.... it's really none of their business what choice you make.... I had chosen to have a repeat c/s already but during my u/s my doctor noticed I had a fibroid on my uterus which makes me prone to breech babies(DD was breech) and not a canidate for VBAC, so of course I am going to pick a day to have my baby....my Dr told me too.... Okay venting done:) I think whatever you choose to do and whatever works best for your family is the right thing for you.

If your mom is going to be with your kids on Thursday and Friday, and she's taking off work to do so, have her take your daughter to school and back. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. The last few days, academically, aren't a big deal (I'm a teacher), but there are some end of the year celebrations she might miss. That way she'll only miss the last day of school.

Yikes! I am also in the midst of c-section date decision making and I hate seeing people say "let labor begin on its own" because I fear that they are right! =\
Good luck with your decision! Sounds like you have a lot of factors to concern yourself with.

I would have your daughter miss the last three days and wouldn't think twice about it. Its kindergarten, its not the end of the world! Good luck with the new baby--congrats!

And I can't imagine being in the hospital giving birth and taking care of our newest addition without my husband there--no way! He wouldn't miss that either.

Your daughter isn't going to miss anything or be flunked if you just pull her out of school for the last couple days. I say stick with your plan.

I think you should do whatever works for your family the best and keeps your little one in her kindergarten schedule as much as possible.

But I'd also like to reply to this:
"I would LOVE to just go into labor, but with having two other kids, I feel like I need to have some sort of plan. Wouldnt you?"

My answer is no, I wouldn't. I have four kids and didn't "plan" when any of them were born. My second was a New Year's baby born 3 weeks early, so any kind of planning like what you are doing would have been a moot point anyway. I don't personally believe in making my kids' births conform to my schedule.

I hope the birth goes well, no matter what you decide to do.

She can miss the last three days of school. No biggie.

I would absolutely let her miss those last few days! By that point, they are just playing because the teachers are finished teaching and most of them are packing up the room to get ready for summer break. I had my second daughter on Monday of the week my first daughter was finishing second grade. My older daughter missed that Monday, Tuesday and half day Wednesday because my parents don't help with my kids, so I had no one to care for her and she stayed at the hospital with us the entire time. The field trips, end of year party and awards day program had all been done the week before, so I didn't worry a minute about it.

I think you should let the baby come on it's on. As for hubby let him take care of your kids. I have 3 all of them by C-Section for various reasons only the 3rd was scheduled and she came early. My husband stayed at home with our kids. You have the nurses there when you need them and you can take care of yourself, they expect you to care for your baby.

Generally the c-section is planned for 39 weeks so that you won't go into labor and have to have an emergency c-section and be put completely out. Also, it's entirely possibly that you could go into labor earlier. My c-section was planned for 39 weeks and my water broke at 38 weeks. I wouldn't worry so much over something that nature could very well change anyway.

I don't understand why you are making your husband stay with you at the hospital??? The hospital has nurses that will help you with the baby and with you at any time of the day/night. Obviously, he will be there for the delivery, but if he is going to take off of work, wouldn't you rather him be at home to help?
Also, she can miss 3 days, its kindergarten...don't give yourself an added stress and go for the 18th! It seems to work out best for all :)

Can't your parents drop her at school and pick her up for the last couple of days of school? I don't see why that isn't an option! Plus don't they have a little ceremony for the kids at the end of the year to signal their transition to 1st grade? If they do, then please don't neglect that as I am sure your daughter would be extremely sad to miss out on that(it is a memory maker-I remember mine and it's been 26 years).
Oh and you do have Memorial Day weekend in there so why not schedule it around that? Say the Thursday before and then there is the long weekend(Does your mom work on Memorial Day?).
And if you went into labor, it isn't that big of a deal, you could pull her out for the day and she can be in there with you if you couldn't get a friend to help out. Maybe contact some of your daughter's friends mothers to see if they can help you out if you go into labor before the scheduled c-section. OR they could help by taking and picking her up from school. OR your husband can take her and pick her up and then return to the hospital-as you know there are nurses that can help you while he tends to your other child.
Your stressing out about something that is easily rectified. Your daughter needs her routine as much now as she did before-just something to think about.
GL!