Husband Wants to Get Me Something for Christmas, but I Don't Need Anything!

Updated on December 16, 2011
A.C. asks from Cordova, TN
23 answers

My husband has been asking me for weeks what I want for christmas. The problem is, I don't need or want anything. I'm trying to scale back on the amount we are spending on presents this year (next year we won't be able to do much bc we will have 2 kids). I still have a few gifts left to get for family, and we don't have much money left between now and christmas. My husband says that my 5 year old would love to go shopping for me (she's 5, she doesn't care!!!) and wants to use the credit card, but they are almost maxed and I refuse to let him use any of them. What would you guys do/ask for?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Dallas on

We were in a similar boat a couple years ago for Mother's day. I went to Michaels and bought several small (5x7) framed canvases. Then I asked my husband to have the kids recreate their favorite works of art (we have an art book) on the canvasses. Two years later and those are still hanging in my office. Total cost was about $10, and the kids were really excited to give them to me. I loved them because they weren't typical 'kid art', they were my kid's interpretation of famous art - which was pretty cool.

We used to have a tradition, when we were trying to pay off debt, of taking the whole family to the dollar store. Each child had $10 to spend on each parent and each other. They got to pick out 10 gifts they thought we would love. At age 5 it's definitely quantity over quality so they loved that they could get everyone "a bunch" of presents. It was a great tradition, the kids actually asked for it this year again and we might do it.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Tell him you want your credit card debt paid off.

Seriously, it makes no sense to me that a husband and wife would be buying each other gifts when they have maxed out credit card debt. I did read your post right, didn't I?

Have your daughter make you something - free, and more special.

If he absolutely insists on getting you something, I would suggest Financial Peace from Dave Ramsey.

Merry Christmas!

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Having your husband take your 5 year old shopping to get a gift for you is really sweet, and will instill giving habits in your 5 year old (especially a good idea for boys).

You can find something under $20 that you would like. When I was five, I bought my father some travel shampoos, and I was really proud of my gift. In my thirties, I discovered he still had them. It meant a lot to me.

How about some travel shampoo?

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Decatur on

I am with Scarlett - no need to spend any more money!

Other free ideas:

- A massage from HIM
- A time capsule from your daughter. Make it a yearly tradition she puts something hand-made in the capsule each year and you can open together many years later
- A book of homemade "coupons" from both hubby and daugther. They can include one night of dad cooking, daughter cleaning her room, etc.

I think the greatest gift would be to teach your daughter "We are not going shopping with the credit card this year because debt is bad". What a way to change her outlook and life for the better!

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I would ask him to help our daughter make something! She will have alot of fun with it, and you will look back on that item many years from now. I still have most of the things my teens made in their early school years, and I treasure them. <3

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

Oh sweety it is not about what you "need" it's what you WANT you must want something :)

A Massage, a book, a favotire food, 20 hours worth of quiet time...something

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Right now it sounds like it isn't about what you want or need, but what your husband and daughter want and need. Let them! Give him a $20 limit.

I would ask for an inexpensice drug store perfume. A pretty sweater. A pair of inexpensive earrings. Girls like to shop for girlie stuff. It'll be fun for your daughter sniffing all the perfumes and when youopen it you can spritz a little onher. There is a whole line at Walmart in the bath section of coordintaing lotion, body spray, and perfume. They are like $4 a piece, so you could get the whole set for $12. The Hawaiian Ginger smells clean, crisp, gorgeous.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.F.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Breakfast in bed - on December 26th! (give a specific date, so you know you can sleep in a little AND you actually get the gift without having to "ask" for it, which we all know is never easy).

Your husband and daughter can decorate a card for you, make the food together AND clean the kitchen. Who doesn't need or want that? ;D

Merry Christmas!

3 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

Ask for a handmade book of coupons for services around the house.

"Good for one dinner, cooked and cleaned up after"

"Good for 3 loads of laundry, washed, folded and put away"

"Good for 3 hours of time away from EVERYONE"

"Good for an evening with ONLY adult company"

"Good for a family game/movie/fun night"

3 moms found this helpful

J.✰.

answers from San Antonio on

I'd ask for a date night with husband. Or for him to cook and clean one night for dinner.

I'd ask your daughter to make you something (a bookmark, a cute coloring page, something with noodles and glue, etc.)

Or tell them to go to the dollar store and pick out 5 items for Mommy ($5). It'll give her a chance to think of you (mommy needs a shower cap? a new toothbrush? a candle? candy? organizing basket?) and still swipe the debit card.

3 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Why not let them have a small limit (like $20.) and go the the craft store and make you something. You will be suprised and who cares if you need it or not. It will be something special from your daughter that you will enjoy forever. I keep all the orniments that my daughter and step daughter have made over the years. We still put them on the tree.

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I hear you.. I always tell my husband "I want a fun time with him.".

Overnight stay in a nice hotel.. even if it is in town, maybe a super nice dinner at a new restaurant... Going on an adventure one weekend to a place we have never been. Going to see a live performance that is coming up.

Maybe going camping at a new place with the whole family.
Have him take off from work just for fun on Monday or Friday so we can have him home for 3 days straight.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband is the same way! He's talking jewelry and purses, ect. I DON'T WANT THOSE THINGS!!! I want to spend my money elsewhere. I told him if anything (and I really do mean this), I wanted my carpets professionally cleaned before the baby gets here and the dogs professionally groomed.

He won't do it. He says those things aren't 'gifts' but the kicker is now they will never get done. He'll get me some electronic gadget that he wants and claim it for me. Happens every year for birthdays and Christmas.

2 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

No need to spend, but i do think it is a good lesson to teach your daughter to consider you, even at 5. Couldn't Dad just take her to Hallmark and choose a tree ornament or $5 token. He can write you a lovely card.

A token to express you are treasured and worthy. If you allow them to blow you off this year you may set a precedence..... That may get old.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.C.

answers from Lexington on

We ask th e kids to shop at the dollar store and think hard about something they think we need, want or would remind us of them (or vice versa). Last year I got a candle from my son and a snow globe from my daughter, and my husband got a mittened ice scraper and homemade card. We let them make the grandparents coupon books (glitter and all) good for things like one sleepover, one tea party, etc. I highly recommend something similar.

Every year I consistently ask for presents out of the Samaritan's Purse catalog - like a goat for a family or a group of reproducible fish to stock a community lake, mosquito nets or microloans. If there is $ available, this is a GREAT gift for anyone! However, if you're going into to debt (or otherwise mortgaging your future to get what you want in the present), I would suggest going homemade until you're out of debt.

1 mom found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Do you need any kitchen stuff? Or maybe something from the dollar store, like candles? I see his point; he wants you to have something to open :)

Maybe ask for an ornament for 'the family', that's not expensive!

Or your favorite picture of your family or kiddos, framed :)

1 mom found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Let her pick you out some fun socks, comfy slippers, perfume, pjs etc - she'll love it!!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

U.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

It does not make sense to me to have a five year old "shop" with money she does not have, and especially not with a maxed out cc from Dad.

How about making it a family policy that gifts for each other should be self-made? That they should truly take the recipient into account. It is not the $$ value that is important, but that the giver has really thought about how to please the recipient and that it comes from the heart, especially when you are talking young children.

I agree with many of the earlier posts: Be specific in asking for something that they can DO, individually or together: breakfast in bed was mentioned, it could also be planning/preparing/serving a nice family dinner, for example for New Year's eve? Coupon books are always great, and the daughter can make her own, if she needs Dad's help with the writing, he can do that, but she can cut and decorate and bind together. What could a five year old do?
Plenty! Pick up her room without being asked for a week. Sweep the floor. Take out the trash. Play a board game with mom and dad. go for a walk with mom and dad. or with mom alone. Brush mom's hair when she is tired or stressed out. a back rub.
So many things! It could be chores that she does not really like to do, chores that are normally not hers to do, to spend time with mom, do activities together (one-on-one or as family, or both).

He could also help her with a craft activity, e.g. does she have beads? He can suggest (and help her as needed) to make a necklace for you, or a bracelet. I have some that my sons made for me when they were little with plastic beads and knitting yarn (with no help from an adult), that are near and dear to my heart.

One year I received a box from my son (he was in K5, now that I think of it), beautifully wrapped (alone, by himself). The box was empty, at least it looked empty. He explained that he blew a lot of kisses into the box, so I would always have some, and would always know he loves me, even if he is mad sometimes. How sweet was that? And it cost nothing.

And Dad can make a coupon book too: prepare and serve a romantic dinner for the two of you on a date night (does NOT have to be expensive, it is about the thought put into it, doing the work and going the extra mile to make it look and feel special); massage was mentioned already; time for mom to allow her to do something for herself (go out with friends, or take a leisurely bath, for example) by taking over household and child care duties at a time when he would not normally do it; being available for activities that mom likes and he maybe not so much (walk, play games, do yard work TOGETHER, do cleaning TOGETHER); and there can be multiples of some of those coupons they don't all have to be unique.

Allowing someone to give a gift to you is as important as giving gifts yourself. And teaching kids from early on that gifts should come from the heart, and that is not determined by the price tag alone, is a valuable lesson that will help them be more caring as they grow older and into adult hood.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.L.

answers from Lexington on

let her go shopping for you; have her work with your husband to find nice card stock, and then she can make you "gift certificates" for chore help, picking up her room, giving you a hug and kiss - If she really DOES want to get you something, and she really may; this will provide an opportunity to 'let her use the cc' and also teach her that the value of a gift is in the fact that it comes from the heart and with thought. (Staples/Office Max etc., may even have packaged 'gift certificate' forms that she can use a computer to fillin, but I think she would enjoy drawing/writing what she is giving you.

Updated

let her go shopping for you; have her work with your husband to find nice card stock, and then she can make you "gift certificates" for chore help, picking up her room, giving you a hug and kiss - If she really DOES want to get you something, and she really may; this will provide an opportunity to 'let her use the cc' and also teach her that the value of a gift is in the fact that it comes from the heart and with thought. (Staples/Office Max etc., may even have packaged 'gift certificate' forms that she can use a computer to fillin, but I think she would enjoy drawing/writing what she is giving you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Detroit on

After two years of wanting a toilet, and arguing about it, I asked for one for Christmas after the babysitter had to deal with it being clogged and overflowing, and leaking into the basement. Finally! I can get one now!

It is about teaching your daughter how to give presents. Going the homemade route is good, though hard to teach to men in some cases. Tell your daughter what you want, and she can press daddy about it. Or you may have a inexpensive gift from "her" and that can be okay, too.

I like the "I want to pay off the credit card," and the "I want time with you--take me out" responses. I love when my wants and needs match up.

Merry Christmas!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Louisville on

of course your 5 year old would love to get you somethign are you kidding kids love giving presents to people! tell him something practical, im asking for a new apron mixing spoons and fridge magnents to hold my kids pictures :)

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

First of all, your husband is doing a great thing for your daughter in helping her shop for mom and giving vs receiving.

That said... there are things they can get at the dollar store, bath salts, scrubbies, lotions, etc and it does not have to be extravagant.

Pay cash....

Secondly, maybe she can make something for you.

Figure out something so your daughter can experience the good feeling from giving as well.

Merry Christmas!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

If it was that my granddaughter wanted to get me something, I would tell him to take her to the dollar store and let her pick out 2 or 3 things that she wants to give me. With the kids, it's not really about what you want or need, it's what they feel good giving you.

As for hubby, tell him you'd prefer a coupon from him for some sort of assistance around the house or a day of him watching your little one while you go visiting or something along those lines.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions