Husband's Health

Hi!
My husband has been taking Juice Plus for over 7 years now. It is 17 fruits and veggies in a capsule minus the salt, sugar and water. It is one of the best things I have ever done for him! I know that no matter what he is getting the micronutrition of spinach, kale, broccoli, cabbage, pineapples, peaches, papayas, oranges (just to name few) each and every day! In fact, my whole family takes it and will forever! You can read more about it at www.StudiesOnJuicePlus.com. If you have children between the ages of 4 and college they can get on JP+ for free for up to three years with a paying adult. They have great tasting soft chews for children with the same ingredients.
Hope this helps and good luck to you!

L.

There is only so much that you can do. My mother-in-law has a family history of diabetes in later years - both siblings have it. She continues to make bad choices regarding her health. My father-in-law tries, but until she is ready to make healthier choices (exercise, diet, etc.) there is only so much that he can do. If it were my husband, I'd make healthy tasty dinners and not give him a choice about not eating foods at least at home though once he leaves the house, he might still make bad choices.

Best of luck.

Yes, my Dad was exactly like that.
He had Diabetes... and heart problems and High Blood Pressure... and ALL the other medical complications which arise, because of Diabetes.
My Dad also got Renal Failure. Which is kidney failure... he then had to have, 3 times a week... Dialysis. For hours, each session. For 3 years... before he died.

He also had had open heart surgery... and a Stroke. Which debilitated him.

For you as the Wife... you cannot 'make' him responsible for his Diabetes. Nor will your nutritious cooking, make him worse or better. BUT... you and he NEEDS to see a Nutritionist... which his Doctor should refer him to. As well as specialists for Diabetes.
He also has to take care of his feet... because Diabetics can easily get foot infections from even the most simple cut... and then get Gangrene, for example, and then amputation.
Your Husband... has a LOT to learn, about Diabetes.
It affects, not only your food intake, but the nervous system and the circulatory system... which is basically, the heart and entire body and adrenal glands and organs.

Your Husband is in "denial." Which is what many Diabetics do.
Maybe he can also join a "support group" for Diabetics.
They go through... a TON of very difficult emotions... and your Husband, believe me, DOES think about his mortality... and you and your son.
It is just VERY VERY hard... to understand Diabetes... and the ramifications of it.
Your Husband would benefit... from a support group.
All the nagging in the world... will not help a Diabetic.

(My Mom, would nag and admonish and LECTURE my Dad about it... and you know what? It only made it worse. And then she resented him. But as his Daughter... I would sit there... and. give him my shoulder... and let him vent to me and tell me his feelings about it. I encouraged him... enlisting him INTO his care and my cooking.... not just talking AT him like a non-entity who was just ill.
Before he died, my Dad told me, that "I" was the BEST thing for him... while he was ill and the most helpful.
Keep in mind, that the Spouses of Diabetics... OFTEN get very angry and resentful toward their Diabetic Spouse. Because to them it is very 'easy' to do and be and handle. But for the Diabetic... their entire world, turns upside down... and they DO go into denial....and the last thing they need... is to be rejected.)

Your Husband ALSO has to EXERCISE... even walking up and down the street. Everyday.

My Dad... died 10 years ago. Because of Diabetes. I miss him... dearly. Everyday. He was my BEST friend... and a wonderful Dad....

My Dad died, when he was ONLY in his early 60's.

He had been battling Diabetes since he was in his 40's.

All the best,
Susan

Hi Mama-
My husband has type 2 diabetes. It was a hard dietary switch for us because we were used to eating on the fly. Then it was a little pricey, testing foods to see if we liked them, throwing away what we just couldn't stomach, etc.
I have it down to a pretty basic diet. No more pasta (it's just too hard to eat only 1/2 cup of pasta!), only heavy grain or sandwich thins breads, dried fruit and nuts, yo baby yogurt, chicken, almost no red meat, and raw veggies...sometimes cooked, like squash, etc. We eat some pureed veggie soups, too, and some turkey bacon. He has lost 70 pounds in the last year and a half, and looks amazing, especially compared to our swollen bodies 7-8 years ago.

I keep snack bags of dried cranberries, raw almonds (or pumpkin seeds, pine nuts, walnuts...any mixture, really), and a pinch of sea salt for snacks. There is also yo baby yogurt and pumpkin seed flax granola, apples, etc that he can cut up and mix together. He likes peanut butter and jelly, so I buy the sandwich thins (it's like the carbs from one slice of bread, but for a whole sandwich), the no salt, no sugar all natural peanut butter from trader joe's (cheap! only $1.79 a jar), the low sugar jam (apricot and strawberry have the least amount of sugar), and he loves that. It does take some taste bud adjusting, but in the end, he likes it and the physical results, too.
I also buy ALOT of Cliff Mojo trail mix bars (target). They are low in calories, high in complex carbs, great for circulation (granola and your blood stream are GREAT friends in small quantities), and they taste really good, too. He can eat low sugar oatmeal or plain meuseli for breakfast, he can eat whole grains like barley, wild rice, etc., as bases for his meals with chicken and veggies, you can puree carrots or zucchini or squash into his mashed potatoes..... and add powdered cinnamon into his ground coffee before turning on the pot. Cinnamon regulates blood sugar. You can even get it in capsules, and take two in the a.m. and two in the evening.

The thing is, the better he feels, the less meds he can take, and the lower his blood pressure should be. But being amped on meds with high sugar and what not....i watched my husband suffer through a diabetic coma, and that was no good...but it took the coma and then a blindness scare to change his mind about his health....and the doctor telling him that they still amputate limbs on diabetics.That seems extreme, but even basic diabetes that is slightly out of control can damage eye sight, liver function, limb use, etc. It made me want to force a change that I could not control...and it took a near death experience for my hubby before he decided to change his ways.

Hey, if you do the market shopping, like I do, then you have the power to limit what food is available. If he refuses to attempt to take better care of himself, then treat him like a man on his death bed. When I tell my hubby he is acting like an old man, he looks at me almost indignantly, then crunches his carrots and broccoli as loud as possible. It's comical, but also gets him to do what he needs. =)

Good luck mama. Just keep telling him how much you love him and want him to be around for you and your son. He will eventually see the truth and love in your ways.

-E.

my husband and i have very good friend who's husband is the same way, she cooks what SHE wants to eat since he will not eat the healthy stuff he NEEDS to eat that she's provided before, gives him the knowledge that eating it too will hurt his health and leave it at that. he'll eat it, then later complain about the problem that arrises, she just tell him when he starts caring about what he eats for his health, he can hush and she doesn't listen to the moping and complaining. she's also gone to the extent of taking out a life ins policy, and rubbing it in his face...since you dont' seem to care about your health and you are on the road to killing yourself, i figured another life ins policy on you would be good to have so i can pay off the bills you wont be around to help me pay...i think that lite the fire in his a$$ cause he's gotten better

I just don't understand grown adults who "refuse" to eat their veggies. Please tell me that you are not allowing your preschooler to do the same.

I would make healthy meals for the family that follow the doctor's recommended diet. If you are unsure, talk with the doctor about a referral to a nutritionist- many insurance companies will allow a set numbef of visits for patients with restricted diets.

You aren't going to change his eating habits quickly or easily, but enlist others to help... family, friends, healthcare providers- all of them sending the same message will eventually get through.

I would also have a short, but focused conversation with your husband about the realities of the situation. His current medical situation is:
1. Preventable
2. Serious and life-threatening
3. Heritable (meaning your child is at high-risk for developing the same)

Bottom line, your child learns how to care for himself from you both. If you are the one doing the cooking, then they BOTH eat what you make. This isn't optional b/c your child deserves to grow-up with a father. If your husband doesn't hear that message the first time, keep repeating it.

You and your child start modeling healthy eating and exercise and hope that your husband follows along.

Hi LF---This is a fight I would be willing to fight. Your husband is, in a word, killing himself slowly. I have a couple of resources you can check out to help with 1-motivation and 2-healthy recipe ideas. I do NOT recommend many of the diabetes diet books out there...they really aren't that healthy. After you explore these websites, you will understand why.

The ultimate authority in diabetes research is Dr. Neal Barnard. He has written a book about that research which includes recipes. His homebase website is www.pcrm.org. There is a huge section in there about diabetes. I also recommend you look at his vegetarian starter kit. It gives you great ideas on how to move to a more plant based diet. Dr. Barnard's research showed that fat is the culprit in type 2 diabetes. It globs up the insulin lock so that the cell is not able to use glucose from the bloodstream for it's energy. His patients were NOT carb restricted, although what they did eat was complex carbs...meaning LOTS of fiber. Fiber slows the rate at which sugars are absorbed, avoiding insulin spikes which is what causes so much damage in the body.

He also has a website where you can sign up for a recipe of the week. They are vegan recipes and they are delicious. www.cancerproject.org. Another great website for wonderful vegetarian and vegan recipes is www.vegetariantimes.com. Lastly, for now, another website for recipes is www.eatingwell.com. Put diabetes in the search engine and you'll get to a special recipe section.

Read the vegetarian starter kit. It will help to explain that these dietary changes will be more lasting if they are made gradually. Your new habits will evolve over time.

I have tons of great info that I get from a series of wellness classes I am taking, taught by a Naturopath who has her PhD in Nutriton. I would be honored to help you and your family learn how to optimize your health through a plant based diet. Your hubby will need to learn to eat veggies, as these have the nutrients that will help him to protect his body from his disease...AND lose the weight necessary so that type 2 diabetes is not even a problem. Feel free to contact me and I can share my number with you. We can do so much without even changing your diet drastically at first. Pretty soon we'll have him craving those veggies...because his body will tell him that's what it needs.

I too would buy additional life insurance in order to get his attention. Diabetes is a dibilitating disease, mostly because it doesn't have to be.
Good luck, I will say my prayers. D.

Wait-is he the preschooler? Or the one that wants to be 50 next year?

You can't make him want to take care of himself. Only he can make the decision to get things working toward better health. Part of him taking responsibility should be making an appointment with his physician to get a menu/exercise plan.

As far as what you can do on your end; check out the local library for cook books geared for diabetes. Or hop on the internet and google something like healthy diabetic cooking and get some ideas.

Unfortunately, you can't badger him, that will only make him dig in worse. My guess is he's feeling overwhelmed. Maybe find some articles about how beneficial it is to lose just 10 lbs. or 10% of your weight (I heard Dr. Oz on the radio talking about this). That might make him feel like it's not a HUGE battle to be won. Do you, as a family, do active things? That might help if he isn't a "gym rat" kind of person not to mention you will be peer pressure for each other. I would invest in or look online for a few cookbooks/recipes for diabetic and low sodium dishes. Find some he likes. My kids won't eat veggies - I buy organic baby food purees of spinach, etc. or make my own and mix them into our foods without them noticing (look up the Sneaky Chef for ideas). The #1 thing I would do in your shoes is make him a Dr. appointment for a physical and go with him so you can ask questions, talk to the Dr. Lastly, maybe reading this will convince him, my mom dropped dead of a heart ____@____.com had refused to take care of herself for years. She didn't get to meet 4 of her 6 grandchildren. She isn't here for me now that I am a mom and need her. She didn't get to retire. She didn't get to enjoy life. Worst of all, we miss her so much. My husband and I are both overweight and struggle to eat right and workout but we do it b/c we know how important it is. I hope he listens. Good luck.

Usually, it is easiest to make small changes at first. You might check out the book South Beach Diet. It was written by a heart doctor, for his patients. It will give you ideas on what to feed him. Will he exercise? There is a program called T-Tapp which is a short execise video that takes about15 minutes a day. It works specifically to reduce blood pressue and also helps with diabetes. I use it (it also helps with inches, and overall health) to help my structural strength. A friend of mine has been doing it for 3 weeks now. Her blood pressure numbers have come down 20 points on both numbers. Amazing, really. I am sold on it, and it isn't hard to do. It is not highly aerobic, just gentle exercises. You can google T-Tapp for more info. (It is named after the lady who developed the method, Theresa Tapp. My husband does this program also (he comes and goes with it), and when he is doing it, it helps him tremendously. He has serious back issues. HTH

first thing mak sure he takes his medicine, second for the dabetes make sure he drinks alot of water and sugar free juices. try to cut out the sodas but if he is a soda drinker diet, sugar free or caffine free but if he does goodallow him to splurge every nowan then. Now the high blood pressure cut out as much salt asyou can, instead of salt, use season salt or mrs. dash and if you ct the onions, peppers or veggies up real small ad put them in your dish he may never know depening on wha you are making. THere are alot of cook books for diabetics jst google receipes. I pray this helps you and I pray that he does start focusng on his health

Hello!
My name is T. Peck, I am an Independent Team Beachbody Coach. I joined this organization for many of the same reasons. I have family in the same situation as your husband. Best advise I have is to checkout my website and see what you think. There is an exercise program specifically designed for individuals with Type 2 diabetes that is endorsed but the American Diabetes Association. The program comes with a nutrition guide and me as your motivational coach! I personally am on Shakeology and absolutely love it. For someone who doesn't like to eat veggies this would be a great supplement so he won't have to eat as many! Check it out and you be the judge. I am available if you have any questions! www.myfitnessrules.com
Best of Luck,
T.

LF,
I think Susan (SH) hit it best on the head. He's very aware of his mortality. I recommend you go with him to a support group or even a counselor who can help him through his diagnosis. Right now you are in a very co-dependent place that is unhealthy for your marriage and long-term health for the relationships of everyone in your family. Ultimately he needs to be responsible for his own health. You can't make him be responsible. I recommend you read the book "Codependent No More." If you can't get him to go to a support group or counseling, you can set a good example to your son and husband by only ordering healthy, diabetic friendly choices for both you and your son.
Good luck and God bless,
J.

I'm sure you've already stressed this is a life or death matter, so eating fruits and veggies is really not an option. If he still insists on acting like your toddler, then get a good juicer, food processor and blender, and puree his veggies and add to dishes like spaghetti, lasagne, and rattatouille. (Shop at Trader Joes or Whole Foods to find replacement pastas for diabetics. I can't remember if it's gluten free or rice pasta that would be appropriate, but if you research the sites the other ladies recommended, there should be some information.) Of course, soups are always a great way of burying veggies. Replace regular cheese with Veggie Soy cheese, and he probably won't notice. Look for low-fat items. Replace salt with liquid Braggs and Mrs. Dash spices. Season meats with onions and peppers, and make them available. Eventually, when he's hungry enough, he'll eat them. Learn to make fresh juices using any fruits, but adding a few carrots. There are also smoothies, which taste like yummy fruit shakes.... Replace ice cream with Italian icees, and look at the type of bread you're buying. I think it's Arnold's that bakes a bread without preservatives. Make subtle changes, and eventually he won't realize the difference. If he still insists on binging on pizza, hoagies, and fried goods when you're not looking, try to rely on his need to be a good dad and set a good example for your baby.

The best thing is not to nag him it won't help he will just tune you out. Search the web for recipes that are a ton and start cooking them. Switch out white bread for whole wheat or the one by Sara Lee that is whole wheat but white. Switch to Splenda for sugar.

Check his feet so that if there is a problem you catch it early.

Above all spend some quality time with him and enjoy each other. You can only do what is in your power the rest is up to him.

Good luck to you.

The other S.

you need to only buy whole grain or 100% whole wheat carbs. table salt needs to go, as well as anything that has high fructose corn syrup. he needs mre fiber and less sugar and sodium pronto. These would be good focuses.

Instead of salt try braggs liquid aminos, sodium free ms dash, spike seasoning, even a celtic sea salt in a grinder would be better. Stock up on hot sauces and herbs and spices to experiment with.

Instead of sugar or corn syrup try stevia, date sugar, honey, agave nectar and grade b maple syrup to sweeten things.

I reccommend sweetening drinks/snacks/yogurt with stevia and cooking with agave nectar.

hes reached the ripe old of age of fifty with health problems..ask him has he priced the cost of funerals lately. the dying part may not bother him but what if his son is the one who finds him when drops dead from a heart attack. even sit with a dead guy, waiting for the emts? i have, its no fun
K. h.