How to Help 3Yr Old Get over the Fear of Water

Updated on May 07, 2008
W.C. asks from San Antonio, TX
13 answers

My 3yr old daughter has resently desided that she is scared of the water. She loves to play in the water as long as it doesn't come past her waist. Last year we had no problems. She would jump in all by herself then swim back to the edge. Now she won't do anything unless she is holding our hands. She doesn't want to let her head go under. Any ideas?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone. It is very nessessary that DD feels comfortable around water. We are always near some kind of water. We dropped it for a while and let it be her idea. She is jumping in on her own and even swimming underwater again. She has definatly reached her potential as a 3yr old (much more daring then I'm normally comfortable with). Thanks again for you ideas.

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C.A.

answers from Houston on

Have you thought of swimming lessons? The teachers are probably use to kids that are nervous about the water, and I would think they have ways to help children overcome... Other than that, I wouldn't push it... if she is scared, then let her play on the side with toys or something.. she'll come around.

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

My daughter went through the exact same thing. She was afraid of the bathtub and would scream like she was getting burned every time we tried to bathe her. She was like a cat and would try to grab anything with her hands and feet trying to stay out of the water. As she got a little older and could verbalize, she told us she was afraid of the water because she had seen a bath toy being bounced around in the drain while the water was running. Some kids are afraid they will go down the drain. It is a phase and she will grow out of it. In a way it is a blessing as you don't want her getting into water without you and drowning. There isn't really any reason she needs to get in water over her waist, find a pool that has a shallow end and let her play. Also let her play in the tub. This too will pass. Good luck.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I would always put my head under the water. Then ask them to try. Each time we were in the water, I would encourage them to put their head under water quickly. After several encouragements, I would explain that I wanted them to experience this and that if they weren't going to do it on their own...I was going to do it for them quickly one time only. Usually, I would have to. I would hold their nose, tell them to close their mouth, and then I would quickly pull them under. They would cry. Then I would leave it alone for a while. The next time, I would bribe/reward them somehow if they did it on their own. Usually, they would put their face in(not hair). But, I would reward that. I would always give them step by step ways to make sure they don't breath in the water, which is what scares them. They've slowly gotten better with the water. She's at an age that things all of a sudden scare them. It's normal. Just keep encouraging and teaching her. You might show her a video (or pictures) of herself before in the water if you have one. It's important to teach them to overcome their fears. It is also important, while doing so, that you reassure them that they are safe. My daughter didn't trust her lifejacket. I tried it the slow, comfortable way forever. She would always scream. That is really bad, since panicking in the water is the most dangerous thing. So, I had to do it the old fashioned way, and throw her in with her life vest on. (after I showed her calmly that the vest pops her up). Then I demanded that she calm down or I would not hold her (which is what she wanted). She eventually calmed down, then I could teach her to lay back and hold her head face up. Then eventually I could turn her over and she could turn herself face up on her own, etc. But, it took a good amount of teaching her the hard, "traumatic" way. I didn't like doing it, but I know how dangerous panic is on the water, and we go skiing in a boat. I needed to make sure she would not panic if anything happened. The need to overcome that fear is more important than her comfort level. That's my opinion. You could always try swimming lessons. My friend's son would always be scared with her, but would do anything the instructor told him to. He obviously felt the instructor was safer. But, it worked.

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

one of my son's was the same way .I tryed red cross swimming lessons that did'nt work .So i ended up finding someone who gave private lessons .He learned to swim and loves to ski and tube behind the boat.
L. TX

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R.B.

answers from College Station on

My daughter (now 3 1/2) did the same thing the last two summers. It took her about a month, maybe a little longer, to be ready to get fully into the big pool and decide that it is fun. Before that, she had lots of fun in the baby pool and playing with toys on the steps of the big pool. Rest assured that it is likely a phase, and just try to go to the pool as often as you can to help her get used to being in the water.

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O.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi W. , If I understood correctly , your saying that your daughter already knows how to swim . So if thats the case maybe my suggestion may not work for you, any way here is my suggestion anyway. I taught my sister's daughter and her son how to swim and also my grandsons . The way that I stared out was ,I would sit my sisters daughter on the stairs of the pool where the water was about three feet deep and I would let her see me swim or showed her how to float and how to doggy paddle for a while ,then I would teach her how to doggy paddle and how to float on her back just in case she would get tired that was one way to stay afloat, then I would tell her to stand up and I would stand in front of her and I asked her if she loved me and she would say yes , then I asked her if she believed that I loved her and she said yes ,then I would extend my arms out to her and tell her , that I loved her with all my heart and that I wouldn't let any thing bad happen to her , and if she believe me and she would say yes , then I told her to extend her arms out towards me ,I would grab her little hands and say to her remember I love you ,so then she would let go and come to me and I would walk in the shallow water with her paddling her feet's until she was confident and after I gain her trust in me always being there she got more and more confident in herself that before you knew it she was swimming on her own ,and now I have to say that she is a better swimmer than I am . You might try to gain your daughter trust that you wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. Not to imply that your daughter doesn't have confidence of your love for her but,maybe she just need reassuring her of your love for her and she knowing that you will be there in case something would happen you would save her,this method worked for me and my niece's and even my grandchildren , maybe you could try something like that , so she won't be afraid of the water. I wish you luck and hope that your daughter enjoys the water as much as you do. I also would like to wish you a early Happy Mothers Day .......God Bless you and your family always.....

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N.H.

answers from Houston on

Both my boys went through this exact thing. With my oldest, he finally decided to start "not being afraid" when he was 5. I would take him to the pool and all of this friends were swimming in the deeper part of the pool. I told him he had a choice...he could swim with his baby brother or with his friends. He chose his friend. With my youngest, he told me when he was three that when he turned 5 he would learn to swim. On his 5th birthday, I kid you not, he told me he wanted to take swim lessons because it was time to learn. I think the biggest thing is not to preasure them but really enforce safety around the water. She'll eventually come around on her own time.

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L.A.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree with Heather. I really don't see a reason to be in water over the waist for a 3 year old.

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S.T.

answers from San Antonio on

just practice putting her face in the water first. Blowing bubbles and making silly faces. Go very very slowly with pushing her. Also other than blowing bubbles, toddlers love partially submerging a wacky noodle and then blowing in one end to create a fountain out of the other. You usually have to be in over your waist to do it right. Does she say she doesn't want to go in? Are you at a busy, loud pool? Maybe try a different time of day? Maybe start in the hot tub... good luck

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S.G.

answers from San Antonio on

my daughter was exactly the same way at that age....now she's like a fish! she takes lessons at "love to swim"--it's like the gymboree of swimming-love it!

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R.L.

answers from Houston on

I wouldn't stress about it I am sure it is a phase. 3 is a little young to be pushing the issue, but there are baby swim lessons available. At the same time if she really does not want to get in the water, it may be a waste of money.

I am sure she will grow out of it, I know my son did.

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J.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Actually, I believe it is quite normal. My son went through the same thing too. Just keep exposing her to the water and do what she is comfortable with. She gradually get back into it.

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E.K.

answers from Austin on

Emler Swim School at ###-###-#### www.iswimemler.com -- my 2 1/2 yr old currently takes lessons there and my 10 and 6 yr olds have as well -- max. 4 in a class -- instructors are very well trained -- they are patient -- i think the instruction there is better than some private lessons my oldest son had -- call them!

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