How Many Injuries Are the Average for the Day?

Updated on December 20, 2006
Y.M. asks from Salem, OR
10 answers

Since it's been cold and snowy, pre-school has been closed, and we've had a long holiday week... the kids have become very accident prone. I'm really having emotional trauma over this. I can't take one more injury and the anxiety associated with falling bodies all around me.

Here's just a few over the past 2-3 days:

- my 16 month old bashed her face twice on the window sill while looking at the snow. She cried really loud for a long time and has a double shiner. It happened because she was sitting on top of the foot stool (which has no sharp corners - it's fluffy puffy). I thought it was a safe place to sit and look at the snow and it's frequently used to sit on, lay on, and slide off of. But, now it's a death trap. Parental supervision: I was right there next to her both times. Seems like I'm no good. Seems like the only reason why I'm here is to give hugs and kisses when owies occur.

-She's also been climbing ontop of the kitchen table every other second. I spend so much time, taking her back down and saying, "NO", but she just doesn't get it. She's sneaky dangerous. I've often put the chairs up, but don't want to do that anymore. My neighbor has never baby proofed her house and never put her chairs up for her baby (around the same age) and the little guy just learns not to do certain things. Because she takes the time to tell him No No No until it's not an interest anymore. But, this is rediculous! I can't fold laundry, I can't cook, I can't go potty... without her climbing on the table and nearly falling to her death. I just keep taking her down and telling her No. She fell off the chair the other day onto her bottom without a head bash... thank God.

-then theres the toy train table. She insists on climbing on top, getting her feet caught up in the tracks, tripping off the table, biting her lip and tongue. How many times must this happen?

-My 3 1/2 year old has 3 bruises across his forhead. One from climbing from the toilet to the bathroom sink, to reach up and turn the light on. When there's a light switch on the wall for the other bathroom light. He slipped off the sink to the floor cracking his head on the tub. Where was I? Probably consoling Lilly from an injury of hers.

- His second injury was from tripping over a car in his room and falling into his train table bashing his temple, hurting his toe, and leg. Now, he was crying for a long time again.

-His third bruise is from trying to climb on the table with the baby, bumbling around next to her and falling to the ground, just as I was coming to them to tell them, No No No, No climbing. I'm having a nervous breakdown over all of this.

Not to mention the times that they have slipped on the floor, tripped and hurt legs, run around the house giggling and bashed heads, snuggled me and and ended up bashing faces cracking teeth and lips.

All I'm doing is just yo yo -ing back and forth between the two from one injury to next, giving warnings, and consoling crying from one episode to the next.

What I've tried to do... thinking they are bored... is coloring, painting, making cookies, play dough, movies, playing with them, taking out Christmas decorations, playing in the snow outside... etc. I'm trying to keep them from being bored, but still I have Thing One and Thing Two running a muck.

I've also been telling them, "You don't have to get hurt for Mommy's kisses." "You are not allowed to get hurt and cry anymore". And I kiss them all the time when they are calm and happy. I hug them a lot too and say, "You can get hugs when you are not hurting or being dangerous."

Oh, ya, then inbetween all of these "accidental" injuries, there's the fussing, hitting, and fighting ones that are done to each other on purpose. The last thing we need is for baby to get hurt accidentally, walk over to brother, and get pushed down. I'm trying to be present and intervene. But, like I said, "I seem like I'm no good for anything. Just to be there to give hugs and kisses over each injury."

A mother's heart just can't take the violence in our world anymore. I thought this house was baby proofed, cushy, and safe, but it's a death trap.

Any suggestions? What's normal? How often do your kids cry and cry and cry over injury. I can't take the crying anymore. It's just breaking my heart. Seems like they are just throwing their bodies around to be destroyed for lovins. But, I give them lots of attention and love when that's not happening. And I don't always kiss their owies either, sometimes I set back and just say, "rub it, rub the owey out."

What to do?

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So What Happened?

Well, let's see... what has happened now? We were finally able to get out of the house, which isn't always an option. But, yesterday it was. Hunter went to pre-school in the morning and then we went to the library for story time and discovery room. Both children were perfectly worn out for a 3 hour nap time in the afternoon. My husband came home early for work and even helped me cook the spagetti dinner. No body was crying almost all day. And with even more of my hubby's help, I was able to get out of the house on my own for 2 hours that evening to see some friends and have adult conversation. Gee, I wish all of the days went like that. A perfect schedule and a perfect day. And I didn't even have to be overly willful or controling about it. It just flowed.

I will remember the peace of days like that when the chaos hits the fan... just to calm down my bleeding heart over their bleeding owies.

Thank you all for the advice and the reassurance.

More Answers

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V.D.

answers from Seattle on

let me start by saying, you are not useless in all of this. kids are naturally accident prone because they just aren't careful. being careful to not get hurt does not even cross their minds at that age. its normal to get a lot of owies, and no matter how well a home is baby proofed, there is always a place for injuries to happen. the crying is normal as well, my 2 1/2 year old son will cry for like 10 minutes because he bumped his shoulder (very lightly) on the doorway. kids are dramatic at this age, and even if it does really hurt or if it doesn't, they will almost always make more out of it then it is. when my son was just a baby, i made the choice to never freak out about him getting hurt, and it really has made a huge difference, i have seen him take some blows that would make a grown man curl up and cry, and he will get up and walk away. right now, he's just going through a dramatic stage. also think that the kids may be feeding off of each others reaction to injuries. they see how much attention the other gets for getting hurt, so when they get hurt, they might over react. its possible that they could be bored if they are used to daycare, and having a bunch of kids around, and more then one adult to keep an eye on them, not to mention, daycares are set up as one big room for each age, so its easy to keep the kids in site. you could try to keep them in the room with you by putting up baby gates, or keep them busy by letting them help you clean and cook and whatnot. obviously they are too young to really cook, but the older one can get things you need from the fridge and the younger one could help mix stuff for example. if the baby seems to get hurt a lot when you leave the room to go to the bathroom or whatever, take her with you. these are just some suggestions for things that have worked for me and people i know, hopefully this will help.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Y., You are such a caring mother and that is good. But you worry way too much. I'm an observer too, and a grandma, and let me tell you from experience that we observers have to learn to stop looking and analyzing everything and just let life be most of the time. Especially with little ones. They will be OK. It is normal and OK to have bumps and bruises. You are working way too hard.

What I recommend for you is time away from the kids and more mommy time. Find a babysitter and get out among adults. Get some perspective on life. Be reassured that your kids are normal tho they are more rambunctious than the neighbor's kids. And you are right: they do explore more because you encourage that. It is good to explore even when we get "bruises" as a result.

I think one reason grandma's have more fun is that we've learned how to let go of all the worry and mostly just enjoy our grandchildren. It helps that we don't have the responsibilities that parents have but we've also seen our kids live thru the accidents and turn out OK.

I wish you the best in your very difficult job as mommy. M.

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J.D.

answers from Spokane on

Ah, the joys of children on snow days. My son is also accident prone, no matter where he is....at 22 months he was running at school, tripped over an adults foot and turned around and landed on the corner of the changing table. 2 stitches inside 11 outside....same week, he went back to daycare, opened up the stitches, got a heck of a shinner on the other side and we were done. 2 1/2 split his eye lid falling down a wet slide. 5 he was bit by a dog and almost lost an eye...what did all of these injuries have in common?? He was supervised. The baby (who is now almost 3) Has issues with keeping her balance no matter what...and she climbs on EVERYTHING.

With your daughter, i would suggest you take her to the hospital as soon as you can. Her first two injuries MAY be causing the last few injuries, she may have a slight cuncsion. Other then that, not much help anyone can give, kids are kids, they are VERY flexable and their bones are still cartalage for a reason....to avoid further injury they will cause themselves....

For you....just take a break when you can. If you need indoor activites, buy LOTS of paint and make a book. Make snow men with paper, cut out snowflakes and just keep them on the floor....

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H.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

Y.,
I think we may have the same children. I agree with the other comment, no harm in getting your daughter checked out. I hae found that for my kidson "indoor" weks, we try things like kids exercise tapes or DVD's (mine are 1 and 3 years by the way) We bought a trampoline and we use that to get out enregy too. My kids are not so good at the sitting and doing things at all they are much more active, if you can get out and play in the snow go for it, take out balls and other toys they like to play with when it's warm out side, Don't let them just "look" at the snow, make um run in it, and work out all that squirmyness. Then bring them inside and let them warm up in the bath tub, that can be good for atleast a half hour of play time. My nieghbors laugh cause when it rains my kids are always out in it playing sports and acting like theres nothing different.

Most of all your doing fine. I know what it's like to have two in two directions and have injuries to many to count. I"m sure you are doing just fine by them. Some times just physically wearing them out so you can all sit and watch a movie together is a gerat day. Keeps you active too.

Good luck,
H.

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D.N.

answers from Medford on

Some kids are real mellow like your neighbor's child and others are real active like your children and my 1-year old son. My house is bare and there are gates everywhere yet my son still finds things to get into. Do you have a playpen? That works great when you need to do laundry,etc. Also, it sounds like you're just going to have to put things away until your youngest children understand better - like the train table, put it away or put it somewhere they can't get to it. The table chairs - keep them away from the table, put them away unless they are being used for a meal. Use gates where possible and make certain parts of the house off-limits to them. I know these things are very inconvenient, but sometimes it is neccessary. And of course I say all this not knowing what sort of chid-proofing you already have in place. My house was difficult to childproof because it so open requiring very long gates, but we did it (made our own to save money) because like you I have better things to do all day than hover my child constantly telling him no. Plus I've read it's important to have a place for your child to play where they don't hear no all the time. I hope this helps and I am interested in hearing how you are doing with it. Good luck.
D.

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J.P.

answers from Portland on

Well, let me start by saying, "HA HA HA!" It sounds like you're a terrific mom, and I wouldn't worry about it (even though it's pointless to say that, because you will). Anyway, they're going to get bruises until they stop being children. Until then, the best you can do is take as much preventative caution as possible, and even then, they aren't going to get out without some scrapes and bruises! But like I said, it sounds like you're doing a wonderful job, and even more so because your threats haven't kept them from the kitchen table (which used to be the favorite freak-mom-out spot of my own daughter, now 21 months). The point is that you're giving them plenty of room to grow, and they know that they are unconditionally loved... all of which you seem to be doing just fine. So even though it may seem that you're only there to comfort them, you're really also giving them that confidence to explore the world on their own terms, and take what bruises may come. Good job!

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J.O.

answers from San Diego on

Awww, poor mama! Sounds like you have your hands full! Now that I am done pointing out the obvious, I'll dispense the advice hahaha. I have four, and my "baby" is five (and still gets bumps and bruises) but it did get better as they got older and their hand-eye coordination developed. It seemed that I bought more band-aids than I did fruit juice boxes back when they were toddlers, and kissed more ouchies in a day than I did my own husband in a week. My middle two were climbers, my oldest was into "creative problem solving" if Mom wasn't RIGHT THERE to turn off a light or open a cupboard, and she would try to construct something to get to the object so desired. This was back when I had a four year old, a two and a half year old, a fifteen month old and a newborn (YES I am certifiable!)I took a page from my friend, and bought three kiddie sized stool-steps, the kind that kids use in the bathroom to reach the sink easier. I told them over and over that if they couldn't reach it using the stool then it was too high, and Mommy would get it. They used it primarily to stand next to the kitchen table to do their projects, even though there were several servicable chairs available, and for whatever reason, that did the trick. The climbing didn't just stop, but I noticed a marked decrease in accidents. They liked being able to use the stools to "be bigger" and anything they couldn't have I put really high, and everything in their reach, with the aid of their stools, was fair game. That and baby gates was what worked best for me! And let me tell you, I thought that I was going to get reported to social services back when they were toddlers because they looked like they got beat reguarly with all the bumps, bruises, scrapes, scratches, even a cut lip or two (or three or more) between the four of them... But it really did taper off as they grew older. and so did the crying from their many "life-threatning" injuries... or at least they shrieked as if they were life-threatning... Oh, the joys of parenting no one tells you about til you're knee deep!! hahaha but I wouldn't trade a day of it for anything. Take care, you are clearly doing a great job. It's tough but hang in there!

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M.S.

answers from Honolulu on

my 2.5 year old son normally comes to me crying about 10-12 times a day, if not more (this is a good day). Today he knocked over his Little Tykes Chalk Board and gave himself a black eye. He has bruises all over his legs from falling over stuff.

My 9 month old gets into everything and I try to keep him out of it but its hopeless. He gets most of his bruises and marks from his brother (sibling rivalry, i guess).

Ouchies and accidents are a part of childhood, it's just something that we need to get used to. Our kids are alot more resiliant than we give them credit for sometimes. Good luck with the little ones.

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B.D.

answers from Portland on

This is my world. I no longer panic. I let them climb. I also let them get hurt but only just a little. Make the house as safe as you can within reason. No I repeat no padded walls, this is your house not my vacation spot.LOL sorry couldn't help it. All kids will get owies and it's ok you are not bad at protecting they are quite simply kids and they can't help it. They will learn from the owies even if it takes several rounds to figure it out. Use mom's magic kisses whenever you can't stop it before it happens. Yes it's scary but hang in there you will soon have a long period of no casualty time. Hope this sets you a little more at ease. B.

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N.J.

answers from Seattle on

? Kids get hurt. It is important to be consistant with your punishments every time a rule is broken, and saying "no no" just doesn't seem like it is cutting it. Have you tried a 'naughty chair'? A 16 month old is old enough for time outs and consequences. We use a combination of warnings, explaining, time-outs, and spankings. Climbing hasn't really been a problem for us. When my 2.5 year old learned how to climb onto chairs he used to get stuck. :) He knew how to get up, but was afraid to get down. Pretty funny.

My 2.5 year old did go through a stage of pushing and hitting his brother, but we got that under wraps pretty quickly using the above methods.

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