How Can I Get My Son to Pay Attention to Learn New Stuff?

Talk to him all the time.
Sit with him, hold him, talk to him.
Have him evaluated by the doctor.
Watch educational kids shows with him.
Call the speech therapist again. You don't give up after one call. Keep calling back until you get someone on the phone.
Hang in there. Remember you are his advocate. You speak for him, you stand up for him so you get him the help he may need. Never give up.

Take him to the library for reading time and to the park so he's around other kids.

i think your expectation of your toddler are a little out of whack. you don't 'teach' a child to speak. it's not something kids learn from lessons. you talk to him, and he talks back as he picks it up, in his own time frame.

learning new stuff happens organically, and happens best when it's fun and lighthearted. sitting and trying to teach a not-yet two year old to count will be frustrating for all parties.

that being said, if your mama instincts are really telling you there's an issue, follow up. sorry, i don't have a lot of sympathy for 'i didn't get a call back.' being your child's advocate requires more follow-through than that.

but between this and your other question, i think you're a little out of step with basic child development milestones. it would probably behoove you to take a deep breath and focus more on enjoying your little boy and trying to worry a bit less.
khairete
S.

Kids have their own timelines. Guidelines for development are helpful tools to detect when a child has a true problem that intervention services can help with, but they are just guidelines. He's not even two years old yet, so he's not supposed to be able to concentrate. That will come years from now. Maybe some books on children's development will help you to better set expectations and ease your mind? I liked the "Touchpoints" series by Dr. Brazelton.

We had concerns about speech delays with my 2nd son. Like your son, he had some receptive language skills, which means that he could understand what people told him and could follow a simple direction. That's a great sign. He didn't have much expressive language though, which is the ability to talk. My pediatrician's guideline was that he should know 10 words by his 2nd birthday. He learned his 10th word a few days before he turned two, so we didn't do early intervention but I did have his hearing checked just in case that was a problem (he had had a lot of ear infections). Anyway...he was a pretty limited talker up until age 3.5 and then it was like he had a word explosion overnight. One day he was talking in some garbled words here and there, the next he was speaking clearly in full thoughts and sentences. He's 14 now and hasn't stopped talking since LOL. Gets in trouble at school for non-stop chatter. And his academic aptitude is above average, especially in language. My youngest son followed the same pattern of very limited words until around age 3.5, then full sentences.

For what it's worth, my only early talker in terms of having a good number of words at a young age was my oldest son, and he's the only one of my kids with diagnosed learning disabilities. Language development at this age is not related to whether or not they will have learning problems later.

If you got a referral to speech therapy, then call again, or call someone else, until you get a call back and make a screening appointment. There's no reason to be stressed out about this because someone missed a call from you...call again, make an appointment, and let them assess your son and give you the info that you need. Good luck!

So you called once, they didn't call back and you just left it at that? Come on Mama you have to be your son's advocate and stop at nothing to get him the help he needs.

At this point he needs to be evaluated by the birth to 3 program in your area and set up for services. Call today. If they don't call back call again tomorrow and the next day. Seriously you know there's an issue that you need help with. Be persistent and get that help.

And while you are at it stop being hurt that he might be a slow learner. Pity will get him nothing. Every child learns at their own pace. Your job is to see your child's strong points and work on using those to help the weak points.

Call the speech therapy people again. Just because you don't get a call back doesn't mean you have to stop trying. I know it's frustrating but sometimes you have to advocate a little harder.

Don't teach a 22 month old to count. Don't try to teach him anything. Read to him and see if he can point to things now and then, but make it fun and not an academic drill. Play CDs in the car with sing-along songs, and you sing (so he sees you're having fun) but don't demand that he sing. Put on an occasional DVD with rhymes or songs, and sing along. Don't force him though.

Don't try to make him speak. That turns it into a battle of wills. You say he doesn't even try - but he's little and you're trying to force him instead of making things more play-based. You're assuming he's lazy or stubborn but you don't even have an evaluation yet, so why make assumptions? He's picking up on your anger and frustration, and that's not good.

About other children - most kids don't play with others at this age anyway. They just do parallel play. If he's repelled by noise or by touching, that's something else again and you can talk to early intervention people about it. I think it would be best if professionals (who are neutral) evaluated your son to give you better perspective.

Some kids are just late talkers.
I think it’s good that you are on top of it, and I think it’s a great suggestion that you get a book like What to Expect the Toddler Years. It’s a good reference to have at home.
Also, our local school district does free speech, physical and occupational screenings three times per year (even in summer).
The child doesn’t have to be IN school to be evaluated, just in the district. Try your local school district.
Since he is not around other children, is there a playgroup you can join. Usually the local library has toddler playgroups.

Stop trying so hard, and simply interact with him.

Get down on his eye level, make eye contact, and speak quietly. Make your sentences to him simple. And don't use multiple commands (don't say "get your shoes on and then put your coat on", but simply "let's get your shoes on" and then when that's done, say "let's get your coat on").

A toddler that is your son's age is full of observations, full of realizing how many things are going on around him, and sometimes he can just be busy taking it all in, rather than trying to form words.

Make sure you're not always trying to teach him. Read a book just because it's fun. It might not be an educational book, it might be a silly book. That's ok. Let your son just hear your voice when you tell him stories and enjoy a cuddle and a story for no particular educational purpose.

And if your instincts tell you that he's delayed in speech, have his hearing tested, ask for a speech evaluation, and don't give up trying.

I just answered your other question about tantrums and then I saw this post. I mentioned in that post that it sounded like he wasn't talking. I see that I am correct about that.

My earlier advice to get the pediatrician to have a speech evaluation done is definitely what you need to do. Once a child is 24 months old, there is a big difference in what is expected than before 24 months. Your little guy needs speech therapy. You don't know how to teach him - they do. What will happen is that you will watch the session and the therapist will give you a "home program" to follow. You do that TWICE A DAY at home every single day of the week. What you do with your child after he works with the speech therapist is how he will learn how to talk. It is very important. You will be very important to his progress.

This is called early intervention. If you wait until he is school aged, it will be so hard for him to catch up with the other children. And his behavior everywhere right now will suffer for it.

Speech problems don't necessarily mean that he is a slow learner. But right now he is stuck in a place he doesn't want to be because he cannot communicate his thoughts and needs. Being around other children is probably very frustrating.

As far as learning is concerned, he learns by playing. He needs big muscle motor development and small, fine muscle development. Ask the doctor for some ideas to help you with this. You can google 21 month old development and play ideas and see what it says. Singing to your child, like the ABC song, is good for him too. Talk to him a lot, like when you are driving around - tell him what you see. "Look at the tree! The tree is very big! See the green leaves! Aren't they pretty!" Let him touch leaves, grass, etc. Tell him the names, over and over. Even if he isn't SAYING the words, he is listening, learning.

Please get him speech therapy. Speech delay doesn't have to mean learning disability. The best thing you can do for him is have early intervention. It will make such a big difference in his life, AND in yours.

He might be a little behind in speech, but he's not yet 2 years old so he's still within the norm or close to it.

Definitely call the speech therapist again. It would be very helpful to have him evaluated so that you have a better idea of what he is doing that you may not realize and so that you know what you can work on. My son was evaluated at about 19 months. He was behind, but there isn't a whole lot a speech therapist can do at that age. She did, however, give me many suggestions, which really helped. It's hard to help him if you just aren't sure what you can do that could really make a difference. That's where a speech therapist can help you.

For now, just keep talking to him. If you're doing laundry, just talk to him about it. Pick up a shirt and say, "This shirt is dark blue, so I'm going to put it in the darks pile. This other shirt is white, so it goes in the lights pile." When we went grocery shopping, I used to talk to them all the time, "Hmm, should we have pork chops for dinner or chicken? Maybe I should pick up some rice, too." It helps. It really does.

I wouldn't try to make him say things very often. Most of what I did was food related. Asking him if he wanted more (while also doing the sign for more - touching your thumbs with your first two fingers and then touching those fingers of your two hands together). We also asked him if he was all done eating (wave both hands like bye bye and say, "all done"). We also asked him if he wanted "out" or "down." Does he want a drink? Say yes or no. Those were good words to work on.

Only work on things when he's in a good mood. If he's tired or hungry or cranky, that's just not the time to work on words. That's the time to just get him what he needs.

Little by little, you will see progress. But don't worry about whether or not he's a slow learner. There are just so many factors that affect speech. The important thing is to stay positive, keep working with him and see a speech therapist for evaluation and extra ideas.

One of ours was a slow talker - but then we had our others, and they all were (comparatively) so I think we jumped the gun on worrying a bit with him anyhow.

So long as he can communicate with you - sounds like he is understanding what you want and telling you what he wants - you're functioning. It will come. Don't stress.

My kids didn't really get it all going until after 2. I didn't worry about it (after the first). I just had fun with them.

If you want to make an appointment with speech therapy, you might have to call more than once. Don't leave it to them.

My kids weren't really aware of other kids at 21 months. They were just as happy to play on their own with toys. They played side by side, not with kids. That's pretty typical for toddlers and kids that age.

I think your expectations are a little high.

Yes, get him evaluated if you are worried. Keep calling and trying to get ahold of them every day. But also keep in mind some kids talk later than others. My friend's son didn't talk much at age 3. He did say some words...he was more lik ea little caveman in the way he talked. He spoke just like the other kids by kindergarten. He's a very smart, normal 14 year old now. My advice to you is to always talk to him...always tell him the names of things...always tell him colors, point out letters, point out numbers. Every night read 3 or more books to him before bed. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT till he is about age 7.

Our son could say a few words but his talking didn't really take off till right after his second birthday - and then it was non stop chatter chatter chatter from morning till night.

2 and 3 yr olds don't really play with other kids.
They do something called parallel playing - they play next to each other but not with each other.
It's normal and they don't need play dates until they are closer to school age.
Parents of toddlers will do play dates mostly for the moms to socialize - the kids could care less.

If his dad was a late talker - it might run in the family - but his dad talks fine now, right? so there's nothing to worry about.
Read to your son, sing songs, etc - they take it all in and will talk eventually.
They don't pick it up from tv or devices.

Your expectations for your son are a little ahead of his age.
"What to Expect the Toddler Years" or some other child development book will help you with what milestones to look for and when.