How Are You Monitoring Your Teens Text Messages?

Updated on December 28, 2011
D.C. asks from Detroit, MI
9 answers

How are you monitoring your teens texts? It's crazy, our parents could hear our conversations, now our teens don't talk on the phone at all, they text and it is more difficult to monitor the convo. If your child has a Metro PCS phone there are no safeguards for parents, how do you handle this?

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies, I appreciate you all taking the time to answer. I was wondering if any of you are using a service through your cell provider to monitor or limit txts or to notify you of inappropriate texts kind of like you can for emails?
Thx ~D.

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answers from Detroit on

My kids all grew up just fine without cell phones...and so did we. If I was that concerned about the situation they simply would not have one. They would learn to respect normal boundries & behavior before moving up to that.

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answers from Detroit on

I also do a phone check, no questions asked! it's important, they know I am doing it because I love them and want them to be responsible young adults. They may not like it, but I'm their mom, not their best friend. Moms gotta do, what a moms gotta do!!!
Good Luck,
L. B

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answers from Dayton on

First off, I completely agree that teenagers phones are YOUR property. And it's your right to be nosey whenever you want to be. We have 13 year old twins (boy/girl) and whenever I want to (day or night) I'll say 'phone check' and whoever I'm talking to hands over their phone. No questions, no 'hold on a min', they hand them over. Before we got them phones, that was a rule that was laid out. There has been one time that my son (not my daugther surprisingly) has hesitated and attempted to get out of handing it over and because he did, he lost his phone for a week. I can't even remember why he was reluctant to hand it over, but I remember it was for nothing. When I do phone checks, I just scroll through and look for anything obscene. They are 13, so I expect to see curse words (which I tell them about) but I'm more interested in sexting or anything threatening or sneaky. In 2 years that they have had phones, we've only had 1 major problem (as far as the messages go) and after that phone check, my son straightened up. I normally do phone check once or twice a week. Sometimes more if I feel like there is something happening and neither one will let us know. Just remember, you pay for the phone, you can look, read, use, and take it away!

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answers from Detroit on

I'm in total agreement with Deanna. Phone check at any given time...they do not say anything they just hand over the phone. Mine are 14 and 16 boy & girl.



answers from Detroit on

I read them. And I've found out things I was shocked by, so although it feels like I'm invading his privacy, he really has to earn the right to it. If he paid for the phone, maybe he could argue that point. He's clever and erases things, I know, but catching it early opened up conversations we never would have started ourselves so I don't regret it. I also insist on being friends with them on MySpace and Facebook. I know his IM isn't available to me, but all in all, they seem to get that nothing is private, really, unless its in their heads.



answers from Grand Rapids on

I also agree with the other comments about the phone check, that is an awesome idea. My niece got her daughter a Virgin Mobile and I believe she can monitor but also control how much. I agree that monitoring facebook and the other sites is also a must. Good luck



answers from Charleston on

I for one think you have some serious problems if you feel like you have to get into that kind of personal space. Keep an open relaxed relationship with your children and you will not have to me so up-tight. If you do that your kids actually tell you what exactly is really going on. You all are really sad, its a no wonder your kids want to go do bed, because they wonder what they can get away with first. Let your child get past it. You will never be able to rule your child, if you force it upon them. The day you need them or the day they get tired of it, will be the last day you get any satisfaction out of being so in-secure in your factious non progressive lives that can't evolve and accept change into peoples lives if that be better or worse. When they get out there and are adults they are going to being what they feel good with & if they feel good with being a hoe then that's what they will do no matter how sheltered their lives were. You can not go this far, this is not how you do things. I will tell you how to raise your children so they're not a bunch of dumb idiots that don't know what is really going on in the world. Have some damn respect for your children's space just like you ask of them! Hell half of you all have freaky sex toys in the bottom of your room drawer so DON'T EVEN GO THERE! You humiliate your child when you do this and you feed of off them like you're the controller when you're really nothing but another face to ME! YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S FRIEND THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE FRIEND! SO BE THAT FRIEND SO YOU CAN GUIDE THEM! IF YOU TREAT YOUR CHILD LIKE A DOG THEN THEY GET NOTHING OUT OF IT! THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT IT SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE YOUR NAME INTO RESENTMENT! YOU DESERVE NO RESPECT IF YOU DON'T RESPECT YOUR CHILD! THAT GOES FOR HIS/HER SPACE, PERSONAL BELONGINGS, my 8th great grand father was Arthur Middleton, 1 of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence & the Bill of Rights. He also stood beside Benjamen Franklin in being a father of what is now know as the Great Seal of America. I carry that legacy with me today. Freedom is everything, rights are everything, respect, loyalty, HONOR! If you wish the same real true from your child you will treat them the way you want them to take you. Fear is not respect, punishment brings nothing at all. You truly don't understand what goes on out there in this new world, you cannot let your child be the 1 to walk down the street and get in the van with a 80 year old pedophile RAPIST! You let you children see truth they will know how things really work! THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN GET TRUTH IS TO FIND IT THEMSELVES!



answers from Detroit on

I don't have teens yets... my oldest is God only knows what form of communication will be popular when he is a teenager... but I am firm believer that you have the right to read any and all text messages. Take the phone at night and shift through... they are not private, emails are not private. If he wants to have private conversation it should not be in writing. If you don't like METRO pCS...swith phone companies.

I am also a believer that sites such as Facebook and Myspace and twitter should be closely monitored by parents.

Good luck!



answers from Detroit on

As a personal finance coach you may be interested in The Future Leaders of the World (FLOW) Project. check us out on face book.
Be Blessed
J. Croel

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