Homeschooling - Buckeye,AZ

Updated on February 08, 2011
W.H. asks from Buckeye, AZ
17 answers

My son all of a sudden is begging for me to home school him. He is 8 1/2 and in 3rd grade. He woke up this morning (Monday) and begged to be home schooled. Sorry kiddo you're still going to school today! After school, all afternoon and at bedtime he kept talking and pleading to be home schooled. I tried to find out if there was anything going on at school, or what the trigger might be, but he doesn't say his reasons, just that he wants to be home schooled.

He actually was cute tonight, he wanted to talk to me about an important matter (of course it was post-bedtime) and was explaining to me all the different ways I could home school him, for example math, I could use the online program that their class uses and it has different sections, ie, guided practice, independent practice, review, problem solving. Writing he said was only every other Friday and Monday (I'm sure it's more than that as it's not his favorite!) Explained the school schedule & how they earned their bonus recess at the end of the week. He certainly has given it a lot of thought and got it all planned out!

My biggest hesitation, although I've always been a fan of homeschooling after seeing my two youngest sisters be homeschooled and my sister now homeschools her 4, is the fact that I am not organized!! I think I may have a touch of ADD as I get sidetracked SOOOOO easily and can't follow through and remember and stick to the task and finish things. My son is not that good at listening to me and doing what I ask, when I ask (I know most kids are I'm sure, but he is extremely frustrating and stubborn) although he was much better than usual today because I told him I couldn't home school him until he was able to do what I ask when I ask.

Anyway just wondered your thoughts about his sudden desire, and whether it is doable with my distraction and poor time management (both of us probably!) We have also been talking about moving him to another school next year, and once he heard that this school required uniforms, he was adamant that he didn't want to go! (Before finding that out, he was cool with the idea)

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answers from Minneapolis on

It really seems like something is going on at school that he doesn't like. I would get to the bottom of it. If you homeschool him just because he asks you to...what is he going to ask for next??

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answers from Colorado Springs on

Of course it is doable. You can do this. Remember, school does not have to be institutionalized in structure or method. We had to deprogram ourselves from the public school mindset. Children actually aren't made to be institutionalized. :) A real-life home environment with one on one instruction is optimal for learning. And, you seem to be aware of your weaknesses. That is so good. It will help you to become more disciplined in these areas. And, homeschooling provides many opportunities for character training with our kids. People tell me that I am so patient. Well, 13 years of homeschooling has worked on my character, too! None of us are born patient and diligent. We learn these things by careful practice, forgiveness, starting again. Don't expect to remain unchanged if you homeschool. And, you will have good days and bad days, just like everyone else. Your relationships will be stronger. You will be the one with the major influence on his life instead of his peers. You will *really* get to know your son. I know it sounds crazy, but I had no idea what all I was missing out on before we homeschooled. I had no idea. Kind of like explaining childbirth to someone who has never had a child. You just can't do it justice with words. Oh, and the love and emotion that comes when you hold your baby for the first time (or 100th). You can't explain it, but it's there. I can say that, while I was so nervous to start homeschooling, I have never regreted a moment of it. And, I could never, ever go back. I wouldn't for anything. It makes me tear up to consider sending my kids away to school. I'd miss out on so much! And so would they. Let us know what you decide!!

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answers from Washington DC on

We homeschool.
Here are my truths.

Homeschool kids take up to a year to understand and get used to mom as teacher and mom as mom.
THe first year you may only get math and reading/grammar done. There may be no science, history, music, art.
You don't have to be that organized.
It's time consuming. It becomes your life.

At 3rd grade, with cousins being homeschooled and seeing their freedoms and attention Auntie showers on them all day of course he wants to stay home with you. All kids want their mom when things arent' going as they want it to at school. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. My mom and dad were public school teachers, so I too asked them daily Why can't you be my teacher??
If you want to homeschool him then weigh your options, do some research. Is it the best thing for your family or are you caving into what he wants. Do you cave in other areas too? Discipline, food, toys ( I'm not trying to be mean, just asking a rhetorical question)

I would not include him in your search for other schools. Make a decision and go from there. So they wear uniforms, what is their education philosophy? He needs to know that just because he whines he isn't getting everything he wants. He also needs to know that YOU are in charge of where he gets his education. He can choose his college.

I homeschool two of mine. We didn't get anything done the first year. The test scores were miserable. But year number two my daughter did much better. THe next year my son started at home, same things with him. His test scores were so so. This year he is doing better.

I am unorganized, lazy, ADHD, extremely distractable, addicted to computer sites(mamasourse), and sometimes I just don't have the energy. BUt we are doing it and making it work. There are so many people who do it better than me.
I took my daughter out for her anxieties and my son because I figured I can do one why not two? Plus in the four years we lived in NC, hubby was deployed for 3 of them.

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answers from Albuquerque on

My son and I are doing a "trial run" this year before he's technically school age. The beginning of the year was very structured and we both loved it. But as the holidays hit and then I became pregnant and morning sickness took over my life, things have gotten a bit more haphazard. I feel guilty about it, but when I feel well enough and we have time, we fit "schoolish activities" into our day. And I have been pleasantly surprised to find that he really looks forward to our schoolish moments and that he is learning despite the interruptions we've had. I wouldn't recommend the schedule we've found ourselves dealing with the past couple of months, and think some structure is good for all, but homeschooling is flexible. And it's a different mindset. I like the comment that called it "deprogramming." You don't have to do school for 8 hours a day. Teachable moments are huge. Going with your child's interests is wonderful! For us, it's a far more relaxed "embrace life" atmosphere filled with a love for learning, and not just out of textbooks. That said, my little man is on the brink of reading! He loves math. He often pulls out his binder (filled with worksheets and fun activities in plastic page protectors) and his dry erase markers and does the activities on his own without prompting! He loves "serendipitous" moments when what we're learning and what we're living intersect: "Mom! We're learning all about the letter D and Dinosaur starts with D!" :)

I'm not sure why your son wants to homeschool and I agree that a little investigation would probably be a good thing. But I, for one, think there are plenty of convincing arguments for homeschooling, especially if the child is interested and the parent is willing. If you do, remember, you can change your mind... though I'd also recommend giving yourselves at least a year commitment so you're not constantly saying to yourself, "Should I send him back to school?" And also, you're the parent. You make the decisions because you are the best informed to make them. You know your family better than anyone. What is best for you, your son, your family?

The other thing I wanted to note was that, just like becoming a parent, homeschooling will stretch, challenge and change you. For the good of your child, you will learn to identify and work on your shortcomings that will negatively affect them, do your best to model good behaviors, stumble, apologize, and keep trying again. It's okay that you're not perfect. And that's a fine message to share with your children. They're not perfect either and you don't expect them to be. Teach them how to live with imperfection, joyfully. :)

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answers from Albuquerque on

I homeschool and if my child asks about going to school, I ask her to clearly outline what appeals to her about school. We discuss the pros and cons of each. We try to get a real picture of both scenarios. You know your son best. Have a serious, ongoing conversation with him to determine what would be best for your family. See if he wants a trial period over spring break or summer. Ask him to commit to at least a year if he wants. Seek out your local resources.

You do not have to make any decisions this week and whatever decision you do make is not permanent.

As a side note, 3rd grade is often when children lose their love of learning in school, if it still remains. If prior to this they had great classroom experiences and lots of hands-on learning, often this is the year they move to worksheets and a strong focus on standardized tests.

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answers from Phoenix on

Well, I think it's fairly obvious that he's been talking to someone about this. His cousins, perhaps, or a neighborhood friend. I don't think it means there's something "deeper" going on at all. I mean, if I had even CONCEIVED of the idea of homeschooling when I was a kid, I would have begged my mom to do it. Daily. What kid wouldn't want to stay home and work less? Because what it takes a teacher with 30 kids to do, YOU can do with your child in a fraction of the time.

I'm interested to see your responses on this, because I plan on homeschooling my 4 and 5 year old starting next year and am nervous about my disorganized, procrastinative (lazy) tendancies. Hopefully, we'll both rise to the occasion. ;-)

I am looking forward to family vacations whenever we want as well as all sorts of fun field trips with the kids.

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answers from Washington DC on

i love that he's done his research!
but homeschooling does not need to be super-organized (online programs are a good option but require a lot of commitment and often money. don't be discouraged if they DON'T work for you. they tend to be touted as the perfect hybrid, and they're not necessarily.) rather than writing on mondays and fridays, try unit studies where you pick one area of fascination and build a limited curriculum around it. for example, if your kid loves goats (or robots or antique sailing ships or astronomy) you can work math into it (how many gallons does one particular breed produce per day? week? how does that compare with other breeds? if you can get this much $, how will that offset the expenses?), history (the role of goats in various cultures, how different breeds came to be developed), social studies (how are goats important to developing countries and emerging economies, what has their impact been on the changing role of family farms in america), writing, field trips, art....the list goes on and on. you can work all of the core curriculum subjects into educationese while you wallow in goats for a month or two, then move onto the next thing.
i do suggest that if you try it, you give a decent chance for success. no one will figure out how to homeschool effectively in a month. if you can't commit to a year, it's probably best to wait until you can.
he may be stubborn and frustrating because he feels powerless and frustrated. giving him a say in what and how he studies may transform him. i've seen it happen so many times.
you don't have to do child-led education, but i hope you give it a shot. homeschooling that is structured to look like school-at-home tends to fail more often than more relaxed models.
no one is more disorganized or distractable than i. your homeschooling will end up designed to fit YOUR family, YOUR kid, and YOUR personality and parenting style. don't compare it to others.
i hope you proceed!
:) khairete


answers from Albuquerque on

Go for it! you'll never regret that you did this for you you or your kids! I've homeschooled for 14 years and absolutely would do it again if given a "do over"! I'm ADD and also a kinesthetic learner and the benefit that this has posed for my children is that I was able to make teaching/learning both fun and exciting for me and my kids. We have 2 graduated and 3 teens left working their way out of school. It has had it challenges. But it is so worth it! check out for more info. They are the homeschool legal defense association and they'll provide you just about everything you need in order to make a well informed decision! Best wishes!



answers from Honolulu on

Check out the website educate freely. All free and super great resources from homeschooling.

Also K12 M. be offered in your area. look into it.

Edit to add: they do have a free k12 in az.



answers from Cleveland on

look into online home schooling



answers from Los Angeles on

Tell him you will try it out during spring break, instead of a break, you will have homeschool, just to see if he likes it - lol, see if he is still interested.
We used time4learning for a while, my son loved it, we also used bob jones and sonlight, both of which are excellent.
I did not like homeschooling, my son loved it. But there came a point when he needed the social aspect, he was a bit introverted.
I was disorganized too, but you don't need to be that organized if you follow a curriculum. Or.. you could go down the unschooling route. perfect for ADD parents lol



answers from Flagstaff on

My daughter came home last year after the first week of school begging me to homeschool her. It took me 2 weeks to figure out that she was being bullied by her teacher, so we moved her to another class and the problem was solved. Please look into the "why" before you jump into this. It may be that he is having difficulty with friends, in which case it is better if he learns how to deal with it. He will need to know how to deal with social situations when he enters the "adult world" anyway.

Also, homeschooling is a huge time commitment on your part. There are both pros and cons for your son as a result of homeschooling. When I studied the sociology of education in college, I was surprised at all the things our kids learn in public school that are not in the curriculum. (For example, how to wait our turn, how to deal with superiors aka your boss in the workplace, and many more.) Although he will get the one-on-one attention from his teacher (you), are you qualified to teach him? Another thing to consider...are there younger siblings at home who will be a distraction to him? Best of luck in your decision. I know this is a tough one, as I have been through it with my kids.

P.S. I like the idea of trying it out over spring break. Also, Mesa Distance Learning has a great online program that is free for anyone living in AZ, and they have qualified teachers to guide your child along the way.



answers from La Crosse on

You can do it...but it takes a huge commitment on both your parts.

Honestly, better find out what is really pushing this because it is obvious that something pretty serious is going on with him. Kids do not just jump on that bandwagon. I would stress that helping him through whatever is really going on is way more important than your question of whether homeschooling is do-able. It is a lot of work and time, and kids many times do not learn as well or easily from a parent than from a teacher or coach.

Good luck!


answers from Rochester on

You need to tell him that you won't consider it unless he's honest about his reasons, and then address those reasons first.

But hey, I homeschool and I love it! I totally support wanting to homeschool...but it does require dedication. However, there's a cheater way to do it (which I'm currently using because of an infant in the house)...check out and see if they have participating schools in your state. It's an online school that provides curriculum, computer, everything...tuition free because it's publicly funded...and they organize everything for you, essentially. You just log on every day, see what books/worksheets/lessons need to be done, and do them. Requires very little planning on your part...just follow through! And with him being a little older, I think it would be easy for you. I personally love the k12 curriculum and would recommend it to anyone.



answers from Philadelphia on

Dear W.H.,
Two questions: Do you love to teach? Do you have the time and money to be able to tutor him until he wants to handle it himself?
Homeschooling - I did this with each of my three children. The first read at 2 yrs. 6 mos. The second at 4 and the thrid a5 5. They knew 1-12 times tables by age 5. The knew their religious prayers by age 5 and were exposed to 5 different languages. All this was good....they were not intimidated in the classroom, but sooner or later, they must deal with their peres.
You are the one that he will look to for socialization, integration of ideas for literature, math applications, science fair participation. If you don't like helping your son in these areas, don't kid yourself or him. Be honest with yourself and he will believe in you no matter what choice you make. But you must believe in yourself that you can do and so can he.
Look for homeschool groups in your area, see if it the right fit. Don't waste time on this one. If he wants to homeschool online, there is no interference with other students who may distract or fool around.
I always pray for discernment in cases like this.



answers from Oklahoma City on

Perhaps you can find some other moms in your area that homeschool and can help be a support system to you. I could not do homeschooling. No way, No HOW! I don't want to, I don't feel the need, I have no interest.

But if something happened where I had to do it I would. I would need that support system for help. I would also see if they might be interested in switching off on some classes. Perhaps you excell in some area and they do better in others. It could be a mutual enhancement to have these other moms by your side.


answers from St. Louis on

Dear Mom,

First of all, it would very good that you find out the reasons why your son wants to be home schooled so badly whether you decide to home school him or not. Your kid may be having a reaction to something or someone that he doesn't like, or being motivated by your sisters, you never know.
You may want to talk to your kid and ask him why he wants to be home schooled, and why he doesn't want to attend school; your conversation should be relaxed and in a very friendly environment, talk to him and you may find something interesting there. Speak and ask him what you need to know, but do not pressure him, that won't help.
On other hand, I think that your distraction or lack of organization may improve as your kid's attention span over time. Do not let these reasons or excuses make the decision for you. Starting home schooling is not an easy task and journey.It will demand a lot of time and patience, for that you will need to take one day at the time and start with the basics (reading, math, grammar,etc...) and from there teach your kid what you want him to learn besides the basics. In home schooling you have the chance to teach your kids more than that and give them the best education. You still can have fun together, go on vacation, take a few days off whenever you want or need it.
Reading at your post, I suggest you that you really find out what is going on with your kid at school. Since he is adamant just with the idea about wearing uniform in another school, he just may be manipulating situations, sorry about that but to make an important decision and take the responsibility to educate your child by your own is a lot. So, if your child tomorrow will be asking you to come back to school because he doesn't like the color of your sweater that day, it won't work . Remember, you are the mom and you make the decisions, if you don't feel OK or able to home school, I suggest you to think more about that. I also had so many questions and doubts when I started to home school my kids, I was scared, however I have clear goals for my children and my children knew, basically the older one, that this would be a commitment among us, but we would take one day at a time and one year at a time.
I have been home schooling my kids for 3 years already, and I can tell I like it, and my kids like it as well. Even when my youngest is almost 5, I have always taught him academically and nurture his learning all the time. we are happy, and they look so content! They learn every minute of their lives, and still they have fun, they do sports and fun activities. they have lots of nice friends..I mean they are "normal" children according to the standards (lol)
Think about it, take your time, do more research, and believe you can do it with your style and with the tools you have as a great mom.
Good luck, if you have more questions, I will be happy to help you ([email protected]

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