Holding, Holding, Holding the Poop

Updated on November 13, 2009
J.H. asks from Ashburn, VA
22 answers

Hey Moms Out There~

I've got a toddler (2 and 1/2) that is holding his poop for days on end. He's been on Miralax (Dr recommended) for almost 2 months now. It has helped a little. Super Toddler is pooping every 3 or 4 days now instead of every 5 or 6. The complaints of "ow-ie poop" have continued no matter how soft the stool is. (We go to the Dr tomorrow to rule out any physical issues). He's getting plenty of fruits and veggies and fiber; a fair amount of liquids in the form of water, juice, and milk. And he's taking "medicine" at every meal........prune juice from a teaspoon-size syringe.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to get him to poop on a (somewhat) daily basis?

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.
Try finding out why he dont like to poop. Then see if you can find a video on why we have to poop. I will be looking for other ideas to help.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,
I'd suggest seeing a chiropractor that specializes in children. This does work.

I have names of a couple in the area if you would like to email me.
L.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.,

I had the same problem with my first son starting at about the same age. He would hold it for days sometimes over a week. I resorted to suppositories and he would hold that......we eventually had to give regular enemas because he got blocked. He then got on the Mirilax and regular does of that seemed to keep things moving, but he still wouldn't go every day. He's now almost 6 and I've just recently weened him off of the Mirilax. I guess the best advice is not to pressure it and don't make a big deal about it. The more attention I gave the situation, the more anxiety he had towards going. Continue with the Mirilax until he's comfortable going and then gradually decrease the dosage so he doesn't get stopped up. I started going to every other day, then decreased the ammount given every other day and then went down to every two or three days, etc. I know it's worrisome but if you're concerned go back to the peditrician.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I would suggest ignoring it. You would be amazed how long a child can hold his/her poop when your noticing. I mean i would slip whatever medication you want in to make it softer or what not but don't talk about it. He will stop after a while. Kids do that just because your talking about it. I've done childcare for 15yrs+ and my mom took in foster kids and I've had my fair share of this. Because he may be holding it because you make a big deal of how it hurts and he thinks it's all ways going to hurt and so he holds it, or he could be holding purely because you keep bringing it up at all. Amazingly enough kids get proud of themselves for holding it, or dealing with the pain that they are very aware you know of.

But my final suggestion is to stop talking about it to and in front of him. Give him his medication but don't talk about why in front of him.

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D.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you tried eliminating cheese? I do know a child who always got bound up if she ate cheese.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

my sister's son had a similar problem. she gave him popcorn everyday. cracklin' oat bran is a tasty cereal that your son might enjoy. both will give him extra fiber in an easy way.

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J.O.

answers from Richmond on

my son did this too. you probably need to up the miralax some. he may need an enema to "get things started" this is not fun! it will take quite a while of soft poop before he won't be afraid. you may need to do this for quite a while! my son (just turned 6) still does miralax 1x per week. the biggest thing is to make this NOT confrontational or show any anger that will reinforce to him that pooping=bad. also, since he is 2 you could try putting him in pullups for a week with lots of juice and miralax and taking the stress away from him. that worked with my son.

good luck....this stinks....you will get through it!

J.

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T.C.

answers from Washington DC on

my advice to you would be to back off. my sister in law has the same problems with her almost 5 year old. i think she pushed her too hard to train before she was ready and they're still suffering from that. her daughter takes miralax and everything.

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E.L.

answers from Washington DC on

What about a poopie present. My son had a phobia of pooping on the potty. So we set out a basket of trinkets from the dollar store in the bathroom, and we had one wrapped surprise present. When he went poopie on the pottie, he got to unwrap the big present. When he 'tried' to go he got the dollar store trinket.
We always had our son try to go around the same time everyday and so he was only able to get one dollar store trinket during the day. But it was an incentive he liked.

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Good Morning J.,

My name is C. and I am a mother of a soon to be 9 year old, a 7 year old and a soon to be 5 month old. A little of mineral oil has helped my children. It made it come right out with ease and they didn't even realize it until they HAD to go. It really worked for my children. Hope this helps!

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W.J.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter had the same problem shortly after she turned two. she was on miralax for a while, i'd say almost 6 months. it seemed as though every time we'd cut back we'd have the problem again. So I just kept her on it. We kept her on it when we started potty training too. Now she is almost 3 and we have been off the miralax for a few months. Now she goes every day without a problem. For a while we were giving her a "treat" for doing poopy on the potty to encourage her to go. (We would just give one m&m or one smartie...which was enough to satisfy her). Once she started going every day regularly we cut back the miralax and she continued to go regularly, knowing she would get a small treat. We just eventually stopped giving her treats and she still goes everyday.

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B.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I had the same problem. She was on medicine for 3 yrs and now at 7 we still have to have her try every night. Maybe try a sticker chart with if he tries each day a prize at the end of the week. We also read lots of books while she was on the potty. If you can bend his legs ie with a stool or your legs then it is harder to hold it in. I push fluids on her still. She takes a 22 oz bottle of water to school everyday plus she tales 3 cups milk, and something with lunch. Just don't give up. They increased her miralax to an adult dose so she would poop each day. I know it can be tough but hang in there!!!!!

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

This is a tough one. Apparently from talking to friends it's pretty common though. My son is 6 and still has issues going since he was potty trained at 2 1/2. He too is on Miralax and has been on it for a while. He also gets lots of fruts and veggies so I don't know why he won't go. I can actually see him holding it which the dr. says makes it worse. His dr. said that just the feeling of having to go to the bathroom is disconcerting to some kids and the longer they hold it in the worse it feels when they do go which of course reinforces the idea of not wanting to go. The Miralax seems to keep him regular. I have noticed though that if he eats a lot of cheese he has a harder time. My friends have told me that this phase does pass but I'm still waiting. Good luck.

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G.F.

answers from Roanoke on

My 3yo does the same thing sometimes. I put preparation H on her bottom a few times, and it seemed to calm her fears of pooping. My daughter was bleeding with every stool, even soft ones, and I put Prep H on her, and she told me that it wasn't OWIE any more! As she was saying this, I was wiping bloody stools from her bottom, so I know it would have been owie if I hadn't put the stuff on her. Also, to loosen things up, instead of an enema, I suggest 'Little Tummies' drops, which gets it moving, but they do cry because of the cramping, or a fun one is Flax Seed cookies (can be found at Kroger,)which are yummy, and get things moving in a few hours. Only use a half or even a fourth of one, though, because the stomach cramps can be quite painful if you eat too much. Both of those get the poop out without the need of an enema. Enemas are torture for my kids and me, so I'll do just about anything else!

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D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi J.-
My son started having bowel movement problems when he started on solids. Initally, we gave him suppositories and enemas. Eventualy, the ped. prescribed Miralax. We did not want him to rely on this to have a movement. We decided to go the more natural method. He is 3.5 now and his juice of choice is watered down prune juice or H2O juice. We make sure he gets lots of liquids which helps. He still holds his poop at times and has really painful movements. He is a little guy, but has movements the size of most adults, so that does not help.
I would suggest trying some natural treatments such as lots of liquids and uping your prune juice dosage (not so much that he has the runs)!

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R.K.

answers from Washington DC on

My son had the same problem for years; however, I gave him senokot to help him go. The specialist at Childrens Hospital told me that was not good because I trained his system to ONLY go when given the medicine which isnt normal. Try honey nut cherrios, works like a charm with or without milk. 2 year old might like that. Be careful, my son was hospitalized and it almost cost him his life.

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S.D.

answers from Richmond on

I have one question. Will he poop if he has a diaper or a pull-up? My 3 1/2 year will poop with ease as long as he has
his "comfort" of a pull-up and he can squat. He has difficulty
when he sits to be able to poop. When he does actually go on the potty I feel like a doula assisting a birth. It is that dramatic and with a 10 month old also in our household it becomes a bit difficult to go through this "ordeal" everyday even a couple times a day to try to get him to poop on the potty. He has only pooped on the potty three times and he seems to only be able to do it under certain conditions and on the small potty with a padded seat. It takes up our whole day sometimes and most times ends without him going at all or he'll just go as soon as he gets a pull-up for bed. So, I started telling him he can have a pull-up only at bed or nap (which he hasn't been taking for over a year and a half at least) and he will now actually agree to take a "nap" just to get a pull-up to poop. Not that he will really nap but at least I can have a few minutes to tend to our other son while my older one is quiet and then we can get on with the day. I know some friends who have used miralax and love it. I haven't gone that road yet. I think that might be our next step. Good luck. It is crazy how much time we end up surrounding the potty in these years. :) At one point I thought he would never even pee in the potty and now that is happening so I just have to be patient and let him do things in his own time. That is the biggest part for me - letting go so he can "let go."

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S.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe a teaspoon of olive oil before bedtime or drinking some papaya juice during the daytime. My mom used to use these when my brother or I were stopped up and it worked like a charm every time! Best of luck to you and your little one.

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S.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, I am not sure if this is going to be of any help, but it might relieve your worries a little. I know I have read different literature that assures that there is really no normal # of days as far as how often a person/child eliminates feces. I understand that on average kids eliminate every so # of days. But every child will be different. I have a 7 year old daughter who is on the autism spectrum. Her diet is very limited (fruits, pasta, and cheerios). Feces elimination/holding has been a concern of mine for 7 years. This girl goes from regular (every 2-3 days) to holding it for up to 5 days, but eventually she eliminates. In this 7 years (thank god) she has had no health issues. She is a pretty healthy girl (knock on wood). I hope your toddler becomes more regular, I also believe you will soon become less worried about this issue. Isn't it amazing how much time all mothers spend worried about poop? Believe me I know I have, but not so much anymore.

good luck!

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K.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi there,
I have a two and a half year old little girl who was doing the same thing. She would hold it and then it would hurt really badly. The pain got so severe that we ended up in the hospital. They told me that she was simply "constipated" and that I should give her some laxative. We tried Benefiber and Miralax twice a day. The pain still persisted. I finally bipassed her pediatrician who also thought she was just constipated and that I was an over-worry-some mother, and went to a pediatric gastroenterologist. There is a wonderful one (not sure where you are located) in Fairfax. Her name is Catherine Chao. We found out that my little one was impacted and had an enlarged colon from holding it. She did a colon cleanout, similar to what an adult has to do before a colonoscopy. It took about a week to clean her out. We are still on a daily Miralax regimine, until she is potty trained. She goes daily (sometimes a few times a day). The anxiety is gone and its not a big deal for her to go anymore. If you need any further information...please contact me! I know how frustrating it is to have a child in pain and for the doctors to tell you that nothing is really wrong with them!! Hope I was helpful! :)
K.

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E.O.

answers from Denver on

I have the same problem with my 2.5 year old. It started shortly after we let her go without a diaper. She learned to hold in her poop ... but I think she couldn't figure out how to release it. Our dr. advised Miralax, and that helped keep it soft. But it was still a dreadful cycle of her holding it for as long as absolutely possible - 3 to 4 days, and getting progressively more uncomfortable, whiny and grumpy -- and then it would all come out when she finally couldn't hold it anymore. We gave her gummy bears as a reward each time, and eventually she got it. We got her the book "Everyone Poops" which fascinated her and I think helped a lot. For a couple of blessed months she would squat and do her business in her diaper, every day, demand her gummy bear and all was well. We were even able to get off the Miralax. The past two weeks, however, it's back. She tells me "I don't want to poop anymore" and holds it in with all her might, in spite of being extremely uncomfortable. So we're back on the Miralax and the gummy bears... I don't know what else to do. Our lives revolve around her poop, it seems...

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi J.,

There is a web site about constipation in toddlers:

www.hydeparkpedi.com/constipation.html

Check it out to see if you can get some information that will be useful to you. Good luck. D.

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