Help with Trust Question

Updated on October 19, 2013
G.B. asks from Boise, ID
22 answers

A year ago pop passed away . There is a trust. The trust said to split the assets/estate 6 ways equally. There has been absolutely no, NO disclosure from sibling(trustee)about what is in the trust., although I have an idea about how much pop had a year before he died. Out of the blue I get a trust check for a rounded off amount. No explanation, no list of dispursement, nothing. I reply to email from sis asking for my birth certificate, and ask her what the check it for. She says its my final portion of the estate. then lower in the email says there was still something left to be done. I ask her what - she said a small amount still in bank account and gives me a rounded off number. I ask what was the starting balance of the bank account, had the stocks been sold, etc etc.... She is evasive and never gave me concrete numbers. Next email she tells me the amount I got was my portion of the house (they all kept the house, I am the only one who opted out- I am the only one living out of state) . She tells me the house was worth 500K so I got 1/6. ok. I send her an email, asking to send me a copy of the appraisal. That is all I asked .She responds back attacking me for accusing her of cheating me. and then "reminds' me that the trust never allowed for the house to be sold, only shared 6 ways, and lawyer fees were incurred directly because of me opting out. More nerve than a bad tooth. I hadn't even had a chance to respond to that yet, before i get a voicemail from my brother "WE NEED TO TALK" and then an email from him (he is listed as trustor) telling me I cannot correspond with her on any financial matters anymore and all inquires must go to him. I haven't responded or talked with either one yet. But I know he is going to bully me and probably do similar to what she did....the whole thing is a joke, I don't think I am being unreasonable. By the way, the house might have been worth 500K a year ago, but zillow has it listed right now as 620K. So they paid me for an estimate from ( a year ago? )question- can they do that? Further, she said she rounded because the house is not finalized and there could be other expenses so anything left after all is wrapped up and done would then be distributed. Question #2- Don't I have only a certain number of days to respond to contest the dispursement if i disagree? If you know trust law, please help understand.

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R.L.

answers from Denver on

From one who legally challenged my siblings dealing with my parents estate, LET IT BE GIRL, just let it Be.

It is not worth the expense and frustration when dealing with greedy siblings who prefer to keep you in the dark. Take what you get and let it be. Eventually what they have done will come back to them twofold!
Plus if you take the legal route the funds for their defense may be taken out of the estate!

Let it Be!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Fresno on

Oh my gosh this situation is so sad. Everyone involved here sounds so greedy. I've never been in this situation but if my parents died and I was to get a portion...I think whatever I got would have been fine. Sorry, but I really do hope that it all works out. I would just try to avoid having issues with the siblings. That's what I'm was trying to say.

More Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Perhaps a $500 consult with the Estate Attorney of your choice is worth the money then. I mean since you recently were gifted nearly 100k for doing nothing beyond being alive.

:(

9 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

You do realize that Zillow is not an appraisal, right? Their estimates are hardly reliable.

It is really sad when siblings start to squabble over their inheritance, and I too would have been offended if my siblings didn't trust me in how I was administering something.

They didn't have to give you any kind of payout at all, so I think you should be gracious that they have allowed you to cash out your share without even selling the home. That's pretty awesome of them.

ETA: 2 months ago my paternal grandmother went into a nursing home, and her 2 daughters went through grandma's belongings to divy them up amongst them and the grandkids. There were certain things that my grandma always told me would one day come to me. I have always looked forward to receiving them--nothing very valuable, but sentimental and special because they were such tokens of my grandma's personality. Well, when my mom came to visit this weekend she brought the box of "stuff" that was for me. Not a single item that my grandma had told me was for me was in it. Now, should I call my aunts and ask them where my stuff is, or should I trust that they acted in good faith and gave me what I am supposed to have. After all, over the years of my grandma living in an assisted living facility she has been robbed by the staff multiple times. Maybe my stuff was stolen. Maybe my aunts mistakenly gave it to a cousin. Who knows? But, I know that my aunts love me and would never do anything to try to cheat me out of what was "mine." I suggest if your siblings love you they also wouldn't try to cheat you.

6 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

do you absolutely, positively need the money? What was your fathers was your fathers. He didnt appoint you trustee or trustor. Therefore you get what you get.

Your getting checks of actual money instead of debt. So if you knew without a shadow of a doubt exactly what was in the account a year ago, doesn't mean that was what was there now.

Would your sister and brother be one to jilt you? Think about it. Its your fathers earthly possessions, not a settlement.

These types of tifts never end well. I think they have felt accused and now they have shut down. Your not going to get any information from now on with out a fight.

5 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I'm sorry for your loss.

1. You are entitled to what the house was worth when he passed. If they'd sold the house, you'd be taxed on any gains after that point. Anyone is welcome to correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I remember from when my sweet mother in law passed. They kept money in the account afterwards to take care of any other bills and expenses. Also, the trustee is usually given some extra money to offset the costs and time associated with administering the trust.

2. No idea. Sorry.

Honestly, I'd just let it go. You just got about $80,000. Invest it and move on. It's not worth it, and your pop would hate to see the infighting.

4 moms found this helpful

G.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Did you already cash the check?

And Zillow?

Oh and by law it is the value at passing or within the first six months but the date must be declared and that date must be used for everything.

Ahh yes, I was just reminded of taxes. The estate would have been required to file taxes for 2012. That should include the values set at the time of death.

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm sorry about the loss of your father. It sucks losing a parent. May his memory be eternal!

I'm sorry about your siblings as well. Money can make people kinda crazy and then add to it the death of a parent? It gets even stickier!

So you got a check for roughly $80K? Did you cash the check? If so - cashing it means that you agreed to the disbursement - in my mind.

You can hire a lawyer to dispute. I believe you can ask the State for an accounting as well. Don't quote me on that, I'd hire a lawyer to find out what is going on. How the estate is valued, current/present day value or value on date of death. I don't know. I'm not a real estate lawyer nor am I a trust advisor.

You can call the court house, I BELIEVE that's where you need to call - to find out how long you have to contest the estate.

Also - I would change the title of your posting...to Estate Trust instead of just "trust" people might assume it's about trusting your spouse, etc. instead of an estate issue.

Good luck! Again, i'm sorry for the loss of your pops!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Santa Barbara on

So sorry for the loss. I am sure you have very good point and I agree with being transparent (sounds like you sister was not). She may or may not have skimmed some off the top.

Here is my honest opinion from someone with experience. Let it go. Do not bother with a lawyer. Best advice I got was paying for a lawyer is like burning your inheritance in the middle of the road. I understand you want to see proof. I did too, but for the sake of my relationship with sibling I let it go. For your mental health let it go. You could drive yourself crazy thinking about the injustice. Your siblings might think things about you (Miss out of state did not help clean up this mess and wants the reward). Your sister could be pulling her hair out dealing with the paperwork and figuring out your payout of the house.

side note: I would LOVE for some to pay the price my house is 'zillowing' for today. Your pop's house may be lovely, but many 'trust' houses around here (California) are a steal. One I just noticed on realtor.com is zillowing for $1.2mil and now the asking price just dropped to $799K and no offers. It is out of style. You might want to consider yourself very lucky for getting the money. Your siblings might have plans to fix the house up if they want to put it on the market and could end up with a huge profit (their win your loss for opting out).

Also, I recently watch some show on netflix about trust/estate. I wish I could recall the name of the show. about ten episodes about families battling over the estate. you will feel so grateful you never had to go through this after watching the series.

I really hope you and your sibling becoming closer now that your pop is in heaven.

3 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Don't go by Zillow. True appraisals are done by inspection of the house not by compiling the all the houses in the same zip code and using a computer program to figure out what the house is worth based on square footage only. There's a house in my neighborhood that was valued by zillow at $290,000 but is currently on the market for $287,000 and has been for months. The actual value is probably somewhere around $250,000 but the owners saw zillow for the neighborhood and think their agent is trying to low ball them for a sale. She isn't and it'll sit until they drop the price to the actual value of the house.

You should try to see things from your sister's point of view. She lost her father the same as you did but she's also dealing with settling his estate. Although a trust keeps things out of probate court it doesn't make it a whole lot easier.She's still setting up accounts, closing others, keeping track of and paying bills, calling and sending letters of notification, trying to figure out what's important as far as belongs to be passed on to family members and what's just stuff, and making sure that everything is done correctly. She's doing all that while you are sitting home out of state questioning her.

From what you have written you are saying that she's cheated you and is doing something wrong. But from what I'm seeing you are basing your information off a random wrong website and getting up in arms over it. You might be better off by starting over. Apologize for what you've said and tell her that you didn't mean to make it sound like you thought she was cheating you. If I was your sister I'd be upset if I was working harder than everyone else at settling an estate and was being accused of wrong doing.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Oh boy - I'm also not a trust accountant or attorney, but my husband and his brother had a long, drawn-out dispute with their aunt over their grandparents' estate. Their mother had died before their grandparents did so they inherited their mother's half of the estate, which was sizable. The aunt was partially disable and not of sound mind but the grandfather left her as trustee anyway and she botched much of the transactions, which was all done out of state. She basically did what your siblings seem to be doing, which was to make unilateral decisions on what to give them and what to keep for herself - despite clearly written will and trust documents - with no accounting to back things up.

At the end of the day, they ended up needing to hire an attorney and have the attorney go to court for them (they were allowed to participate via phone) and the first order of business was a final accounting of the value of all of the contents of the trust at the date of death - including real estate, stocks, other investments, etc. - and at the dates of disbursement for the items that had already been disbursed.

With your own siblings it may be hard to play the lawyer card, but I think that you should consult with an attorney in the state in which your father died and see what they say. Laws vary much from state to state but at the end of the day, proper settlement of an estate includes a transparent and fair accounting of the contents of the estate and you are totally within reason to ask for that.

My grandmother passed away in January and the uncle who is handling the settlement of her estate has been nothing but transparent and upfront about everything. He has provided my dad (and his 6 siblings) with copies of statements of everything, they all discussed the value of the home before accepting and offer for sale and are clear on what the proceeds will be and how they'll be divided, and everything is in order to settle.

Sorry for the loss of your dad and that your siblings are being less than transparent.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I'm sorry for your loss. If you are just talking about a small amount of money, like under 10-20K then you should just let it go.

Zillow is not a reliable estimate of house values. You can find comps in the area to get a better idea of what it's worth but appraisals can vary wildly depending on who is doing it. Your family likely got a conservative estimate since they are all following the trust and keeping thier share. I'm sure the fact that you wanted out did not make them happy as it was a blow to their bottom line.

Finally, having been the trustee of my Mom's estate I can tell you it is an incredible amount of work. On top of losing a parent it is all very overwhelming and stressful. For many months after caring for my mom while she died of cancer I had a new "job" in executing her trust. If the siblings who live near to your Dad were caring for him in any way prior to his death it makes all of this even more difficult. Before you go to war over this consider all sides and try to be objective. Your sister has a lot on her plate.

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My mom and my aunt no longer speak because of something similar. My grandmother passed and left a good chunck of money to both of them, but the condo to my uncle. My aunt and uncle knew this, but never told my mom. She is hurt beyond belief.

My parents have put me in charge of their trust, wills, everything. I plan to be 100% transparant with my siblings when it comes down to it. It's unreal to me how families fall apart because someone dies, but I see it far too often.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think the trust laws may vary by state so you need to become familiar with the rules in the state where your pop died. You may even need legal representation in that state. I am sorry for your loss. The loss gets magnified when you have siblings or a beneficiary arguing over the results. I don't think you are being unreasonable. But i think everyone is a little edgy about this. Communication is the key. Please talk to your brother live and try to clarify the things you are concerned about. Since you think he will try to bully you, be prepared. Prepare your list of questions in advance. Trustees do have some legal responsibilities to follow. Practice your response in advance to deflect his bullying tactics - by ignoring personal comments and stating facts. Do you have a copy of the will? and a list of assets? Do you know who the attorney was that drew up the papers for the trust? Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Your siblings should have been upfront with you and given you an appraisal of the house and all bank accounts and any other assets. If they are not cheating you, then why is it a problem? I bet something shady is going on and although your pop would hate to see you guys fighting, I bet he also would want you to have your fair share of the estate.
You could pay an attorney to send a letter on your behalf requesting a full accounting of all assets in the trust. (it would probably cost you about $300 and would let your siblings know you are not to be taken advantage of. Hopefully, it will also scare them into doing the right thing if they are in fact cheating you).
Best of luck and sorry for your loss.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I would get an estate lawyer.

The estate needs an executor who is OBJECTIVE and will make sure everything is done on the up and up.

As a surviving sibling, you should get a copy of everything and if you don't OR if you are given rounded numbers, estimates, etc, then red flags should be raised on what is going on.

Bottom line... what did you expect, if anything. It is not fair when 1 sibling goes in, takes control without having official control of the estate.

My mom went through this when her mom died. 5 siblings. The eldest brother took charge and basically took everything he wanted. In the end, it wasn't about the money but they got a realization of how this brother really is and it was the beginning of the end of a family who had always gotten together happily. Strange things happen when there is an estate, money involved and you have 1 or 2 greedy people who want it all vs doing the right thing.

Get a lawyer. I am sorry you are going through this. It is bad enough to have to deal with the loss of a parent and I'm sure your pop would not want you guys arguing over the estate and probably didn't anticipate this would happen.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You do know that the estate has to pay any debts he owed AND taxes he owed, don't you? But you are just seeing what you think is a dollar amount for his house and expect a certain amount based on that. It's not realistic of you.

Get an attorney if it all means this much to you. See if you can demand a full accounting of the estate records. But be prepared for a permanent rift with your siblings.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't know the law but my sister was trustee for our aunt's estate and I know it was a ton of work. Typically trustees are paid. So if she is keeping some, it might be fairly in lieu of payment. I totally trust my sister so didn't ask for any real back up. I think it comes down to whether you trust your siblings or not. And I think it's fair of them to haircut your portion of the house a bit bc of transaction costs nevermind the special legal fees for you and special accomodations since you're are only one wanting to cash out. Unless you think they're cheating you of a lot of money or you have always completely mistrusted them and you have little to no relationships with them, I'd let it go too. I was very careful to be respectful of all the work my sister had to do for both our benefit. Sounds like she's planning to send more later too so it's not even done yet. I get that seeing a higher zillow amount can make you wonder and no documentation of what's going on is a bit weird but I guess you have to take a step back. If you're the only one out of state, do you also think maybe they feel you didn't have to do as much for your dad so the equal split bugs them a bit?...

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd absolutely talk to an attorney who is experienced with end of life law and setting up trusts like this. I would not trust anyone that didn't have some sort of experience in the state this trust is in either.

Don't let brother badger you or bully you. Just tell him what you want to know.

I'd also want a copy of dad's will so I could see for myself what it says.

We are dealing with an inheritance too right now and we don't have any wish to know what all has been done with everything. We have an elderly aunt who is executor and they are working directly with an attorney who is doing the legal parts of this.

Since this is your father I think you have a right to all the information and stuff.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Get an estate lawyer asap.
The the lawyer can talk it all out with your brother and get an accounting of how everything played out.
Maybe you are being cheated and maybe you are not but there's no way for you to tell one way or the other if you can't get a total picture of what is going on.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I'll tell you what I would do. I'd have an estate lawyer send them a letter stating that he will look into the entire estate if they don't honor your questions. The lawyer will know the answers to your questions and tell you straight.

You don't seem to have a good relationship with your siblings anyway. They sound like they are wheeling and dealing and will take away as much of your share as they can. It does NOT matter that they had to incure lawyers fees to divvy out your amount. They would be paying realty fees if your father had put in the trust that the house had to be sold if at least one in six people wanted to sell it.

You might think you can't afford a lawyer, but for heaven's sakes, without the estate, you'd get nothing. Letting the lawyer come in between you and your sibs will take the headache off of you and the lawyer will blow their socks off of this power trip of theirs.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

Did the estate go into probate? If so, and you named in a will and or trust, you are required by law to get a copy of the will and all expenses paid by the estate. If you didn't get that, then their estate lawyer isn't doing their job.
Make sure to get copies of all that before the probate is closed.

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