Help with Thumb Sucking

Hi T.!! My daughter Channing is 6 and we have tried EVERYTHING to get her to stop sucking her thumb. I had all but given up and went to the dentist to get advice on appliances. He suggested some, but they had a cost of up to $1,800. There was no way we could afford that,so back to the drawing board.

UNTIL, we went to the orthodontist to get a panoramic x-ray of her mouth. We told the ortho about the thumb sucking and he has an ortho assistant that had created "The Thumb Club". All she did was print out a one month calender and gave her a pack of stickers. She also told Channing to talk to her thumb - or fingers if applicable - and make a deal with it. "Tell your thumb that it is NOT allowed in your mouth and although you still love your thumb, you cannot be friends again." For each day that she did not suck her thumb, she got to put one sticker on that day of the calender. For wach night, she put two.

Within four weeks, she was DONE!! No more thumb sucking!! We went back to the orthodontist and Channing graduated from "The Thumb Club". I asked Juliann why she thought the club worked for so many children. She said that it was the seperation from parent child and most children will respond when you take that part away.

You may want to talk to you dontist, their teacher, a friend, anyone that can do something similar. It is a great program and when she graduated she got a 'diploma', a bear, balloons, crayons, more stickers all in a little baggie that was decorated. It was AWESOME!!

Or, if you are in Sonoma County, you can - for FREE - go to Dr. Wear and Cercone and ask for Julianne. You will be happy you did.

T.
www.beautipage.com/sonomaspa

Trying painting her finger nails and putting bitter sweet on them, it stopped my daughter from sucking in 24 hours.

My daughter also had trouble breaking the thumb sucking habit. I found a nail polish to help with nail biting, and it also worked for her. It took several weeks of putting it on at bedtime, and there are still breakthough nights, but it works pretty well. I don't have the name of it - it wore off the bottle!!

My daughter is 3.5 and I have the same problem but it is getting better! Instead of her thumb she likes her forefinger though. The finger had a large calous on it and her teeth were coming in crooked. Nevermind all the pictures I can't stand with her hand always in her mouth. :-)
She has cut down a lot on finger sucking in the past couple of months through heavy vigilance and a few new toys. Every time I see her with the finger in her mouth I ask her to please take it out. Unless she's feeling particularly stubborn that day she complies. Sometimes I walk by her and just pull it out of her mouth. Teachers at pre-school also always ask her to stop sucking. The most difficult times are at night or when she is tired. A great reward system we've worked out are finger puppets! There's a cool little toy shop downtown right next to strizzis that sells all different kinds of finger puppets for $1-$2. With the puppet on her finger, she can't suck it! :-) She also really enjoys the trips to the store once or twice a month to get a new puppet and she is building up quite a nice little collection.

Hi T.,

Most experts (i.e., dentists) believe that dental problems will not begin to occur before age 5, as a result of thumb-sucking. It is possible you may have to spend a little to correct this, and do check with your dentist, but this part shouldn't be a serious problem.

You are right to connect the thumb-sucking with the fact that your daughters were premature, and thus spent several weeks in NICU. Although clearly your daughter had to have the pre-natal ICU care, it did separate her from you at a crucial age. The thumb sucking is a self-soothing behavior that comforts your daughter. When you see her sucking her thumb, rather than point it out, which will cause her shame (not your goal, I understand), at that moment, hug her, cuddle her, kiss her. Thumb sucking is her way of making herself feel self. In the long run, better she do this, and perhaps spend a little on dental, than use negative reinforcement to get her to stop. I know you are trying to help her avoid pain at school, and not to shame her, of course, but if she hears that only "babies" suck their thumbs, and believes it, and then still feels compelled to do it, she is much more likely to feel shame. Shame will hurt her far more than an overbite.

The better her self-esteem, which includes knowing that she is lovable and "OK", even if she does suck her thumb (children have different developmental paths, and up through age 6 this can be normal). The more anxious and worried you become about this, the more she will feel the need to soothe *your* anxiety, as well as her own.

My suggestion is that you a) look at your own anxiety over this. Were you teased as a child? (Most of us were, of course). If so, you may be panicking about this happening to her. The more calm you can remain about the fact that thumbsucking is simply a non-serious psychological defense mechanism that aids in self soothing (not for ever, but for now), and the more you can attempt to trust that, even if she is teased, with your love and comfort, she can get through that, the more "OK" she will feel.

Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychologist said, The curious paradox is that it is only when I truly accept myself that I am able to change. This applies to you and to her. She really is OK, and again, up till age 6, thumb sucking is in the range of normal.

The one intervening act that I truly recommend is, once again, that whenever you see her do that, say nothing about it, but either hug and cuddle her, distract her (hey, sweetie, look at this), or simply say, I love you Sweetie, just for being you, the less she will need to do this. Trust in her development. Having missed out on those early weeks with you, she may just need a little extra. That really is OK. Attempts to self-soothe are indicative of healthy children, as opposed to attempts to self-harm (hitting her head against the wall, for example) or other such things.

C. Miles, MFT
San Rafael

Put a calendar up where she can see it. Explain to her that for every day she doesn't suck her fingers, she gets to put a sticker on the calendar. When she gets 5 stickers, she gets a special "surprise." Make the surprise something non-material, such as alone time with you, a trip to the park, or whatever you think would really get her motivated. Be sure to follow through!

Works like a charm and doesn't make her feel ashamed of her habit--it sets her up for success.

T. does she suck all the time and everywhere or just at night? My daughter use to suck her thumb and she eventually stopped on her own. I think we eventually we told her she could suck in the house but not outside. It helped her get to sleep. She is now 18 and on her own, and I know your daughter will be fine