Help with a Picky Eater..

My middle child was the same way. She is now 9 and still will not eat meat. It takes all I can to get her to eat 3 bites. I do push the 3 and let it go at that. She takes her vitamins nightly so that helps. I spoke with her doctor and he advised that she is healthy and still getting the nutrients that she needs. I will say though that she likes her vegetables and that does put my mind at ease. Have you spoken with her doctor?

We had similar problems, and I was getting really frustrated, so I just stopped buying any other form of foods, except what I wanted her to eat, and eventually, she ate it. After a few days, maybe a week, she was asking for the things that before, wouldn't have come close to being eaten. The complaints and whining got old, but it did ease up and now, when I ask her to eat something new or unique to her, she'll try it. Give her some time, but keep at it.

Hi C.,
Your 6 1/2 year old sounds so self aware and driven..very cool! I just ride out these phases, and 'hide' veggies in dishes as pasta, burritos, soup (ground up..),etc.

We are almost completely vegetarian (we do eat fish), and find that even though our son could eat a more varied diet, he is very healthy, strong and developing great physically/mentally.

We went through the same with our daughter, who is now excited to try new foods (at 10).

I think one of the worst you can do as parents is to argue to much about food. There are already so many people with issues around eating!
Good luck!
Y..

Read "Child of Mine" by Ellen Satter (not sure I'm spelling the author's name correctly. Our son's doc recommended it to us. It will completely change the way that you handle food issues with your child. Best book ever!

I have a very picky 6 year old. I have resorted to pureed veggies in everything. you could do the same with meat I suppose. If she truly wants to be a vegetarian, check with your dr, and get a good diet for her. My friend's daughter went through that stage at 5 and quickly decided against it if she couldn't eat chicken. We have had to do some tough love when it comes to food as well. If you don't eat what's there, that is the only food until breakfast, he has gone to bed a little hungry only 2 nights. Our Dr's advise was "YOU decide what is served, the child decides how much he/she will eat." That is our rule... it's really hard sometimes. We have stopped buying chicken nuggets and fish sticks, and it has really helped to just stick to our guns.

Good news is that she likes fish :) You can try cooking mash potatoes with chicken broth - Buy Turkey hot dogs (do not tell her)

Our rule is that you try everything once and if you try it and do not like it you do not have to eat it.

I read somewhere that a food has to be offered 20 times before a child will accept it - and offered is the key not forced. Also do not let the child see your frustrations - just ignore it (sometimes hard to do).

A friend of mines child only ate lunchmeat - the doctor told her to remove it completely (due to high sodium)- her son threw a fit for a week but he accepted it after some time.

Good luck!

My husband (40!) is/was a very picky eater. And therefore my daughters were that way as well.

Here is my suggestion, make sure she is getting her recomended daily dosage of vitamins, minerals and nutrients (Isagenix has an amazing kids program full of their daily requirements), then let her make her best decisions. You can not force a kid to eat. What I do know is that when the body is fed the proper nutrients in the day, the body WANTS better food and more variety.

My daughters, 12 and 8 are now not so picky, (even mu husdand has let go of some of his attachements) they like a variety of things, and EVERY morning they have a nutritious shake full of the vitamins, minerals and nutrients their little bodies need. Surprisingly, they all have made a LOT of choices to give up some unhealthy stuff (IE they have decided that fruit juice and pop are not necessary any more. They chose water at meals AND I can count the number of fast food visits in the last year on 1 hand.)

I know from experience with the families that I work with, once the body has what it NEEDS to function at its optimal level, it then starts to WANT the stuff that will keep it that way. Your daughter is very in tune with what she needs, she jsut doesn't know how to express it properly.

I work with families just like yours. If you'd like to chat more, please let me know.

B.
www.HeyYouGetReal.com

Hi C. - I have a 6 and a half year old too and it's a constant battle to get him to eat what I put on his plate. He's very picky and he too LOVES cereal. Rather than frozen chicken nuggets of fish sticks, it's not too difficult to make them from scratch. They taste so much better and are so much healthier than the processed precooked nuggets that my three boys love them. Let me know if you'd like my recipes. We try hard to avoid buying the unhealthier options like hot dogs. In fact, since my family has become more educated on good nutrition after starting to take Juice Plus capsules and gummies, the kids don't even like hot dogs anymore and crave healthier foods. If you think vitamins are important, than you should investigate Juice Plus because it's so much more powerful than a man made supplement. It's actually whole food in a capsule form. It's improved my family's overall health so much that I became a distributor. To learn more feel to look at the website at http://www.juiceplus.com/+cc42230. Feel free to call me if you want more info at ###-###-####. Good luck!

C.:

Hi. I'm just starting on the picky eating phase with my 2-1/2 year old. Some other posters mentioned the Jessica Seinfeld book - I ordered it about a month ago and just tried one of the recipes last night. It is called Deceptively Delicious. I made macaroni and cheese and used fortified pasta (I was going to try whole wheat but didn't want it to be too different at first) and then the sauce was cauliflower puree, cream cheese and low fat cheddar cheese. It tasted a little bit off to me but my husband said he thought it was good - anyway my son ate every single bite. I couldn't believe it. Even when I make Kraft Mac & Cheese he'll only eat a couple of bites. I puree veggies for my infant so doing some additional purees and freezing them for recipes for my todder is easy. I'm excited to try some of the other recipes. I think there is both a psychological component to the picky eating and also a practical component. The other posters gave you some good advice. Good luck!!

There is a new book out by Jerry Seinfeld's wife (not sure if I spelled the name right.) It's called Deceptively Delicious. It's where the parents "sneak" healthy food into the diet without the children ever knowing. It supposedly works. If she likes breakfast, mix up some sweet potatoes in her pancakes, she'll probably never taste them. You'll need that book and a small food processor. Seinfeld's wife was on Oprah a few months ago. According to the show, you can even add avacado to homemade pudding and the kids don't know it.

One question for you to consider: did the pickiness in any way coincide with your divorce? Children have amazing ways of seeking attention when a major disturbance like that happens. Please don't feel upset or guilty that I ask that, but my little brother did exactly the same thing when my parents split up. Just a thought.
K

Ditto on putting veggies in the foods. And from time to time put veggies next to it.

I relate. My 3 year old son's very picky. He spots a veggie and meat a mile away. I have been starting to put shredded veggies in pasta sauce. And put mashed bananas in pancakes etc. Someone gave me a great idea of shredded carrots in pancakes. etc. Also an idea of pumpkin pancakes etc. I haven't tried the latter two. I just may do that soon.

And I would explain to my son about chix parmesan..I said it tastes like pizza and chicken nuggets. And to my surprise, he tried it.

Does your daughter like quesadillas? I would put finely shredded turkey in quesadillas and cheese. My son didn't even notice there was meat in it.

Sometimes it is easier not to battle with my son, so I would hide the veggies/meat and still put veggies on the table etc. I am grateful he loves fruits.

They have fake mashed potatoes..made out of cauliflower. I heard someone would do half mashed potatoes or half cauliflower puree. We do the full cauliflower puree with cream cheese and a pat of butter, it is yummy side dish with the roterserrie chicken.

In your post, you mentioned breakfast meats, theres breakfast patties, maybe make own patties, add shredded zucchini in it.

I am waiting for the cookbook I ordered..Sneaky Chef. It sold out after it was on Oprah show and it is being published. i am curious about the Jessica Seinfield one for more ideas. I just thought of a christmas wish gift idea just now. The Jessica Seinfield cookbook.

You are not alone.

Something that has worked well for my picky 3 1/2 year old daughter is a "No thank you bite." She has to take at least one bite (and swallow) of what is on her plate, but can then pass by saing "No thank you." The tricky part is that she will ask for seconds on what she does like--do we give in or push the new stuff? Still trying to figure that one out!

Some say that cooking and then pureeing vegetables INTO foods is one way to get veggies in their diet. I've done that myself, and my girl does not even know. I believe Jerry Seinfeld's wife has a book out, on recipes for cooking this way for children,and apparently it is very popular. If your child does not eat, out of choice or picky-ness...they will soon learn that they are hungry. Some of my friends, puree the vegetables into their child's foods, some just don't "cater" to every picky food whim their child proclaims or episodes of going through a "phase." I know it's hard. My girl goes through those phases as well. But, it subsides, then she will try something new. It is hard to cook for and cater to their every food whim. It is hoped, that they will learn to try new foods, and eat with the family and what we eat. Or they will just be hungry. What then? Try also to see what your Pediatrician suggests, I'm sure they encounter this all the time. If your child is overall healthy and has no medical concerns, then at least that is good. Does she take vitamins? It is a tricky phase to handle, granted. I'm sure you will find lots of tips here. Good luck!
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogo

I have a picky 21 month old son. He likes most fruits and breads but doesn't care for veggies, milk or cheese (except feta). I think pureeing veggies is too much of a hassle and the jarred baby food tastes horrible. I've found finely grating veggies and hiding them in the foods he loves works best for us. My son loves eggs so I finely grate a tablespoon or two of carrots, cauliflower or squash to his scrambled eggs with a little feta. I Saute the veggies in a little oil or water first so they are soft and less noticeable. I still offer him veggies on the side on a regular basis and he actually has started eating some spuratically. I don't make a bid deal of it though. If I try to make him take a bite, he resists more. So I just leave him alone and sometimes he eats it, sometimes he doesn't. But he is making progress. Now he will usually eat edamame, carrots or roasted sweet potatoes. The best way to get him to eat his veggies is in an ice cream cone. He never refuses. I make a thick smoothie with ripe banana, frozen mango, carrot and cucumber. I also add 3 T. of powdered milk (because he won't drink milk) and a little yogurt. Then blend it, put it in a cone and top it with wheat germ. He loves it! Pita pizzas with hidden veggies are also a hit. The trick is I can't add too many veggies or he won't eat it. You could try making baked homemade chicken nuggets with ground chicken and add some finely grated veggies. Maybe try leaving the Morning Star package out so she thinks you bought them. :)

my cousin was the same way, and my grandfather (he raised her) would baby her big time. he would prepare dinner for everyone, but her dinner was different. rather than making her eat what everyone else ate, she got special meals that consisted of only the foods she liked. this paved the way for her eating habits today. she is almost 15 now, and she is still very very picky about her foods. if she doesn't like what is put in front of her, she won't eat at all now. she would rather go hungry all day than eat what she is given. now she has problems gaining weight, she looks like a skeleton, and the docs have put her on a very regimented vitamin schedule to make up for her lack of nutrients in her meals. she basically lives on vitamins now. if we are lucky, we will get one good meal in her a day. her docs have suggested therapy for her now, because they believe she has an underlying eating disorder. my advise to you is to be persistint. whatever you put in front of her, she eats. i go through this with my 4 year old. she isn't as picky as your daughter, or my cousin, but she can be difficult. if she doesn't eat what i give her, then she doesn't eat period. and she has to sit at the table until her food is gone. sometimes, it takes her an hour and a half to get through her meal, but at least she is getting food in her ya know. i would say just make her eat it. don't let her get up froom the table until she finished what is in front of her. start small though. make her consist of mostly the food you know she likes, but give her small porrtions of the food you want her to try, and let her know that until ALL the food is eaten, she will not be getting up from the table. it will be a battle, and she will not like it, but at least she will be getting new foods in her.

also, if she insists on being vegitarian, go ahead and let her, but make sure that you make her eat new vegitarian foods like tofu and other soy based "meats". this wat she gets a healthy portion of protien, which is what most vegitarian diets lack.

I used to worry about what my kids ate as they grew up. Lord knows we hear all this advice on television and radio and in the newspapers about children and eating disorders. What worked for me, and my kids are now teenagers, is to let them be picky. You are doing the right thing by being a good example, and all you can do is give them the right choices and hope they make the right decisions based on those choices. But now looking back, when I stressed about my kids wanting to eat cereal every night, I have to laugh because there was nothing really wrong with that. At least they were eating, and cereal has a lot of good things in them, if you buy something other than the really junky sweet stuff.
Growing up we were just trained to think that if they don't eat what we've grown up to learn as the "ideal meals" ex; Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner, then there's something wrong with that. No, cereal can be very good at supplying vitamins as well. So long as they get some veggies and meat now and then I don't see why they can't just eat what they want. As it turns out, my kids are not overweight or underweight. They eat when they are hungry, and don't when they aren't, isn't that more normal than forcing them to eat when they don't want to? And, I have noticed that if they eat too much junk they'll get sick. Their bodies have a way of telling them when they've over done it. How will they learn what their body wants if they forced to eat something that doesn't appeal to them? Sometimes they have to learn by experience and not just guidance. I say, be open with them, let the kids know your concerns about how they are eating, but let them eat cereal if that's what they want. Why make your own life hell just because they won't eat meat and veggies like the television ads suggest?
At our house we've always given them that freedom. "We're having this for dinner, if you don't want that you can make your own". (as soon as they were old enough to make their own stuff, and sometimes my daughter was so lazy that she chose not to eat, and still does that) I let them know when I think they've had too much sugar, or have been over doing the sodas, or if I am concerned they haven't eaten or had enough water, and leave it at that. They agree usually and cut back, or add what I've pointed out that they are missing. It's amazing! Also, they got over wanting cereal all the time.
I say, just give her a choice and let her decide. You can even give her two choices, and they can both be healthy choices, that way she feels she gets to make the decision, and you feel good knowing she's eating right.
One more thing, it's also been found to be true that grazing (lots of small "good for you" snacks, is actually better than three big meals, I know you've heard this too, and I find it to be so true) lots of small doses of food to hold you over keeps you from binging and over eating at large sit down meals. But family time at a meal is important too, so a good gathering for a meal now and then is good too. Food can get boring too. Let her be creative.

My daughter is 14, 5'5" and weighs about 107-110 lbs, a bit on the thin side but very happy about it. My son is 15, 5'7" and weighs about 120 lbs, works out at the school gym, and looks perfectly average for his age. I'm very happy with how they've turned out so far. She has always been a very picky eater, and cut out soda three years ago on her very own. I never told her not to drink soda, but I'm glad she realized how un-necessary it is. My son loves soda, and now coffee, and occassionally I have to point out that he should drink water more often, and I cut him off with the caffeine by 7 or 8pm if it's a school night. He seems upset but agrees that it's probably a good idea. He needs sleep. Yes we give them a hard time, we don't ignore their health, but it's their decision. They are little people who are searching for control of their own lives little by little. Why not give them the opportunity to choose and learn and grow that way?
Being that I worked the nights,5pm to midnight, and my husband worked the days,6am to 4pm, one of us was always home with them, but my husband didn't like to be a "short order cook" so if they didn't like what he fixed for dinner, he told them to make something else. I used to hate that. I felt bad that they weren't getting a good meal at dinner every night. I'd come home and there would be cereal bowls everywhere. But now and then I'd be home at night (I worked part time) so I'd just make that the night when we'd try to have a nice meal together. They liked those occassions when we had meat, rice, and a salad for a change.
This worked for us. I hope this helps. Let me know what you think.

Have you tried putting pureed meat in pasta sauces, mac & chz, etc... "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook may have some ideas for you to add other veggies and meats where she wouldn't be able to taste them. :)

C.,
I have a 6 year old grandson, very little and we were worried to. As long as she is healthy and no medical problems, are Dr.'s have said they will eat, when they are hungry and as far as vegis corn and carrotts seem to be the favorite for the little one's try having fun with corn on the cob, a little one of course good luck, none of us as children liked vegis, not to worry
L.

I had nearly exactly the same issue with my now almost 10yo. For some years he would not eat most foods that were not white - pasta, bread, etc. He did like some raw veggies, but he would not eat meat except the vegetarian stuff. I fussed and hemmed and hawed adn tried everything.

For years.

The moment I gave up, he started eating chicken. If she wants to be a vegetarian, I say, let her. It's not going to huer her, as long as you pay attention to her getting enough proteins (beans and rice together and corn and potatoes together are complete proteins for example).

Of all the battles out there, is this really the one that you want to fight?

Dear C.
My daughter is going to be 6 in January. We have only had issues with a few foods, but I got her to at least try things on a regular basis, by telling her that your taste buds change every single week, so you need to try new things. This goes for good food as well as desserts. So it has become a new game that we play. "Let's see what food You like this week?" And now that it is fun, she will at least try stuff. It worked on Thanksgiving with Turkey, which she swears she hated, until the new taste test. Now that is all she wants. Hope it will work for you. Good Luck.

I have a feeling that she will grow out of it. I have a niece that is now a very healthy 18, and all she would eat for YEARS was mac and cheese, can corn, chicken strips, and cheeseburgers and fries from MacDonalds. When she was almost 15 she went on a mission trip to Panama, and she did survive, actually ate a Buffalo burger, and I don't think it was our native Buffalo!!! So, I would suggest vitamins, and breakfast food for supper, and I am sure that this too shall pass....Best wishes!

I sympathize -- my 6.5 yo son sounds worse than your daughter. He eats apples and pears (when reminded), and no other produce of any kind. As for meat, he likes hamburger cooked by his nanny only(!) but has given up chicken and all other meats because they're "gross." Nor does he like "veggie" meat which at least has soy protein. He likes carbs . .don't we all! BUT I have renewed hope lately after buying Jessica Seinfeld's book "Deceptively Delicious." Her whole schtick involves pureeing vegetables and fruits and sneaking them into various kid-friendly foods. I have tried a lot of the recipes and most are pretty good, but I also just use the idea with some bought foods. For example, I just now served my kids a good frozen mac&cheese from Trader Joe's with some pureed cooked carrot stirred in. They had no idea. Last week I made brownies with . . get ready . .pureed carrot and spinach! The kids liked them. Of course this does not make them more open-minded and teach them to like the veggies, but at least I know they are getting some more nutrition in. Good luck! P.S. You can add almost anything to cheese, chocolate and tomato sauce since they are such strong flavors.

I would try some crock pot soups, with chicken, for example, because then the chicken gets so tender from cooking in the crockpot all day such that it is tender enough even for a young child to chew easily. I also have a six year old daughter and she loves my chicken tortilla soup. Unfortunately, there is not enough room in this space to include my recipe. I would also suggest chili and meatloaf because the texture is such that it is appealing to a child. I put chopped carrots, mushrooms and celery in my meatloaf (saute it first.) Good luck to you!!

I see that there are a lot of people who have tried the Deceptively Delicious cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld. I ordered the book without my husband knowing. (he is pickier than my 3 children). The recipes really do work. Once you learn how to cook and puree the veggies, you will be able to put them into everything without using a recipe book. It works wonders!! I was able to get my family eating such things as sweet potatoes, squash, broccoli and spinach and they had no clue!! The best recipe book by far!!