Help Transitioning My Son to a "Big-boy" Bed

Updated on July 09, 2008
J.B. asks from Grosse Pointe, MI
10 answers

My son will be two at the end of July and we will be welcoming a new baby boy at the end of August. We're in the middle of prepping my stepson's room for them to share so the nursery will be free for the baby. I'm hoping to have it done by next week. (My stepson is excited about sharing a room with his little brother, so that isn't an issue...yet. :))
My issue is the transition between the crib and the "big-boy" bed for my son. We've stayed in hotels before where my son has had a bed to himself and he was really good about staying in bed, but we were always in the same room. We live in a bungalow so my husband and I sleep upstairs and the kids are downstairs. I worry about my son waking in the middle of the night and wandering around downstairs with no one to watch him. My husband suggested we put up a baby-gate at the door so if he wakes up he'll be stuck in his room, but a friend suggested that then he may feel trapped and that will backfire because he won't want to be in his new room anymore. That also means that my stepson will have to be awake enough to step over the baby gate if he needs to use the bathroom in the night.
Also, we have bunk beds for the boys, and naturally my son would sleep on the lower bunk, but I worry about him climbing the ladder. He's a little monkey and loves to climb on anything, so the ladder would be too big a temptation. We would keep the ladder up during the day and when my stepson isn't there, but what about at night? It has to be functional for my stepson to use.
Does anyone have any thoughts on how I can calm my nerves about this whole transition? Thanks in advance for any help! :)

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

How about one of those car beds? Maybe even for both son and stepson? They're shaped to look like cars and what boy doesn't get a thrill out of having "his own car"?

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J.

answers from Detroit on

use a baby monitor in his room...i have one in my boys room 4 and 6 and i still "listen" to when they wake up.....

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

I found that the biggest way to calm my nerves was to just do it... Pick a night that if you still are nervous you can sleep on the sofa and that step son is there also...
Tell him that big boys need to stay in their bed, just like step brother... Use a baby monitor to listen for noise...
My daughter never had a problem with staying in bed... She was 20 months when transfered. Our older son never had a problem either... He was 22 months... Our older son still at almost 4 will sit in bed and call us instead of getting out of bed to find us.
We never used night lights with the kids so if they do wake up its pitch black and its hard to roam around in the dark like that.
Make sure you stress that if he needs you to come get you. Perhaps a night light at the top of the stairs may help your nerves... And the knob covers on the inside do work... Unless your guy figures out how to get them off or are in the process fo potty training. :-)
Good luck...

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A.H.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Joy-

I think that safety is the number 1 priority... I would suggest putting one of those door knob covers (safety latches) on the inside of the door and shutting the door after he goes to sleep. My son never felt trapped. I, too, didn't want him wandering. Being 10, your step-son should be able to maneuver it enough while half asleep to get out and probably more safely than trying to climb over a baby gate. You might also want to put a baby monitor in there so that if he does wake in the middle of the night, you will know. As for the bunk beds, we had them, but found that we had to separate them into two beds. I don't know if that is an option for you or not, but although it wasn't a problem at night, but rather during the day when they were playing in their room, even though we took down the ladder, they would climb up the end of the bed on their own "make-shift" ladder.

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

the ladder is a good one... but the babygate I have a suggestion... we got a 'swinging door ' baby gate.
Functions just like a half door. If your little man is really clever, just don't let him see you push the button to open it! But this kind of babygate really helped me when I had a four year old AND a newborn.

good luck!

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J.N.

answers from Detroit on

We put our almost two-year-old in a big girl bed in a new room, too. Her bed isn't a bunk, but it's up high (she uses a ladder to get in it, and a slide to get out of it). She's going to be three in October, and hasn't given us any issues all year (even when her new baby sister arrived, and through potty-training). It sounds like your son is already a good sleeper, and you're probably worried about things that will never happen (as any good parent would). Try to relax, though. He'll be fine. Maybe you and/or your husband could take turns sleeping downstairs on the couch for a couple nights (maybe a week or so) until you're satisfied he's okay in the new environment. If he likes to climb so much, he would climb out of his crib. If he doesn't do that through the night now, he probably won't in the new bed either. We live in a colonial with all of our bedrooms upstairs and other living space downstairs. Stairs are just part of the routine, you know? We don't use a gate, although I have heard of other moms using one. If it was my family in your bungalow, I'd go without the gate at first and see how it goes. Good luck!!! :o)

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C.L.

answers from Saginaw on

I think one of those gates that have a swinging door that unlocks when you step on the peddle. My girlfriend had one and it worked so well. Her older children could learn to use it and the younger one won't be able to open. That way he could get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom or come and get you. As for the ladder. I would let him play in the room during the day for about an hour a day with you or your husband and everytime he trys to climb, you get on him for trying. Then explain he could get hurt. He will eventually leave it alone and you should have peace of mind. Hope this helps. God Bless! Connie

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J.A.

answers from Detroit on

Joy,
I am in the same situation that you are in. My son is 2 1/2 and we are expecting our second also at the end of August. Aaron loves his crib and does not like change to much. We moved the big boy bed into the nursery this past week. We still need to put a safety rail on it so he doesn't fall out of bed so we haven't used it yet. The interesting thing is that he likes to sit on it a couple times a day and we have talked with him that this will be his new big boy bed to go into his new room. I am also explaining to him that with the big boy bed comes some big boy rules. I know that the transition will be rough for a couple of weeks but he will learn to stay in bed till mommy or daddy come and get him. I have been advised to start with nap time so if he doesn't cooperate at least he will get a full nights sleep in his crib. I wish you grace with the transition and know that you are not the only one getting ready to embark on this new adventure. J.

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S.J.

answers from Detroit on

We had trouble with my son getting out of bed at night when he was about the same age as yours. I caught him up playing computer games and eating snacks at 3am once.

After trying a number of things that didn't work, we got a video monitor. He and Daddy went to the store together to pick it out. We explained what it was for and why we were getting it. We emphasized it was because we love him and want him to be safe. We put it up in his room and showed him how it worked. That night, shortly after we put him to bed, he tried climbing out (just like he had been doing). I was watching the monitor and ran in to stop him before he even hit the floor. He was startled, but impressed that mommy was watching. We haven't had a problem with it since.

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J.R.

answers from Detroit on

Kids are so adaptable it will only be a matter of days before YOU will feel comfortable with him in a big-boy bed. Its funny, but children want to grow up so fast, it's the adults that fear it. You have a 10 year old son that will show him the ropes. Most likely if he wakes in the middle of the night he will call out for you instead of making his way out of his room to the dark beyond. Plus in no time he WILL be making his way up that ladder and playing on the top bunk. He's gonna have a great time wrestling with his big brother and showing his little sibling how to climb that bed! Have fun and enjoy this great time.

1 mom found this helpful
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