Help! My 4 Yr Old Is All of the Sudden Wetting Her Bed!

Updated on May 01, 2008
M.J. asks from Belleville, IL
13 answers

Maybe some of you have gone through this and can offer some advice. She is very smart and started potty training at about 10 months but took a really long time to completely become trained. She knew and used about 170 words/phrases by age 14 months and was walking at 10 months. She is the most stubborn child I've every met. Poor kid has got it from my husband, his parents as well as my side and me. Just this month she has been getting angry, throwing fits and already wet her bed in the middle of the night 5 times. She is not in preschool and rarely has a babysitter. I asked her is someone hurt her or if she was sad or upset. She said, "No, Mom", as if it were a silly question to ask. I am a stay at home mom to her and her brother who will be 3 next month. She turned 4 in February and has been potty trained since November. I am exhausted and frustrated. She is off and on not taking her naps and I thought maybe she was just too tired, but it happens some days when she takes naps, too. She was eating an cereal that had cranberries in it and I thought maybe that was messing her up so I stopped that, but she has had three accidents since then. Ugh, do I take her to the doctor? Now what? Any thoughts or help would be great?

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E.K.

answers from Lawrence on

if she is peeing frequently and having these accidents, it could be a sign of a UTI. my daughter ended up having a kidney infection at age 1. her major symptom was a high fever as the other symptoms were difficult to detect.

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

first off, relax! she will not wet her bed forever! yes, take her to the Dr. find out if there is any physical problem-ie: bladder infection or kidney issues. after you find out there are no physical issues (this is what we hope for!!) then you'll know it is a behavior issue. at this age that is no surprise!! just remember, the more upset you are, the more she is stressed. I have a daughter that we have succsefully reached the other side--she's 17! I learned the HARD way and my mistakes were many and painful. I had no one to talk to and was afraid of the "what are you doing wrong" looks. you know? you are fortunate to have this forem. also, don't let the Dr. scare you, make you feel like the most stupid mommy around or make this more than what it is--growing up. asking for help usually means you are willing to listen to those that have been there. Good luck. let me know how the Dr. visit goes.
p.s. one other thing--be very careful of how much liquid and , surprisingly, some foods she gets and when. find out how "fast" her "go thru" is. some kids have very small bladders or bladders that don't like to hold alot. make a journal of her intake for a while. you might be surprised at what you find. just a thought. it helped with me.

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R.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Melanie -

For the wetting issues I can offer you this advice...take her to her pediatrician! I was SO upset when my son began wetting himself and his bed after he had been successfully potty trained for sometime. He was three and a half almost 4 when this all began. I was frustrated and even began punishing him somewhat and being just disgusted as I thought he was just getting too busy playing and not wanting to stop to potty. Turns out he had two kidney issues going on at that time. I felt SO bad when I realized it wasn't something he was "doing." The kidney issues were easily resolved with some dietary changes and some sort of supplement they prescribed at the children's hospital.

The other issues could be just a typical acting out type phase she is going through. Three-Five are tough years where they kiddo is becoming more and more independent and if she is stubborn that doesn't help. Read or watch Love and Logic or the 1,2,3 system. I have personally used Love and Logic and it DOES work! 1,2,3 I have just heard good things about it.

A visit to her pediatrician I think would really ease your worries. Then you know whether or not it is medical or behavioral...making it much easier to fix! Best of luck! This too shall pass!!! :)

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A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

You may want to have your pediatrician have a look at her. This happened to my daughter after she was potty trained for over a year, and it turned out that she had a urinary tract infection. It might just be that she is going through a developmental phase, but it would ease your mind to make sure that it wasn't an infection that was causing her irritability. Good luck, and I hope she is just fine!

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

First thing take her to her doctor to make sure she does not have anything wrong or some infection that is not showing up. Then when that is satisfied-just relax and take her to the store with you to get some pull-ups with a cute design after all she is still only four and has a lot to deal with in her waking hours and believe me if you think you can be overwhelmed just imagine how that works on her. Yes she is smart and that may play into it as she knows what it is and how it is bothering her as much as you. So try this and see how it works-some kids have "fall-backs" as they grow up it is just their way of keeping themselvews "grounded" or in a place that feels comfortable for them. It is a really hard job to do all this growing up day after day and to deal with everything else sometimes just takes it's toll on them. Some kids tkae longer to grow out of the wetting situation. Remember to make sure there isnothing else causing it from the medical point.

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M.S.

answers from Buffalo on

Hello. My DD also has started to do the same thing. After a urinary tract test (came back neg) and a sonogram of her kidneys and bladder we got sent to a ped urologist. (Actually just last week) He told me that even though she was dry for over a year that she is still young and its normal. SO no answers there! I have to take her again in 4 mo to see if there is any improvement. I was so aggravated. We wake her at 10:30 pm and 5:00 am. Usually then she won't have a accident although just last night she did. But at least in stead of every night its only 2 times a week. I would take her to the doc because I didn't know this but there are a lot of factors why a child might all of a sudden wet the bed. Urinary tract infection, diabetes, problems with kidneys and bladder... and I am sure there are more those are just the test we have already done. So it wouldn't hurt to have her checked. You might end up right where I am... its normal LOL.

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M.M.

answers from St. Joseph on

check her for infections your doctor can run a few tests.. is there some one new in her life a neighbor friend has some one started coming to the home more offten?? Is she dreaming at night more offten is she affraid of something ask and keep asking and keep talking to her until she talks and keep your eyes and ears open to her even when she is playing alone kids have a tendancy to talk when no one is listening,Hope this helps.

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G.B.

answers from St. Louis on

"When my kids drank too much after supper, I would "carry/walk" them into the bathroom before I went to bed. It is amazing, how automatic the response is "to go when on the toilet". If the wetting continues I would just get those "dry night" pants - they actually look like underwear - and you don't have the frustration of wet sheets, blankets, etc... If she was just toilet trained in Feb. of this year - night accidents would still be pretty common. The body is so relaxed during sleep it would be pretty natural that the bladder would empty itself. My advice - don't make a big deal out of it. If she is afraid that she will wet the bed - she may not want to go to sleep. I don't think you want that. Sincerely, G.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

usually they regress within the first year of being fully potty trained. It's normal, mine did it. Just put her in a pull up and don't make a big deal out of it. We noticed that when we even acknowledged that our daughter's pull up was wet, it would be wet again the following sleep cycle. But when we just said, "ok, throw it in the trash." and that was it, she had less frequent accidents. I think stress affects them in different ways. Potty training is different and new and could be stressful, even after it seems to be over with. She won't be wetting the bed forever. I would also say just make a visit to the dr. to make sure it's not a UTI or bladder infection.
She might also be outgrowing her naps if she's not sleeping. We know of some families that have an hour a day of rest time where they can read a book or sleep if they want during a specific time. And no getting out of bed.
Good luck!

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F.M.

answers from Kansas City on

You have just described my now 9yo. She has had issues with wetting her pants at 5yo after being trained for 2 yrs. Then, at nighttime at 7yo when she had been night trained at 5yo. I took her to the dr and it seems that she may have had a UTI that she didn't feel. And, she still gets them on and off. The cranberry juice is actually a good thing for that. Also, the nurse thought since the white cells were so low, that she really didn't have a UTI, but perhaps a worrier, as these things happened at the times of new babies. I would have it checked now and periodically. Putting her to bed at a decent time, and keeping the stress down.

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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I just got an email with this link that has a lot of useful information I thought I would share with you! http://www.goodnites.com/NA/Default.aspx Check out all the tabs. They have helpful information, expert advice Q&A, etc.

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A.R.

answers from Kansas City on

Just to add to the already great advice. I have one daughter that never had a bed-wetting problem and one that does. The one that does sleeps straight through it. I wet the bed when I was little and I did, too. So it isn't a "choice". We always put our bed-wetter to bed at her normal time. I choose not to restrict liquids because I didn't want to fight that battle. Then I get her up at my bed time (11pm) and have her go potty. She literally is so sleepy that she'll fall off the toilet if I don't support her. I truly think it is a matter of having their anatomy catch up to their age. Their bladders will stretch and hold more and they'll be able to wake up out of a deep sleep. To relieve your anger or frustration just stay calm with them, but have them help with the laundry. Not as a punishment just a matter of fact. Good luck.

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R.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Many people aren't aware, but chiropractic helps children with bedwetting problems. If she has any nerves that are under stress in her low back (specifically the L3 vertabrae), those are the nerves that connect to the bladder and dictate control & function. An adjustment or two from a chiropractor will remove any nerve stress and "turn the power back on."
Good Luck with your little girl!

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