Help Me Feel Better About Preschool!

This, is a Rite of Passage and a "Milestone" development for both the Mom and child.

She will be okay.
MANY kids are not gregarious at first.
Then as they get used to it, it is fine.

My daughter started Preschool when I had my 2nd child.
She LOVED it.
It was HER time and HER thing and HER routine.
My daughter started at 3 years old also.
She was fine.

At this age, they are not experts, in socializing. This is normal. This is how they learn.
Don't compare her to other kids.
Each kid, is different.

This is only the beginning.

This is 'growing pains' for the Mommy, too.

Don't worry.
I am a SAHM and both my kids went to Preschool and LOVED it. Even if they both are 2 different personalities.
And YES, it DID prepare them for Kindergarten. Very much so.

I think you are doing the right thing. Preschool is always good and yes, it does help them prepare for school, both academically and socially. If you are having last minute reservations about it, why not start her out at part time a 3 days a week to ease you both into it? Just a thought. She might really enjoy interacting with kids her own age on a daily basis.

Oh sweetie...BOTH of you will love your time apart. I felt the same way and now can't WAIT for school to start!

I once worked for a married couple and hey drove each other NUTS because they were together ALL THE TIME. You need to get out a little to live so you have something to TALK ABOUT. Not exactly the same but WOW, once he go into the groove at school he was even more interesting to me!

It is hard, but she will benefit so much from her time at school. A whole new world will open up for her all because you're putting her needs ahead of your thoughts to keep her home. Keep her excitement growing and ongoing, this is a major step into the world of independence for her.

Preschool will give her the skills she needs to interact with other children her own age, as well as enriching her academically, she is going to blossom and grow so much! It will give you and your younger child the one-on-one time they need, and what a blessing and joy to have been there for your 3 year old these past 3 years.

Remember, you still need to be home with the younger one anyway ; ) The first few days or weeks will be different all around and then you should all drift into a new "normal" pattern. I've done this twice before, and will be doing it again in one year...I may need encouragement from you at that time!

Don't feel bad Mama!!! Preschool will be a great experience for both of you. It's a wonderful stepping stone to kindergarten and does provide kids with social opportunities and other experiences that she won't have being home with you. It's probably just a few hours a day and/or a few days a week, so you'll still have plenty of Mama time with her.

I think you'll feel better when you see how happy she is to be doing new things and having new friends.

She will come home just bubbling over with things she can't wait to tell you and artworks she can't wait to show you. Listen to every bubbling and put every artwork on the fridge (until you can't find the fridge).

She will come home talking about new friends until you learn all the friends' names and the name of the class turtle and the stuff on the playground that she just thinks is awesome. And on a few days she may come home blue that Sally is moving away, or that she didn't get a turn in the storybook corner before class was over, or that another kid she wanted to play with ran off to play with someone else.

In other words, she's going into a new world that will open her up to new experiences and she will take you along with her. You'll get to know her teachers, the other kids, their parents (play date time, and maybe some new, good friends for you). You WILL be seeing her do things and one of those things will be becoming more independent of you.

You're doing the right thing for her, for you and for the baby. Get involved in her preschool and her schools later on, too, and you'll be glad you did -- not to hover over her but to show her that we all do better if we also volunteer. And enjoy the preschool years!

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You ARE going to see her do things! You are going to see your daughter blossom and grow and learn how to deal with kids her own age. And she'll bring home all sorts of great stories and arts and crafts and you'll be able to see her joy in her own abilities and accomplishments. Truly, this is wonderful. It's NOT the end of your time with her; it's the beginning of a different kind of time with her!

Further, you're giving your baby the gift of one-on-one time with you. Many 2nd or 3rd babies don't get that and I think it's wonderful that you see it that way.

My boys are now teens and we still spend lots of time together, just different from when they were babies. An obvious example...I used to read constantly to my kids and it was sad when they wanted to read on their own. But, now, we all read together. We call them reading fests and we usually kick back in our family room or on someone's bed and we read away. Then, we chat and discuss what we've read. See? Still reading together, just different.

Change is hard, dear mama, but remember the ultimate goal of parenting: raising happy, confident children who can function well on their own. You've taken a positive step towards that goal. That doesn't make the sorrow any less, but it does give it perspective (I hope). My oldest is staring his senior year in high school and not a day goes by that I don't tear up at the thought of driving him to his new college dorm (where ever it may be) and then having to turn around and go home without him. But, through my tears, I think about all the fun--FUN, FUN, FUN--I'm going to have with my youngest because it will be "just us" (well, my husband, too, of course). It doesn't make the sorrow less, just different.

Parenting...it's all "just a phase!" We can't stop the phases, so we might as well embrace the joy in the them.

Hugs, dear mama, and good luck.

Relax, mama. Kids grow more independent as they get older, and it's always sad for us mamas! But at the same time, it is so neat to see them grow into their own people. My older daughter LOVED preschool. I was so nervous for her, but on the first day, she ran off without even kissing or hugging me, and never looked back! LOL She cried when it was time to go home! My younger daughter was more of a homebody and she did cry when I dropped her off for the first few weeks of preschool, but she gained confidence as time went on, and now she is little miss popularity in 2nd grade! You are doing the right thing for your child. It's hard to let our little ones grow wings and fly when all we want to do is hold them close. :)

This is never an easy choice for loving moms. Fortunately, recent research shows a strong connection between early preschool experience and later success, and it's the social skills they learn in groups, not any academic advantage. Read or listen to the radio report here: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2011/08/12/139583385/presc...

The bottom line is, you CAN back out now. She will NOT be behind if she doesn't go to 3 yo preschool. If you want to spend this time with her, keep her home. Not everyone has that luxury. As far as her being excited, plan a curriculum at home and set up a teacher station for you. Use it as needed or as a preschool prep. :)

My experience: I didn't even think about putting my older son in 3 yo ps because I was home with him and it didn't even occur to me, frankly. I thought of 3 yo ps as more of a daycare situation for women who worked. I felt blessed to have the time with my sweet boy. At 4, we put him in preschool and he loved it. He's now in 2nd grade. My younger son went to 3yo ps last year because he practically begged to go. We had volunteered a lot in big bro's classes and little guy really wanted to be in school. This year, he was set up for 4yo ps, but we withdrew him to save money (they go to a private school). He made some great friends in ps last year and was excited to see them again in school this year, but is NOT upset at all at the prospect of staying home with mommy. That may change as he sees big brother go to school in a couple of weeks, but right now, he's involved in planning our school days at home. I do what I can to keep him involved with the planning to keep his excitement up. We plan to do calendar, weather, story time, recess at the neighborhood park, field trips, and playdates with other kids his age, new friends and old friends. We will also be going to the gym where he plays in the kids' gym while I workout, and the library, and church once a week. I'm kind of excited to be his teacher this year, and I know we'll have fun.

Again, the bottom line is, do what you feel is right for you and your family right now. Don't let the "competitive parenting" sway your decisions too much. It's great to have different opinions, but choose what's best for you in the end.

Good luck. I'd be happy to share more curriculum ideas if you'd like... and I'd love you hear your ideas, too. ;)

My son is starting 3 yo prek in two weeks too and I feel the same way. The only difference is that I'm having my second in a month so I know the time will be needed, but I still feel guilty. I'm looking at it this way, if he (or in your case she) enjoys it, it will be worth it even though you hate to see her go. I saw the 3yo prek as "optional" because not everybody goes that route so if it doesn't seem to be working and she's miserable pull her out and wait until next year. You can always get her involved in activities in the community to encourage her social skills if the prek doesn't work this year. I think you'll be surprised at how well she takes to it, I thought putting my son in daycare for two days a week would be h*** o* him, but it was a lot harder on me because I felt like this was the beginning of the end of his "childhood" and being home with me. I cried my eyes out. He has practically pushed me out the door when I drop him off, so I know he loves it and it has greatly increased his social skills since being around other kids his age. Do what feels right, as long as you don't let her know that you're anxious about it, let her show you how it works for her. Best of luck!

Is this full day, half day? every day? mine went two or three mornings a week at that age, nice compromise between time with Mom and time with peers

People would like to tell you they are better in school after being in pre-school. I did not find that to be the case personally. My first child went to PS for the social aspect and I think it did her good, but she was not entirely prepped and ready for K even though they taught things like letter sounds and blends. I was just more comfortable with my second child at home and we did lots of learning on our own and fun outings. He had social interaction with kids his age so I didn't feel like he was missing out on anything. The year before K we started doing more formal learning times with various workbooks I had picked out and crafts for the fine motor skills. He entered Kindergarten last year and was placed in a first grade math class and immediately climbed to a high reading level. I feel like I did just as well or better teaching him all that myself and we had lots of precious time together while we could. Good luck on your decision, but do what you feel is right for you and your child.

I feel the same exact way that you do!! I even skipped the 3 yr program because I was so unsure whether it was necessary and now that she's signed up for the 4 yr program, I'm freaking out! Not just because she's going to school now, but because this marks the rest of her childhood....year after year in school! Where did my tiny little baby go? I remind myself that this is going to be so beneficial to her but I don't celebrate the fact that she's heading off to school...she does, but I don't!! At least she's excited....

Good luck!

As a preschool teacher ( part time programs), the most important thing I can teach the kids is that school is fun. The kids will learn and play all at the same time. They learn to interact with all different types of kids, they learn to solve problems on their own, they learn to function independently within the classroom, they learn to share snacks and take responsibility when they are the line leader or the snack helper. There is A LOT of learning that goes on that is not necessarily academic (letters and numbers, although we do a lot of that too!!) I am NOT an advocate of full time preschool if you are a SAHM. Daycare is necessary and there are good ones out there! But, I was a SAHM with my third and I knew that I wanted him in a part time preschool. I ended up working at his preschool as his teacher! Not really what I expected but we had a lot of fun. Preschool is about the small things that people don't necessarily think about. Your daughter will LOVE her time as a "big girl". She will get to paint and get messy, she will get to play with her friends, she will get to create wonderful crafts and works of art. Also, since you are a SAHM, you will be able to help out in the classroom, attend special events throughout the year and take her and pick her up and actually talk to her teacher, something that gets lost when they get older. Good Luck!! You made a good decision!!

Just relax. I'm sure she will do fine. Just think of all the fun things she will get to do, and the friends she will make. My 3 yr old will be starting preschool in Sept, but she will just be going 2 mornings a week. I feel like this way I will still have lots of time with her at home. When my 3 yr old and 6 yr old are at school, I will be able to spend some alone time with my 18 month old.

Is it all day or 1/2 day preschool? If it's half day, it's like getting the best of both worlds. She gets to go and play with kids her own age and have fun and you still get to play with her after. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Think of it as she getting some time to herself too.

Our dd starts preschool tomorrow she is 2 it will be tue/thurs for 3 hours each day and we are so excited. I know that sounds mean but I have been a SAHM for a 1.5 yr and am looking forward to getting things done that i cant when she is my shadow. it will be ok she will do great and meet many new friends.

Actually...kids in preschool don't end up being "smarter" in the long run. Early teaching actually isn't the most beneficial (and there is real evidence for this, but I don't have time to type it out again). They learn social skills, but they can learn that with play dates. As for learning things to not be behind in kindergarten, it's easy for you to teach her.

Not saying you shouldn't do preschool, just saying if you keep feeling like it's not right, it's REALLY not that beneficial to them, and it's not something you can't do yourself (playdates/teaching numbers/letters and some reading, etc).

What did you sign up for 3 hours 2 days a week?? or is it 8 hours a day 5 days a week. Preschool in my school district is a few hours a few days a week.. I am not sure I will be able to get my grocery shopping done while myt son is in preschool.. 2.5 hours is not a long time..

You do not have to send her to preschool this year or next.. my kids did preschool and loved it.. story time, craft time, playtime snack time.. and the day is over.

See how it goes for a couple of weeks.. and if it is not fun for her and helpful for you take her out.. but find a playgroup so she can socialize.

Both my daughters love "school" - 3.5 year old and 9 month old. They are not always happy when I leave but they are always playing when I get there and I get to ask my oldest one about her day and she does the same with me =)

I think it's pretty sweet when she says "so how was your day Mommy" and the big smile my 9 month old gives me when she sees me walking through the door.

With my first I didn't have to put her in "school" until she turned a little over one and it was hard. It was even harder with my second as she started a little over 3 months. I felt like I was missing out. I still do but it makes me feel good to know that they are happy there and the plus side... they are learning many things to prepare them for not only school but also how to socialize, manners, etc. We are lucky to have such a great school though where: they have the older kids help the little ones; learn how to "clean up"; and reinforce how to be polite, thoughtful and nice.